If parents have children in previous or subsequent marriages, they are considered half-siblings. The mother's husband, but not the father of her child, is the stepfather. The father's wife, but not the child's own mother - a stepmother. The step-son of a husband or wife during the next marriage of his parent (parent) is a stepson, and a step-daughter is a stepdaughter.
Russian folklore speaks unflatteringly about the stepmother: people did not believe that a woman could love someone else’s child as her own. It is no coincidence that the plant was named so: coltsfoot. Its leaves are smooth and cold on top, and warm and fluffy on the inside. They also say: “The other side is the stepmother.”
When adopted, a child was called an adopted child. The new parents - the named mother and the named father - considered the girl to be the named daughter, and the boy to be the named son.
The imprisoned mother and father became close, but not relatives - people who were invited to the wedding to replace their own mother and own father bride and groom.
And after a newborn appeared in the family, he might need a mother, a nurse, a milk mother. To feed it meant almost becoming related to the baby. Older children were assigned an uncle for care and supervision. Such a guy raised the cavalry maiden Shurochka Azarova in the film “The Hussar Ballad.”
Men could fraternize by exchanging body crosses and kissed three times. They became cross brothers. Fraternization was the result of great friendship or saving a life in battle. Girls' friendship, not related by kinship, was also secured by a peculiar ritual: the girls exchanged pectoral crosses. Then they called their friends that way - crusaders, brothers-in-arms, sworn sisters.
Spiritual kinship
Religious ties in families were strong and unostentatious. As required by the ritual, each little godson or goddaughter appeared Godfather And godmother. The godfather's father became a godfather, the son became a godbrother, and both godparents in relation to the godson's parents became godfathers: he is godfather, she is godfather. The godfather and godfather took upon themselves the responsibility of taking care of the religious education of their godson and in the event of the death of their parents, they took their place. Being a godfather to the first or second child in a family used to be considered a great honor.
They chose godfather and mother from close people: relatives or family friends. A pregnant woman was not called a godmother: it was believed that the godson would die. If newborns or young children died in families, the first person they met was taken as a godfather. Preference was given to godparents who had many godchildren alive.
An unmarried man, who was to become a godfather for the first time, chose a girl for baptism, unmarried girl- boy. It was believed that otherwise the girl risked remaining a century-old woman, and the guy a bachelor. There was a belief among the peasants that if the girl or guy who was invited to be godparents to the first child was older than the godson’s parents, then the girl would marry a widower, and the guy would marry a widow or woman older than him. Therefore, accordingly, they tried to make godmothers younger than their parents.
On Peter's Day (July 12), the godmother baked unleavened pies with cottage cheese for the godchildren. On Forgiveness Day (the last day before Great Lent), according to custom, the godfather went to the godfather with soap, and she went to him with gingerbread. According to the canons of Orthodoxy, godparents could not marry each other.
Dictionary of kinship relations
GRANDMOTHER, grandmother - mother of father or mother, wife of grandfather.
BROTHER - a son in relation to other children of the same parents.
BROTHER GODFATHER - son of the godfather.
Brother of the Cross, brother of the cross, brother named - persons who exchanged pectoral crosses.
BRO, bro, bro, bro, bro - cousin.
BROTANICH - brother's nephew.
BRO - wife cousin.
Bratanna is her brother's daughter, brother's niece.
Brother - a cousin or distant relative.
Bratova is her brother's wife.
Bratych is a brother's son, brother's nephew.
A widow is a woman who did not enter into a second marriage after the death of her husband.
A widower is a man who did not enter into a second marriage after the death of his wife.
A great aunt is a grandparent's sister (great aunt).
A great uncle is a brother of a grandfather or grandmother.
Branch - line of kinship.
Grandson - son of a son or daughter, sons of a nephew or niece.
A great-great-niece is the granddaughter of a first cousin.
Great-niece - granddaughter of a brother or sister (second cousin).
Grandchild, great-grandson - being a relative in the third generation, second cousin.
Great-siblings are second cousins.
A great-great-cousin is the grandson of a first cousin.
A great-nephew is a grandson of a brother or sister.
Great-great-second cousin - grandson of a second cousin (second cousin).
Granddaughter, grandson - the daughter of a son or daughter, nephew or niece.
A great-aunt is the sister of a grandmother or grandfather.
Great-great-grandmother is the sister of a great-grandmother or great-grandfather.
A great-great-great-grandmother is the sister of a great-great-grandmother or great-great-grandfather.
A great niece is the daughter of a first cousin.
Cousin - daughter of an uncle or aunt.
A great aunt is a cousin of one's father or mother.
Cousin - related in the second generation.
Cousin - son of an uncle or aunt.
A great-uncle is a brother of a grandfather or grandmother.
A great uncle is a cousin of one's father or mother.
A first cousin is the son of a first cousin.
A great-great-grandfather is the brother of a great-grandfather or great-grandmother.
A great-great-great-grandfather is the brother of a great-great-grandfather or great-great-grandmother.
Brother-in-law is the husband's brother.
Grandfather (grandfather) - the father of the father or mother.
The godfather is the godfather's father.
Grandfather, grandfather - uncle's aunt.
Dedich is the direct heir of his grandfather.
A daughter is a female person in relation to her parents.
The named daughter is an adopted child, a pupil.
Dsherich is his aunt's nephew.
Daughter's aunt's niece.
An uncle is a person caring for a child.
An uncle is the brother of the father or mother, as well as the husband of the aunt.
Half-blooded children (consanguineous) - children born from the same father (consanguineous father), but different mothers).
Single-uterine children (one-uterine) are children born by the same mother, but from different fathers.
Half-uterine - born of the same mother, but from a different father.
A wife is a woman in relation to the man with whom she is married.
Zhenima, zhenishka - unmarried fourth wife.
The groom is the one who has betrothed his bride.
Sister-in-law, sister-in-law, sister-in-law - the husband’s sister, sometimes the brother’s wife.
Son-in-law is the husband of a daughter, sister.
A knee is a branch of a clan, a generation in a genealogy.
A godmother is a participant in the baptismal ceremony in the role of a spiritual mother.
Godson - godson.
Goddaughter - goddaughter.
A godfather is a participant in the baptismal ceremony in the role of a spiritual father.
Consanguinity - descent from the same parents.
Blood - about kinship within the same family.
Cousin - cousin.
Cousin - cousin.
Godfather is the godfather in relation to the godson's parents and the godmother.
Kuma is the godmother in relation to the godson's parents and to the godfather.
Little aunt - sister of father or mother (cousin).
Little uncle - brother of father or mother.
A mother is a woman in relation to her children.
The godmother, the godmother, is the recipient of the baptismal ceremony.
Christ's.
After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather receives him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - receiver. Thus, he takes upon himself the responsibility for life to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.
During the Baptism of infants, the recipients recite (confess) the Creed in their place, pronounce vows and take care of teaching faith and morality to those received by them (;,).
The custom of having a recipient at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.
The presence of two receivers is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is tolerated.
In the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparents promise God to bring the baby to Him. It's important to remember this.
Who can be godfather
– The godfather (father) must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know and read it at Baptism, but also to spiritually educate the godson in the future, and daily prayer for him.
– The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.
– After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.
– Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
– The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
– A person should only have one godparent. According to , only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.
– Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.
– The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.
– Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter ().
It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.
According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.
Only Orthodox successors or successors have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes, confesses the symbol and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a non-believer can do"(Book on the positions of parish elders, 80).
In accordance with the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, so it is indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized in Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation in baptism as a recipient of a person.
The insane, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners and those who came to the temple in drunk. For example, those who, due to negligence, did not attend confession and Holy Communion long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).
Ancient Russia did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were mostly monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.
Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. To prevent violations existing rules Regarding the successors, the priest usually finds out in advance from the parents who they want to have as the successors for their children.
Prayers for godchildren
Prayer for children and godchildren, father
Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, with Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and of good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as You yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord, God of our fathers! Give to my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.
On raising children as good Christians: Parents' prayer to the Lord God
God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names) and godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we entrust to Your care and protection.
Put strong faith in them, teach them to revere You and deign them to deeply love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them mental and physical health and success in their work.
Deliver them from the cunning wiles of the devil, from numerous temptations, from evil passions and from all wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, lead them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, along with all the righteous, will always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.
Prayer to the Lord God, composed by the venerable
Lord, You are the only One who weighs everything, who is able to do everything, and who wants to save everyone and come to the mind of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me, a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given to me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in the ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, may they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, may always abide with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer may be their support, joy in sorrow and consolation of their life, and so that we, their parents, may be saved by their prayer.
May Your angels always protect them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then grant them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your ineffable mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them lead with them other Your chosen servants.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother, Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, as You are glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.
Does it really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible according to Article 211 of the Nomocanon?
Obstacles to marriage and adoption at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. With the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. pp. 49-51. Quote from there:
« At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which states the inadmissibility of marriage between recipients] has no practical significance and should be considered abolished... Since during baptism it is enough to have one recipient or one recipient, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the recipients to be in any spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other».
Prof. Pavlov, in his course on Church law, comments on the problem of spiritual kinship between the recipient and the recipient of one child and the marriage between them:
“...several rules of apocryphal origin and strange content (for example, rule 211, prohibiting a husband and wife from being the adoptive parents of the same baby, on pain of being separated from their marital cohabitation). Already in the first years of its existence, the Holy Synod began to regard such rules with great doubt and often made decisions directly contrary to them, especially in matters of marriage.”
In December 2017, at the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church a document was adopted which stated: “ Marriages between recipients can be performed with the blessing of the diocesan bishop (taking into account the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837)".
Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?
Pregnant and unmarried women Both boys and girls can be godparents; there are no canonical prohibitions against this. All prohibitions apply exclusively to dense folk superstitions and have no power for Christians.
At what age do you not need a godfather?
Persons over 14 years of age.
How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?
– You should try to bring such people to a meeting with the priest. The main thing here is to understand what is inside a person, why he refuses to baptize his child. If people are atheists, it can be difficult to convince them to give up their views. But it is still possible to convince of the need for a calm and loyal attitude towards the fact of a child’s baptism.
Who are godparents? The Holy Father will tell you who can and should not baptize your child.
At Baptism, a child becomes a Christian, a member of the Church, receives God's grace, and must remain with it all his life. And also receives for life godparents. Father Orest Demko knows what you need to know about godparents and take into account at every stage of life.
Who are godparents? What are they for in spiritual and everyday life?
For people, the outward manifestations of godfatherhood are usually obvious. Like, there is someone to visit, someone to treat the child well... This, of course, is not bad at all, but Baptism is a spiritual event, and not just an external ritual.And although this is a one-time event, it is a unique event, and godfatherhood is not a one-day event. Just as Baptism remains an indelible seal for a person, so, one might say, godfatherhood is not a worn-out sign for life.
What is godfatherhood?
In constant spiritual connection with his godson (goddaughter). Godparents are once and for all included in this significant event in the child’s life.Among Christians, one often hears the request: “Pray for me.” So godparents are those who always pray for the child, who will constantly keep him in their spiritual care before God. A child should always know that there is someone who supports him spiritually.
Thus, godparents can sometimes be quite far from their godchildren and see them infrequently. But their role is not to see each other periodically with a specific frequency; these are not gifts at least once a year. Their role is daily.
Sometimes the child’s parents may complain that godparents are not fulfilling their duties if they do not visit often enough. But, parents, take a closer look at your godfathers: perhaps they are praying to God every day for your child!
Relationships between godfathers
Whatever they are, what is more important is the relationship between the godparents and the child himself. Natural parents are also required to have correct expectations of godparents and their role in the child’s life. This should not be a material interest. And then, perhaps, a huge number of misunderstandings will disappear.But what to do if relations between godfathers go wrong?
First of all, you need to figure out why this happened. Or did the parents choose godfathers who do not have the correct understanding of their role? Or are these people who are already prone to destroying relationships and quarreling? Maintaining good friendship with godparents is what both relatives and godparents should try to do. Relatives must remember that their child is entitled to spiritual support from godparents. Therefore, if the natural parents do not allow godfathers to visit the child, this will mean robbing the child, taking away what belongs to him.Even if godmothers did not visit a child for 3 or 5 years, parents should not be prohibited from doing so in the future. Or maybe it is for the child that understanding or reconciliation will come.
The only reason to protect a child from godparents is objectively misbehavior godfathers, not the right way of life.
How to choose godfathers so as not to regret it later?
These should be the people that parents would like their child to be like. After all, a child can adopt their features, personal qualities. These are people for whom the child himself is not ashamed. And they themselves must also understand their role, to be conscious Christians.Usually godparents have less time for such preparations than natural parents. Their preparation will be to comprehend this change in their lives, to understand their responsibilities. Because this event is not just another living room and not even just a show of respect for them on the part of the baby’s parents.
Of course, the Church advises to begin confession before this event. Even if this confession does not become an instant conversion or noticeable sanctification for the godparents, a pure heart is the first gift from the godparents to the child. This is the very proof of their true openness.
What should godparents provide in the process of preparing for the Baptism of a child?
Sacrum. This is a simple white cloth that will symbolize the child’s “new clothes” - God’s grace.Cross. It’s hardly worth buying a gold one; your child won’t wear one like that in the first place. And, perhaps, until a fairly conscious age.
What if godparents don’t know the “I Believe” prayer by heart?
They say this prayer during the Holy Sacrament of Baptism after they renounce evil on behalf of the child and promise to serve God. It contains the whole essence of Christianity, and the godparents in it recognize their faith and seem to outline the path in which to lead the child. The godparents must say it out loud.But priests understand that godparents may not be too confident in knowing the prayer by heart. Firstly, this is prayer, and prayer books exist precisely so that one can read prayer from them. Secondly, godparents may be worried, confused or focused, for example, on the child himself, especially if he is crying. Therefore, the priest and clerk always recite this prayer quite loudly.
Is it possible to refuse when invited to be godparents?
Since becoming godparents is a set of new responsibilities, it is even a kind of change in a person’s status, this decision must be approached very responsibly. Conscious refusal will be better than not entirely voluntary acceptance of responsibilities. From the point of view of the Church, there is no such requirement to unconditionally accept the invitation of nepotism.The reasons for refusal may be different: those invited feel that their friendship with the child’s parents is not completely sincere and deep; or they already have a sufficient number of godchildren. If the relationship with parents is imperfect, this may cause misunderstandings in the future. Therefore, invitees should be given time to think.
Approach wisely when choosing godparents for your child - and she will be good mentors and friends for the subsequent stages of her spiritual life: getting used to going to church, first Confession in life, communion.