We often meet people who complain about their hard life, but do nothing to change it. They love to cry, using those around them as a vest. Such people constantly have problems, they are always unhappy. It may even seem that they enjoy constant troubles, because they always find excuses for practical advice on overcoming difficulties. And there are those who seem to enjoy not only moral suffering, but also physical suffering. Sometimes they injure themselves, provoke other people to do this, or even ask directly to hurt them. What do you call people who love pain? Where do these tendencies come from?
What do you call a person who loves pain?
A person who takes pleasure in pain (physical or mental) is a masochist. Masochism can be viewed from two sides:
- As a way to gain sexual satisfaction through pain or humiliation.
- As a character trait.
Often what brings pleasure to masochists is not the pain itself, but what lies behind it. Moral masochism can be unconscious: a person can provoke certain circumstances that are not the most pleasant for himself, without realizing it.
Origins of masochism
Masochistic tendencies are formed in childhood. One reason may be the desire to attract the attention of parents. When a child is doing well, he does not receive due attention, but during his illness or problems, parents surround the child with care and love. Thus, subconsciously the child begins to understand that he is loved only when everything is bad for him.
It happens that a child, who is often severely punished, begins to behave provocatively, deliberately getting into various unpleasant situations. This way he gains control over the situation: he decides when he will be punished.
Sometimes masochistic tendencies arise in adopted children. The child feels bad because his mother and father abandoned him. He provokes his adoptive parents to punish him in order to prove that they are also bad, and thus increase his own self-esteem.
Children who have experienced severe trauma and abuse become masochists. In most cases these are girls, while boys more often show sadistic tendencies.
How to communicate with a masochist
A masochist can cause pity or aggression in others. He often complains, feels sorry for himself, but does nothing to correct the situation. It is important for him to receive support and attention.
A negative reaction to a masochist is also not scary, because this way he can revel even more in the injustice of the world and his own suffering.
It is better to be neutral or friendly towards a masochist. Any strong reaction - positive or negative - is equally beneficial for the masochist. He will either continue to use you as a vest, or he will complain about you to others.
So, a person who loves pain is called a masochist. Such people often provoke others into aggression or pity. They do not derive pleasure from the pain itself, but use it to maintain their self-esteem or reduce feelings of guilt. If a person begins to cause physical harm to himself, we can talk about mental pathology. Such a person needs the help of a specialist.
1. The disease, as a way of manipulating loved ones, becomes desirable for the patient, and no one will cure it until the patient understands that he himself is the cause of the disease.
Illness can attract love and care, and through illness you can get away from unpleasant responsibilities in the family. For example, a woman doesn’t want to take her child to kindergarten - “I have such a headache that I can’t take my child to kindergarten in the morning, I immediately feel sick and dizzy.”
2. Illness as a way of care from responsibility.
Example. A complaint came in against a school teacher. The next day there was a showdown with the director. In the morning, the patient developed such weakness in her legs that she could not walk. She has been in bed for two years now and no one can cure her.
Unfortunately, the husband surrounded the patient with such care that she would definitely never get up. Why go up? - there is no incentive, everything in the house revolves around and for the patient. She talks to her husband in an orderly and mentoring tone.
3. Illness as a way of punishing the offender.
“I got sick and let them be ashamed, they brought me to such a state that I almost died,” the woman said to her husband after the scandal in the store. He, in “righteous” anger, goes to the store with the showdown. At the same time, option No. 1 is played out - manipulation of loved ones.
4. Illness as a way to punish oneself through feelings of guilt.
The girl’s mother died in the village, and after the funeral her left arm did not lift.
Constant self-recrimination - “If I had been around, my mother could have lived.”
I was treated by many doctors for glenohumeral periarthrosis, but it did not help. Recovery occurred only after the feeling of guilt was removed.
5. Illness as the goal of life.
In the absence or loss of the meaning of life, illness becomes the meaning of existence: going to doctors and pharmacies, discussing their appointments with friends on the phone or on a bench at the entrance, and so on, fills the patient’s time and thoughts.
It is impossible to cure them, since recovery means for a person the loss of the meaning of life.
Only work can cure such patients. It’s like a chainsaw that lies broken in the closet and no one wants to repair it, but they brought wood for firewood, repaired it in 1 hour and sawed up its wood.
Likewise, a person, having acquired the meaning of life, quickly recovers.
5a. A child’s illness is like the meaning of a mother’s life.
If a mother, while pregnant, walks with a spiritual attitude of constant concern for the future of the child; or if a mother is afraid to let go of her growing child, then a paradoxical thing arises - the child is born sick or becomes ill. Only the weak and sick can be cared for and protected.
A healthy person does not need protection, that is, the meaning of the mother’s life is lost.
Such, if I may say so, “mothers” run from doctor to doctor with their child and, like hell, run from the doctor who can really help the child and mother. “God forbid he cures.”
At the same time, the first option is lost - manipulation of loved ones.
It is constantly suggested and shown to the child - “You see how I care about you.” The child develops a feeling of guilt towards his mother, fear and anxiety for his health.
Such a child grows into a weak-willed person and completely subordinate to the will of the mother. This is a variant of a woman’s complex internal spiritual flaw. Unfortunately this happens very often. And I feel sorry for these children, ruined by their mother’s selfishness.
6. Illness as a sign of a person’s spiritual flaw.
For example: allergies are a variant of intolerance and categoricalness, as a sign of pride and conceit.
An inguinal hernia is a variant of the attitude “You have to fight for everything in this life.”
Hypertension is anxiety, a sign of lack of faith.
Sexually transmitted diseases - fornication and guilt for it.
Uterine fibroids - resentment and claims towards a sexual partner.
Parkinson's disease is a sign of despondency and so on.
7. Illness as a way to stop the fall of man.
These diseases are the work of God. For example, multiple sclerosis, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, cancer, leukemia, as well as road accidents and accidents.
Only awareness of sin, complete repentance and renunciation of the previous way of thinking and life will help here.
In fact, illness calls a person to spiritual achievement.
It is a rare person who takes this path, but those who take it are completely renewed, acquiring a second life.
8. Diseases as a result of the intervention of doctors.
Remember that there is nothing unnecessary in your body and before you undergo surgery, think 1000 times about the consequences. A removed organ cannot be cured. Other organs will begin to compensate for its work, their functional overload, which disrupts their work.
Any operation ends with a scar and adhesive process, this leads to different chains of adaptation with unpredictable consequences.
For example: removal of appendicitis can lead over time to the development of prolapse of the right kidney; cholelithiasis; obesity; ectopic pregnancy; difficult-to-treat dysbacteriosis.
Not everything is different at once and it’s different for everyone; it all depends on the structural features of the organs and the type of tissue response in the body.
In short, by removing the organ, do you think you have gotten rid of the problem?
In fact, you purchased 4–5 times more of them.
Of course, if there is a question of life and death, then you need to have surgery.
There are even more problems from illiterate obstetric care for both the child and the mother.
9. Illnesses to teach a lesson in humility in life.
These are all hereditary diseases, and also see option 7.
10. Illness as a way to retire from active life.
A man is tired of living. These are strokes with paralysis, cancer, myocardial infarction.
11. Diseases as a punishment for aggressiveness and anger in a person.
These are epidemics of infectious diseases.
In the Middle Ages it was plague and smallpox. In our time, the flu (more than 20 million people died from the Spanish flu in the First World War than on the battlefields) and others.
12. Illnesses of children as a sign of the lack of love of the mother (parents) for children. These are nocturnal enuresis, bronchial asthma and other childhood diseases that can take hold and turn into option 1, indicating a person’s infantilism.
In this article, psychologist Evgenia Dvoretskaya answers the question “What is the name of a person who likes to hurt other people?”
We often meet people who complain about their hard life, but do nothing to change it. They love to cry, using those around them as a vest. Such people constantly have problems, they are always unhappy. It may even seem that they enjoy constant troubles, because they always find excuses for practical advice on overcoming difficulties. And there are those who seem to enjoy not only moral suffering, but also physical suffering. Sometimes they injure themselves, provoke other people to do this, or even ask directly to hurt them. What do you call people who love pain? Where do these tendencies come from?
What do you call a person who loves pain?
A person who takes pleasure in pain (physical or mental) is a masochist. Masochism can be viewed from two sides:
- As a way to gain sexual satisfaction through pain or humiliation.
- As a character trait.
Often what brings pleasure to masochists is not the pain itself, but what lies behind it. Moral masochism can be unconscious: a person can provoke certain circumstances that are not the most pleasant for himself, without realizing it.
Origins of masochism
Masochistic tendencies are formed in childhood. One reason may be the desire to attract the attention of parents. When a child is doing well, he does not receive due attention, but during his illness or problems, parents surround the child with care and love. Thus, subconsciously the child begins to understand that he is loved only when everything is bad for him.
It happens that a child, who is often severely punished, begins to behave provocatively, deliberately getting into various unpleasant situations. This way he gains control over the situation: he decides when he will be punished.
Sometimes masochistic tendencies arise in adopted children. The child feels bad because his mother and father abandoned him. He provokes his adoptive parents to punish him in order to prove that they are also bad, and thus increase his own self-esteem.
Children who have experienced severe trauma and abuse become masochists. In most cases these are girls, while boys more often show sadistic tendencies.
How to communicate with a masochist
A masochist can cause pity or aggression in others. He often complains, feels sorry for himself, but does nothing to correct the situation. It is important for him to receive support and attention.
A negative reaction to a masochist is also not scary, because this way he can revel even more in the injustice of the world and his own suffering.
It is better to be neutral or friendly towards a masochist. Any strong reaction - positive or negative - is equally beneficial for the masochist. He will either continue to use you as a vest, or he will complain about you to others.
So, a person who loves pain is called a masochist. Such people often provoke others into aggression or pity. They do not derive pleasure from the pain itself, but use it to maintain their self-esteem or reduce feelings of guilt. If a person begins to cause physical harm to himself, we can talk about mental pathology. Such a person needs the help of a specialist.
- September 9, 2018
- Mental disorders
- Nesteruk Olga
People always become exactly the way their parents raised them. Every parent thinks that they have done everything for the happy future of their child. However, where do people who love pain come from? Why do they derive true pleasure from receiving pain? This is extremely surprising, because by their nature, all living beings dream of well-being, peace and happiness.
Why do some people love pain?
To a person who loves pain, it gives something. What exactly? The main thing it gives unhappy people is attention to themselves. She also carries compassion. People around us are used to feeling sorry for suffering people, which is why some people get used to experiencing pain. It is in this case that they receive maximum self-compassion, understanding and attention. People who love pain love it because at certain periods of life it can be fashionable. For example, some groups of teenagers themselves promote suffering among people. In their opinion, you should look like a martyr, behave in a similar miserable way, shed tears and blame the entire world around you for your troubles. Therefore, there are people who like to suffer and blame others, not wanting to notice their own mistakes.
Psychology of masochism
What do you call people who love pain? Psychologists call them masochists. Typically, when people hear masochism mentioned, they think it's about sex. However, sadomasochistic relationships arise not only in intimate relationships where handcuffs, whips, or even piercing objects are used. Masochism is expressed not only in causing physical pain, but also psychological. One can even say that a person becomes a masochist first in the soul, and only then is drawn to physical pain.
Psychologists view masochism as an all-consuming state. A person is not capable of loving only physical pain, excluding psychological pain. When a person receives pleasure, if he is morally humiliated, then he may like physical pain. It is impossible to become a moral and spiritual masochist without wanting to experience pain on a physical level.
Basically, all people strive for love and peace in relationships. But if you take a closer look at who they actually choose as their partner, we can conclude that in fact they are not looking for sincere love, but for real suffering. Why don’t people think about the need to break up with someone who is capable of causing them suffering? Why can't they be with those who are capable of loving them and want to be with them?
They subconsciously become people who love pain. And this happens because from early childhood they felt the pain and torment that their parents inflicted on them. And, unfortunately, many people have been thinking since infancy that love should only bring pain and torment. This is why they dream of happiness and a calm relationship, but when the stage of choosing their partner comes, they still prefer those who will arouse their usual feelings - torment and pain. Childhood can define a lot; because of the events in it, people appear who love pain and suffering.
Question from Olga
What do you call a person who likes to experience emotional pain? He can even make conditions for this on purpose. But not only experience pain, but also inflict it on people (rather close ones, those who will really be hurt), then feel sorry for them, console them, ask for forgiveness, fix everything, and so on in a circle. And I like the second option even more. After a week without this, it becomes very boring and you have to do it again.
What should I call it?
Answer to the question
A person who likes to experience emotional pain is called, briefly and succinctly, a masochist. However, as a rule, masochists also have sadistic traits in their personality structure. The condition can change and such a person easily turns from a victim into an executioner. The type of relationship described in your letter resembles emotional abuse. Many books and articles have now been written about this problem.
Masochist. Masochism (from the name of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch) - in a broad sense - a tendency to violence, taking pleasure in humiliation and torment from other people. The term was introduced in 1886 by psychiatrist and neurologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in the monograph “Psychopathia sexualis” published in 1886 and is associated with the nature and work of the writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, for whom this deviation was diagnosed in absentia, based on his novels . Sexual masochism is a form of sexual behavior in which the means of obtaining excitement and pleasure is suffering caused by a partner. Psychological masochism (moral masochism, psi-masochism) is colloquially a form of masochism in which the victim experiences not physical, but psychological, moral and ethical suffering (in the form of humiliation, insult, threats, etc.).
What do you call a person who likes to experience emotional pain?
What do you call a person who likes to experience emotional pain? He can even make conditions for this on purpose. But not only experience pain, but also inflict it on people (rather close ones, those who will really be hurt), then feel sorry for them, console them, ask for forgiveness, fix everything, and so on in a circle. And I like the second option even more. After a week without this, it becomes very boring and you have to do it again.
What should I call it?
A person who likes to experience emotional pain is called, briefly and succinctly, a masochist. However, as a rule, masochists also have sadistic traits in their personality structure. The condition can change and such a person easily turns from a victim into an executioner. The type of relationship described in your letter resembles emotional abuse. Many books and articles have now been written about this problem.
If the question concerns your loved one, then the only thing you can do is to invite him to visit a psychotherapist. Such behavior cannot be corrected in the conditions of “everyday kitchen psychotherapy”; deep and long-term work with a specialist is needed. Complete emotional involvement in the problems of another person with such behavior is fraught with emotional dependence and a “savior complex” (when, at all costs, you want to solve the problem for a loved one). I note that a person who is in a close relationship with an emotional abuser also needs the help of a psychotherapist.
Option two: You ask to yourself. And here the recommendation will be similar - long work with a psychotherapist. This behavior is reminiscent of a roller coaster: increasing tension (the carriage rushes up), a surge of adrenaline (maximum height, peak), remorse, regret (the carriage rushes down). Then everything repeats. This is reminiscent of dependence on strong and vivid emotions that conflict gives. Against the background of these emotions, ordinary intimacy seems too insipid and calm. A certain scenario has developed, a pattern of behavior that is quite difficult to change. Now that you know “what it’s called,” you (alone or with a specialist) can think about how you ended up in this situation and what needs to be done to change it (the situation).
A person who likes to hurt others
A little boy came up to his mother and asked, “Why are you crying?” Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this.” Then the boy asked his father: “Why does mom sometimes cry for no reason?” “All women sometimes cry for no reason,” was all the father could answer. Then the boy grew up and became a man, but he never ceased to wonder: “Why do women cry?” Finally, he asked God. And God answered: Having conceived a woman, I wanted her to be perfect. I gave her the shoulders.
Pain can only be caused by someone who was voluntarily approached for this pain, for example, a #doctor. But if pain was not specifically sought, then any infliction of pain is already violence, this is already an insult, this is already a #sin. Every society has sick words. And if you know that these #words are offensive and you use them against other people who did not ask you to do so, then this is real cruelty of mind, speech and body, and problems will follow this cruelty. As they say - “so that.
Olga Valyaeva wrote about this film: “There are things that are unacceptable to think about. And it's unpleasant. Which seem to be prohibited. So as not to disturb the minds and cause pain. But this doesn’t change anything. And the problems do not go away from such silence. This movie is painful to watch. Because it's a documentary. Because it's about children. About the real life of orphans in Russia. And for those whose hearts are still alive, this causes great pain. But it's worth watching. To feel alive, compassionate. AND.
I feel sorry for my husband too... I hurt him and at the same time I’m happy with someone else, I understand that I can’t, or rather don’t want to live with my husband. I feel very good with someone else, I love him very much.. he is kind, gentle and affectionate and he loves me. No one has ever treated me like this, I bathe in the caress of tenderness and love... we have never quarreled this year, everything is fine. I can't refuse it.
Meditation to destroy anger is the answer to the question of what to do with anger: keep it inside yourself or take it out on others. Anger must be destroyed, burned. This is the enemy that is killing us.
Pain is a necessary mechanism for human adaptation to the environment. If we did not experience pain, it is unlikely that doctors would have saved us during an attack of appendicitis or myocardial infarction. Pain is a signal to action, it is a warning about problems in the body and about danger. Muscles react to pain with a sharp contraction, prepare to flee or attack, and you get a massage, where to run and why? Muscles are our main blood depot. Under the influence of pain impulses, the muscle contracts and...
Good morning! I spend so much time on social networks, especially on the bm page, and the one with which he cheated on me six months ago. I hurt myself. This morning I woke up and decided. enough! you need to move on with your life. there is no turning back, I will not forgive the betrayal (even though yesterday he wrote that he loves us very much as a son) and I will not forget. and besides that, he messed up a lot of things. I closed my pages and decided not to go online for a month to begin with. I want to forget all this. me in this one.
For starters, it's okay to be angry. And for children who have not yet really learned to manage their emotions, control them and recognize them, this is doubly the norm. The only problem for parents is the inability to show their children an example of how to express their anger in an environmentally friendly way for others and ask for time to “breathe out.” The advice I want to give is also suitable for adults who notice outbursts of not entirely controlled anger. Accept any feeling from your child and teach him to accept them.
In most cases, suffering and pain can be avoided. The cause of pain is ourselves, because our lives are guided by the mind - the mind that we do not observe. .
If you decide to go, then go to the end of things to remember when things go wrong Pain is part of growth. Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. What you are.
8 Things to Remember When Things Go Wrong 1. Pain is part of growth. Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every.
I used to think that a person could be anything: even a thief, even a boor, even a deceiver. This means that this is how his life in the family turned out, this is how his parents raised him, or the spirit needs to go through just such lessons. I understand this even now, but I want to have people of a different order around me, completely different. These are people for whom honor, word, dignity, conscience matter. Probably, due to the same everyday work, women rarely think about these categories. More precisely, it is generally accepted that they have nothing to do with femininity, therefore.
1. Pain is part of growth. Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every great success requires a worthy struggle to be present. Good things take time. Stay patient.
There are people who don’t care about anything - other people’s misfortune doesn’t bother them at all, they literally go over their heads, achieving their goals. And there are those who feel as if their skin has been removed - any touch, even a kind one, hurts them and causes them pain. They hide from people, justifying their escape by the callousness of others. And the majority behave in accordance with the situation - when they are happy - they laugh, when they are sad or something didn’t work out - they get upset. And most importantly, we trust each other and...
The little boy asked his mother: “Why are you crying?” - "Because I'm a woman." - "I don't understand!" Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this.” Then the boy asked his father: “Why does mom sometimes cry for no reason?” “All women sometimes cry for no reason,” was all the father could answer. Then the boy grew up and became a man, but he never ceased to wonder: “Why do women cry?” Finally, he asked God. And God answered: “When I conceived a woman, I wanted her to be perfect. I.
A little boy asked his mother: “Why are you crying?” Because I am a woman. “I don’t understand!” Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this.” Then the boy asked his father: “Why does mom sometimes cry for no reason?” All women sometimes cry for no reason,” was all the father could answer. Then the boy grew up and became a man, but he never ceased to wonder: why do women cry? Finally, he asked God. And God answered: “Having conceived a woman, I wanted her to be perfect.” I gave her shoulders so strong that.
It is best to recognize a person in three situations: in solitude - since here he takes off everything ostentatious; in a fit of passion - for then he forgets all his rules; in new circumstances - since here he leaves his habits. Francis Bacon
A COUPLE WORDS ABOUT MY CLOUDLESS LIFE ❤ I consider and feel like a happy person. I have a family, although all relationships within it are a very complex process in which everyone grows, quarrels, hurts each other, and then forgives again and reaches a new level of acceptance and trust :) It’s like everyone else, only I’ve learned to relate to this philosophically. I make mistakes, sometimes very rude and serious, I still sometimes cause severe pain to my loved ones and everyone.
This task was not easy. I guess I’m so stubbornly trying to keep away from myself the image of an ideal mother that it’s even difficult for me to really see it :)) Something perfectly combed, impeccably made up and dressed, always in an even and friendly mood, knowing the answer to all questions , who knows how to entertain and calm a child at any time of the day or night and receives sincere pleasure from communicating with him 24 hours a day. This woman has nothing to do with me, and I can’t even say “to.”
8 things to remember when things go wrong
A little boy asked his mother: “Why are you crying?” - Because I'm a woman. - I don't understand! Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this.” Then the boy asked his father: “Why does mom sometimes cry for no reason?” “All women sometimes cry for no reason,” was all the father could answer. Then the boy grew up and became a man, but he never ceased to wonder: “Why do women cry?” Finally, he asked God. And God answered: Having conceived a woman, I wanted.
1. Pain is part of growth. Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every great success requires a worthy struggle to be present. Good things take time. Stay.
When the “end of the world” comes, it is very difficult to find willpower, faith and hope. I know there are many of us! I read this kind of “guide” and somehow calmed down a little. I really want to calm down and go towards my goal. I hope this will be useful to many of you and you will find the words that will give you a chance to calm down! I “highlighted” the truth for myself! 1. Pain is part of growth. Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start a movement unless circumstances force it.
23rd week of pregnancy - such a wonderful second trimester continues. Many mothers note that their hair has never been so thick and their skin has never glowed so much. And here we need to say “thank you” to hormones, which, as you can see, are expressed not only in toxicosis. Be careful about what you eat. Food that causes constipation and heartburn is now prohibited for you. There may also be a new feeling of heaviness in the legs. Don't overexert yourself and wear comfortable shoes. Your baby is the size of an EGGPLANT: 20 cm, height 450 g, weight. What is happening.
THE BOY WHO CROSSED THE OCEAN IN A CHAIR. Lara Williamson Ripoll-Classic, 2016. 320 pp., offset. http://www.labirint.ru/books/555401/
O Creator of the Universe, today we pray to You to help us accept ourselves as we are, without judgment. Help us accept our minds as they are, with all our feelings, hopes and dreams, with our character and unique way of being. Help us accept our body, whatever it is, in all its beauty and perfection. Let our love for ourselves be so strong that we will never again reject ourselves, we will not deprive ourselves of happiness, freedom and love.
“Stop a moment, you’re beautiful!” Photographer? Who are you a photographer? One will say that a photographer is a person who creates photographs using a camera, and the other that he is a wizard who has the power of time, who can preserve the radiant toothless smile of a child for many many years, the shadow of loneliness on the face of an elderly gentleman waiting for a bus , a trace of a single tear hastily rolling down the cheek of a man who held his daughter in his arms for the first time. A wizard who can stop TIME. Everyone can buy a camera, everyone can learn how to click the shutter and master graphic editors. But. Is everyone?
Our thoughts: Thoughts determine health Our body is internally connected with our mind, or rather, the body is a reflection of our mind; it is the gross visible form of the light invisible intelligence. If your teeth, ear, or stomach hurt, your mind immediately responds to this pain. He stops thinking correctly, he gets worried, upset and indignant. If your mind is depressed, your body cannot function properly either. Diseases that harm our body are called secondary diseases; whereas desires which cause harm to our mind are called.
Writer Nadira Angel posted a post on her blog, every word of which you can subscribe to. A thought that makes you want to hug the author tightly and sincerely. A pain familiar to thousands and millions of women. This is the most tactless and cruelest question that others so often ask. Perhaps this is your friend, neighbor, sister. By the age of 30, she still does not have children. People around you are teasing you, pestering you with obsessive reminders: “Look, it will be late!”, “Is the clock ticking?”, “What are you waiting for?” She smiles uncertainly. Perhaps, unnoticeably, he digs his nails into his palms and...
I used to think that a person could be anything: even a thief, even a boor, even a deceiver. This means that this is how his life in the family turned out, this is how his parents raised him, or the spirit needs to go through just such lessons. I understand this even now, but I want to have people of a different order around me, completely different. These are people for whom honor, word, dignity, conscience matter. Probably, due to the same everyday work, women rarely think about these categories. More precisely, it is generally accepted that they have nothing to do with femininity, therefore.
Contrabol
What are people called who get pleasure from depression, pain, and what others consider disgusting and creepy? A person who experiences pleasure while feeling pain is called a masochist. In addition to phantom pain, phantoms are recorded - a person’s sensation of a lost limb not associated with pain. There is also a sadist - this is someone who loves to hurt others. The word Masochist is used when they want to name a person who derives pleasure from pain.
It is difficult to believe that physical pain can be pleasant, although from a physiological point of view there is nothing surprising in this. These pleasure hormones are natural analgesics that reduce pain and help the body adapt to stress. For me, experiencing pain turned out to be a kind of initiation,” says 42-year-old Eduard.
what do you call people who love pain?
For me, pain is better than any meditation,” admits Yana, “I dissolve in it completely, at this time it is simply impossible to think about anything else. Many people also like to experience moral pain, taking pleasure in shame, humiliation, subordination, and in their own defenselessness and vulnerability. But in the psyche of some people these traits are more pronounced.”
This is what their participants call their practices, which include pain and submission. The pain and humiliation that he receives in a masochistic relationship becomes such a proactive punishment, a kind of indulgence, after receiving which the masochist allows himself to experience pleasure. Masochistic practices allow rejected parts of the personality to reunite with the whole, and a person experiences from this a strong relief comparable to delight.
The freedom of the “bottom” is indeed limited, he experiences pain and humiliation - but within the limits to which he himself agreed. The contract also eliminates concerns about harm that may be caused to our bodies. After all, pain usually serves as a danger signal, a sign of damage - existing or possible.
I love pain Online
Nevertheless, the tendency to enjoy pain, so clearly expressed in masochists, is not their exclusive privilege. Book “50 shades of pain. The nature of female submissiveness."
Pain is physical or emotional suffering, painful or unpleasant sensation, torment. There are two main types of pain: nociceptive and neuropathic. Prolonged pain is accompanied by changes in physiological parameters (blood pressure, pulse, pupil dilation, changes in hormone concentrations).
That is, pain is usually more than a pure sensation associated with existing or possible organic damage, since it is usually accompanied by an emotional experience.
They like to feel pain
Nociception refers to the exclusively physiological component of pain, which does not include the subjective-emotional component. The transmission of pain signals in the nociceptive system is not equivalent to felt pain. At the same time, the subjective experience of pain can occur without external stimuli and, accordingly, nociception. Acute pain is defined as pain of short duration of onset with an easily identifiable cause.
It is often more difficult to heal than acute pain. Particular attention is required when addressing any pain that has become chronic. In exceptional cases, neurosurgeons may perform complex surgery to remove parts of a patient's brain to treat chronic pain.
Why do some people like pain?
Cutaneous nociceptors terminate just below the skin and, due to their high concentration of nerve endings, provide a highly precise, localized sensation of pain of short duration.
Internal pain arises from the internal organs of the body. Internal nociceptors are located in organs and internal cavities. The pain attributed may be explained by the discovery that pain receptors in internal organs also excite spinal neurons that are excited by skin lesions.
The discovery related to TMPRSS2 could lead to new drugs to combat pain in cancer patients. Psychogenic pain is diagnosed in the absence of an organic disease or in the case when the latter cannot explain the nature and severity of the pain syndrome.
Pathological pain is an altered perception of pain impulses as a result of disorders in the cortical and subcortical parts of the central nervous system. Mental pain is a specific mental experience that is not associated with organic or functional disorders. Most often it is long-lasting and associated with the loss of a loved one. Mental pain was manifested by activation of the limbic system - neurons in the anterior cingulate gyrus (pars anterior Gyrus cinguli).
What do you call a person who likes to hit others and cause pain?
Under certain conditions, having played its informational role, pain itself becomes part of a pathological process, often more dangerous than the damage that caused it. According to one hypothesis, pain is not a specific physical sensation, and there are no special receptors that perceive only painful stimulation.
As long as a person feels pain, he is alive
In fact, there are people with different pain sensitivity thresholds. And this may depend on the emotional and subjective characteristics of the human psyche. The study of pain has expanded in recent years across fields ranging from pharmacology to psychology and neuropsychiatry.
In recent decades, there has been a tendency to prevent or treat pain and diseases that create painful sensations through proper nutrition. The results of a new study suggest that this is likely true, especially for those people who suffer from borderline personality disorder. It's hard to believe but it's true. The pain itself excites them just as much as an ordinary person, simple caresses and gentle touches.
A masochist can be a lover of experiencing mental torment or a lover of experiencing physical pain (the second is more often observed in sexual deviation). Most often, both addictions are combined in one person, and one (the desire for physical pain) is a consequence of the other (the addiction to mental torment).
But the masochist’s experiences are not limited to physical pain. The sadist hurts the sadomasochist and both are happy. A person who is experiencing pain releases a large amount of endorphins into the blood, says sexologist Irina Panyukova.
The desire to cause pain, the desire to beat someone are produced in people with a certain personality type
The most common complaints when impulses manifest themselves cause bodily harm or pain.
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As a rule, impulses to cause bodily harm or harm to someone are produced in people with a certain type of personality, certain character traits, so-called emotionally excitable individuals, and perhaps individuals with sadistic tendencies.
Also, quite often, people who experience impulses to cause bodily injury or harm to someone are in a darkened state of consciousness (alcohol or drug intoxication). That is, under the influence of any psychoactive substances, such as alcohol or drugs. When the consciousness is affected by taking psychoactive substances, situational control is lost, the person becomes aggressive and can cause bodily harm or harm to someone or any kind of offense.
Examples of complaints about impulsive desires to hurt someone.
The fact is that I am tormented by obsessive thoughts, an inexplicable expectation of something bad. Suddenly some impulse comes and I am overcome by an inexplicable desire to harm someone, to cause bodily harm. This makes life very difficult and prevents you from concentrating on anything. I do not know what to do. The fact that I am a woman and against gender discrimination never stops me. When I'm in this state, I can just beat my husband. I can't concentrate on myself!
What do you call a person who likes to experience pain?
What do you call a person who likes to experience pain?
A person who loves to experience pain is called a masochist. This word comes from the writer Sacher-Masoch, who was the first to describe this type of person and his addictions. In fact, physical pain is not an end in itself for a masochist.
He needs to feel pressure and power, they like to submit to someone else’s pressure and will, which gives them this pain psychologically. At this moment, they themselves are a model of weakness and helplessness, and this gives them euphoria.
Such a person likes to be humiliated and insulted. Masochism is an abnormal deviation that requires psychological treatment. He lives and enjoys only painful experiences. And he seeks a repetition of this feeling again and again.
A person who loves to experience pain and suffering is called a masochist. The word masochism comes from the Austrian writer Sacher - Masoch. Suffering for a masochist is necessary to get pleasure.
Why do we hurt those we love?
This article will focus on mental pain, not physical pain.
Why, for example, does a husband who loves his wife and is satisfied with his sexual relationship with her, like everything else, continue to cheat on her?
Or why does a difficult teenager, who knows that his mother loves him and cares about him, continue to upset her with his antics?
I will focus on the 5 most common motives for these human actions:
As F. Perls said, “An ideal is a stick that gives us the opportunity to beat ourselves and mock ourselves and those around us.”
A child who looks at his parent as an ideal, or a husband who also looks at his wife, will always be tormented by an inferiority complex and a desire to belittle the idealized object.
A person who strives to show himself as perfect instills in others an inferiority complex, and therefore will always be tempted and provoked. Let us remember Christ, tempted by the devil. The devil tempts Christ in order to gain power over him and become closer to him, to touch the sun in order to become part of him.
Again the devil takes Him to a very high mountain and shows Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, and says to Him: I will give all this to You if you fall and worship me. Then Jesus says to him: Get thee behind me, Satan, for it is written: Worship the Lord thy God, and serve him only.
As long as Christ and Satan are antagonists, the more pronounced the conflict between them is. And the conflict goes away when they reconcile with each other.
From this it follows that an ideal person will not be able to help another become better as long as he seems ideal. And you can only inspire trust in another by leveling up with him. Like in a parable.
The scribes and Pharisees brought to Christ a woman caught in adultery, and, placing it in the middle, they said to Him: Teacher! this woman was taken in adultery; and Moses the law commanded us to stone such people: What do you say? Jesus stood up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus, standing up and not seeing anyone but the woman, said to her: woman! where are your accusers? no one judged you? She answered: no one, Lord. Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.
Why do people hurt each other?
This article is intended for those who are confident or convince themselves that there are reasonable arguments of logic, heart, certain reasons that justify actions that cause offense to other people. So, why do people offend each other: their colleagues, friends, loved ones? Are there reasons for this behavior?
Reasons for actions that cause pain
Reflecting on events in the lives of different people, five reasons emerged: why do people hurt each other?
1. Some people do it for revenge.
Many maliciously hurt others as an act of revenge. This is one of the most logical reasons for causing suffering to others. It is not a fact that the problem may have a real foundation; it may be fictitious, that is, imaginary. However, people, in their absurd anger, forget that “an eye for an eye” only makes the whole world blind...
2. For others, the reason is ambition - the ability to manipulate
There is a category of people who try to manipulate and can deliberately humiliate a person, putting him above themselves, causing him pain. These are dictators who think that they can command their subordinates, considering them their puppets. They do not allow their subordinates to use their minds and do not accept other decisions. The performer cannot question the manager’s judgment and strictly carries out any instructions.
3. In some cases, the reason is the weakness of the opponent, who allows himself to be humiliated
Although it is difficult to admit, sometimes we ourselves are responsible for how we are treated. To avoid quarrels and conflicts, we willingly allow ourselves to be led, give outdated advice and unnecessary recommendations, without expressing our opinions. However, sooner or later, patience runs out, and an avalanche of angry words bursts out, forever burning the bridges of a once good relationship.
4. There is a category of people who enjoy inflicting pain.
Indeed, there is a category of people who experience a feeling of euphoria by causing pain to others: they derive pleasure from the suffering of human humiliation. These are “energy vampires” who deliberately provoke conflict. They enjoy the process of scandal itself.
5. The latter are those who do not know that they offend a person, causing him suffering and pain.
There are people who inadvertently offend others. You can call it lack of sensitivity, tactlessness and familiarity. Resentment can be caused by seemingly trivial things:
- An unfulfilled promise
- Missed date
- Lack of politeness
- Other ordinary reasons.
Enemies can cause us harm and pain, but sometimes loved ones can hurt us much deeper and more painfully. Why? Yes, because we love and expect more from them.
What should I say to those who do not notice how they offend loved ones, and then wonder where the resentment and discord come from? Try to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes and never assume that they must understand you. You need to learn to accept other people's opinions, not only by listening, but by hearing, and stop “sprinkling salt in the wounds”, reminding you of those moments that should be forgotten. Learn to resolve your differences by remembering to say, “I'm sorry.”
Scientifically proven: good people hurt others more easily
Compliant, nice people will willingly make choices with the most destructive consequences if they are confident that such a choice will help them meet social expectations. This is the discovery of psychologists who have suggested that unpleasant and angry people may turn out to be much kinder and more compliant than we think.
More recently, researchers conducted a version of Stanley Milgram's famous "obedience experiment." During the experiment, doctors asked subjects to shock other people until they died. Only later did the subjects learn that the people they had just “killed” were just actors. Scientists were amazed at the number of well-meaning people who calmly “killed” other people simply because they were given such an order.
When they repeated the experiment, the researchers found evidence that compliant people very often decide to do destructive things, simply because they do not want to upset others by disagreeing with their direct orders.
Writes Kenneth Wortsey, Psychology Today:
“There is a high likelihood that compliant, friendly, open-faced people will make destructive choices. In these new “obedience experiments,” people with more social benefits were the ones who did the experimenters' bidding and administered electric shocks, knowing full well that doing so could harm an innocent person. In contrast, unyielding people with less open faces are more likely to refuse to hurt others when told to do so.”
This probably explains why the Hulk always saves the world.
- Masochists are men and women for whom the experience of physical and mental pain becomes a necessary condition for pleasure.
- Sexual contact in the practice of masochism is possible, but not required. But submission and a sense of one’s own vulnerability are required.
- Our experience can be considered masochistic when we experience humiliation and pleasure at the same time.
Hands tied behind the back, a black blindfold, a gag in the mouth, buttocks cut to the point of bleeding... It seems that these photographs would rather evoke fear or pity, but in the voice of 30-year-old Yana, who lays them out on the table, there is a sound of restrained pride: “ It’s all me, albeit at different times.” The point of painful exercise is to relieve tension and feel satisfaction. Although the way masochists achieve this may seem strange to someone who is used to receiving pleasure differently.
It is difficult to believe that physical pain can be pleasant, although from a physiological point of view there is nothing surprising in this. “A person who is experiencing pain releases a large amount of endorphins into the blood,” says sexologist Irina Panyukova. - These pleasure hormones are natural analgesics that reduce pain and help the body adapt to stress. At the same time, adrenaline is released, causing vigor and excitement.” Endorphins and adrenaline are the same hormonal cocktail for which others conquer mountain peaks and subject themselves to sports stress. “For me, experiencing pain turned out to be a kind of initiation,” says 42-year-old Eduard. - I like to explore my sensations, to withstand increasingly stronger influences. At the end of the session, I feel more than just satisfaction, I feel like a winner.”
Only having received the first experience of submission, I realized what I was missing
Feeling liberated
“For me, pain is better than any meditation,” admits Yana, “I dissolve in it without a trace, at this time it is simply impossible to think about anything else. The result, in my opinion, is comparable to spiritual practices - a feeling of complete liberation, openness to life.” But the masochist’s experiences are not limited to physical pain. Many people also like to experience moral pain, taking pleasure in shame, humiliation, subordination, and in their own defenselessness and vulnerability. “Self-denial, the ability to make sacrifices, renunciation of one’s needs - these traits are inherent to some extent in all of us, both men and women,” notes Irina Panyukova. - It is they, in contrast to extreme egoism, who make life in society possible. But in the psyche of some people these traits are more pronounced.” Connecting with sexual needs, they bring them to the “Theme”. This is what their participants call their practices, which include pain and submission. The rest of the relationship is “vanilla” for them. “I had a lot of vanilla relationships,” continues Yana, “but even when everything went well, there remained a vague feeling, like a slight hunger or melancholy. And only when I received my first experience of submission, I realized what I was missing.” Eduard, who has been in Tema for 15 years, describes his experiences in a similar way: “For quite a long time I could not understand what I wanted, and I chose women who themselves dreamed of obeying, but I could not give them this. Or, on the contrary, powerful, but inept, they caused me a lot of useless suffering.”
Sex without sex?
Thematic relationships may include sexual contact, but this is not necessary. “If we consider that sex is a combination of personal relationships and intense physical contact, then the Theme is already sex in itself,” notes Yana. Sometimes the meeting participants don't even bare their clothes. 29-year-old Pavel, the “top” (the one who hurts the “bottom”), rejects the very idea of the possibility of sexual contact: “I have no doubt that my “bottoms” would like this. But the condition that makes our relationship what it is is that all power and control is concentrated in my hands. And in intercourse, partners at some point may find themselves on equal terms. This is unacceptable for our relationship.”
Just as ordinary (genital) sexual contact can take place in the absence of any personal relationship between partners - such as sex for money - so a masochistic session can be impersonal, and then it is similar to the provision of agreed services. But sometimes partners live together and even get married, which to an outside observer is no different from a marital relationship. And just like other couples, sex may or may not be a part of their life together. A young couple, 32-year-old Boris and 26-year-old Zoya, have been living in the same apartment for a year and a half and to their neighbors they look like an ordinary family. Only a few close friends are privy to the essence of their relationship. “Boris is my master,” says Zoya. - Sometimes he orders me to have sex with someone on the side. Then I tell him everything.” Zoya believes that their connection is “much stronger than romantic love. There is a lot of trust and gratitude in her. We know our special needs well, we recognize them and are grateful to those who know how to satisfy them.”
However, with or without sex, masochism is closely connected with sexuality. “There may not be physical punishment in the family, but if parents or other elders instill in a child that sexuality is something shameful, something to be avoided, then, as he grows up, he continues to feel that his sexual impulses are something that deserves punishment,” explains Irina Panyukova. The pain and humiliation that he receives in a masochistic relationship becomes such a proactive punishment, a kind of indulgence, after receiving which the masochist allows himself to experience pleasure.
“You can make love or not, but you cannot help but engage in your sexuality,” emphasizes Irina Panyukova, “since it is an integral and important part of our personality. Rejecting it makes it difficult to feel fully yourself.” Masochistic practices allow rejected parts of the personality to reunite with the whole, and a person experiences from this a strong relief comparable to delight.
Thanks to the subordinate position of the masochist, responsibility is completely removed from him - both for his behavior, and for his feelings, and even for the way he looks. “Sometimes it seemed to me that I was not kind and beautiful enough,” Yana recalls, “but if I am not good enough for love, then in any case I am bad enough to be punished.”
“The burning pain delighted me”
Masochism is a derivative of the name of the 19th century Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. He created the image of a hero who took pleasure in being brutalized by powerful women. In the novel “Venus in Fur,” he describes the relationship between the beautiful Wanda and a man named Severin who is in love with her.
“Severin, I warn you once again, for the last time...” Wanda interrupted the silence.
If you love me, be cruel to me! - I said pleadingly, raising my eyes to her.
If I love you? - Wanda repeated drawlingly. - Well, good! “She took a step back and looked at me with a dark smile. - So be my slave and feel what it means to surrender completely into the hands of a woman!
And at that very moment she stepped on me.
Well, slave, do you like it?
And she waved her whip.
I wanted to get back on my feet.
Not this way! - she ordered. - On knees!
I obeyed and she began to whip me.
The blows - frequent, strong - quickly rained down on my back, on my arms, each one cut into my body, and it ached from burning pain, but the pain delighted me, because it was inflicted on me by her, whom I idolized, for whom I for a minute I was ready to give my life.
She stopped.
“I’m starting to find pleasure in this,” she said. - That’s enough for today, but I’m overcome by a devilish curiosity - to see how much your strength will last... a cruel desire - to see how you tremble under the blows of my whip, how you squirm... then to hear your moans and complaints and pleas for mercy - and still whip, whip until you faint. You have awakened dangerous tendencies in my soul. Well, now get up.
I grabbed her hand to press my lips to it.
What insolence!
She kicked me away from her.
Get out of my sight, slave!
L. von Sacher-Masoch “Venus in Furs” (BMM, 2014).
On a contract basis
But a masochist doesn’t like any kind of pain, but only predictable ones. “If he cuts his finger or breaks his knee, the first reaction will be the same as any of us, he is unlikely to experience pleasure,” says Irina Panyukova. Therefore, before starting any practice or entering into a relationship, their participants agree. They discuss the limits of what is acceptable and enter into a contract, either verbally or in writing (an example of such a contract can be found in the book Fifty Shades of Gray).
Predictability creates anticipation. “Experience is always different from fantasy on the same topic,” notes Irina Panyukova. “Therefore, not every fantasy is happy when it becomes reality.” The intrigue remains - we are looking forward, but we don’t fully know how it will be for us this time. “Co-creating a script, describing upcoming actions in words is one of my main pleasures,” admits Eduard. “I’m not sure I would like it if something was done to me without discussion.” The freedom of the “bottom” is indeed limited, he experiences pain and humiliation - but within the limits to which he himself agreed.
Many masochistic practices require special preparations and tools. Sometimes costumes are used. “Rituals and repetition are characteristic of many types of deviating (from traditional) sexual activity,” says Irina Panyukova. “On the one hand, following the rules helps to get a guaranteed result (physiological relaxation) even if the partners know each other little; on the other hand, it relieves anxiety, which is often very high.”
The contract also eliminates concerns about harm that may be caused to our bodies. After all, pain usually serves as a danger signal, a sign of damage - existing or possible. “My pain during practice is a serene pain,” says Yana. “I know that the abrasions will heal without a trace in three days, and I can completely surrender to my experiences.”
Dangerous games
What can be said about not physical, but psychological damage? How much harm will be done to the psyche of someone who experiences humiliation, even voluntarily? Opinions on this matter are mixed. “If adult partners, by mutual consent, practice something that brings them satisfaction, this concerns only themselves,” Irina Panyukova is sure. However, she adds: “Masochistic tendencies can become a problem if they turn into the only way to get physiological release and prevent a person from entering into joyful and pleasant relationships with other people.”
Anticipation, discussion of the script is an important part of the fun
Sexologist Alain Héril puts it bluntly: “This is a painful game of violation and a challenge to our integrity. There is no place for orgasmic pleasure here, since the concept of orgasm deviates from its meaning of liberation and is replaced by the expression of restraint, compulsion and suffering. The reward of orgasm is eliminated in favor of repetitive, highly ritualized activities.”
Nevertheless, the tendency to enjoy pain, so clearly expressed in masochists, is not their exclusive privilege. Each of us can sometimes notice it in ourselves. “If we feel pleasure and humiliation at the same time, we are experiencing a masochistic experience,” notes Jungian psychologist Lyn Cowan (1). And Irina Panyukova adds: “Falling in love with unavailable objects, for example, married or uninterested men, and long suffering after separation or denial of intimacy is a reason to look inside yourself and ask: maybe suffering gives me pleasure?”
1. L. Cowan “Masochism. Jungian view" (Cogito Center, 2005).
To learn more
Book “50 shades of pain. The nature of female submissiveness." Features of female voluptuousness, the desire for submission, its causes, biological and social, - this is a brief list of issues that are explored in the works of the founder of sexopathology Richard von Krafft-Ebing, the creator of psychoanalysis and the classic of female psychoanalysis Karen Horney (Algorithm, 2015).