How to love the person who loves you? How to learn to love the people around you and what will help with this? You need to love a person, but you can’t.

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Often a person appears in our lives to whom we become not indifferent. He selflessly falls in love with us, showing signs of attention, and tries to achieve our favor. If a truly sublime feeling settles in him, and not a fleeting infatuation, then the story of unrequited courtship and unrequited love drags on for a long time. Over time, we can no longer imagine the morning without his call or pleasant SMS message. It becomes part of everyday life, filling the mind and soul. It is not surprising that logical questions arise in your head: Perhaps it is with him that you will be happy? How to love the person who loves you? Should you reciprocate long-term courtship?

If you feel the need for friendly support or dream of a serious relationship, then such thoughts appear in the subconscious more and more often. After a short period of time, you involuntarily begin to consider, regarding it as a possible option for your “half”. In the current situation, it is important to realize that the desire that appears is not a figment of a sick imagination. You cannot choose a partner based on the lack of more attractive options. Later, such a decision may become a prerequisite for development caused by the inconsistency of your desires and reality. However, in the case when a person reveals a new side to you, and you can no longer imagine your everyday life without his participation, it is worth trying to find reciprocity in yourself.

Reciprocity in love relationships: features and benefits

“Open up” to your chosen one in order to develop trust in him. If you share your innermost dreams and childhood fears with your partner, then you will have common secrets known only to a select few. For you, such an action will be a serious step towards your cherished goal, because you automatically include the person in a narrow circle of close people.
Find common hobbies so that your time is accompanied by exclusively positive emotions. Do you like animals? Visit zoos and terrariums together, arrange photo sessions with your pets. Are you fascinated by cars? Start tuning the vehicle, draw a graphic layout, and decide on the scale of future changes. Rejoice when you are close to a loving person, forgetting about pressing problems and everyday matters.
In the process of cultivating a sublime feeling in yourself, do not try to change, adjusting your personal appearance to achieve your cherished goal. You were loved for the set of qualities that are already present in your image. Learn to adapt to the specifics of the situation, listen to your partner’s opinion, and find compromises. However, do not forget about your own ego.
Don't overdo it in trying to build a relationship based on mutual feelings. Love should be accompanied by a positive spectrum of emotions, and not become a daily routine that causes pain, despair and despondency. Don’t forget to keep the “fire” in your partner’s eyes by warming up your own feelings - confidence in the future is distinguished by the pleasant but unexpected actions of your loved ones.
You cannot cultivate love in yourself by going “down the path” of sexual relationships. If you decide to awaken a sublime feeling with the help of intimacy, then you risk disturbing the harmony of the chosen one’s inner world. Sex without the proper emotional background will turn out to be a rather mediocre event, so it is useless to count on the longevity of a love union.
Don't talk about love if you are not yet ready to utter your cherished words. A phrase spoken under moral and psychological pressure from a partner does not differ in any subtext. Honesty is a stronghold for building new relationships. Starting the construction of a love union with a lie is an inappropriate decision.

When you are about to reciprocate your partner's long-term courtship and attentions, it is important to find peace of mind. Don't make decisions based on emotions and feelings of hopelessness. Viewing a person as the last chance for a happy marriage is not a practical choice. It is worth thinking about the relevance of reciprocal sympathy only in the case when such thoughts themselves appeared on a subconscious level. If you deliberately push yourself, trying to find merit in your partner, then it is useless to count on the strength and durability of a love union.

The question of what ““ is” has remained in the category of rhetorical dilemmas for many centuries. Great minds are able to give an exclusively terminological definition of such a phenomenon, but it remains impossible to describe the spectrum of sublime feelings. It’s not surprising, because love has no boundaries or boundaries. For each person, it is contained in individual emotions and is associated with certain events, accompanied by vivid and memorable memories.

24 March 2014, 14:40

Time does not stand still, and many of your friends have already acquired husbands and children, but you still can’t find your one and only? You may already have a boyfriend, but the problem is that only he feels love for you, and you don’t. On the one hand, it’s a wonderful feeling when you are loved, but on the other hand, you want to experience this inspired feeling yourself. If you have at least friendly feelings for a man, then all is not lost. Psychologists say that love begins with sincere friendship. But other relationships, built only on passion, do not last long. In this article, you will learn how to love a guy who loves you.

Is it possible to love a person over time?

As you know, love is, first of all, a deep feeling. When we experience love, we experience . And it will definitely take time to develop this feeling. Believe me, once you fall in love, you will feel it immediately. Don't rush yourself, be patient and at first just enjoy the friendly affection. The main thing is for love to appear, then truly falling in love will not be difficult.

Try to spend time with him as often as possible. This way you can quickly recognize common interests, and if you spend time together often, you can quickly develop your unidentified feeling. But you shouldn’t abuse it, loneliness can sometimes be very useful. You may feel some irritability towards your companion, in which case, take a rest and spend some time apart. If you do not have the opportunity to remain without the attention of your chosen one, then this may end badly, and you will begin to feel great hostility towards him. For example, this applies to married women. And they are much more tormented by the question of how to love a husband who loves you.

When discussing the topic of whether it is possible to fall in love with a person over time, we confidently say yes!

How to love someone who loves you?

When answering the question of how to love someone who loves you, first of all you must understand that love is happiness, which should bring joy, not pain and suffering.

Girls should show maximum attention to their chosen one. Try to listen to a man, try to understand his thoughts, all his problems and do not ignore his opinion. You should get to know him as much as possible, maybe you just don’t know him well? After all, a person is not always able to open up right away.

Avoid criticism! You should not attach great importance to some wrong actions and words. Even if he really does something wrong, don’t get angry, try to talk to him calmly. Especially it concerns hot-tempered girls. Remember, you want to fall in love with this person, not push him further away from your heart. Also, forget about any quarrels, because anyone will cause you wild irritation, and in the end you will hate your companion. In case of conflict, do not express everything at once, but try to calm your anger. It is best to ask forgiveness for your temper.

A whole Universe lives within a person, which is incredibly difficult to unravel, and often impossible. It happens that we cannot understand someone and this is certainly annoying. People are individuals, and it's time to come to terms with the fact that they cannot and do not want to think in sync with us. We should not forget that we do not live in an isolated world, but in a society. This means that the ability to find an approach to every person is an invaluable ability that any of us can acquire.

What is behind the criticism?

What is the root of the situation and how to love people? Behind the critical assessment of members of society, as a rule, lies self-doubt and dislike of one’s appearance. Surely you have witnessed a situation where a young girl angrily evaluates another because her skirt is not long enough. She necessarily compares herself and is consoled by the fact that she is still doing well: she does not allow herself to wear such “terrible” things. Or a man without biceps will never recognize the beauty of a sculpted body. Rather, he will demonstrate absolute disinterest and completely devalue the other's biceps. An even attitude towards people is the central proof of self-confidence, real, not fictitious. Here's the rub: acceptance of others and a positive attitude towards them is a consequence of self-love (not to be confused with selfishness!).

The mantra is that everyone is different, and that’s wonderful. This means that you should gather your strength and try to heal your damaged ego, and then look at those around you with new eyes. You need to remember that you are a unique copy of yourself, therefore, it would be great to take off the mask of uncertainty and understand that each person is an individual. It is necessary to allow others to be themselves.

Allow people to take off their masks

Once Bernard Werber, a French writer, very original, but so truthfully described the need for acceptance of people:

Are you angry at the grass because it's green?

No! Not angry. What's the point of this? This will not make her any less green.

What is the point then of being angry with a person because he is not what you imagine him to be?

The initial stage of accepting people as real consists in excluding one’s own attachments and leaving the individual world, which presupposes an absolute separation of one’s own and someone else’s. A person should fully experience freedom, and then provide it to others. Contemplation of one's own emotions is the most important task of achieving internal harmony, because through this process a person is able to accept his thoughts and state of mind, and therefore understand and stop judging others.

Unruly emotions. How to love people through humility with your own feelings?

No one will argue that it is incredibly difficult to hide anger, mistrust, resentment and other negative feelings. But the fact is that it is completely useless to abolish them by an act of will: this only contributes to huge losses of internal energy. Of course, a person can put on an insincere smile, speak flattering speeches or give empty gifts, keeping the poison of hatred in his heart. Therefore, the most competent move in this case is not to be afraid to hide your emotions behind a screen of hypocrisy, which is about to fall - and trouble will not be avoided.

Undoubtedly, emotions were not even close to love, however, they play a significant role in the mental state of every person. After all, love for others, not justified by feelings, means loving “badly.” Accordingly, it is completely illogical to try to draw warm feelings on a subconscious level and convince yourself of a kind attitude towards your neighbor, because

But we should not forget that there is a close relationship between actions and feelings. Hundreds of years ago, James and Lange discovered a law that is very useful for modern society: emotions follow behavior.

Loving “badly”, or in a conscious way?

A brilliant way to change your negative attitude towards people is to start loving them in a “bad way”. Like this? In fact, such a primitive phrase carries a deep meaning. The problem of almost every modern person is understanding love as a special state, which he is often unable to explain even to himself. For some reason, we think that such a magical feeling will definitely fall from the sky - and straight into the heart. It doesn't happen like that!

To love others is to initially formulate this decision in your subconscious, and then confirm it with appropriate behavior. That is, love is not a static feeling - it is the result of long-term work on oneself and one’s emotions. This is not a ready-made state, but a very difficult path, the initial steps of which, as a rule, are ugly and clumsy, but the main thing is that they exist.

It is possible to love every person, you just need to program an individual action plan within yourself. First, you should stop avoiding people who are unpleasant to you, after which the process falls into the hands of fantasy. It is absolutely not difficult to pay attention to a person, give him a smile, having the attitude in your thoughts: “By the way, he is a very good person,” and do good deeds towards your neighbor, even in a one-sided way. The result of the above thinking is the formation of light in the darkness of dislike, which makes the person himself feel warmer in his soul.

An honest attitude towards your emotional state is, of course, smart. It allows you to see your own inner darkness and not live in self-deception. In addition, it serves as an excellent way to notice the undulation of our emotions, because often we do not always love our loved ones. But loving “badly” is undeniable; the optimal solution is to turn on the inner light and program your good attitude towards the person. Do not forget that the image of the interlocutor is a product of the imagination. It should be remembered that “bad” love for people will definitely show that you have room to grow.

Black dot on a white sheet

One day a young guy was sitting on a bench in an autumn park. His eyes were full of unreasonable sadness. A nice girl passed by and decided to inquire about the reason for such a confused look. The guy did not hide the fact that his wife had become unbearable in communication; he was very annoyed. The girl’s reaction was quite unexpected: she smiled, after which she took out a piece of paper from her purse and drew a black dot on it. “What do you see here?” - she asked the young man. “Bold point,” he answered in surprise. The mysterious stranger explained that the guy’s problem was his reluctance to see the white sheet due to his absolute focus on the point. It’s the same with people: no one is perfect, but there is much more than bad in everyone. And this is a reason to close your eyes to minor shortcomings and love your neighbor, regardless of such ridiculous circumstances.

Love the person himself - and life will sparkle with completely different colors. After all, everyone is capable of generating a warm feeling in themselves without conventions. This can be proven by complete acceptance of life and all its components. You have come to terms with the birds, the trees, the sun overhead and everything, everything, so what prevents you from accepting people as they are?

Premature conclusions are often misleading

Almost everyone has a stupid habit of drawing premature conclusions about this or that person, which makes it very difficult to love people. Psychology gives good advice on this matter: you should always put yourself in the place of another.

If you are sure that rude or selfish behavior is completely unusual for a certain person, then you should think about the reasons for its occurrence. Most likely, this is due to troubles at work or in your personal life. In general, there are many factors of emotional incontinence, but that is not the point. The main thing is to learn to understand a person and, if necessary, help him, because it often happens that with his incomprehensible behavior he screams for help. It is very important at this stage to hear this call. All people are good, you just need to at least superficially unravel and understand them (“to love” and “understand” as synonyms).

Are you irritated by everything? It's a problem and it's inside

How to love people and not reach that very critical point when absolutely everyone starts to irritate and cause negative feelings? Sometimes a person manages to find flaws in absolutely every one of his current surroundings. He does not like a certain character trait, manner of behavior, communication or conversation, style of clothing and, finally, just being present.

This behavior in psychology is explained by a phenomenon called the “projection trap”, which does not allow you to love a person for who he is. The fact is that each personality contains two aspects. The Light One is ready to fully accept and approve the behavior of his neighbor. And the shadow side of personality is associated with self-denial. Like this? A person who has fallen into this trap begins to attribute his aspirations and intentions to other people only because he is not able to recognize them in himself at the level of consciousness. He projects his shadow part on his neighbor, and therefore irritation towards others rapidly gains momentum in direct proportion to his own denial. We must remember: a person is not able to notice in his neighbor those character traits that he himself is not endowed with.

Erase the line between love for life and love for people

The previous sections discussed in detail showing love and respect for people through self-confidence. This factor plays a huge role, but another aspect is no less important: how to love life and people? In this chapter, warmth towards society is defined as a consequence of an optimistic attitude towards life. There are people who notice only the positive aspects of life and all kinds of pleasures that every day provides them. Such people try to avoid negative aspects or turn a blind eye to them.

But such a line of thinking is appropriate not only in relation to love of life, but also regarding the acceptance of others. This means that in order to sincerely form a warm attitude towards people within yourself, you need to truly love all aspects of life. You should accept sleepy mornings, autumn rain and even an allergy to your favorite fruit - then you will be absolutely ready to let humanity into your life.

All love begins within

If you are in harmony with yourself, then it will not be difficult for you to love a loved one. Many people have the illusion that they live with family members, colleagues, friends, lovers and at the same time build relationships with them. In reality, they live and build relationships with themselves (“I was born,” “I got married,” and so on). But communication with others directly depends on self-assessment. Antoine de Saint-Exupery in his work “The Little Prince” cited a particularly truthful dialogue, which once again proves that the initial element in the life of every happy person is inner peace and harmony with oneself: “You are beautiful, but empty. I won’t want to die for your sake.”

Exactly! When a person develops and improves himself in every possible way, he begins to be proud of himself more and more. Thus, self-love grows in direct proportion to the enrichment of the inner world. Accordingly, the degree of love of life and humanity increases significantly, which is the ultimate goal of a person who has not yet accepted his environment.

Remaining yourself is the decision of happy people

It's no secret that a spontaneous person is the happiest person. After all, if you know how to remain yourself in any situation, then the loss of energy is completely irrelevant for you, because only “people in masks” who are embarrassed or afraid to show their real selves lose it.

It is necessary to remember that because of playing other people's roles, you can live a life that is not your own, and you will understand this only at the end of the road, when it is too late. This means that it is advisable to accept that you are different from others in any case. Trying to fix this is completely useless and even stupid, because you can use this chance wisely, and then endlessly enjoy life and yourself.

Each of you must realize that by loving a person’s soul, you will open doors to an unknown world of harmony and prosperity. Before entering them, you will definitely burn all masks and, with your head held high, take the first step into a new future, where you will fully enjoy your spontaneity and the mutual openness of others.

It happens that a woman meets a good man - caring, responsible and financially secure. He surrounds his chosen one with attention, behaves gallantly and looks with shining eyes, but does not evoke reciprocal feelings. The girl understands that she cannot find a better option, because it is time to start a family, and there are no other suitors on the horizon. But he can’t force himself to love. Advice from psychologists will help you understand how to fall in love with the person a girl is dating or who she likes as a friend.

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Love is a feeling that does not happen overnight. It is possible to examine a person only with time.

It is especially difficult for a girl who has never experienced sublime feelings to fall in love with a guy. If a girl grew up in a family in which parents are emotionally cold and do not indulge in affection, then it is difficult for her to adapt to the adult world and build the right relationship with a man. Women who are disappointed in past unions cannot fall in love either.

But there are other obstacles. It happens that a man is ideal for the role of a spouse, but the woman does not feel affection for him. Reasons why a fan might not like you:

  1. 1. The guy is unlikable because he is boring, not well-educated and well-read, or unattractive in appearance.
  2. 2. The woman does not have sexual desire. The partner is not active enough in bed or, on the contrary, is too assertive.
  3. 3. He has radically opposing interests. It is difficult for a woman who is accustomed to an active lifestyle to switch to the role of a housewife if her husband is a homebody.

Perhaps the reason lies in the girl herself. If she doesn't love herself, she doesn't know how to show tenderness to her partner. Moreover, self-dislike calls into question the feelings of another person. A traumatized person perceives love confessions as psychological violence. There is also the issue of trust. This is a challenge faced by women who have been humiliated or betrayed in the past.

You can't order your heart, but you can order your brain

To fall in love with a guy, you have to muffle your emotions and turn to reason. Love at first sight often leads to disappointment. If a man chooses with his eyes and then spends his whole life content with his decision, then a girl, having fallen in love with a young man for his appearance, risks being disappointed in her expectations. A woman comes up with an ideal for herself, but in reality the chosen one turns out to be a boor, an irresponsible person and a bad father.

If you decide to program yourself to love a specific person, then you will have to do a lot of work on yourself. Study your chosen one thoroughly and do not force events. A guy who is truly passionate will not rush his chosen one and demand love vows from her.

How to learn to control yourself:

  1. 1. Stop comparing your chosen one with other men if he looks unfavorable in this light. Look for only positive qualities in him. After all, the person you don’t love is special in some way. Perhaps he has brilliant talent or is fabulously rich.
  2. 2. Tell me girlfriends how wonderful he is. The word is material. Soon you yourself will believe in the exclusivity of the man who loves you. Introduce him to a lonely friend who will try to beat him off. The value of a young man in your eyes will increase dramatically.
  3. 3. The most attractive people seem to be those who are popular with society. Move only in circles where your chosen one is valued. If friends do not have the best opinion of your lover, then you will have to say goodbye to your company.
  4. 4. Find some zest in his appearance. A man may not be the standard of beauty. But dEven ugly people look brighter if they have charm and charisma. These qualities help you fall in love with a guy.
  5. 5. Take the initiative if the man you're sleeping with isn't that good in bed. Come up with new scenarios, buy erotic lingerie, change the environment. And don’t despair – sex, even with a loved one, eventually ceases to bring the same pleasure. Intimate relationships are also worth working on throughout your life. A partner who loves will definitely listen to your wishes.
  6. 6. Be together more often, it helps to get used to each other. But don't sit at home. Select a common hobby, even if you have different tastes. It's always easy to find something that both spouses like. This could be traveling, drawing or going bowling.

Think about what is more important to you in marriage - violent passions and clarification of relationships or peace of mind. Your spouse may seem boring, but in reality he is just a balanced, sensible person. Many women would be happy if they were you.

When should you not get into a relationship?

You can use willpower to force yourself to fall in love with a guy, but sometimes no amount of advice works. It is impossible to love a man who causes physical rejection. It will be extremely difficult to fight attacks of disgust. A girl may not be attracted to looks, but she should like a man's smell, gestures or gait. If a woman is very annoyed by the way he yawns or eats, then she will have to look for another person.

It happens like this: you stand in the subway and see around you only dull and gray faces with no light. They are boring, always dissatisfied with something and lack decorum. Yes, you can admire the amazing words of the Apostle Paul about love, but the very idea that you can love these people around you seems the height of absurdity. Or not?

Below me sit gloomy teenagers with loud gurgling music in their headphones and downcast eyes, decidedly not ready to give up their seats to anyone. A quiet alcoholic, falling asleep, is breathing fumes into the back of my head. A grandmother with a cart and bag pressed her fat belly against my right side. Where I am? Why do I need these people? I don't need them: it would be better if they didn't exist.

And then I - which has already become a habit - say to myself: “Stop! What I see now is simply a sign of my mental death and, perhaps, depression - and nothing more. Just a test of my current state." I feel sad about myself. Fortunately, experience says that such sensations pass.

And in fact, the same fat woman suddenly turns to me: “Son, can you help me pull out my purse? You see, the old woman is going to the cemetery to visit her husband.” Of course, I will be happy to help, no question! Turning around, I look for a moment into her eyes: they are worn by time, but beautiful and full of light. And I just went to hell - even before I died - and came back.

Love or death

People can be disgusting, and sometimes you don’t want to love them at all. At the same time, many of us feel that loving is better than hating or despising. But what can we do here - and should we do anything?

Someone will say: “I have my loved ones, good friends and interesting companies. But with cattle and bad or simply boring people, all I need to do is stay away from them.” A Christian cannot agree with this by definition. In the Christian tradition, love is valued too highly, so it turns out that if you don’t love (okay, let’s say “don’t try to love”) people, you can go and look for another, more comfortable faith. This is where the special distinctive mark of a Christian is, this is the most important criterion for a good-quality spiritual life, without which everything is emptiness and self-deception.

But is it really possible to just take it and “love”? The bar set is infinitely high, right down to love for enemies and those who hate us. Who, except for a select few, is capable of this? Perhaps these are just beautiful words, an unattainable ideal, which is given only so that I can look at it and better understand how bad and helpless I am?

Yes, this is a limitless and great goal, but no, this does not mean that I cannot take the first steps right now. Of course, almost all of us here are dummies in this regard. That said, here's my two cents on the topic. Between the hell of unlove and love there is a path along which you can and should move...

"Love is bad"

The most brilliant thing I heard on this topic was the words of one priest to the questioner: “There is only one way to learn to love - to start loving badly.” These words are simple to the point of primitiveness, but they have everything necessary and sufficient for beginners.

But first we need to remove one obstacle. Most modern people think of love as a special state that at the right moment falls (or does not fall) on you from the sky. And then you either “love” or “don’t love” - there is no third option. But this is simply a misunderstanding of a term that has acquired a million different meanings. I will not go deep into the definitions of love, suffice it to say that loving is, first of all, behavior and a conscious decision. This means that love is not static: it is not a ready-made state, but a path. And in order to get somewhere, you have to walk, and the first steps are clumsy and not at all like the love of saints.

It's not that complicated. If I decide to love a person, for starters, I don’t have to avoid him - at least physically be near him, not turn away from him and not sit away. Next, I have a thousand actions at my disposal. I can give him attention, I can shake his hand warmly, I can ask him about his life. I can call him or write to him by email and congratulate him, say, on his birthday. I can give him a gift or give him money if he needs it. I can - albeit badly - do good to him unilaterally, without expecting that he will warm to me or change for the better. The important thing is that this gradually changes me. The darkness of unlove seems to remain, but light appears in it, and over time I myself become brighter. This is what we are capable of doing - and in fact this is all we are capable of doing.

“But this is not love, this is just tedious execution of the law,” they will tell me. “What about feelings, and a heart that you can’t command?”

Naughty emotions

Indeed, no matter what we do, unruly emotions remain. Anger, contempt and disgust, resentment and bitterness - they cannot be abolished by an act of will. You can smile strainedly, give gifts insincerely, or say humble words (popular among Orthodox Christians) like “forgive me, a sinner” - but the poison of hatred remains in your heart. When, as a young man, I first heard advice to pray for my particular enemy, I vehemently protested: “I can’t do this sincerely! It will be a lie and hypocrisy, which will make me feel disgusted.”

In fact, although emotions are not love, they are important. To love without feelings really means to love “badly,” imperfectly, not to the fullest. And there is absolutely no need to deceive yourself or try to conjure up good feelings in your imagination.

However, there is a connection between actions and feelings. After all, more than a hundred years ago James and Lange formulated their famous law: emotions follow behavior. When I sit down at the same table with a suspicious stranger, my feelings towards him inevitably change. When I, overpowering myself, show interest in a boring person, he runs the risk of ceasing to be boring to me. If I begin, even though I am shaking with indignation, to pray for the enemy, I can, even for a split second, look at him from some other perspective. And it’s worth noting that this is not just a stupid “law” or following external rules. Not at all, the decision to love is also born inside, in the heart.

There, in the heart, a lot of garbage is born: if I try to be “sincere” and “myself” at every moment, I can become proud, envious, and petty. I would sometimes leave my wife, and sometimes I would return to her. And sometimes I want to beat or kill someone, especially someone close to me.

An honest attitude towards your emotions is necessary: ​​it allows you to see your inner darkness and not live in self-deception. Moreover: it helps to notice that we love our “loved ones” only sometimes - emotions are wave-like and changeable. We can only love them “badly” - but we see that there is room for growth.

Something else

To learn anything, you need strong motivation. Even if I want to master the Spanish language or learn to play the guitar, first I will need to regularly do not the most interesting things. Such efforts are rewarded, but not immediately. Our culture of instant decisions - "get everything you want right now, quickly and cheaply" - creates impatient people who are not willing to wait. If you can’t love, don’t worry, find more suitable people or take the “learn perfect love in two weekends” training. But, alas, learning to love is “long and expensive.”

This takes years of life, and it often does not bring spiritual reward, but only makes life more uncomfortable. When you “love badly,” it looks ridiculous and often causes ridicule and accusations of insincerity. One-sided openness makes a person more vulnerable and vulnerable. This is an agreement to endure pain and keep company with unpleasant people. Really, why do we need this? So as not to die before death: because the alternative - the hell of unlove - is even worse.

Act persistently and patiently, being aware of your emotions - this is enough for beginners who are ready to “love badly”. But I deliberately did not say anything about one more thing - because here I tried to stay closer to the ground, to psychology, to what you can touch. And this thing is extremely important. To put it briefly: the better the vertical relationships (with God), the more correct the horizontal ones (with people), and there is no escaping this law. Not at home, not among friends, not even when you’re just riding the subway.

Mikhail ZAVALOV

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