In countries where historically long and strong Christian traditions have developed, everyone knows that after death of a person The third day after the sad event, the ninth day and the fortieth day are of particular importance. Almost everyone knows, but many cannot say for what reasons these dates - 3 days, 9 days and 40 days - are so important. What happens, according to traditional ideas, to a person’s soul until the ninth day after his departure from earthly life?

Path of the soul

Christian ideas about the afterlife human soul may vary depending on a particular denomination. And if in the Orthodox and Catholic picture of the afterlife and the fate of the soul in it there are still few differences, then in various Protestant movements the range of opinions is very large - from almost complete identity with Catholicism to leaving far from tradition, up to complete denial of the existence of hell as places of eternal torment for the souls of sinners. Therefore, the Orthodox version of what happens to the soul in the first nine days after the beginning of another, afterlife, is more interesting.

Patristic tradition (that is, the recognized corpus of works of the Fathers of the Church) says that after the death of a person, for almost three days his soul has almost complete freedom. She not only has all the “baggage” from earthly life, that is, hopes, attachments, fullness of memory, fears, shame, the desire to complete some unfinished business, and so on, but she is also capable of being anywhere. It is generally accepted that on these three days the soul is either next to the body, or, if a person died away from home and family, next to his loved ones, or in those places that for some reason were especially dear or noteworthy for this person. On the third tribute, the soul loses complete freedom of its behavior and is taken by angels to Heaven to worship the Lord there. That is why on the third day, according to tradition, it is necessary to hold a memorial service and thus finally say goodbye to the soul of the deceased.

Having worshiped God, the soul goes on a kind of “tour” through paradise: it is shown the Kingdom of Heaven, it gets an idea of what paradise is, it sees the unity of righteous souls with the Lord, which is the goal of human existence, it meets the souls of saints, and the like. This “survey” journey of the soul through paradise lasts six days. And here, if you believe the Fathers of the Church, the first torment of the soul begins: seeing the heavenly pleasure of the saints, she understands that, due to her sins, she is unworthy to share their fate and is tormented by doubts and fear that she will not go to heaven. On the ninth day, the angels again take the soul to God so that it can glorify His Love for the saints, which it has just been able to observe in person.

What is important these days for the living?

However, according to the Orthodox worldview, one should not perceive the nine days after death as an exclusively otherworldly matter, which does not seem to concern the surviving relatives of the deceased. On the contrary, it is precisely forty days after the death of a person that for his family and friends is the time of greatest rapprochement between the earthly world and the Kingdom of Heaven. Because it is precisely during this period that the living can and must make every effort to contribute to the best possible fate of the soul of the deceased, that is, its salvation. To do this, you need to constantly pray, hoping for God’s mercy and forgiveness of your soul’s sins. This is important from the point of view of determining the fate of a person’s soul, that is, where it will await the Last Judgment, in heaven or hell. At the Last Judgment, the fate of each soul will be decided finally, so those of them who were placed in hell have hope that prayers for it will be heard, it will be forgiven (if they pray for a person, even though he committed many sins, which means there was something good in him) and will be awarded a place in heaven.

Ninth day after death of a person is in Orthodoxy, no matter how strange it may sound, almost festive. People believe that for the last six days the soul of the deceased has been in heaven, albeit as a guest, and can now adequately praise the Creator. Moreover, it is believed that if a person led a righteous life and gained the favor of the Lord with his good deeds, love for his neighbors and repentance for his own sins, then his posthumous fate can be decided after nine days. Therefore, on this day a person’s loved ones should, firstly, pray especially earnestly for his soul, and secondly, hold a memorial meal. Wake on the ninth day, from the point of view of tradition, they should be “uninvited” - that is, no one needs to be specially invited to them. Those who wish the soul of the deceased all the best should come without reminders themselves.

However, in reality, funerals are almost always invited in a special way, and if more people are expected than the home can accommodate, then they are held in restaurants or similar establishments. Wake on the ninth day, this is a calm remembrance of the deceased, which should not turn into either an ordinary party or mourning gatherings. It is noteworthy that the Christian concept of special significance Three, nine and forty days after the death of a person were adopted by modern occult teachings. But they gave these dates a different meaning: according to one version, the ninth day is designated by the fact that during this period the body supposedly decomposes; according to another, at this milestone, one of the bodies dies, after the physical, mental and astral, which can appear as a ghost. 40 days after death: the last milestone

In the Orthodox tradition, the third, ninth and fortieth days after the death of a person are specific value for his soul. But it is the fortieth day that has special meaning: for believers, this is the line that finally separates earthly life from eternal life. That's why 40 days after death, from a religious point of view, the date is even more tragic than the fact of physical death itself.

The struggle for the soul between hell and heaven

According to Orthodox ideas, which come from the holy cases described in the Lives, from the theological works of the Fathers of the Church and from canonical services, the human soul from the ninth to the fortieth days passes through a series of obstacles called aerial ordeals. From the moment of death until the third day, a person’s soul remains on earth and can be close to his loved ones or travel anywhere. From the third to the ninth days, she remains in paradise, where she is given the opportunity to appreciate the benefits that the Lord gives to souls in the Kingdom of Heaven as a reward for a righteous or holy life.

The ordeals begin on the ninth day and represent such obstacles in which nothing depends on the human soul itself. A person changes the ratio of his good and evil thoughts, words and actions only in earthly life; after death he is no longer able to add or subtract anything. Ordeals are, in fact, “judicial competitions” between representatives of hell (demons) and heaven (angels), which have an analogy in the debate between a prosecutor and a lawyer. There are twenty ordeals in total, and they represent one or another sinful passion to which all people are subject. During each of the ordeals, demons present a list of a person’s sins associated with a given passion, and angels announce a list of his good deeds. It is generally accepted that if the list of sins for each ordeal turns out to be more substantial than the list of good deeds, then the person’s soul goes to hell if, by God’s mercy, good deeds do not multiply. If there are more good deeds, the soul moves on to the next ordeal, as in the case if there are equal numbers of sins and good deeds.

The final decision of fate

The doctrine of aerial ordeals is not canonical, that is, it is not included in the main doctrinal code of Orthodoxy. However, the authority of patristic literature has led to the fact that for many centuries such ideas about the posthumous path of the soul are virtually the only ones within the framework of this religious denomination. Period from ninth to fortieth day after death a person is considered the most important, and the fortieth day itself is perhaps the most tragic date, even compared to death itself. The fact is that, according to Orthodox beliefs, on the fortieth day, after going through the ordeal and seeing all the horrors and torments that await sinners in hell, the soul of a person appears directly before God for the third time (the first time - on the third day, the second time - on the ninth day). And it is at this moment that the fate of the soul is decided - where it will remain until the Last Judgment, in hell or in the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is believed that by that time the soul had already passed all possible tests, which were supposed to determine whether a person could earthly life deserve salvation. The soul had already seen heaven and could feel how worthy or unworthy it was to share the fate of the righteous and saints. She has already gone through ordeals and understands how numerous and serious her sins are. By this point, she must completely repent and trust only in God's mercy. That is why the fortieth day after death is perceived by the Church and the loved ones of the deceased as a key milestone, after which the soul goes either to heaven or to hell. It is necessary to pray earnestly for the soul of the deceased, based on at least three motives. Firstly, prayer can influence the Lord’s decision regarding the fate of the soul: attention is drawn both to the very fact of the indifference of those close to a person, and to the possible intercession before God of the saints to whom they pray. Secondly, if a soul is nevertheless sent to hell, this does not mean final death for it: the fate of all people will be finally decided during the Last Judgment, which means there is still an opportunity to change the decision through prayers. Thirdly, if a person’s soul has found the Kingdom of Heaven, it is necessary to adequately thank God for the mercy He has shown.

No matter how sad it is, sooner or later we are faced with the death of loved ones. And this tragic moment would be good to know for 40 days at the wake, what the procedure is. Why is it important to commemorate on the forties?

Without delving too deeply into church details, we can simply say that forty days after death, the soul appears before the Almighty to “find out” where it will go to heaven or hell. And as a weighty argument in favor of the soul, how a person and his lifetime deeds are remembered by his family and friends.

Since the most important thing for the soul of the deceased is not the feast, but prayers, that is why on the fortieth day after the death of a person, visiting church is mandatory. There, close relatives in the church write a note asking them to pray for repose.

Important! In the church they order a liturgy for the repose of only the person who was Orthodox Christian, and baptized.

On the fortieth day, relatives, while in church, should pray for the forgiveness of all the sins of the deceased. In addition, they light candles for the repose. When leaving the church, it is advisable to give alms.

Visit to the cemetery

Even on the fortieth day after the death of a loved one, you must definitely visit the place of his burial. At the cemetery, it is customary to light a candle or lamp and pray. It is advisable that those closest to you be at the cemetery on this day, so that there is no noise or loud conversations. You should not take alcohol and snacks with you to remember the deceased.

Funeral dinner

A funeral meal or wake for 40 days, the procedure for carrying out is not particularly complex. The main thing is that everyone who wants to say goodbye to the deceased is invited. Usually these are close relatives, friends, good acquaintances and colleagues of the deceased.

At one time, no one was invited to the funeral; people themselves came to honor the memory and pay their respects to the relatives of the deceased. Then they set several tables so that no one would go hungry. Now the time is a little different and it is not customary to come to the table without an invitation.

What is served on the table

A memorial dinner on the fortieth day does not have to be luxurious. It is not customary to fill the table with delicacies. Dishes should be served simple, not fancy. At the same time, hot dishes are required. Spirits on funeral dinner The church is not welcoming. However, these days, fortieth celebrations are rarely complete without this. In this case, you should avoid sparkling wines. It is customary to serve vodka, cognac and red wine. But there should not be an excess of alcohol at the funeral table, so that the wake does not end with songs, and even more so, dancing.

Kutya or eve must be present on the table. This is a whole grain dish with raisins, honey and nuts. It is customary to serve borscht, cabbage soup, beetroot soup, chicken broth with noodles - the choice of dish depends on the locality. The funeral table usually includes porridge, meat and fish dishes. And also various snacks.

Important! It is believed that the number of dishes on the funeral table on the fortieth day after death should be even.
Before starting your meal, be sure to read the “Our Father” prayer. Then those present should remember the good deeds of the deceased. It talks about the positive role he played in someone's life. You cannot gossip and remember things that are displeasing to God.

It’s good if there is a “host” of the funeral dinner. This could be an invited outsider or one of the guests. Such a person is needed so that conversations do not go in unnecessary directions, and also to dispel sadness a little at the right time. Since it is customary to make speeches on 40th birthdays, the closest relatives make them first, and then everyone else.

There are also customs associated with setting the table for a funeral dinner. For example, they do not serve forks and knives - everyone eats with spoons, leaving an empty plate with cutlery for the deceased. In addition, the table for such a meal is not covered with a “cheerful” tablecloth, that is, it should be plain.

Fortieth day

Many people are interested in the question: it is mandatory to hold funeral services on the same day for 40 days after death, or it can be later. It is not advisable to celebrate the fortieth day earlier, as this is associated with the day when the soul will stand before the Judgment of God. Later, 40 days are celebrated if the commemoration falls on the Week, that is, the week preceding Easter or directly on Easter.

In this case, the commemoration is postponed to. Believers who fast postpone their funeral services to Saturday, Sunday and days when they are allowed to eat fish. In this case, there will be no meat dishes on the table.

And in conclusion:

What you can’t do until 40 days after the death of a relative is cry, moan and do everything you can to care for the deceased. It is believed that the soul will not find peace if it sees such suffering of its relatives.
On the 40th anniversary the deceased is always remembered. Of course, the meal is important, but we must not forget about prayer. Moreover, for 40 days after death, relatives must pray for the deceased daily.
When visiting a cemetery, food is not left at the grave for the deceased. It's better to give it to those in need.

Everyone would like to not know for as long as possible about what a 40-day commemoration is and about the procedure for carrying it out. But, unfortunately, no one is eternal. If you have doubts about the correctness of your actions in times of grief, it is better to turn to the church for advice.

40 days after death is important date. What does it mean and how correctly, according to Christian traditions, to remember the dead so that they find eternal peace and God's grace. This question is often heard from people who are far from Orthodox traditions, but if the family of the deceased wants to pay a debt of memory and respect to a relative, everything should be done correctly. Therefore, we will tell you how to remember for 40 days after the death of a loved one.

Christians should remember deceased friends and loved ones not only on days of mourning. True believers pray for the souls of their loved ones every minute. But there are dates when you must strictly follow the priest’s instructions. These are three, nine and forty days from the date of death.

The fortieth day is the most important for the soul of the deceased; she receives news of where she will await the Last Judgment.

But until this time, the soul is nearby, it is on earth: it sees everything, hears, and yearns. That is why you cannot indulge in grief for a long time, cry bitterly and ask the deceased to return. A person already suffers from the inability to change something, and grieving relatives bring even greater confusion.

A 40-day wake is an important and responsible event.

At this moment, Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased, set the table, remember the earthly affairs of the deceased, visit the cemetery, and light a candle in the church for the repose. Order a prayer service in memory of the newly deceased servant of God. These actions make it easier for the soul to transition to another world and help those who are grieving to endure a bitter loss.

How should a believer respond to the death of a loved one?

Our ancestors believed in afterlife, the entire earthly path was preparing for the transition to a new state. Modern Orthodox Christians and fellow Catholics also believe in the posthumous existence of the soul. After death, we no longer influence where the incorporeal shell will be assigned, but relatives and friends are obliged to sincerely and fervently ask for leniency in order to soften the Lord. Only faith, sacred words and warm memories can ease the fate of the newly deceased. Therefore, it is never too late to express grief and ask the Almighty for mercy. A man has died, but close relatives are asking for him.

Go to church, remember with a kind word someone who is dear to you.

Death is a stage life path. Sooner or later, the hour will come for everyone to die. After earthly existence there comes a period of retribution for what has been done. There is no need to be afraid of the end of life; one should be afraid of punishment for unrighteous deeds and deeds.

The meaning of date in Christianity

Burying a loved one is difficult. 40 days after death, what the date means and how to properly remember the deceased - these are the questions people ask when faced with death. How to express grief, organize a farewell and memorial service, what to serve. In difficult times, relatives get lost and don’t know how to behave properly.

There is no exact answer to the question of why exactly the fortieth day is taken as the key point of the soul’s farewell to the earth. But the Orthodox faith says that the power of prayer on this day can decide the fate of the soul going to heaven. This is the last chance given to influence the highest decision. That is why it is so important to observe the commemoration calendar.

The fortieth day is counted from the moment of death. It doesn't matter whether the sad event happened in the morning or in the evening. It is customary to count the ninth day in the same way. These dates in the Orthodox tradition are called days of remembrance. It is necessary to observe all rituals and traditions so that the soul of the deceased can feel at ease and at peace.

A Christian, a baptized person is remembered with prayer. It is said in church and at home. They hold a funeral dinner and distribute alms to those in need. A mournful meal may be organized outside the house where the deceased lived.

40 is a sacred number. We will find confirmation of this fact in the Bible. So, Moses led the people through the desert for 40 years; After forty days, Jesus ascended to heaven.

After death, the soul goes on a journey: for the first 9 days it worships the Creator. Then, the angels lead her through the afterlife, showing her Heaven and Hell. Finally, God pronounces a verdict regarding her continued existence. After making a decision, the soul goes to permanent rest. Where the Last Judgment and Resurrection awaits.

There are strict requirements for the mourning dinner.

No alcohol.
Appropriate clothing.
Prohibition of loud conversations and funny songs.
You should not take a wake as an occasion to meet with friends and talk about abstract topics. Find another place and time for socializing.
Those gathered at the table must adhere to the Orthodox faith. Only they can help the soul of the newly deceased.

Remember, a wake is not a gathering of old friends. You cannot turn a memorial into an ordinary feast, this is a sin.

You should pray for the deceased not only on mourning dates. You need to turn to the Lord with requests starting from the first minutes of death. This will make it easier for the soul to find peace.

Main dishes of the funeral table

The funeral meal is simple. The rules become stricter when she is in office. But even if there are no restrictions on this day, refuse meat food. Get ready Lenten dishes: vegetables, fish. You cannot donate fast food to the temple.

For the church table they bring products such as cereals, bread, vegetable oil. They bring milk and eggs. Candies are suitable to please children.

Obligatory dishes at a funeral meal.

Kutya
Fish (baked or boiled)
Pancakes
Vegetable salads
Olivier or vinaigrette with herring
Lenten cabbage rolls

Complete the list of dishes following the advice of your confessor. He will tell you what to cook for your farewell dinner.

Among the drinks, preference is given to jelly, kvass, and traditional dried fruit compote.

Important! Ignorant people leave vodka on the grave. The Orthodox Church categorically prohibits following barbaric customs. Water, not strong drinks, is poured into a cut glass that is placed near a photograph of the deceased house. Do not forget about traditions and stop attempts to mix pagan rituals with Orthodox canons.

Funeral words

To remember the deceased properly, you should say a few words about him. At a mourning dinner, it is considered the rule to make speeches. But it will be better if those gathered at the funeral feast honor the memory of their friend and relative with a minute of silence. A sad meeting at the funeral table is a time of remembrance: tell us what a wonderful person the deceased was, what he loved, what virtues he possessed. Tips for hosting an event:

The funeral speech is pronounced standing.
The host is chosen to be someone close to the family. He must be collected and keep the situation under control. Do not give in to emotions, be able to calm inconsolable relatives.
The ceremony director thinks through the speech in advance, prepares soothing phrases in case the words are interrupted due to sobs.

Speeches at funerals are always short, so that everyone has the opportunity to speak. It is important to remember that death is not forever. The soul of the deceased passed into a new state. Demise loved one This is a serious test, but try to distract yourself from sad thoughts and support your friends and relatives.

The Church does not set a strict time frame, but meets the parishioners halfway. The main thing is not to forget about the person: read a prayer, order a service, remember him in church. If the forties fall on a Sunday or Lent, then you can reschedule the funeral dinner and go to the cemetery. This rule also applies to the year from the date of death. It can also be celebrated earlier.

Significant dates memorial calendar– three, nine, forty days, anniversary of death.

Who should not be remembered

IN Christian tradition It is customary to remember only those who died from natural causes. Who else is not named in prayers:

Suicides
People who died or committed suicide while intoxicated or otherwise intoxicated
Apostates
Unbaptized
Atheists
Inovertsev

An exception is made only for those whose death occurred due to clouding of reason. People whose minds have been damaged by illness are not separated from church sacraments. They are buried, prayers are offered over the body, and they are remembered in the temple. This is due to the fact that the person who had gone crazy did not know what he was doing, which means there was no malicious intent.

Life is a great gift given by God. When a person neglects it, he is deprived of the right to church commemoration. Voluntary departure can only mean one thing - eternal torment and suffering of the soul.

They don’t light candles in churches for suicides, they don’t order memorial services. Relatives pray for them at home, privately. They give out alms and ask the Almighty for mercy towards the lost soul. People need to remember this whenever the thought of putting an end to suffering and troubles at once creeps into their minds.

Distribution of things and alms

An integral part of commemoration is the distribution of the deceased's belongings to charity. For 40 days, be sure to sort through what belonged to the deceased during his lifetime: distribute memorable, dear trinkets to friends and acquaintances - this is the right and Christian act. Take clean and unworn items to the temple and offer them to those who are poor. This is not just a ritual or sign, but an act of mercy and goodwill. It will be credited both to the one who does good and to the soul of the deceased in the next world.

Relatives leave things that remind them of their relative.

What prayer to read for 40 days

Prayers are read at home for the repose of the soul. It is not necessary to learn words by heart. The main thing is that they come from the heart. The clergy say that God hears us when we sincerely ask for help. They also say a prayer to Saint War:

O holy martyr Uare, the venerable one, we kindle with zeal for the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you suffered earnestly for Him, and now the Church honors you, as you are glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness towards Him, and now you stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember also our relatives' yearning, who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatrine, you freed the unfaithful race from eternal torment with your prayers , so remember those who were buried in opposition to God, who died unbaptized, striving to ask for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that we may all praise the Most Merciful Creator with one mouth and one heart forever and ever. Amen.

Whatever events happen in life, sad or joyful, people should remember that God is watching over them. Supports in difficult times, encourages, instructs, rejoices when life gets better. This statement is first of all worth remembering when death comes to the house. In the first minutes and hours, it is important not to lose heart, to help the disembodied essence of the deceased safely pass the tests on the way to Paradise.

Commemoration of the deceased is not a tribute to traditions or unquestioning observance of Christian customs. A prayer said without faith is a meaningless set of words. This is painstaking and difficult work that falls on the shoulders of those who remain on earth. Our task is to provide the soul with a comfortable transition to another world, to give the opportunity to rest in Christ, to atone for lifetime sins.

In Orthodoxy, the date 40 days after a person’s death is considered very important, as is 9 days. According to established Christian canons, it is on this day that the soul of a deceased person in the next world receives the final decision about where it will now go. But it is believed that if the soul of the deceased cannot change or correct anything, then relatives and friends will be able to help her with this.

Today we will tell you what happens on the 40th day, according to beliefs, with the soul and what relatives should do on this day - how to conduct a wake, what to cook and say and do when they commemorate the deceased.

Date meaning 40 days after a person's death

If you believe Orthodox traditions, the most significant dates for the relatives of the deceased are the third, 9 and 40 days after death, and they must spend them in accordance with all memorial canons. Moreover, the 40th day is the most significant, since, as already mentioned at the very beginning, this is the period when a person’s soul finally moves away from earthly life into eternity.

From a religious point of view, 40 days is a date more significant than even the physical death of a person. Now let's find out what happens to the soul of the deceased before and after the 40-day wake.

During our earthly life, the human soul is united with the body, but at the moment of death the soul leaves it. But the soul takes away many habits, passions, actions and everything else from life, including both negative and positive. After death, the soul receives either punishment or reward depending on how life was lived.

After death, the soul undergoes a serious test, since it is obliged to overcome a number of obstacles and account to God for everything it has done. Remember the following:

you need to understand that until the 40th day the soul of the deceased will continue to be in its habitat, since she will be in some confusion, since she does not yet know how to live without a physical shell;
shower slowly for about 3-4 days will begin to get used to the new physical state and will cease to be afraid of him, she will become detached from the body and is able to take so-called walks;
it is worth knowing that the relatives and friends of the deceased up to 40 days should not throw tantrums and suffer bitterly for him, since his spirit hears everything and experiences severe torment in connection with this. The best thing loved ones can do immediately after death is to read the Holy Scriptures.

Now let's look at what happens to the soul after forty days. After this date, the soul gets the opportunity to last time return to earth to visit the places that matter most to you. Many people who have lost loved ones often tell stories that it is on this day that they come to them in dreams or visions to finally say goodbye.

In addition, many people who before this period were aware that deceased relatives were somewhere nearby admitted that after 40 days their presence was no longer felt, they no longer heard their steps, smells or sighs.

What happens to the soul: it is directed to God in order to stand trial. But, according to beliefs, it is not God himself who judges her, but man will independently be responsible for what he has done in life. It is believed that after the soul is in front of the image of the Almighty, it receives two options - to reunite with His light or go into the abyss.

This or that decision about the movement of the soul is made not from willpower, but from how spiritual the person was and what his life was like.

If you believe the church canons, within forty days the soul awaits what decision will be made about its future fate, however, this trial will not be the last. After all, then she will await the next, final Last Judgment. On it, the destinies of many people will change greatly.

Funeral 40 days: procedure

Many people are often confused by the question How to correctly count 40 days after a person’s death. So, the calendar date of a person’s death is taken, and it is this that is considered the first day from the moment of death, even if it occurred in the evening. Accordingly, 9 or 40-1 days of death will be considered the ninth and fortieth, taking into account the day of death itself.

On the fortieth day after death, the soul returns to native home and stays there for about a day, and after the end of the wake she leaves forever. Among believers, it is believed that if a wake is not held on this day according to all the canons, the soul of the deceased will suffer forever. That is why it is very important to spend this date correctly.

The order of the funeral is as follows:

remember that the first thing to do is pray. You should pray not only during the funeral, but also on the previous days. Thanks to this, you will ease the fate of your loved one, thereby persuading Higher power change his mind about his soul better side and show mercy;
In order to save the soul of the deceased, you must at the same time renounce a certain sin. So, even if you sometimes drink alcohol or smoke, then to save your soul you should give up your harmful addiction for a while. If you do not smoke or drink, then for your own benefit, prayer and to console the soul of the deceased, at least give up watching TV or the Internet for a few days;
Very important point is also how exactly the funeral will be held. All those who gather at the funeral table must be Orthodox Christians. After all, if a person does not believe in God, then his presence will not be of help to the soul of the deceased;
you cannot take a 40-day wake as a reason to meet with old friends or relatives, because this is not a simple feast;
Orthodox Church strictly prohibits When holding a wake, have fun, drink alcohol or sing songs. You must be aware of this.

On this memorial date, it is recommended to prepare and serve the following dishes:

kutya (required);
rich pancakes;
sandwiches with fish, for example, with sprats;
vegetable-based salads;
beet salad with garlic;
vinaigrette with herring or Olivier;
cutlets baked with mushrooms and cheese;
stuffed peppers;
fish jelly;
lean cabbage rolls made from vegetables with mushrooms;
baked fish with vegetables and mayonnaise;
pies filled with fish, cabbage, rice and mushrooms, potatoes or apples.

bread kvass;
lemonade;
sbiten;
fruit drink;
raspberry, plum, currant, cherry, apple, oatmeal or cranberry jelly.

Alms for people at funerals in 40 days

According to Orthodox Christian traditions, when this date occurs after the moment of death of a person, his things definitely need to be sorted out and distributed to those who need it, and also ask these people to pray for the soul of the deceased.

This ritual is considered good deed, which is necessarily taken into account when deciding where the soul will live after death. Therefore, it is better to do just that, especially when there are a lot of things left.

Relatives can leave behind the deceased only those things that are of the greatest value as a memory of him. Some things can be given to close family and friends. Take the rest to the temple, but Throwing things away is strictly prohibited.

What to say at a wake at 40 days?

Quite often during the ritual, not only the deceased person is remembered, but also all the deceased relatives, while the deceased himself is presented as if he were sitting at the table with everyone.

The funeral speech must be said while standing; do not forget to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence. You can choose a funeral leader from among close family friends. He is obliged to control his emotions, despite the emotional severity of the situation. The presenter’s task will be that he will take turns giving the floor to the relatives of the deceased, depending on how close they were to him:

spouse;
children or parents;
close relatives or family friends.

The presenter must prepare several phrases in advance to defuse the situation and distract the guests when someone tears up while delivering a speech.

Commemoration for 40 days is very important both for the relatives of the deceased and for the peace of his soul. And it is very important to do everything correctly in accordance with established canons and Orthodox traditions.

Mikhail Bersenev

How to spend a 40-day funeral in a Christian way?

"Death is just the beginning!" - said Imhotep, a character in the Hollywood film “The Mummy” starring Brendan Fraser. The resurrected mummy of Imhotep died with a smile. This phrase introduced a certain touch of philosophy and fatalism into the frankly entertaining style of the film, which only benefited the film itself. "Death is just the beginning!"- a very life-affirming postulate. Although, not everyone believes that the last line there is something else in this life - THERE -.

Our country has transformed from a once pagan one into a predominantly Christian one with its own traditions. Even atheists, to one degree or another, try to observe them. Including saying goodbye to the dead.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, the living will someday say goodbye to each of us. Then, when we are already THERE. Fortieth day is a special, most important date in commemorating the dead in our Christian traditions. This date will be discussed, although along the way we will touch on some aspects of the commemoration on both the 3rd and 9th day. Yes, the topic is sad, but even in it some people find something comical, as will be indicated below. How to conduct a wake on the 40th day with dignity, in accordance with Christian tradition?

1. We mourn

I admit, once everything turned out a little differently than usual. The opposite of “mourn.” Let me explain. They invited me to the wake for 40 days. Everything went on orderly: mournful speeches were made, they drank, ate, and remembered good things about the deceased.

Picture: men and women with mournful faces are seated around a huge table. They speak in a half whisper, as if they are afraid to disturb the memory of the buried person. And in his behavior, as far as I remember, during his life there was a certain funny feature, and one of the young ladies at the table remembered it. I won’t go into detail about the essence of this feature, but somehow it turned out that I made an unexpected and really successful joke about the same feature. I won’t boast, but the joke came out sparkling and absolutely everyone just started laughing. It happens: you don’t expect it to turn out funny, but it turns out super funny, although you didn’t plan anything like that.

Here others began to recall incidents from the earthly life of the newly deceased, associated with his peculiar behavior. An unexpected stream of laughter, jokes, and fun finally poured out. That is, the wake turned, not without my participation, into a kind of “booth,” as I was later told. Yes, everyone laughed, and only after a considerable time many came to their senses and became quiet. I was “carried away” and soon guests from all sides began to “shush” me in my ears. Meaning: be quiet, that's enough. This is disrespect for the deceased.

Christian tradition says that at funerals we must still mourn those who have left us. Seriousness, grief, sadness - this is the kind of atmosphere that is actually appropriate for the forties. This is probably fair.

Although I once heard one cheerful psychologist reasoning. And he agreed that people are often so bored that even when a dead person in a coffin is lowered into the grave on straps, some of them are bored again. Especially those who in reality were only vaguely familiar with the deceased. Such people are even happy if someone makes a joke at the wake and relieves boredom. Perhaps even the dead man himself will be glad to hear the laughter of the living, if you believe in the transmigration of souls and ghosts. But this is just a personal opinion, and religious tradition says that sadness and sadness are the most acceptable atmosphere at a wake for 40 days.

2. How magnificent is it to organize a wake for 40 days?

Funeral services are made wide for 40 days. If at the gathering of guests on the 9th day it is customary to limit oneself to a fairly narrow circle of immediate relatives, then at the fortieth party one is allowed to invite everyone: relatives from the “seventh water on jelly” category, all sorts of “poor relatives”, colleagues in the service of the newly deceased, neighbors, childhood friends, and so on Further.

On the 40th day, according to Christian tradition, Angels carry the soul of the deceased directly to the Almighty for the final decision on where to send it. Therefore, it is not at all necessary to pour a glass of vodka to the top for the deceased. And it’s also not good for guests to keep adding more and more. If the soul of the deceased appears before the Almighty drunk, surrounded by drunken relatives, then he is unlikely to like it. For 40 days a modest table is appropriate. Without a battery of different-sized bottles of alcohol and a string of dishes like in the film “Ivan Vasilyevich changes his profession” (scene of the royal feast).

After all, the one who is being remembered no longer cares how plentiful the table will be. But guests can easily overdose on alcohol and remember old grievances. Especially relatives. A quarrel and shouting will begin. And then a fight is very likely. Participants will hit each other in the face, break chairs, and throw food at neighbors' faces. The result is police, grievances, and a poisoned atmosphere at the wake.

It will be much more pleasant for the deceased himself if his relatives and friends order a memorial service for him in God’s Temple. It is not necessary to go to the cemetery on this day, but if you feel like going there (I mean to the grave of the deceased to say goodbye), then you can go. Just take some kutya with you to put on a plate and leave it at the grave. In general, kutia must be on the table on the 40th day. It is believed that she gives eternal life. Of course, it’s not for everybody, but each of those invited can eat a teaspoon of it. It is only advisable to first sprinkle it with holy water, which should be taken from the church.

3. How long to remember

It happens that until the guests have eaten and drunk everything and quarreled, you won’t be able to send them out. Moreover, for 40 days the circle of guests is very wide. Many do not see each other for years, some relatives do not see each other for decades and meet only when someone has gone to another world. Here, as I have seen more than once, it is good when from the very beginning of the funeral a person is appointed to keep order. As a rule, it becomes the most respected, oldest member of the family. Or the deceased's spouse.

Such a person determines when the wake has clearly dragged on or has become a burden to people. According to my observations, the “moment of truth,” that is, when it’s time to go home, comes when everyone has already forgotten about the deceased and everyone is pushing his speech without listening to the interlocutor. And he adds everything to himself and others. Everything adds up. And if there is already a “showdown” in the cycle of who owes what to whom in connection with the death of a person, at what percentage, who is the guarantor, then the whole event must be curtailed immediately.

It’s good if the forties pass peacefully, with kind words and kind faces. It seems to me that both the deceased himself and the Almighty take into account how the most important commemoration took place - 40 days. Let everyone, both in this world and in the next, have a peaceful feeling from saying goodbye to the deceased on this day.

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