Life is full of events, and they are not always joyful: some of them you simply want to erase from your memory. However, often a person mentally plays out a negative situation in his head, returning to it again and again. However, you can get rid of this habit, and the tips described below will help with this.
How to forget an unpleasant event?
When thinking about how to forget something forever, you should resort to the following method. You will be required to relive the negative event without changing the plot. It is important that you feel emotionally what happened in the past. Remember all the little things you can.
Then imagine that all this happened not to you, but to someone else. What advice would you give to this person? Surely you would see the situation from a different angle. Put yourself in the shoes of the people who participated in it. What emotions are you feeling now? Most likely, you will not be so offended by everything that happened. After this, imagine how the picture fades and then disappears from your field of vision. You can even mentally drown her in sulfuric acid. She is no more, she has disappeared, she has died, which means you can let everything go. Understand that the past is dead and will never come back. Once you understand this, the pain will go away.
How can you forget something terrible?
You can erase a terrible event from your memory by switching your brain to something completely different. This could be work, a new hobby, dating. Also, you shouldn’t be alone, otherwise thoughts about what happened will simply haunt you. It’s better to spend some time with friends and relatives. Of course, from time to time, memories of a negative event will pop up in your memory, but every day it will hurt you less and less.
Some people are bothered by nightmares in which they return to that terrible reality and relive it. In this case, you need to think only about good things before going to bed. For example, thank Higher power for what positive things happened over the past day. It could be:
- meeting with an old friend;
- your baby's smile or first words;
- pleasant memory- cute kitten or puppy, beautiful butterfly.
You can also watch a comedy, a concert of your favorite artist, or listen to a new album before going to bed. It is important that you take your mind off what is weighing you down. As a result, you will go to bed in high spirits, which means you will only have pleasant dreams.
How to forget something bad in your life?
Bad events often happen in a person’s life, and most often he blames a relative, friend, or acquaintance for them. As a result, hatred appears, but it does not allow you to live in peace. In this case, it is very important to forgive the person who harmed you and let him go. Meditation will help you with this. Sit in comfortable armchair or lie down on your bed, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Once you are completely relaxed, you can begin to meditate. Imagine a place where you will be as comfortable as possible, and invite your offender there. Look into his eyes, look at his facial features, look at his clothes.
Now tell him everything you think about him. Surely you have accumulated a lot. You don't have to be shy in your expressions. Once you tell your abuser how you feel, you will feel better.
The next stage will be forgiveness. Take the person by the hands, look into his eyes and tell him that you forgive him. This must be done sincerely. Say the words “I forgive you” as many times as you want until you believe it. After this, you can let the offender go: look after him, wish him happiness and surround him with love.
You should feel lightness, it will be a sign that you have let go of the situation. If not, you need to do this exercise every evening. It may take you a month or a week, take your time, as it will become easier for you. As a result, the bad event will not dominate your mind; your brain will simply forget it.
How to forget a negative event forever?
The following exercise will help you forget something forever. For it you will need to find a sheet of paper, a saucer, matches and a pen. Sit down at the table and describe a negative event that happened to you. Remember all the details. Once you realize that you have nothing more to add, reread what you wrote and tear the paper, imagining how the negative situation is erased from your memory.
Then take a saucer, put scraps of paper in it and set them on fire. Look carefully at the flame, imagine how all your grievances and memories burn in it. Once the paper is completely burned, wash off the ash with water. That's it, this memory is no longer there, it has no power over your mind. Remember this and enjoy today without going back to the past.
You can read more tips on consigning memories to oblivion in our article -.
Even with great effort, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are several simple ways, thanks to which you can get rid of unpleasant memories and start life with a clean slate.
Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that are impossible to forget. In this article we will talk about what has already happened to us, and about what we need to leave in the past forever in order to start living again.
Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn’t matter whether they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our minds, because they are an inseparable part of us. The past is the basis of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our lives, or it can upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and we do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments occur in our lives, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. The site's experts bring to your attention several ways in which you can let go of the past and start new life.
Main causes of negative memories
Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his previous life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.
Death loved one. It is this memory that is almost impossible to get rid of; you can only come to terms with it. Death loved one is capable of not just turning our lives around, but dividing it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.
Breakup or betrayal. The betrayal of a loved one is very difficult to survive. Betrayal leaves a deep wound in the heart and makes us completely disappointed in opposite field. Breakup is also one of the biggest shocks in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the advent of new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.
Moving. Longing for old places and old acquaintances - this is what people who change their place of residence face. Over time, we get used to a new city, make new friends, but memories of familiar places never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to the new life and find your advantages in it. Try to look back as little as possible, otherwise moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.
Incorrect choice professions. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and don’t even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we remember with bitterness those times when we chose future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many people say that it’s never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the type of activity that you like.
Ways to get rid of negative memories
Before you learn about ways to get rid of negative memories, be in a positive mood. Don't forget that besides the unpleasant moments in life there are many good things. Suffering and complaining is not a way out of the situation. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living with a clean slate.
Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some aspects of your past. At this stage you need:
- Let go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will repeat in his life, and thereby attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. You don’t have to put up with the fact that troubles will happen in your life, try to imagine your future in a better light.
- Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what you should do in a certain situation. To start life again, you need to admit that your mistakes are your fault. This way you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
- Forget your mistakes. Perhaps you once betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad act. This does not mean that memories of him and feelings of shame should haunt you throughout your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will cause you to torment yourself.
After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you have gotten rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.
Learn from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from an unpleasant situation, you can learn a useful lesson that will help you avoid mistakes in the future. Our past is invaluable experience, because all the events that happened directly related to us. Your task is to draw the main and useful things from it and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.
Freeing yourself from negative memories. The most important stage, in which you must completely get rid of negative memories. To do this you will need:
- Choose the right attitude. Start every morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
- Psychological reception with water. If negative memories do not leave you, turn on the tap and imagine that they flow away together with water.
- Get rid of things that have negative memories associated with them. If there are things in your house that you have negative memories associated with, get rid of them. For example, after breaking up with your loved one, you don’t need to keep gifts and photos together, no matter how dear they are to you. One look at them will pull you back into the past, preventing you from moving forward.
- Change the environment. If ambient atmosphere makes you sad and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do repairs or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you take your mind off negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
- Change appearance. To understand your present internal state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will make even you feel sorry for yourself. Think about whether your memories are worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and boutique shopping. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
- Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you don’t need to make a personal meeting with every offender, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
- Master meditation. Meditative practices help you relax and free your thoughts from everything unnecessary, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will fade into the background.
- Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits clog a person's life. The minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful are spent to your detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic drinks have a negative impact on nervous system, and while consuming them, people begin to be overcome by memories of past life and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will be doing a huge service to yourself and your body.
Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories
Meditation - The best way relax and get rid of negative memories. This meditation practice is distinguished by its simplicity, and it can be performed at any time of the day.
To begin, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to do meditation in nature, but if you do not have such an opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to be alone.
Imagine that you are in beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful environment reigns around you, and the only thing that prevents you from taking a step forward is the heavy bag that you hold in your hands. In your mind you should open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:
- I let go of my past;
- I myself can control my thoughts;
- I am free from my memories;
- I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
- I live in the present;
- I love only myself and my family;
- I can meet new love;
- I will find
These three ways really help you forget the past. For maximum effectiveness, I recommend combining them with each other.
To leave the negative past behind and gain complete control over your life, register for Alexander Gerasimenko’s training “” (June 8-9, Moscow).
The first way to forget the past
Reception of NLP. Imagine a wall with photographs from different moments of your life pasted on it. Here you are going to school, here is your first love, here you have earned your first penny, now a nightmare happens that you are trying to forget... All significant and even some ordinary moments of your life should be on this wall. Imagine all the photos in color, only the negative event in black and white. Step back and look at the wall of your life from the outside. See how much color there is on it and how small, in scale, this black white photography. Now mentally shrink it to a size of 3 by 4 cm. Next, continue to “glue” photographs on the wall of your life. Glue the future. Continue filling the wall with paints. Any of your dreams, pleasant moments, vacations, your children, how they go to school... Images in which you help other people. Pictures where people admire you. As a result, black and white photo will be surrounded on all sides by color photographs that go far away from him. You look at the wall and realize that the incident you want to forget is just a single event. It has its boundaries, it is local and now occupies only an insignificant part of the wall of your life. This black and white photo is not your life. Your life is colorful, bright and desirable.
As a result of this exercise, negative memories were localized, and a life full of happiness and events appeared around them. You have not forgotten the past, you have limited it, and it no longer extends to the present and future.
The second way to forget the past
Replay in your imagination a depressing, shocking event from your past that you want to forget. Yes, I encourage you to delve into this terrible past that you are so afraid of. But do it in a special way - in the form of a black and white movie with funny music in the background. Turn on the movie and take your seat in the back rows of the theater. Insert laughter from the audience in the audience into your movie. Add hysterical laughter here and there. Play some scenes backwards to make the film funnier. Play your movie until you are no longer afraid of it.
By adding cheerful sounds and distorting the picture, playing it backwards, you can “color” the black and white memories of your past and change your attitude towards them. This technique allows you to correct your memory. You will do the same thing you did in school with a deuce in your diary using a blade. You erased it and drew a four in its place. The “diary” of your life will look great after this exercise, and you will be able to stop worrying about “bad grades” in the past.
The third way to forget the negative past
This method is very practical. It doesn't involve playing with your own mind and not only helps you forget disturbing memories, but also changes the way you think about what happened to you in the past.
I will explain it in metaphorical terms. To begin with, imagine that the past that you need to forget is a nuclear reactor. Even after years, it emits radiation and poisons everything around it. The lives of people living nearby, that is, yours, are infected. You can no longer smell flowers because your sense of smell gives out all the smells distorted. You can feel the fumes from a burnt-out power plant everywhere, which haunts you even in your sleep. Radiation must be eliminated. The reactor must be concreted and the event buried in the past. Yes and please. Concrete!
If your memories bother you and you sit in the kitchen and think “how to forget them,” then you just stir up the ashes and blow on them. Memories continue to poison life. In another case, you may want to escape from painful thoughts and sit down in front of the TV. This does not work. This is the same as covering a radioactive source with oilcloth.
Remember to forget the unpleasant past, it must be concreted. How can I do that? Simple - burying the source of the explosion under massive actions. Our memory is limited in its capabilities and cannot retain everything that we have experienced. The more active actions we took, the more we experienced, the more layers of “concrete” will cover the event that you want to forget.
Those. massive actions that require your 100% attention and will be concrete for an exploded reactor. Keep yourself busy with exciting activities. It's very difficult, you know, to worry about the past when you're skiing down the mountain. It is unlikely that you will remember the negativity that haunts you at the moment when you speak from the podium in front of a large audience.
You need to start laying layers of concrete that don't let your past into your present and future. Take bright, bold, proactive actions and your past will remain in the past.
It's not just your life that has had so much negativity. Most people have terrible memories that need to be unleashed for a second and they will be devoured. Therefore, let's talk about how to forget bad memories. By the way, if you can do this, your psychological state will change for the better, which means your present will become a little better.
Do you need a psychotherapist?
Sometimes they just sit and agree, shaking their heads. The same thing happens when communicating with friends: a friend sits and assents, everything ultimately comes down to rubbing out the terrible past and tearing apart old wounds. So, we don’t need such a psychotherapist. But a more intelligent one will be quite suitable, but only on the condition that the two of you will work together.
Both cognitive therapy and body-oriented therapy can help. But that's enough effective way from a psychotherapist who told the author how to get rid of bad memories (well, or part of them) in a week. We just start a notebook (maybe with an ugly picture) and for a whole week we write down all the bad memories of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Don't be shy and pour it all out. The second option is from Lissy Moussa’s simoron: we write down all the nasty things on small pieces of paper, everywhere, even at work, even on the trolleybus. Spend a week on this too. And on Saturday we string everything on a thread and wear it on our belt like a tail. The result is the same: both the tail and the notebook need to be burned on Sunday evening and the ashes scattered. Then walk from that place at a brisk pace and without looking back.
If this is labor-intensive and unpleasant for you, just shout out and speak out, even if it’s to a supportive friend who is ready to erase this negativity for the umpteenth time. The next thing to do is to take a spoonful of honey out of all this and understand what good there was from all this evil. Well, now you can get rid of this trash of negative memories.
We forgive
We forgive ourselves and forgive those who became the source of bad memories. A mature person fully understands that at the time of the wrong action he probably had no other choice. Just like the one who offended him. The only thing you can do here is forgive. Try to understand what is unacceptable for you (insults, betrayals, humiliation of your neighbor, self-affirmation at the expense of others, scams) for others may be the norm, because such people were not taught differently and were not given the same upbringing as you. And further. If you were once insulted or humiliated, this does not mean that you are bad. Perhaps the person simply asserted himself in this way, or was pursuing his own goals, in achieving which you were simply something passable.
Pick up the ball
There is one method on how to forget bad memories at least for a moment. a short time. This method won’t get rid of them forever, but it will definitely prevent them from taking over you. So, as soon as something unpleasant comes to mind, we pick up the ball and remember the children's game: I know ten names of boys. We hit the ball against the wall and remember five boys' names. Let's complicate things further. Today you saw ten beautiful things and did ten have a nice day. It doesn't cure, but it relieves pain.
And in general, active movements and physical activity can work a miracle. We do yoga or something from the “smart body” category four times a week. It takes a little time, but it is distracting. Helps for the first time after a flurry of negative emotions.
Getting rid of things
How to get rid of bad memories if everything around you “turns on” their button? No way. So, we take out to the trash all the things that remind us of our betrayed friends. We also send a photo of the betrayed husband there... Things should not become a source of negative memories. It’s much more difficult with phrases and words that provoke.
Coming up with an alternative history
In fact, memories can be replaced. Moreover, even the most negative memories are sometimes overgrown with unpleasant details that... did not happen.
So why not replace them with good ones? Or, instead of loneliness, poverty and humiliation from classmates and parents in adolescence, imagine that you were popular, wealthy and loved by your parents.
If in childhood you were attacked by a dog and since then you have been afraid of them, then you can revive in your memory the moment that your older brother or father protected you. And after that, think about how good it is to be saved by your brother or dad. You can also rewrite an unpleasant story from the past and change the course of events so that everything ends happily and joyfully.
Just an exercise
You can lie down on the sofa or sit in the most comfortable chair. The main thing is to be alone and quiet. Watch your breathing a little. Try to imagine your memory in some collective way. You don't really need a clear picture - you need something that evokes emotions in you. Now attach adjustment knobs to this picture: just like on an old TV. If this is already difficult for your imagination, a remote control on which you can turn down the sound and brightness will do. Now rotate this knob or press the remote control button. First we turn the sound down to zero. Now, you no longer hear insults from your classmates or your ex. Now we remove the contrast of the memory. And finally, we remove the brightness. As a result, the unpleasant picture from the past should turn into a silent blur. Do all this very smoothly, slowly destroying memories. You can repeat the exercise whenever negative points will come to mind again.
The second option is to place the resulting picture in a room with many lamps. And now, slowly but surely, we turn off the lamps one by one: the first, the second, the tenth... the image becomes visible worse and worse... You can also repeat this exercise. Over time, you will realize that the memory no longer hurts as much.
You can also imagine that what hurts you so much is just a dream from the past.
And remember that memories are just imprints from the past. They simply no longer exist, just as the past does not exist. Were you bullied by children at school? You can look at the children now passing under your window. Are you afraid? So, there is no past, which means it’s quite possible to get rid of it.
There have been periods in every person's life that they would like to erase from their memory. Some, despite all the difficulties, pull themselves together and move to a new level, only occasionally remembering the upheavals that have occurred; others cannot help but constantly think about the past, thereby depriving themselves of the chance to be happy in the present and future. No matter what burden of the past haunts you: parting with a loved one, missed opportunities, death of loved ones, betrayal of friends, guilt... Now is the time to forget the past forever and start living in the present.
How to stop living in the past?
Don't think about the past: why doesn't it let us go?
Many people wonder: why do some people, having experienced very serious shocks and trials, quickly recover and start a new life, while others fall into long-term depression and cannot stop living in the past after the unsuccessful end of a two-month affair?
Psychology can give answers to this; a lot here depends on age, the atmosphere in which a person lived in childhood, on the type of character and personality. And, even if you consider yourself to be a weak type who takes any life trials to heart, it does not mean that you are not able to cope on your own and not think about the past.
Most often, we cannot forget the past and live in the present, because we feel guilty for the current situation, we are tormented by thoughts that we could have acted differently - and thereby change the ending...
...Sometimes the past does not let us forget about itself, because we do not let go of past grievances, we believe that we were treated unfairly.
Our bad memories are like a suitcase with useless junk that we habitually carry with us everywhere... Do you need such a load?
...And sometimes we can’t forget the past and live in the present because we like this state of self-pity, we are not ready to change, grow, we feel comfortable sitting in our shell, cherishing our grief, closing ourselves off from the entire world around us. This is such masochism. How can you change the situation and start enjoying life again?
How to forget the past and start living in the present: 5 steps to a happy life
Healing from old wounds is a complex and often long process, but no matter what lies behind us, each of us can stop living in the past. Here are the steps that will help you get rid of your worries forever:- realize that the past is past, that it is thoughts about it that prevent you from living fully in the present and planning the future. Of course, this is not easy to do, but do you really want to breathe deeply again?
2. Step two- Sorry. Now it doesn’t matter who is to blame for what happened in the past, and who caused the offense: you or those who offended you. It is impossible to turn back time, everything has already been done, and your suffering today will not change the accomplished fact. Mentally ask for forgiveness or forgive, you can go to church. If you have offended a person and know how to contact him, you can call and apologize. That's all. Turn the page. People have the right to make mistakes: you and your loved ones are no exception. If you think that what you did earlier is too serious or you have no one to apologize to, switch to caring about others. You can't change what happened, but you can help others and make their lives better. Volunteering in orphanages, nursing homes or homeless animal shelters - think in this direction.
3. Step three– don’t be sorry. Regret about missed opportunities, wasted time, broken relationships is the road to nowhere. Regrets, as well as self-pity, are generally extremely destructive feelings. Try to look at the situation from a different point of view: you have gained experience, you have learned from your mistakes, you will no longer allow this situation to happen in your life. And guess what? By suffering and constantly feeling sorry for yourself, you destroy not only your life, but also the lives of your loved ones, who find it difficult to see you in this state. Don't you feel sorry for them?
Remind yourself often that our life goes only in one direction - to the future, nothing can be turned back. Thinking about what could have been is useless 4. Step four- reboot. If the pain is still fresh, you are bursting from the inside negative emotions, don’t try to be strong, allow yourself to scream, cry, break a cup in the end for one day. You can go to the gym and furiously beat the punching bag. Throw out the pain - this will make it easier to forget the past and start living in the present.
5. Step five– replacement rule. Think about how much time and energy you waste on empty things - not letting go of past grievances and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, you could change for the better. To begin with, you can go to the salon, change your hair color, get a manicure, radically change your image, or finally start searching. Sign up for driving courses, study foreign language, handicrafts. And most importantly, go in for sports. Yoga is great for getting rid of unnecessary thoughts. If you take on new interests and hobbies in your life, there will simply be no room left for regret and thoughts about the burden of the past.
In general, it seems to me that one of the most effective ways forget the past- clear the physical space around you: , spend (read where p led me), organize little things like books and... Having let go of things from your past life, you physically feel how life is changing!
Getting rid of the burden of the past and letting go of past grievances is much easier than you think now, the main thing is to start acting right now. In just a few days you will be drawn into a new, happy and interesting life.