Who can get married in a Protestant church? Church wedding: why God's blessing is so important

Wedding plays a vital role in the life of representatives of the Catholic Church. This Christian rite has been known since the 4th century AD. The concepts of “marriage” and “wedding”, in contrast to the Orthodox tradition, are actually identical to the wedding ceremony, therefore, along with the high responsibility of those who decided to go through betrothal in the church, the preparation for the celebration is also very strict.

From the point of view of the Catholic Church, a sacrament is characterized by:

• holiness- connecting two people with God;
• unity- joining spouses into one;
• indissolubility- the eternity of the marriage union even in the afterlife; Divorce is possible in very rare cases.

Interesting! In Christianity, the family, that is, the church union of a man and a woman, is called the “small” or “domestic church.”

Terms and Conditions

To adequately prepare for the wedding ceremony, future spouses must meet several conditions:

• contact the clergyman of the parish where they intend to conduct the marriage ceremony 3 months before the wedding;
• be in an officially registered marriage;
• undergo special pre-marital preparation.

You need to know the basic prayers and rituals of the Catholic Church:

• "Our Father";
• "Symbol of faith";
• "To the Virgin Mary";
• gospel commandments;
• 6 truths of faith;
• 5 church commandments;
• "Angel of the Lord";
• Holy Rosary;
• order of baptism;
• church sacraments;
• preparing the home for the sacrament of the sick;
• 5 conditions for the sacrament of reconciliation.

Preparation

At the first meeting with the priest, the newlyweds (they are also called the betrothed) agree on the procedure for taking special pre-marital courses to get acquainted with the Catholic foundations of marriage, family, and the role of spouses in raising children.

Thus, the Catholic Church is categorically against the use of any contraception and considers it a great sin. Only the physiological method of planning the birth of a child is acceptable.

The need for active participation in the life of the church, observance of Christian commandments, and introducing children to the faith is discussed. Usually there are 10 such conversations.

Interesting! In the Catholic tradition, there is a custom, that is, young people notify their family and friends of their intention to marry.

The bride and groom must prepare and undergo the sacraments of confession and Eucharist (communion), which are preceded by fasting.

Betrothal of young people of different faiths

The most common situation is when both spouses belong to the Catholic Church. In this case, there are no canonical obstacles to marriage. But it happens that one of them is a representative of another religion. In this case, there are a number of peculiarities during a wedding.

Catholic and Orthodox or Protestant

If one of the betrothed belongs to another Christian denomination (Orthodoxy, Protestantism), then permission for such a marriage is given by the bishop of the corresponding diocese.

Important! Catholicism also recognizes as legal marriages performed in the Orthodox Church.

The newlyweds make a promise to raise their future children in the Catholic faith. Information about the married couple and the signatures of the spouses under such a promise are entered in a special form.

Wedding with an unbaptized person

If one of the spouses is unbaptized (atheist, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist), that is, does not belong to Christianity, then obtaining permission from the bishop becomes much more difficult.

There is no canonical ban on such marriage, but each case is considered individually. The clergyman talks with the newlyweds about the difference in cultures and the possible difficulties of such a union. The final decision rests with the bishop.

The right time

The sacrament of wedding according to the Catholic rite is performed almost all year round. The spouses themselves usually prefer to get married outside of fasting days, but there is no direct prohibition on this.

When getting married during Lent, you should not arrange a loud celebration after the ceremony with many and noisy feasts.

Prohibitions on weddings in churches

The performance of the sacrament of wedding is prohibited in the following cases:

1. those intending to enter into a church marriage are relatives (father and daughter, brother and sister) or half-brother and sister;
2. one of the possible spouses is already in a church marriage;
3. the physical impossibility of one of the spouses to perform marital duties, but infertility is not an obstacle to participation in the wedding;
4. the murder of a husband or wife by one of the spouses for the sake of entering into a new marriage;
5. the intended ones are cousins ​​(theoretically, such a union is possible with the permission of the bishop, but in practice it is issued in exceptional cases);
6. one of those wishing to marry is a clergyman or monk (nun).

Even if the wedding sacrament was performed, and the circumstances listed above later became clear, the ceremony is considered invalid.


From the point of view of the Catholic Church, marriage is indissoluble. A marital union can only be terminated by the death of one of the spouses. In the Catholic Church, unlike the Orthodox Church, there is no possibility of debunking. After a divorce (without a previous wedding), you must provide a certificate of divorce.

Documentation

To the first meeting with the clergyman before preparing for the ceremony, future spouses must bring the following documents:

• passport;
• baptismal certificate;
• Marriage certificate.

The last document that is issued after completion of preparation is a certificate of completion of special courses for newlyweds.

Ceremony in the church

There is no strictly regulated ritual order that is uniform for all dioceses. It may vary depending on the area and the priest who performs the wedding. However, a number of characteristic details still exist.

The ceremony is performed by a clergyman. In special cases, he can be replaced by a pious layman.

Start

Usually the wedding ceremony takes place in a church. Usually, the bride is brought to the altar by her father or another man who has taken upon himself the responsibility of caring for her(uncle, older brother). They are followed by little girls who scatter flower petals from a basket. At this time, the groom with witnesses and other guests is waiting for his future wife in the temple.

Less often, newlyweds enter the church together, holding hands. The bride is not required to wear a wedding dress, and the groom is not required to wear a suit. All that is required is the observance of neatness corresponding to the solemnity of the sacrament. At the altar, the betrothed stand or sit on special chairs with cushions.

Catholic tradition requires the participation of witnesses (up to three people on each side). Witnesses may belong to any Christian denomination. Bridesmaids often wear matching dresses. A special role is given to a little girl from among the guests, who is dressed up in a wedding dress. It symbolizes the purity, purity and spirituality of the future marriage union.

Liturgy

The wedding ceremony is preceded by a liturgy, after which the priest reads small fragments from the Bible and delivers a sermon on the importance of church marriage, the role of each spouse in the family, and the need for careful upbringing of children.

Then the couple getting married has a conversation with the clergyman, during which he asks the future spouses questions about the presence of any obstacles to getting married:

• Did you come to the temple voluntarily, and is your desire to enter into a legal marriage sincere and free?
• Are you ready to remain faithful to each other in sickness and in health, in happiness and in misfortune, until the end of your life?
• Do you intend to lovingly and gratefully accept the children God sends you and raise them according to the teachings of the church?

These questions make it possible to verify the sincere and free desire of the young people, their Christian view of the sacrament of wedding and family ties.

Vows and engagement

If the couple answered affirmatively to all questions, the priest asks the Holy Spirit to descend on the spouses. They offer each other their hands, which the priest ties together with a ribbon. Then the newlyweds, standing face to face, read their marital vows and take a vow of fidelity. The groom does this first, followed by the bride. They often complement them with their own words of love and gratitude to family and friends.

Interesting! Previously, in the Catholic Church there was a custom to decorate the temple gates with metal ringing objects to attract good luck to the future family.

After the oath, the groom's main witness hands him the wedding rings, the groom puts the ring on the bride's ring finger, and she puts the ring on the groom's. The priest says the Lord's Prayer, the Intercessory Prayer and blesses the newlyweds. Newly-made spouses sign in the church register.


Wedding rings are not a mandatory attribute of a wedding in Catholicism. If they are available, the clergyman conducts the consecration ceremony. Rings are an addition to the ceremony itself, which symbolize the fidelity of the newlyweds and their receipt of grace.

In most Catholic countries: France, Slovenia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Italy, Slovakia, the ring is traditionally worn on the ring finger of the left hand. A wedding ring is worn on the right hand in Poland, Austria, Spain, and Argentina.

The entire sacrament of wedding takes about half an hour.

Useful video

- one of the most beautiful, important and tender sacraments. To visualize the beauty of the Catholic rite, watch this short video:

Conclusion

The wedding ceremony occupies a special place in the life of Catholic believers, because it is held only once in a lifetime. Knowledge of all accepted traditions allows you to conduct this sacrament in accordance with the church canon and make it special. In Catholicism, it is also customary to solemnly celebrate the first anniversary of marriage. The spouses take part in the liturgy, celebrate the sacrament of the Eucharist and re-pronounce their vows.

The founding fathers of Protestantism began their activities by denying the symbolism of traditional churches: icons, sacraments, magnificent services and holidays. What is Protestant worship? Do Protestants now have sacraments, do they celebrate anything? Let's try to answer these questions.

From the editor: For a better understanding of the essence of Protestantism and numerous Protestant denominations, we recommend that you read the article

Divine service

What does Protestant worship consist of? From singing church hymns, praying together, reading the Holy Scriptures and preaching.

Are there any denominational specifics to worship services? Quakers have extremely simple worship. There are no hymns sung, no sermons read, no set prayers. Anyone who wants can speak based on their life experience. This is called “spoken service,” “verbal shepherding.”

Pentecostal worship is sometimes accompanied by glossolalia. In a number of American and Latin American charismatic communities, in connection with the doctrine of the spontaneous action of the Holy Spirit in the church, expressive manifestations are accepted during worship.

Elements of the Catholic service were preserved by Anglicans and Lutherans. Thus, during worship, parishioners sit on chairs or benches, rising (or sometimes kneeling) only during prayer or at the most important moments of the liturgy. Candles, incense, and the presence of an altar have been preserved.

Is Protestant worship regulated? Lutherans and Anglicans serve according to special missals; in the New Apostolic Church, the order of worship is determined by the highest church leadership. In all other denominations there is an established order of worship, the content of songs and sermons is determined by the leadership of the community. Quaker worship is fundamentally spontaneous.

Do Protestants have icons? In principle - no. But Lutherans and some other denominations allow the presence of paintings, frescoes and stained glass windows depicting biblical subjects in churches.

Is there music at Protestant worship services? Lutherans and Anglicans use an organ during services; the Amish do not allow music. All other churches use different musical instruments.

A number of evangelical and charismatic communities have adopted rock-style worship (sometimes even rap and metal).

Sacraments

Do Protestants have the concept of “sacrament”? There is, but it is understood more as a simply symbolic action. Quakers, the Salvation Army, and Unitarians do not have the concept of “sacrament,” and baptism and communion are not required.

How many sacraments do Protestants have? Seven are among the Anglicans; they recognize all the same sacraments as the Orthodox and Catholics (baptism, confirmation, repentance, communion, consecration of oil, the sacrament of marriage and priesthood). Three - in the New Apostolic Church (baptism, sealing with the Holy Spirit, communion). All other denominations recognize baptism and communion as sacraments (in some cases simply symbolic actions bequeathed by Christ), and other ceremonies as only rites.

Baptism

Who can Protestants baptize? A person who consciously professes faith in Christ or (in those churches where the baptism of children is recognized) children of believing parents.

Do Protestants baptize children? Anglicans, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Congregationalists, Reformed, Herrnhuters, Methodists and the New Apostolic Church practice infant baptism. Hutterites, Baptists, Dunkers, Adventists, Disciples of Christ (Church of Christ) and Pentecostals only accept adult baptism (usually 12–18 years of age, Hutterites 20–30 years of age). Children in these churches are usually blessed at birth by the pastor, attend worship services, but are not considered members of the church.

How do Protestants baptize? Lutherans, Anglicans, Presbyterians, Mennonites, Methodists recognize various forms of water baptism: in practice, they often use pouring, Methodists - sprinkling. In Baptistism, Evangelical Christianity, Adventism, Pentecostalism, the New Apostolic Church, and among the Disciples of Christ, baptism is performed exclusively by complete immersion. In dunkers, the person being baptized is immersed face first into the water three times.

Communion/Breadbreaking

What is the Protestant understanding of the Body and Blood of Christ? Lutherans and Herrnhuters believe in transubstantiation, i.e. in the real presence of the Body and Blood of Christ in the bread and wine, others reject this teaching, considering the bread and wine to be simply symbols.

Who is allowed to take communion? Adult community members only. Anglicans in some cases may allow children who have not been confirmed to receive communion.

How do Protestants celebrate communion? During the service, ministers distribute bread and wine (among Methodists, Adventists, Disciples of Christ, and in some charismatic communities, grape juice is used instead of wine).

Among the Amish and Dunkers, as well as in a number of Baptist, Adventist and Pentecostal communities, the ritual of washing the feet is performed before the breaking of bread as an element of the Last Supper.

Priesthood

How is the priesthood understood by Protestants? The main structural unit in Protestantism is the community, which is governed by a pastor and a congregation of believers. Church ministers are considered simple delegates of the community of believers; all believers are holders of the priesthood.

Is there a church hierarchy? Quakers fundamentally have no priesthood. The Salvation Army does not have clergy in the strict sense of the word, but there are ranks similar to the military: general (head of the Salvation Army), colonel, major, captain, lieutenant, staff sergeant, sergeant, soldier.

Presbyterians and Congregationalists have a fundamentally two-part structure (deacon and pastor/elder). Baptists, Methodists, Pentecostals have a formal tripartite structure, but the bishop is understood more as a senior pastor responsible for a particular region than a higher degree of priesthood; among the Disciples of Christ, the bishop is only the leader of a separate community. Among Lutherans, the number of hierarchical levels is not strictly regulated and depends on established traditions: for example, three-part (Episcopal) exists in Sweden, two-part in North America. Reformed, Anglicans, Herrnhuters, Amish, and Unitarians maintain a three-part hierarchy (deacon, priest/pastor, bishop).

The most extensive hierarchy is that of the New Apostolic Church, which, however, retains a three-part structure:

Apostolic rank: chief apostle (leader of the New Apostolic Church), district apostle and apostle;

Priestly rank: bishop, district elder, district evangelist,

pastor, community evangelist, priest;

Deacon's rank: deacon and junior deacon.

Who appoints Protestant clergy? Among Lutherans, Anglicans, Reformed Churches, and in the New Apostolic Church, clergy are ordained by higher authorities (in the Salvation Army they are awarded titles). For Presbyterians, Congregationalists, Hutterites, Amish, Disciples of Christ, they are ordained by the community that elected them; for all others, as a rule, there is a combination of the choice of the community and its approval through the ordination of higher clergy.

How do Protestants elect a clergyman? By appointment - for those where superiors ordain, election at a community meeting (and subsequent approval by superiors if there is such a requirement) - for everyone else. Among the Amish, Hutterites, and Herrnhuters, clergy are chosen by lot.

After appointment or election, a new clergyman is solemnly prayed for, usually with the laying on of hands. Among Anglicans, the priesthood is considered a sacrament (see above) and is performed according to a special rite.

Does a Protestant clergyman need special education? Among Anglicans, Lutherans, Presbyterians, and Adventists, a mandatory requirement for a pastor is to study at a seminary; in closed communities (Gernhuters, Hutterites, Dunkers, Amish), education is considered knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and experience in conducting congregational prayers; in all other denominations, theological education for a clergyman is desirable. In principle, the clergy of the New Apostolic Church (following the example of the early Church) do not receive theological education.

Do Protestant clergy have special vestments? Anglicans (especially in the so-called High Church) have vestments similar to Catholic ones. Among Lutherans, pastors wear a talar (black robe) or alba (white liturgical robe). In the Salvation Army, officers wear special service clothing that resembles a military uniform. In the New Apostolic Church, a black suit is required for clergy. All other Protestant denominations do not have special clothing. But many pastors wear a shirt with a collar (a special collar with a white stripe or insert).

Do Protestants recognize the female priesthood? By the beginning of the 21st century. Many Protestant churches have recognized the female priesthood: Anglicans, Unitarians, most communities of the Disciples of Christ, a number of Lutheran, Methodist and Pentecostal charismatic churches, some Presbyterian and Baptist associations. In the Salvation Army, officer positions are equally available to men and women. Among Seventh-day Adventists, a woman can be a deaconess. In Russia, only a number of charismatic churches have a female priesthood.

Rituals

Is there some kind of “consolidation” ritual after baptism, similar to confirmation? In some Protestant denominations, there is a rite of confirmation - a public profession of faith (in Lutheranism, Anglicanism and Reformedness after baptism, in Baptistism, Adventism and Pentecostalism - before baptism). Confirmation is carried out after catechesis and not before reaching the age of consciousness: at 13-14 years old for Lutherans, at 14-16 for Anglicans. For Lutherans and Anglicans it is organized by a pastor, for Anglicans it is organized by a bishop. In the New Apostolic Church there is “sealing with the Holy Spirit” (laying on of hands with the utterance of prayer and blessing), similar in meaning to the sacrament of confirmation, performed only by the apostle.

Do Protestants have confession? It exists in one form or another in many denominations, except churches of the Calvinist tradition. Mandatory among Herrnhuters (before communion).

What is confession? Telling your pastor or personal mentor about your sins. Methodists practice general confession before communion. The Amish only accept public confession in cases of serious sin.

Do Protestants have weddings? The blessing of the bride and groom is found in most Protestant denominations.

How is the wedding going? Anglicans and Lutherans have a special rite, which is conducted by the pastor in the church. In all other denominations, the location and form of the oath are arbitrary.

How are Protestant funerals conducted? Lutherans and Anglicans conduct funeral ceremonies, which are in many ways similar to the Catholic ones. Most Protestant denominations do not have specific ritual attire for the deceased, nor do they have specific funeral dates or funeral vigils. In the coffin, the deceased is placed on his back, with his hands joined on his chest. It is not customary to place symbolic or personal items in a coffin with the deceased. In many Western communities, cremation is permitted and practiced.

The funeral ceremony is conducted by the pastor, usually in a church building. The ritual symbolizes the transfer of the soul of the deceased to God, proclaiming the hope of an obligatory resurrection to those present alive. They don’t pray for peace.

Holidays

Do Protestants have holidays? Everyone has one, except Quakers and Seventh-day Adventists (they honor only the Sabbath; they can celebrate other holidays, but do not recognize them as obligatory).

What holidays do most Protestants celebrate? Christmas, Easter and Pentecost.

Are there specific Protestant holidays? The Anglicans have preserved almost all the holidays of the Catholic Church, including the days of veneration of saints, the Lutherans have the 1st Sunday of Advent, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, All Saints' Day (even though Lutherans do not recognize the veneration of saints), All Souls' Day. Lutherans since the 16th century. celebrate Reformation Day on October 31, and many other denominations celebrate it with them.

Lutherans and Baptists celebrate the Feast of Harvest (September-October). Baptists and the New Apostolic Church celebrate Thanksgiving. The Herrnhuters celebrate the founding day of their community on March 1, the day of community renewal on August 13, and the death day of Jan Hus, who is considered their founder, on July 6.

Representatives of the Reformed Evangelical Church of the canton of Vaud, who gathered for a Synod last weekend at the Rumina Palace in Lausanne, agreed on how same-sex couples should be married. The regulation was adopted by 55 votes, with seven abstentions and three against. According to the proposed procedure, the ceremony contains some elements of a traditional wedding. It includes a solemn service and a sermon. The priest will remind registered partners of the ties that bind them and pray for the new couple. In this case, the pastor may refuse to perform the ceremony for theological reasons.

Unlike the traditional wedding procedure, the ceremony for same-sex couples does not include a blessing. A press release from the Reformed Evangelical Church clarifies that "the clergyman assigned to officiate will be careful to avoid confusion with the symbols inherent in the wedding." The new rite will appear in the Protestant churches of the canton on January 1, 2014.

The Synod made a decision to study in more detail the issue of introducing a special liturgical act for same-sex couples in 2012. At the last meeting, the details of the new ceremony were determined. The Reformed Evangelical Church of the Canton of Vaud will thus become the first French-speaking church in Switzerland to offer such a service to registered partners. It was still possible for same-sex parishioners to celebrate their union in nine churches of the Confederation, including the parishes of Bern and Friborg. In Geneva and Neuchâtel, on the contrary, such a procedure is not provided.

The model adopted by the canton of Vaud is a registered partnership. Let us recall that registration of homosexual couples in Switzerland became possible in 2007 thanks to the entry into force of the Federal Law “On Registered Partnerships between Persons of the Same Sex” (LPart). During the period from 2007 to 2011, 511 couples were united in the canton of Vaud, two thirds of which were men.

According to the Tribune de Genève newspaper, many Genevan homosexual couples would like to receive parting words from a pastor at the beginning of their life together. It should be noted that back in 1992, the issue of marrying same-sex partners was raised at a meeting of the Protestant Church of Geneva (EPG). Thus, priests pondered the fate of homosexual couples long before legislation on registered partnerships was adopted in the canton (in the early 2000s). The issue was raised for the second time by the Protestant Church in 2006, but then the financial difficulties that EPG was experiencing at that time became a priority. Thus, for now, Geneva gays have to turn to other denominations for blessings - the Evangelical Lutheran (American or German) and Christian Catholic churches, which provide similar services to their parishioners.

It should be noted that not everyone liked the decision of the Reformed Evangelical Church. Thus, the newspaper "24Heures" reports on the feedback received from EERV parishioners after the decision was made by the Synod. Some Protestants in the canton feel betrayed and are threatening to leave the church. However, the president of the EERV Synodal Council, Esther Gaillard, believes that negative reactions would have followed if the opposite decision had been made. “The issue is really very sensitive,” she says, noting, however, that in this case the dissatisfaction is primarily expressed by representatives of the evangelical wing. However, the changes that are taking place indicate that the Reformed Evangelical Church is trying to keep up with the times.

We think that the attitude of the Russian Orthodox Church towards same-sex marriage is well known to our readers. According to the chairman of the Synodal Information Department V. Legoid, “Orthodox believers, representatives of other traditional religions of Russia, many non-religious people oppose the propaganda of same-sex relationships. They are supported by many Christians, Jews and Muslims in the West, and some world media stubbornly try to create a picture that distorts reality ".

Prepared based on website materials

), and it is customary for the priest to be from the white (non-monastic) clergy.

In the practice of the Orthodox Church, a wedding is usually performed after the betrothal ceremony; sometimes they can be separated by time.

Weddings are also permitted for those entering into a second marriage, but the rite of a second marriage is less solemn, with the reading of prayers of repentance. In special situations, a blessing may be given for a third marriage - but without a wedding.

In the Russian Orthodox Church on all occasions, during Easter week, on Christmastide, on the days before the twelve feasts and Sundays (i.e. on Saturday), as well as on the eve of Wednesday and Friday (i.e. on Tuesday and Thursday). Cm. .

For the wedding it is necessary

• preliminary interview with a priest;
• a wedding pair of icons - the Savior and the Mother of God.
• wedding candles - sold in the Church Shop;
• towel (wedding towel) - plain: white (for laying under your feet). Long enough for two people to stand on;
• wedding rings. According to the Church Charter, rings must be made of different metals: the groom’s ring is gold, the bride’s ring is silver (it is advisable to observe this).

Wedding cost

All church Sacraments cannot have a cost, but are performed for a donation. Many temples indicate the recommended size.

The bride and groom need

• confess on the eve of the wedding (preferably at the end of the evening service);
• come to the church on the wedding day at the beginning of the Divine Liturgy and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ;
• wear crosses (as always).

Requirements for witnesses

• in pre-revolutionary Russia, a church marriage had legal force, so the wedding was necessarily performed with guarantors - popularly they were called groomsmen or best men, and in liturgical books - heirs; the guarantors confirmed with their signatures the wedding act in the registry; they, as a rule, knew the bride and groom well and vouched for them;
• currently, the presence of witnesses is not a mandatory, but desirable condition for the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage; this is a tradition, not a canon: their presence is determined by the desire of the bride and groom;
• the modern role of witnesses is to spiritually support those entering into marriage with prayer and advice based on the experience of their godly Christian marriage;
• it is advisable to find witnesses who Orthodox and God-loving, which means they are churched;
• Divorced spouses or people living in a “civil” (not registered in the registry office) marriage cannot become guarantors for a wedding. The first, not retaining the grace they received in the Sacrament of Wedding and setting a bad example for the newlyweds, cannot be faithful mentors for the family being created. The latter, living in Russia, cannot begin the Church Sacraments at all until they stop their ungodly relationship.

Some features of the bride's clothing

• the bride must have a headdress covering her head (veil or scarf);
• shoulders must be covered (cape, scarf, veil);
• the dress is white. If people who have already been married for some time are getting married, or are getting remarried, then the bride is no longer required to wear a white dress;
• cosmetics - in minimal quantities.
• because If you also have to attend the Liturgy on the wedding day, then in total, in terms of time, it will take several hours. To keep you comfortable, consider wearing comfortable shoes.

Age of those getting married

• the lower age limit for performing the Sacrament of Wedding should be considered the onset of civil majority, when it is possible to conclude a marriage in the registry office;
• Church marriage law also sets the highest limit for marriage: for women - 60 years, for men - 70 years. This rule does not apply to those already married.

Obstacles to marriage

• Before the wedding, the bride and groom must register their marriage at the registry office. Lawless cohabitation cannot be sanctified;
• The bride and groom cannot be: related by blood(up to the fourth degree of relationship, for example, with a second cousin); in spiritual kinship(if those wishing to marry are godparents of the same person or wish to marry a godson).
• A marriage cannot be concluded if at least one of the two persons wishing to marry has not reached marriageable age.

The Church does not sanctify a union between or with...

• Gentiles– representatives of non-Christian religions (for example, Muslims). A non-Christian cannot participate in Orthodox sacrament what a wedding is.
• unbaptized;
• atheists, even if baptized;
• people who are members of blood And spiritual kinship;
• people, whose officially confirmed mental illness deprives them of the opportunity to freely and consciously express their will.
• In special cases, an exception may be made for religiously mixed marriages. Only the ruling bishop can give a blessing for this;
• Orthodox Christians, with permission, can marry heterodox(with Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Armenian Gregorians) provided that their children are baptized and raised in Orthodoxy.

Marriage to a clergyman

• if your chosen one is a person who has decided to become a priest, then your marriage is possible only until the moment the ordination of your fiancé, i.e. before he takes holy orders;
• you cannot marry a monk or nun because of their vows to God.

Behavior in the Temple during the Sacrament of Marriage

• The Sacrament of Wedding is not just a ritual, it is a prayer; treat with attention and reverence the prayers that are pronounced by the priest: during the entire Sacrament, almost no one else is prayed for, just for the bride and groom (and one prayer “for the parents who raised them);
• everyone present at the wedding, to the best of their ability (with prayers, their words and thoughts), should pray for those two who are getting married;
• If possible, refrain from unnecessary conversations.

Tradition of parental blessing

• the groom and his parents come to the house of the bride’s parents and ask them for their daughter’s hand in marriage;
• upon consent to marriage, parents on both sides bless the newlyweds for a family union: the groom with the icon of Christ the Savior, the girl with the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos;
• the young make the sign of the cross and kiss the holy images;
• handing over icons, parents say that the time of raising children is over for them and with faith and hope they entrust their children to the all-powerful intercession of the Lord and Mother of God;
• icons, after the Wedding, are placed in the red corner, in the house where the bride and groom will live - these are the first icons of their family iconostasis.
• If one of the parents is not alive, then the survivor blesses;
• If parents are against marriage and do not want to give blessings, then you should contact your confessor and ask his advice on how valid the parents’ opinion is, is it based on selfishness or life experience and prudence.

Why do people get married on fasting days: Wednesday and Friday?

• The wedding is followed by the wedding night. If you get married on Tuesday or Thursday, then the wedding night falls during the one-day fasts of Wednesday and Friday, which is unacceptable.
• When getting married on Wednesday/Friday, the wedding night occurs during the period when the fasting period has ended (Wednesday evening and Friday evening).

Brief description of Engagement

• The Betrothal Rite (precedes the Sacrament of Wedding) - seals the mutual promises of those entering into Marriage and marks the fact that Marriage takes place before the face of God, in His presence, according to His all-good Providence and discretion.
• The ritual begins with censing. The priest blesses the groom three times, who makes the sign of the cross each time, then the bride, saying: “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” and gives them lighted candles. Candles symbolize pure and fiery love, the chastity of the bride and groom and the grace of God.
• Prayers are said praising the Lord; prayers for those getting married on behalf of all those present in the Temple. Then, at the command of the priest, all those present bow their heads before the Lord, expecting spiritual blessing from him. The priest secretly reads a prayer, after which he puts a ring on the groom, making the sign of the cross three times, and on the bride. After the blessing, the couple exchange rings three times in honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity, which accomplishes and confirms everything.
• A prayer is said to the Lord that He Himself will bless and approve the Betrothal and send a Guardian Angel to the bride and groom in their new life.

Brief description of the wedding

• Following the priest with the censer, the bride and groom with lighted candles enter the middle of the temple. The choir greets them with singing, glorifying their God-blessed marriage.
• In front of the lectern (on which lie the cross, the Gospel and the crowns) a white cloth is spread on the floor. Those getting married stand on it. The priest asks questions to the groom (then the bride) - whether they confirm a free and relaxed desire to get married and the absence in the past of each of them of a promise to a third party to marry him.
• The priest proclaims the blessing, then the litany is pronounced.
• This is followed by three prayers in which the priest asks the Lord to bless this marriage and give children.
• At the end of the prayers, the priest marks the groom with a crown, gives him to kiss the image of the Savior attached to the front of the crown and says: “The servant of God is getting married...”. The image of the Blessed Virgin Mary is attached to the bride's crown.
• The newlyweds, adorned with crowns, stand before the face of God, awaiting God's blessing. Proclamation: " Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor!” is pronounced by the priest three times with a triple blessing of the bride and groom.
• If possible, guests silently help the priest, repeating: “Lord our God! Crown them with glory and honor!”
• Then the Epistle to the Ephesians () is read, in which the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church.
• The Gospel of John () is read about God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification.
• The litany is pronounced.
• After the proclamation: “And grant us, O Master, to dare to call upon You with boldness and without condemnation...” all those present at the Sacrament sing “Our Father.” As a sign of submission and devotion to the Lord, the bride and groom bow their heads under the crowns.
• The cup of communion (with red wine) is brought and the priest blesses it for mutual communion between husband and wife. They take a sip of the common wine three times, after which the priest connects the husband’s right hand with the wife’s right hand, covers their hands with stole and places his hand on top of it, signifying that the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever.
• Signaling the marriage as an eternal procession hand in hand, the priest leads the newlyweds around the lectern three times with the singing of troparions: “Isaiah, rejoice...”, “Holy martyr” and “Glory to you, Christ God, praise of the apostles...”. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses and addresses them with welcoming words.
• What follows is a prayer to the Lord for the reception of the newlyweds’ crowns undefiled and undefiled in the Kingdom of God. The second prayer (with the newlyweds bowing their heads) - these same petitions are sealed with the name of the Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing.
• The chaste kiss of the newlyweds is evidence of holy and pure love for each other.
• Now the newlyweds are led to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride kisses the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied to the icons again. Here the priest gives them a cross to kiss and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.

Pseudo-church superstitions associated with weddings

• younger brothers/sisters cannot marry earlier than older ones;
• you cannot get married while pregnant;
• You cannot get married or get married on a leap year;
• a fallen ring or an extinguished wedding candle - portends all sorts of troubles, a difficult life in marriage or the early death of one of the spouses;
• the one of the couple who first steps onto the spread towel will dominate the family all his life;
• the one whose candle turns out to be shorter after the sacrament will die earlier;
• You can’t get married in May, “you’ll suffer for the rest of your life.”

How can you get debunked?

• The dissolution of a God-blessed Marriage is a great sin, therefore there is no such thing as "debunking" does not exist. It is impossible to bless sin; the Savior Himself commanded: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder ().
• If the first marriage actually broke up, then the innocent party may be given a blessing for the second marriage, and, as a last resort, for the third, but no more. A blessing can only be given by a diocesan priest, but not by a priest.

A woman in the vestments of a priest, and even in the position of a shepherd - you won’t see this in our country. The first woman to be ordained as a priest was the Danish Flowerns Lee. This happened in 1948. It was Denmark that became the country that opened up such an opportunity for women. Since then, this practice has become quite widespread in European countries, but for me it was a very unusual experience, instead of a portly priest, to see a smiling, pleasant woman at the altar.

I happened to attend a wedding in a Protestant church at my sister’s wedding. She and her fiancé are Russian Germans and profess Protestantism. I am far from a religion and may be wrong in the exact indication, but as far as I know this denomination is called the Evangelical Church of Germany. The sacrament of wedding was performed for them by a female shepherd.

The ceremony itself is very different from the Orthodox one and it was very interesting for me to follow all its stages. Although, as my sister’s friends told me, it was in her case that the ceremony was very different from the traditional one.

Will the bride run away?

We all know from cult English films this favorite part of the high society party in London - the gathering of guests in front of the church. Romantic Hugh Grant and the ladies' frilly hats in the famous "4 Weddings and a Funeral." This is indeed one of the favorite reasons for Europeans to go out.

According to the classic scenario, the groom should expect his beloved with guests, and the bride should be brought by her father in a car. But my sister (she is my step-parent) no longer has living parents, so the young couple arrived together and immediately spoke with the priest.

Again, traditionally the priest and groom would wait for the bride at the altar. This is one of the most dramatic moments in the wedding procedure: the father of the bride leads his daughter along the red carpet,and she is thinking whether to run away or not to run away))But due to the absence of the father, the script had to be replayed. Apparently this was precisely the moment that the young people discussed with the pastor.

The very atmosphere of this entire event seemed to me devoid of the tension that is characteristic of a wedding in our Orthodox tradition. It is somehow more secular, light, more like a meeting of friends on a special occasion. Fewer conventions, flexibility in everything, any part of the process can be changed for the convenience of the participants. One feels that this is not the oppression of a sacred duty, but the joy of communion with the high. There is a fine line, I don’t know if they will understand me, but it is there, and I liked the simplicity and unobtrusiveness of all the rituals.

The entire service was held in German, so I had no opportunity to follow the narrative, but they explained to me that the priest should ask if anyone present had any objections to this marriage, or perhaps someone knew of any that is the reason why it is impossible. Everyone takes this point very seriously; this is not just a reason for a script move in a Hollywood comedy. It’s good that no one came up with anything like that and the ceremony was successful.

From this moment on, the couple is considered husband and wife.

The next point of the ceremony was congratulations to friends and relatives. They sang psalms. A very touching tradition and a must-have item in any Protestant wedding. We only sang, but I was told that this part is also organized by each couple in their own way, they can play spiritual music, arrange a small banquet (without strong alcohol).

But the part of the ceremony outside the prim church was already full of fun in a completely Russian spirit and style.

This wedding seemed very sincere and happy to me... of course, all the newlyweds are happy, but not everyone has the opportunity to live this day in true peace and without stress. I can’t count how many brides in my life I’ve seen on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

In Germany, no one brings themselves to this point, although I wouldn’t call their wedding boring. Some kind of balance is maintained between the mandatory and the convenient. What was also striking was the participation of relatives, without whims, sorting out relationships and defending the rights to greater attention to this or that family. Everyone did everything they could to create an unforgettable holiday for the young people and have a good time themselves.

What about a female priest? In my opinion, she was the height of professionalism, gentleness and goodwill. I realized that my sister made a wise decision, entrusting her with the most important sacrament of her life.

Could you entrust your wedding to a female clergyman if the Orthodox Church allowed such a possibility?

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