As you know, when accepting Christianity, a person goes through a wonderful ritual -. According to tradition, godmother and father, or one of them, are required for baptism.
What should godparents be like?
The very first sacred act in a person's life is baptism. Godparents are the most important people after parents who should assist in the spiritual upbringing of the child, become support and support. In fact, they are family members. Their responsibilities are not limited to giving gifts and maintaining communication with his family. Their main function is the spiritual development of the godson, initiation into the faith and church.
When choosing godparents, you need to remember that the baptism ceremony is carried out once and the child cannot be baptized, therefore, it will not be possible to change godparents. The Church makes an exception only if the godfather has changed his faith or leads a blatantly immoral, unpious lifestyle.
A child may have both godparents or only one, but in this case he must be of the same gender as the godson.
Becoming a godparent for several children is allowed, but the godparent must evaluate his strength, whether he can cope with his main responsibility, whether he has enough time and attention to raise all of his children accordingly.
Who is prohibited from becoming a godfather according to the canons of the Orthodox Church
People who have taken monastic vows cannot become godparents. There are also restrictions for godparents. The boy must be 15 years old at the time of accepting the duties of godfather, the girl who has decided to be the mother must be 13 years old. Parents, relatives or adoptive parents cannot become godparents for a child. There is a ban on intimate relationships between godparents, so spouses or people planning to get married should not become godparents of the same child.
Since godparents must initiate the godson into the church, they must be baptized. Unbelievers and unbaptized people cannot become .
Non-Orthodox and non-Orthodox people are also prohibited from becoming godparents. An exception can only be if there are no Orthodox Christians in the environment, but a person of a different faith wants, and there is no doubt about his ability to raise a child as a highly moral and spiritually developed person.
It is unacceptable to take mentally ill people and morally fallen people as godparents.
IN various sources An esoteric and near-religious orientation can be found in a number of other prohibitions. However, it is worth remembering that baptism is a rite subject to the laws Orthodox faith, and church ministers and people of true believers know best about it. However, only parents can decide what information to rely on.
Who are godparents? The Holy Father will tell you who can and should not baptize your child.
At Baptism, a child becomes a Christian, a member of the Church, receives God's grace, and must remain with it all his life. He also receives godparents for life. Father Orest Demko knows what you need to know about godparents and take into account at every stage of life.
Who are godparents? What are they for in spiritual and everyday life?
For people, the outward manifestations of godfatherhood are usually obvious. Like, there is someone to visit, someone to treat the child well... This, of course, is not bad at all, but Baptism is a spiritual event, and not just an external ritual.And although this is a one-time event, it is a unique event, and godfatherhood is not a one-day event. Just as Baptism remains an indelible seal for a person, so, one might say, godfatherhood is not a worn-out sign for life.
What is godfatherhood?
In constant spiritual connection with his godson (goddaughter). Godparents are once and for all included in this significant event in the child’s life.Among Christians, one often hears the request: “Pray for me.” So godparents are those who always pray for the child, who will constantly keep him in their spiritual care before God. A child should always know that there is someone who supports him spiritually.
Thus, godparents can sometimes be quite far from their godchildren and see them infrequently. But their role is not to see each other periodically with a specific frequency; these are not gifts at least once a year. Their role is daily.
Sometimes the child’s parents may complain that godparents are not fulfilling their duties if they do not visit often enough. But, parents, take a closer look at your godfathers: perhaps they are praying to God every day for your child!
Relationships between godfathers
Whatever they are, what is more important is the relationship between the godparents and the child himself. Natural parents are also required to have correct expectations of godparents and their role in the child’s life. This should not be a material interest. And then, perhaps, a huge number of misunderstandings will disappear.But what to do if relations between godfathers go wrong?
First of all, you need to figure out why this happened. Or did the parents choose godfathers who do not have the correct understanding of their role? Or are these people who are already prone to destroying relationships and quarreling? Maintaining good friendship with godparents is what both relatives and godparents should try to do. Relatives must remember that their child is entitled to spiritual support from godparents. Therefore, if the natural parents do not allow godfathers to visit the child, this will mean robbing the child, taking away what belongs to him.Even if godmothers did not visit a child for 3 or 5 years, parents should not be prohibited from doing so in the future. Or maybe it is for the child that understanding or reconciliation will come.
The only reason to protect a child from godparents is objectively misbehavior godfathers, not the right way of life.
How to choose godfathers so as not to regret it later?
These should be the people that parents would like their child to be like. After all, a child can adopt their features, personal qualities. These are people for whom the child himself is not ashamed. And they themselves must also understand their role, to be conscious Christians.Usually godparents have less time for such preparations than natural parents. Their preparation will be to comprehend this change in their lives, to understand their responsibilities. Because this event is not just another living room and not even just a show of respect for them on the part of the baby’s parents.
Of course, the Church advises to begin confession before this event. Even if this confession does not become an instant conversion or noticeable sanctification for the godparents, a pure heart is the first gift from the godparents to the child. This is the very proof of their true openness.
What should godparents provide in the process of preparing for the Baptism of a child?
Sacrum. This is a simple white cloth that will symbolize the child’s “new clothes” - God’s grace.Cross. It’s hardly worth buying a gold one; your child won’t wear one like that in the first place. And, perhaps, until a fairly conscious age.
What if godparents don’t know the “I Believe” prayer by heart?
They say this prayer during the Holy Sacrament of Baptism after they renounce evil on behalf of the child and promise to serve God. It contains the whole essence of Christianity, and the godparents in it recognize their faith and seem to outline the path in which to lead the child. The godparents must say it out loud.But priests understand that godparents may not be too confident in knowing the prayer by heart. Firstly, this is prayer, and prayer books exist precisely so that one can read prayer from them. Secondly, godparents may be worried, confused or focused, for example, on the child himself, especially if he is crying. Therefore, the priest and clerk always recite this prayer quite loudly.
Is it possible to refuse when invited to be godparents?
Since becoming godparents is a set of new responsibilities, it is even a kind of change in a person’s status, this decision must be approached very responsibly. Conscious refusal will be better than not entirely voluntary acceptance of responsibilities. From the point of view of the Church, there is no such requirement to unconditionally accept the invitation of nepotism.The reasons for refusal may be different: those invited feel that their friendship with the child’s parents is not completely sincere and deep; or they already have a sufficient number of godchildren. If the relationship with parents is imperfect, this may cause misunderstandings in the future. Therefore, invitees should be given time to think.
Approach wisely when choosing godparents for your child - and she will be good mentors and friends for the subsequent stages of her spiritual life: getting used to going to church, first Confession in life, communion.
It is one of the most important in the days preceding the performance of this great sacrament. The path of spiritual growth that he has to go through largely depends on how successful the choice of the child’s parents is. Therefore, we will try to fully understand this issue and, if possible, avoid mistakes.
When should a baby be baptized?
The first and most important event in the life of a newborn is the rite of holy baptism. There is no strict rule regarding how many days after the baby is born it should be done. established rule. But taking into account the spiritual significance of the sacrament, it is recommended not to postpone it for a long time without serious reasons, and to try to have the sacrament performed in the first year of the child’s life.
Both in the process of performing the ritual and in the further spiritual life of the newly baptized important role played by the godparents assigned to him, who take upon themselves the responsibility of raising him in the spirit of Orthodoxy. That is why important The question arises of how to choose godparents for a child, so that in the future they can fully fulfill the mission entrusted to them.
Who can't be one of the godparents?
It should be noted that there are certain restrictions when appointing godparents. First of all, the parents of the child themselves and, in addition, persons who are related, cannot play this role. Also, church rules prohibit entrusting this to people who are married to each other or intend to enter into it after some time. The reason here is quite obvious. - these are people who are in a spiritual relationship, and physical intimacy between them is unacceptable.
Continuing the conversation about how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to emphasize that they cannot be various kinds people of other faiths, including even Christians of other denominations (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, etc.). And, of course, this should not be trusted to people who are not believers at all or who declare their faith, but are not baptized and do not attend church.
As for the age restrictions imposed on possible candidates, girls can be godparents from the age of thirteen, and boys from the age of fifteen. It is believed that, subject to correct and proper religious education at this age, they are already able to understand the responsibility entrusted to them and, over time, become their godson.
And finally, from the number of possible candidates, persons suffering from mental illness should be excluded, since they cannot be held responsible for their actions, and those who lead an immoral (from the church and universal point of view) lifestyle. Monks and nuns also cannot be godparents.
Who should you choose?
However, the question of how godparents are chosen for a child is not limited to just the list of those who are not suitable for this role. Something else is much more important. You should know who can be chosen as godparents for a child, and in this regard there are no clearly defined boundaries, but only recommendations based on the life experience of previous generations of Orthodox Christians.
Before you choose someone, you should first of all think about whether they will pray all their lives for their godson or goddaughter, because this is precisely one of their main responsibilities. This is especially important in the first years after baptism, since the child is still small and cannot turn to the Creator in prayer. In addition, it is generally accepted that the prayer of those who received the baby from the holy font has a special power of grace and is heard.
Any relative of the child can become a godson, regardless of a friend of his parents or simply someone they know and respect. But at the same time, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by whether the chosen one will be a good adviser and a good spiritual educator of the child.
In order to more fully understand how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to outline the range of responsibilities that are assigned to each of them. This will help to avoid in the future many griefs and disappointments associated with haste and ill-conceived decisions.
According to existing tradition, godparents must go to church a day or two before the sacrament and confess and receive communion there in order to remove the burden of earthly sins that could interfere with the establishment of spiritual unity with the godson. Directly on the day of baptism, they impose a voluntary fast on themselves, excluding both eating and performing marital duties.
During the sacrament, the “Creed” is read, and if the ritual is performed on a girl, then a prayer is read godmother, and if over a boy, then the godfather. In this regard, it is important to prepare carefully, memorize the text and ask the priest in advance when to read the prayer and how.
Choosing the right godparents for a child is extremely important in relation to the help that is expected from them during the ceremony itself. And first of all, this applies to the godmother. She, among other things, must take care of the gift for the child, and various things necessary for the sacrament, such as a baptismal shirt, a towel and, of course, pectoral cross, which will be put on him. By the way, it should be noted that during the sacrament her presence is necessary, while the godfather can only participate in it in absentia.
Psychological aspect of choosing a godmother
It is also very important to take into account that after washing in the font, the child is picked up by his godmother, and care must be taken to ensure that this does not cause stress for the baby. It is highly desirable that the candidate for this role has held him in her arms before, and he is familiar with her features. The same can be said about the godfather. In the entire range of issues related to how godparents are chosen for a child, this occupies one of the main places.
Responsibility for the subsequent spiritual life of the child
According to church teaching, the child’s connection with those who received him from the holy font is considered even closer than with the real parents who gave him life. They will have to answer for him at the Last Judgment, and therefore it is their duty to constantly take care of the spiritual growth of their godson.
This side of their responsibilities to him and to the church includes not only conversations on religious topics that can expand the godson’s knowledge of Orthodoxy, but also introducing the child to attending church and participating in divine services. Moreover, in order to achieve best result, godparents must steadily improve their own spirituality and be a living and convincing example for the child.
Replacement of faith with ritual belief
It is very unfortunate that today the true Christian faith is often replaced by the so-called ritual faith. Leaving aside the foundations of the teachings of Jesus Christ, who preached humanism, sacrifice in the name of one’s neighbor and repentance as the means of acquiring the Kingdom of God, people hope to receive immediate earthly blessings by performing certain ritual actions.
If such naivety was excusable to the ancient pagans due to their ignorance, now that the Lord has given us the Holy Gospel, we can only regret those who, when asked why they baptize a child, without hesitation, answer: “So that he doesn’t get sick.” And it's all! Not a word about the fact that they desire his unity in the Spirit of God with the Creator of the Universe and the possibility of his inheriting Eternal Life.
How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?
Besides, in last years has become fashionable, and unbelieving parents often carry them to the holy font, doing this only in order to keep up with others. Despite this, the church welcomes the baptism of a newborn, regardless of the reasons that guided his parents, although he wishes them to take a more responsible approach to the holy sacrament, which is the spiritual birth of their little person.
That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child becomes special meaning, because it is they who, with their religiosity, can make up for what a real father and mother are not able to give. His decision cannot contain any general advice, since in each case it is individual and depends on the environment of relatives and friends in which the young parents live. It is among these people that one should look for those who, with their faith, are able to help a child take the path of spiritual growth.
A question born of superstition
Sometimes you hear a rather strange question about how to choose godparents for a child and, in general, is it possible to perform this sacrament in a year that has February 29 in its calendar? This question is strange primarily because, according to the clergy themselves, in Orthodox Church there is no such thing as leap year, and therefore, there are no restrictions associated with it, be it weddings, christenings or other sacraments. The popular belief that it brings misfortune is the fruit of superstition and empty speculation. Believers should have in themselves only the fear of God and hope in His mercy, and not the fear of some signs.
The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfather or mother. It is recommended to take blood relatives as godparents. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.
Orthodox Christians
The recipient can be a person who is Orthodox Christian and constantly taking communion. Atheists and representatives of other religious denominations cannot be godparents. At the same time, in mandatory must know the Creed and read it during baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular attendance at church and education in the Christian faith is an integral part of the responsibilities of a godfather.
Age
People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.
Church servants
The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. In addition, adoptive parents also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.
By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.
What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?
It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.
Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.
The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized person, but also a kind of backup for the biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.
Baptism is considered the spiritual birth of a person. This is one of major events in everyone's life it is considered so according to the church worldview. Baptism is a rather serious process and must be approached with all responsibility. The thoughts of people participating in this sacrament must be sincere and pure. Therefore the question is who can be godparents is one of the most important in the rite of baptism. During the rite of baptism, a child or adult receives a Guardian Angel as spiritual protection, who protects him throughout his life.
Who can be godparents and who cannot?
As you know, responsibility for the baptism of a child rests with both the real parents and the godparents. Man's conscious belief in the existence of God is a necessary condition to perform the ritual. Since it is the godparents who pronounce all baptismal vows for the baby. The responsibilities of godparents can be assumed, first of all, by Orthodox people and believers who take their spiritual life very seriously. A desirable condition for choosing a recipient is gender matching, that is, a boy should be baptized by a man, a girl by a woman.
Who can be godparents? This question becomes the main one before the Sacrament! As a rule, both a man and a woman become godparents. Gl 
It is important that they are not relatives to each other. There are situations when a woman becomes a receiver for a boy, and a man for a girl, there will be nothing contradictory or reprehensible in this. It is important that the godparent be a truly religious person, who can be fully entrusted with the responsibilities for the spiritual upbringing of the child.
Who can't be godparents?
1. Minor children who themselves do not yet have serious knowledge of the clergy. And who, in the event of the untimely death of both parents of the godson, will not be able to assume all their responsibilities;
2. People of a different religious faith;
3. Spouses or couples planning to legalize their relationship;
4. People leading a depraved lifestyle;
5. Women during menstruation;
6. Absolutely strangers, whom their parents persuaded, so to speak, at the very last moment.
In any of these cases, the priest has the right to refuse to perform the baptismal ceremony. Of course, you can suppress true information, but is it worth it? After all, the act of baptism is performed with your child and his future directly depends on this.
How many times can you become a godparent?
There are no strict restrictions on the number of times a godparent can be adopted, so this issue is resolved by the desire of the godfather himself. The only thing is 
The godfather must understand that every time he assumes the responsibilities of a godparent, he takes on great responsibility. You will have to answer to God. It is worth remembering that the godfather is an example for the godson. In addition, he will have to help and protect his godson throughout his life.
There is a rumor that becoming a godmother for the second time means removing the cross from the firstborn. This is a big misconception. The Church categorically denies this rumor, comparing repeated participation in baptism with the birth of a second child. It is logical that a mother who has given birth to a second child will not give up her first. It’s the same with the godmother - having become a godmother for the second time, she in no case abandons the first-born and bears the same responsibility for him as for the second. The best solution There will be advance concern about who can be godparents for your baby.