How can we help our parents - those who are much older than us: mothers, fathers, grandparents - come to Church? After all, the older generation grew up and was formed under Soviet rule, when atheism was the dominant ideology. They are already rooted in their worldview, in their habits. It is difficult for them to come to the temple, especially for the first time. Many of them still treat the Church with distrust.
But, on the other hand, is it good when younger people try to teach older ones, especially in such serious matters? How can we help, and what should we do here? Is it worth having explanatory conversations, arguing and convincing, or is there another way?
“Any faith imposed by force is an incorrect faith.”
:
– The most important thing is not to tell people to believe, pray, fast, and not constantly advise: “Do as I do!” Axiom: “Any faith imposed by force is an incorrect faith” - not only for the younger ones, it remains an axiom for the older ones too.
Arguing is fraught: we will receive too many arguments in response about the more moral level of society at the time when our parents and grandparents grew up and lived. The concepts of respect for elders, caring for the younger, helping the sick and elderly were brought up and encouraged, just as education with all its ideological deviations was then at a high level.
Love “for the tombs of our fathers”, for traditions and history - an argument that the older generation will listen to
But there is an argument that the older generation listens to: the famous moral code of those times, if you remove ideological constructs from it, is essentially naive, but in general a true copy of the basic biblical postulates. If we can explain this, interest will arise; Let us, through our behavior and uncunning sincerity, strive to fulfill the commandments of God - interest will develop into a desire to find out what kind of faith this is.
Another argument that the older generation will always listen to is the love “for the tombs of our fathers,” for traditions and our history.
I have a young priest I know who attracted his grandmother and grandfather to the temple by compiling a family tree for their family. When my grandfather asked why he was doing this, asking his relatives, writing letters to the archives, the priest replied: I want to pray for them. This was enough for the old people to come to the temple.
It is the personal example of faith, based on the tradition, culture and history of our ancestors, that, it seems to me, is the main argument in apologetics with the older generation.
In short: don’t be intrusive, but be an example.
“If you have recently entered the fold of the Church, first learn for yourself.”
:
– For me personally, this issue has been very painful for a long time. The fact is that I grew up in an ordinary atheist family. No one, neither my parents, nor my sister and I, believed in God. In 1989, when I was 13 years old, my sister, my cousin, and I decided to be baptized. Nobody taught us, children, faith, and we, children, decided to be baptized for no reason at all, just to participate in some mysterious action that would protect and help. But in an amazing way, the sacrament of Baptism changed me, opened the heart of God, and I left the temple as a new person, feeling inside an amazing light, joy and also freedom. Since then, my life has changed dramatically, I went to church and was glad that I had found the meaning of life, I no longer saw any other path for myself other than serving God. And then it turned out that my parents did not understand me.
"Why do you need that?" - they told me when I was going to church on Saturday and Sunday. They saw no prospects on this path. Church life frightened them and caused bewilderment; it seemed like a relic of the past. However, I was not interfered with or prohibited. And when I entered the theological seminary - it was 1993 - it turned out that the overwhelming majority of seminarians, as far as I remember, came from unchurched families. A paradox was observed: children turned to God before their parents. It seems to me that now this difference has been somewhat smoothed out.
I don’t remember exactly what I told my parents, but I definitely said that I wanted them to experience this joy - communication with God. I remember sharing my impressions of what I read in the Bible. And since I began to read the Bible, like any book, from the first lines, that is, from the Old Testament, then, not yet being sufficiently churched, I spoke with enthusiasm about things that were completely useless in the light of the New Testament, for example, about clean and unclean food, which only confused his parents and grandmother.
Now I am convinced: if you yourself have recently entered the fold of the Church, then do not try to teach anyone. Learn it yourself first. My words, naturally, did not have much effect on my parents: they did not go to church.
To be honest, I have never developed any method for converting the older generation to faith. It seems to me that in some sense this is even artificial and incorrect. If a child tries to teach his parents to be smart, it looks simply wild. It is obvious to me that if children turned to God besides their parents, then even more so parents can turn to God without intrusion on the part of their children.
Only a good example can influence. People are always drawn to what brings them good and benefit. And when they see a concrete example and realize that the Church brings good to the soul, then rethinking begins. My parents turned to God apart from any propaganda on my part.
I’ll also reveal a secret: when I studied at the seminary at the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra, I regularly, almost every day, went to. Each time I carried with me a note with the names of relatives and prayed for their conversion to God, for the salvation of their souls. In the time that has passed since then, almost all of the relatives have truly turned to God. But this happened somehow unnoticed.
First, my mother went to church, began to confess and receive communion. Then dad started walking occasionally. Years passed, and it turned out that our relatives built a temple, the temple immediately took a central place in the lives of many relatives, and my parents settled right next to the temple, my dad himself began to confess and receive communion, without anyone’s requests or suggestions. Also my grandmother, and almost everyone - each in his own way, but came to God.
The most important thing is constant prayer for loved ones, prayer from the heart
I don’t think it’s possible to lead a person to God through arguments and discussions. Turning to God is the secret of the human soul. One can only kindly offer to a person older than us, tell us about Christ, about how life in the Church strengthens and nourishes us. But the most important thing is constant prayer for loved ones, prayer from the heart - it bears fruit.
The difference between faith and unbelief is not just a difference in worldviews, it is a difference between two internal states, the experience of the heart. One heart feels God's presence, but the other does not. Faith in God cannot be implanted in the soul in a rational and rational way. It is acquired as a revelation, as a personal meeting with God, and then the heart is transformed.
If children turned to God before their parents, then this is already a huge spiritual victory. This is much better than when the parents turned to God, but the children did not. Usually, parents look more reverently at what their children have dedicated themselves to, so parents often perceive their children as turning to God.
I would like to remember from history. When the Orthodox faith was spreading in Rus', things were especially difficult in Rostov the Great. The first two bishops were expelled. Saint Leonty of Rostov was installed as the third bishop, but he also failed to persuade the local residents to believe, and he was also expelled. Then he settled near Rostov and began to communicate with the children of local residents. The children were attracted by his kindness, and he told them about Christ, about salvation, then he baptized them, and after that the adults began to be attracted to the faith. Thus, the children’s conversion to Christ became the beginning of the churching of all of Rostov. Therefore, children turning to God before parents is a welcome phenomenon in the life of modern Russia. Through children, faith will spread to everyone.
"Education" of fathers
:
– It seems to me that in relation to older relatives, first of all, you need to take care of the most precise and complete fulfillment of the commandment to honor your parents. This also applies to grandparents and other older relatives. Because the basis of preaching about Christ, of course, should be love. Then our word spoken about faith will be “seasoned with salt,” that is, spiritually complete and meaningful. This is the first.
Second: we should not think that changes in our loved ones will happen quickly and exactly as we expect. People are all different, and in some people the blessed change of heart occurs easily and quickly, but in others it is difficult and slow. In any case, you need to value the freedom of your loved one and not force his will. Be patient and kindly respectful. And this means: do not fool your head with your endless notations, “do not consider yourself to be something, although you are nothing” (cf. Gal. 6: 3). Learn to listen and serve more, rather than being clever and admonishing.
You can and should tell your family about faith, but this must be done with tact, and not deliberately preaching.
Of course, you can and should tell your family and friends about your faith, but you need to do this with tact, and not deliberately, with an “educational” purpose, which can only cause irritation in your father and mother, who themselves taught you to speak once, and now you are trying to teach them something. And let you say the right words a thousand times, but if there is no simplicity and trust, if these words do not come from the fullness of heartfelt life, then only letters remain.
Only the Lord heals a person’s heart, we must remember this. This means that you need to pray with pain for your unbelievers or unchurched relatives and be a living and true Christian yourself. Confirm your preaching by personal example, remembering that “there is no word that is wiser than deeds” (St. Mark the Ascetic).
The priest was disappointed to discover that his flock consisted of only one farmer. While wondering whether he should hold a service that Sunday, he decided to ask his parishioner for his opinion.
“If I bring a bucket of millet to my chickens,” the farmer began, “and only one comes, I don’t leave her hungry,” he logically concluded.
Moved by this simple analogy, the priest mounted the pulpit and delivered an emotional and lengthy sermon.
- Did you like the service? - he asked at the end of the sermon.
“When only one chicken comes,” the farmer answered irritably, “I don’t feed her the whole bucket.”
Two priests meet. One says:
- Just imagine, the other day I was leading a service in the church and a woman came in, not only with her head uncovered, but also smoking in God’s temple. I almost dropped the beer from my hands.
A boorish-looking young man enters the temple, approaches the priest, hits him on the cheek and, smiling sarcastically, says:
- And what, father, it was said, they hit you on the right cheek, turn the left one too.
Father, a former master of sports in boxing, sends the insolent man into the corner of the temple with a left hook and meekly says:
- It is also said that with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you!
Frightened parishioners:
- What is happening there?
Deacon important:
- The Gospel is interpreted.
Priest in the church:
- Whoever swears in church, I will beat him with a stick!
- Forgive me, Holy Father, but you yourself said “f*ck off”?
- Get fucked, you damned one!
At confession.
- My father, I sinned - I called one young man “son of a bitch.”
- What made you call him that, my daughter?
- He touched my hand without my permission.
- Like this? (touches her hand)
- Yes, my father.
- But after that he undressed me.
- So? - undresses her
- Yes, my father.
“But that’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
- But after that he shoved you know what you know where.
- So?
- Yes, my father
“But that’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
- But, holy father, he has syphilis!
- What a son of a bitch!
Father, maybe a glass for the health of the young?
- Sorry, honey, you can't. I'm at the censer.
There are many passengers on the bus, cramped conditions, inconveniences... One young lady was pressed against the priest, and she exclaimed:
- Wow!
To which the priest replied:
- Not “wow”, but the key to the temple!..
The priest comes home all beaten up, his wife asks:
- Father, how?
And he tells her:
- This is not an image, but a candelabra...
In the New York subway, a dirty man with a terribly red face sits in a carriage, dressed in only rags, he reeks of alcohol a kilometer away, and he is reading a newspaper. A Catholic priest in vestments sits next to the man. The man looked up from the newspaper, looked at the priest and asked:
- Tell me, dad, why do people get rheumatism?
The priest looked at the man with a contemptuous look and answered:
- Rheumatism occurs only in those people who have been parasitists all their lives, lead a dissolute lifestyle, consume alcohol in immeasurable quantities and have long ago sold their souls to the devil!
The man exclaimed: “Well, nevermind!” and again buried his face in the newspaper. A minute later the priest felt very ashamed that he had treated the man so rudely and un-Christianly. In order to somehow smooth out his guilt, the priest asked the man in a caring voice:
- Tell me, have you been suffering from rheumatism for a long time?
To which the man replied in a hoarse voice:
- Why, dad, I don’t have any rheumatism. It’s just that the newspaper says that it was found in the possession of the Pope.
A new Russian comes to church for confession.
The priest asks him:
- What is your sin, my son?
- Father, I'm too greedy.
- Greed is a great sin. When you leave the church, you must give $50 to the first person who crosses your path.
- How? $50 to the first person you meet?
- My son, if you want to take the path of correction, you must start with this.
The new Russian listened to him. He leaves the church - there is no one around! He goes further and sees one girl - high-heeled shoes, a short skirt, makeup almost falling off.
He comes up to her, gives her a $50 bill and says:
- Here, take it…
- No, it’s not enough, you need $100.
- Why $100? Father told me that I need to give $50.
- Well, the priest is a regular customer...
Forgive me my sin, holy father! I was on a bender yesterday...
- Is your repentance sincere?
- Coded, father!
Church. Absolution. Father:
- Sinful, my daughter?
- It’s a sin, father.
- How many times have you sinned?
- Two.
- Go read the “Our Father” twice, and you will be forgiven.
Next.
- Sinful, my daughter?
- It’s a sin, father.
- How many times have you sinned?
- Three.
- Go read the “Our Father” three times, and you will be forgiven.
Next.
- Sinful, my daughter?
- It’s a sin, father.
- How many times have you sinned?
- Ten and a half.
- Hm... Go ahead and finish your sins. Then you will come. I'm not good at fractions.
An Orthodox priest and a rabbi once became friends. Houses were built in the neighborhood, a common garden was planted without a fence. And we decided to buy one “Zaporozhets” for two. No sooner said than done. They drove us in, put us between the houses and went off to sleep.
But the priest can’t sleep: he needs to bless the car, but he doesn’t want to offend the rabbi. He spun and spun, and in the middle of the night he decided: his friend was probably sleeping and wouldn’t know anything.
I went out into the garden with holy water. Walks around the car, splashes. It comes up from behind, lo and behold, the exhaust pipe is cut off!…
What parishioners you have, Father! They stand at work calmly and gracefully, but before they used to drive away mosquitoes with their hands.
- And now I put fumitox in the censer. That's why they don't bite...
In the church after the service, a hefty, shaved fellow approaches the priest and says:
- Well, you, fraer, are really great at sculpting, damn it!
- How do you talk to the priest? Get out of the temple!
- Well, as you know... But I wanted to donate ten grand to the temple.
- Ten pieces!? Well, bro, you are truly a trump buddy!
All jokes are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
A priest is walking through the desert, and a lion meets him.
The priest begins to pray:
- Lord, instill Christian thoughts in this lion.
Leo kneels:
- God bless my food!
A priest who arrived in a small village asked the boy how to get to the church where he would read a sermon in the evening.
After the boy showed him the way, the priest suggested:
- Come tonight and bring all your friends!
- For what? - asked the boy.
“I will tell you how to get to heaven,” answered the priest.
- Are you joking! - the boy laughed. -You didn’t even know how to get to the church!
We read about the Old Testament Joseph, who married the daughter of an Egyptian priest.
- Dad, who is a priest?
- Son, this is such a priest...
David interrupts:
- Is this uncle a priest who eats a lot?
A new priest arrived in a Finnish village and decided to get to know the parishioners by personally visiting each one’s home. And so he knocks on the door of the peasant Jussi. The voice of Jussi's wife comes from behind the door:
- Is it you, my angel?
The priest was a little confused, but answered:
- No, but I'm from the same company.
Having finished the service, the priest announced:
- Next Sunday I will talk with you about lies. To make it easier for you to understand what will be discussed, read the seventeenth chapter of the Gospel of Mark at home before doing this.
The following Sunday, the priest announced before his sermon:
- I ask those who have read the seventeenth chapter to raise their hands.
Almost everyone present raised their hands.
“It’s with you that I wanted to talk about lies,” said the priest. - U
Mark no seventeenth chapter.
A bus driver and a priest stand in front of the gates of heaven.
Saint Peter comes out to them:
- You, driver, come in, and you, father, wait a little.
The priest is indignant:
- How so? I dedicated my whole life to the church!
- So what? In your church everyone was sleeping, but in his bus everyone was praying!
An English priest, walking in a very well-kept garden, sees a gardener at work. Wanting to remind him of the greatness of God, the priest says:
- I see you have a wonderful garden, sir. What wonderful creations the Lord creates when man helps him!
- Ha! You should have seen this garden last year when He worked here alone...
On Sunday morning, the priest calls his superiors. Like, I’m sick, I can’t go to the service, let someone else take my place... Having received the go-ahead, the priest gets into the car and drives out of town to the golf club. He stood up in an open field - there were no other players - and prepared to hit.
At this time in paradise, an angel asks God whether this can be forgiven, since it is, in essence, a sin.
God agrees, it really is a mess.
The priest hits. The ball flies across the entire court, flies past all the holes and flies straight into the last, eighteenth hole.
Angel:
- Is this a punishment? ?
Creator:
- Do you think anyone will believe him?
Perestroika. A priest and a cop are walking, complaining to each other about hard times. Suddenly they see two people fighting furiously. The cop just wanted to separate him when the priest held him back:
- It’s not time yet, my son, wait...
Those two are already killing each other - the priest is still holding the cop. Finally, one of the fighters falls dead.
Priest to policeman:
- Now it’s time, my son... Let’s go... One is yours, the other is mine!
One old priest was so tired of listening to confessions
about the adultery of all the people in his area, that on one Sunday
said from the pulpit,
- If I hear that even one more person admits to adultery,
then I will leave you!
Since everyone loved him, the parishioners came up with a little trick. If
someone has committed adultery, he will be said to have “fallen.” This,
as it turned out, the old priest was completely satisfied. Everything was going well
until the priest died. A week after arrival, concerned new
the priest visited the mayor of the city and excitedly reported
- You must urgently take care of the sidewalks in the city. When people come
come to me for confession, then almost everyone says that they fell.
The mayor began to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest
regarding the substitution of words. Before the mayor could explain anything,
the priest shook his finger and said in a stern voice,
- I don’t know what’s so funny, but even your wife fell this week.
three times.
One young man confesses to a Catholic priest:
– I played the violin a lot and very passionately!
- My son, this is not a sin. Go in peace!
Behind him, another young man also calls playing the violin a sin during confession.
Then the third, fourth, fifth. Although the priest is surprised, he absolves everyone’s sins without punishment.
Then a young girl comes into the booth and says:
– I allowed myself to be played like a violin!
The priest jumps out of his booth and shouts:
– The whole string orchestra comes to me once again!
And laughter and sin.
The priest said while smoking weed.
After a long sermon, the priest asked the parishioners if they were ready to forgive their enemies. About half of them raised their hands. Dissatisfied with the result, the priest continued talking for another 20 minutes, and then repeated his question. This time, about 80% of the parishioners raised their hands. The priest preached for another 15 minutes and again asked if they were ready to forgive their enemies. The tired parishioners responded unanimously, with only one elderly lady abstaining.
- Mrs. Jones, are you not ready to forgive your enemies?
“I have no enemies,” answered the old woman.
- It is amazing! And how old are you?
- Ninety three.
- Mrs. Johnson this is amazing, please come forward and tell us how a person can live to be 93 years old without having a single enemy.
The little sweet old lady slowly walked into the center of the temple, turned to the parishioners and said:
- It's elementary. I simply survived these creatures.
One day a bus driver died. He approached the gates of heaven, knocked, and introduced himself to St. Peter. He found his name in his Book, looked at something there and said:
- Yes, you are allowed access to heaven. Here are your clothes made of silk brocade, and a golden staff - come in!
The driver got dressed and entered heaven. Next in line was the priest, who watched all the procedures with interest. Now he said
St. Peter gave his name, he looked at something in the book and said:
- You are also allowed into heaven. Here are some burlap clothes and a wooden staff for you. You can come in.
The priest protested:
- But how can that be? I’m a priest, I gave my whole life to God. Do I really deserve less than some driver?
And St. Peter answers,
- For us in heaven, the main thing is the result. You were a bad priest, and people slept during your sermons. And he drove the bus in such a way that during the day thousands of people prayed to God!
A priest who did not believe in Darwin's theory was killed and eaten by a stronger and fitter priest.
- Do you want to confess?
“Never,” answered the old man.
- Why?
- Because I am a JEW.
- I'm so happy! I tell everyone
An old man comes into the church and addresses the priest:
- I would like to talk to you alone.
- Do you want to confess?
- Well, uh... Confess, confess like that.
The old man says that he is 86 years old, his wife died 36 years ago, and during this time he has never had sex. But 2 days ago he took one Viagra tablet and spent the whole night with two young girls.
- What else? - asked the priest.
“That’s all,” answered the old man. The surprised priest asked:
- When was the last time you confessed?
“Never,” answered the old man.
- Why?
- Because I am a JEW.
- JEW??? What are you doing in church and why are you telling me all this?
- I'm so happy! I tell everyone!
Good afternoon.
- I wish you good health!
-Are you really a priest?
- Yes sir!
A new priest asks a parishioner how she likes his sermons.
- Amazing. You could say that we didn’t know anything about sin until you came to us!
Once again absolving sins, the priest came to the conclusion that the worst sinners are the righteous: because of them you can easily find yourself without a job...
Priest at the sermon:
- My children! What should you do first of all to ask for forgiveness for your sins?
Girlish timid voice:
- Sin?
Doctor, is this serious?
- I'm not a doctor, I'm a priest.
At the gun store, the priest chooses a pistol for himself. Salesman:
- Father, why do you need this?
- My son, some people don’t believe in God, but they really want to see him!
The new Russian asks the priest:
- Father, if I donate one hundred thousand euros to the temple, will I find salvation in Heaven?
The priest, after thinking a little, answers:
- I can’t give any guarantees, my son... but I think it’s worth a try!
In the church, the priest says to the young groom:
- To the question “Do you agree to become a husband?” you have to answer “I agree” and
not "Come what may"!
Priest in the church:
- Whoever swears in church, I will beat him with a stick!
- Forgive me, Holy Father, but you yourself said “fuck off”?
- Get fucked, you damned one!
A beauty with a deep neckline came to confession to the priest.
The priest looks into the neckline and repeats: "Oh, God!"
A voice comes from heaven:
“Well, finally you called me to something worth looking at!”
A young girl and a Catholic priest are sitting next to each other on the plane. The plane comes in to land and the girl turns to the priest:
- Padre! I'm very embarrassed to ask you, but could you help me? The fact is that I bought myself a new expensive razor for women, which needs to be declared. But I do not have money! Be so kind as to hide this razor under your cassock, the customs officers won't notice anything!
- My daughter! - the priest answers. - It’s a sin to lie! But my duty is to help people, I will try to come up with something.
The plane has landed, passengers pass through the customs control strip. The customs officer asks the priest:
- Father, do you have anything under your cassock that needs to be declared?
- No above the waist, my son.
- And below the belt?
- And below the belt I have a device for women, which no one has used yet.
- Everything is clear, come in. Next!
The thief came to the church for absolution. But out of inertia, he stole the priest’s watch.
“Tell me,” the priest asked him, “what sins are on your conscience?”
- I stole a watch from a good person. Do you want me to give them to you?
- No, they need to be returned to whoever they belong to.
- But he doesn't want it.
- If so, keep them and don’t be sad.
The priest rose from his knees and announced to the congregation:
- Today there is a man here who started flirting with someone else’s wife. If he doesn't put five dollars on the plate, I'll call his name from the pulpit.
When the dish went around the worshipers and returned to the priest, there were nineteen five-dollar bills on it and separately two dollars with a note: “I will bring three dollars tomorrow.”
God told people that there were 3 days left before the Great Flood.
Orthodox priest at a sermon:
- Let’s live out the last 3 days with dignity, and drink the vodka so that it doesn’t go to waste...
Muslim imam in the mosque:
- Let’s find out the taste of forbidden pork, since it’s going to disappear anyway...
Rabbi in the synagogue:
- Brothers and sisters! We only have 3 days left to learn to live underwater!
After 15 years of serving as a priest in the parish, Father Pasquale held a farewell party. A famous politician was invited to the evening to give a short ceremonial speech. The politician was late, and the priest decided to say a few words to his congregation to occupy the time.
“I got my first impression of the community from the first confession I heard here, and I thought that the archbishop had sent me to a terrible place. The first person who confessed told me that he stole a TV and money from his parents, and committed theft at work , had a fascinating intimate relationship with his boss's wife, and occasionally sold drugs.And, to top it all off, he admitted to giving his sister a sexually transmitted disease.
I was dumbfounded and shocked. But over time, I got to know the rest of the parishioners and saw that not everyone is like that - I saw good and responsible people.
This is how 15 years of my career as a priest passed. "
And then a politician appeared who was supposed to give a long-awaited speech. Apologizing for being late, he began: “I will never forget the day when our priest appeared here for the first time. I was lucky enough to be the first to confess to him...”
Two priests set up a sign on the road with the inscription: “Stop, the end is near! Turn around before it’s too late!”
A truck drives past them at great speed, the driver shouts and waves his fist:
Two priests set up a sign on the road with the inscription: “Stop, the end is near! Turn around before it’s too late!” A truck drives past them at great speed, the driver shouts and waves his fist:
- Damned sectarians, you've had enough of them already!
The car disappears around the bend, and a rumble and a loud gurgle can be heard from there.
One priest says to another:
- It looks like you were right, you should have simply written “The bridge is destroyed.”
At confession.
- Holy Father, I have no more strength. There is not enough money, the children need to be raised. I don’t know how to live further.... And I want to eat deliciously and dress well.
- These are all temptations from the devil! Accept what is. And be patient.
- Holy Father, I saw very luxurious big cars in your yard...
Priest, interrupting:
- You noticed everything correctly! Do you know what their consumption is? Liters 20-25. And we suffer too! Where to go?
A very elderly man came to the priest and asked:
- Tell me, father, is it possible that I could be the father of the child that my 18th wife gave birth to today? But I’m almost seventy... Maybe this is a miracle created by God?
“I’ll tell you a story now,” said the priest. “I was once in the desert and suddenly I saw a lion rushing towards me. I raised my cane like a rifle, took aim, and when the lion was very close, I shouted: “PU!” The lion fell dead...
- I understand, it was the work of God!
- Not really: behind me there was a hunter with a real gun.
Funeral. A young woman buries her husband.
A widow in deep mourning, her eyes red from tears.
The priest reads a prayer and pronounces words of consolation to the family and friends of the deceased.
“This is how this world works,” says the holy father. - We will all sooner or later depart to another world. Death is a mystery, but in the mystery there is a door. Today your dear son, husband and father opened this door, he left us, but he will forever remain in our hearts. We will always remember his bright image... And when it is especially difficult for you... (addresses the young widow) remember how you loved this man, how warm and joyful you were next to him. Remember his face, his hands, his last words... Do you remember his last words?
- Yes, Holy Father.
- And what did he say?
- With this gun, cow, you won’t even hit an elephant!
The priest was very upset that his parishioners were not giving enough. And he decided to take up hypnosis.
On Sunday, he heated the stove in the church hot, read the sermon slowly and monotonously, took out a shiny pocket watch on a chain and held it so that it swayed.
When the congregation fell asleep, he said:
They donated a fair amount of money to him, and he decided to repeat the same thing the following Sunday.
He heated the stove again, did everything the same, said:
- You are all generous and kind. You are very pleased to donate all the money in your wallet to charitable causes!
And then it turned out that the parishioners, taught by experience, did not take money with them.
In his hearts the priest said:
- Well, you are assholes!
He had to clean the church for a whole week.
- Father, let's save ourselves!
- No need, God will save me!
- No need, God will save me!
- Well, as you know, father.
- No need, God will save me!
- Well, look for yourself...
- No need. God will save me!
And God answered him:
During the church service, a heavy downpour began outside and did not stop for several hours in a row. The river overflowed its banks. Slowly the church begins to flood. People are gradually leaving. The pastor remains where he is. One of the parishioners says to the priest standing ankle-deep in water:
- Father, let's save ourselves!
- No need, God will save me!
The water keeps coming. The priest is already knee-deep in water.
A truck pulls up and a guy leans out of it:
- Hey, father! Let's get into the car and let's escape!
- No need, God will save me!
- Well, as you know, father.
The water is coming. Already up to the pastor's chest.
A boat floats up, a guy looks out of it and says:
- Father, let's get into the boat. Save yourself!
- No need, God will save me!
- Well, look for yourself...
The water is already reaching the priest's throat.
A helicopter flies in, a guy leans out of it and shouts, throwing off a rope ladder:
- Father, get in here! Save yourself!
- No need. God will save me!
And a wave covered the pastor. And he drowned. I woke up - in heaven.
He immediately runs to God and shouts:
- Why didn’t you save me? I was counting on you so much!!!
And God answered him:
- Listen, I sent you a man, a truck, a boat, a helicopter. What more did you need?!
The pastor went into the bar to use the restroom. From the street he heard
loud music, and then suddenly everything went silent, all the dancers stopped
and stared at him. The priest, a little embarrassed, approached the bartender
and asked,
- Excuse me, can I use your toilet?
The bartender looked at him sympathetically and said,
- I wouldn’t advise you.
- Why? - asks the pastor, - I really can’t stand it!
- OK. Just keep in mind that there is a statue of a naked woman with a fig
leaf!
“Nonsense,” the pastor replies, “I’ll look the other way.”
The bartender showed the door to the clergyman and he went to the toilet. Through
a few minutes, he leaves there, and in the bar, everything started to rumble again
and jumped. He approached the bartender and shouted,
- Sir, I don't understand! When I entered here from the street everything was quiet, and when
returned from the toilet, then ended up in a nativity scene! What kind of disrespect for a servant
Gentlemen!
- Order! Now you are one of us. - the bartender says smiling, - What do you want?
pour?
- I do not understand anything. Explain, please! - shouts the puzzled pastor.
“You see,” says the bartender, laughing, “every time someone
lifts the fig leaf on the statue, it flashes above my counter
a whole garland of lights! So how about having a drink?
Can the wrong structure of church life cause irreparable harm to a person? What relationships between confessor and parishioners can be called destructive? The clergy are thinking.
When the priest gives up
Archpriest Dimitry Klimov, rector of the Cathedral of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker (Kalach-on-Don, Volgograd region)
An incorrect arrangement of church life can destroy both parishioners and the priest.
For example, a young priest presents his ministry as a kind of spiritual work, pastoral, missionary. And today church life is often transferred to the level of official reporting; it becomes more bureaucratic. And it happens that the priest gives up: in the case when you do something, and then you realize that you still do not meet all the requirements that come down from above. As a result, the priest waves his hand and says: I won’t do anything at all.
As for not current, but eternal problems, this, of course, is that people unload all their troubles onto the priest. It is very difficult to live in this constantly.
The priest becomes like a surgeon who, just starting his career, tries to delve into the problems, pain, and experiences of his patients, and then becomes a cynic.
He understands that if he takes everything to heart, he will simply become stressed and will not be able to bear all this burden.
That’s why it happens that a priest puts up a wall to a person: he listens, he listens, he seems to nod his head, but he doesn’t take anything to heart. And that's not very good. But if you take everything too seriously, then the question of the priest’s mental health will arise. Because not everyone can handle it.
It’s good when a priest has some kind of outlet where he can unload in a psychological sense. Or he comes to a family, and there they create a calm, comfortable climate for him, where he can relax, recharge, or have a hobby, some interests other than his ministry, where he can also switch a little and get distracted.
The priest may act too arrogantly towards the parishioners. When, for example, a young priest comes to a parish, he understands that he is the rector, the head of the parish, and begins to rule without listening to anyone’s advice. At first it seems to him that he is breaking through the ice surface like an icebreaker. Then he realizes that he is only breaking through his own keel with this ice.
As a result, contradictions accumulate and parishioners begin to confront each other. Young priests, faced with such problems of rejection in the parish, sometimes become discouraged: “I can’t do anything!” instead of analyzing your behavior.
Everyone goes to Church; people can bring their psychological, even psychiatric problems. A person with a twisted soul walks around and can pass off his stupidity or some kind of masochism as humility, and the priest can indulge all this.
All this, of course, happens. But these are already pathological moments.
It happens that a parishioner fell in love with a priest. The priest needs to behave smartly in this situation. On the one hand, do not drive her away from the temple, and on the other hand, do not give rise to further fantasies.
Quite often a priest is faced with the infantilism of parishioners, when a person really does not know how to make decisions and constantly asks the priest about everything. And this can also be taken as humility.
I stop such things. Once a person asks me, the second, third time I no longer talk about these topics. He's losing interest in me.
It happens that young people come to Church, see a core of older parishioners around them, and inevitably become like them themselves. So, a girl, a young woman, believes that it is correct, in a Christian, churchly way, to behave like an eighty-year-old grandmother: to dress and talk the same way.
You can understand that there is a destructive relationship between the priest and parishioners only by looking at them from the outside. It’s good when one of the nearby serving shepherds pays attention to this and begins to correctly give his brother some advice.
Or, if a brother does not listen to this advice, then act through the bishop. There were cases when people sold property and then gave the money to the priest. Or “wise shepherds” forced people to get divorced, sell their homes, and leave somewhere, because the Antichrist would soon come.
The more closely and openly people communicate in the parish, the faster this kind of thing will come out and become noticeable.
Trust the first priest or choose
Archpriest Maxim Pervozvansky, editor-in-chief of the magazine “Heir”
When we say that parents ruined the life of an already adult child, church life destroyed a person, for some reason we believe that a person is simply an object, the result of some external influence. In fact, a person is the result of his own choices.
A classic example: a person came to Church to completely trust his confessor. I read books about complete obedience and came to the first parish, and trusted the first priest. And the priest was caught in such a way that, due to his youth, naivety or, on the contrary, indifference, he did not even notice that they were completely obeying him, or that he was leading completely incorrectly. As a result of this bad leadership, a person comes to some kind of internal crisis. Who is to blame for this? Priest? Holy Synod? Did mom and dad raise this man this way?
Archpriest Maxim Pervozvansky.
But we make our own choices in life: left, right, get married, don’t get married, shoot yourself, don’t shoot yourself. It is clear that, as a result of our life path, we can come to a point when, in fact, we no longer choose anything. But external influence is just a trend. It is what facilitates or hinders, pushes or delays.
I worked for many years in the Orthodox education system, including at a boarding school. Take, for example, a small group, ten or twenty people. Of these, the school had a stunning effect on approximately five of them. These people love God, the Church, they are active, they have somehow made a decision in life, they have received a charge for their future life, they have received a good education, and so on. For some, studying had no effect. And two or three graduates leave the Orthodox school as embittered atheists, because the same influences that had a positive influence on the first five turned out to be or seemed destructively cynical for them.
I now have a vivid, difficult life example of the last month. In two familiar families, newborn babies died. In one family, this led to an amazing unity and unity of husband and wife, when together they were able to support each other, and their love strengthened, their faith strengthened. They became, despite such a terrible event, clearly stronger and closer to God. And for another family, this actually led to divorce due to continuous mutual reproaches, the desire to blame each other for what happened.
We can assume that if church life is organized perfectly correctly, absolutely holy, there will still be people who will not perceive something or will perceive it incorrectly. Even the Lord had one of his disciples become a thief and a traitor.
Of course, when something happens to you, all sorts of different thoughts come into your head, including condemning and blaming others. One person gives free rein to these thoughts. As a result, after a month of this struggle, he comes to the conclusion that the other is completely to blame, and he hates him. And the other doesn’t give space to these thoughts. He simply drives them away. That is, everything depends on how a person cultivates his own garden of the soul.
Serious spiritual life without obedience is impossible. But there is a danger that the person will be manipulated. And if he finds himself in a situation where no one puts much pressure on anyone, no one educates, everyone joyfully sings “Hallelujah!”, the person will simply never know what spiritual life is. But he probably won’t have those dangers.
The more seriously a person takes spiritual life, the greater the dangers. It's like walking into the mountains. If you are lying on a beach in Thailand, then of course there is a danger of a tsunami. But still, the main danger is getting sunburned. And if you are planning to climb Everest, then everyone knows what the survival rate is there.
Of course, there are various negative trends and phenomena. There are neurotic parishes or priests. But, I repeat, the choice remains with the individual. A person, even when he has nowhere to go, can make a meaningful and conscious decision.
And that murder is not a crime ©
A young priest, who has just completed his studies, comes to church. The priest says to him:
- Go read the sermon!
He comes, he is afraid, for the first time after all. Another priest took pity on him and said:
- My son, go to the altar, stay, and boldly go read, everything will work out.
Well, he went and stayed. In the morning he wakes up - his head is square, all askew, smelling of fumes. Fits Butt:
- Holy Father, how did I scold you yesterday?
- Well, in general, nothing, but there were some inaccuracies...
- At least tell me which ones so that I don’t repeat myself...
- Well, okay... But I told you to stay, and not to show off, they go to the altar on two legs, not four, they don’t tuck their cassock into their underpants, they wave the censer back and forth, and not over their head, they knock the crucifix on the table no need, parishioners, not dudes, Christ was crucified by Jews, not cops, in the Holy Scriptures, except for the Mother of God, no other Mother of God is mentioned, you need to say not “fuck you, sinner,” but “the Lord will forgive you everything,” there were 12 Apostles, and not 12 oZdylov, at the end of the service you should let him go in peace, and not send him to hell, the prayer ends with “Amen”, not “fucked up”, the missal is a book, not a glass holder, the mantle of the image of Jesus Christ is not a tablecloth, not we need to call Our Savior Jesus Christ and his apostles “Jesus and his gang”, David killed Goliath with a sling, not “killed”, you don’t need to call Judas a “fucking bastard”, you don’t need to talk about the Pope: “Our Roman boss” , Judas sold Jesus in the Sanhedrin, and not “in one seedy place”, he sold him for thirty coins, and not for “thirty”, Father, Son and Holy Spirit are not “Daddy, Son and Ghost”. And lastly - most importantly - I don't need to be called a "transvestite in a red skirt."
Letter:
Hello, dear daughter!
If you receive this letter, it means that it has reached you. If not, then let me know and I will write to you again. I write slowly because I know that you are not a very fast reader. Our weather is good. Last week it rained only twice: at the beginning of the week, for 3 days, and towards the end, for 4 days. By the way, about the coat you wanted, Uncle Vasya said that if you send it with these cast buttons, it would be too expensive in terms of weight, so I cut them off. After sewing them back, I put them in the right pocket. Your dad found a new job. There are 500 people under him! He mows the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Nastya recently got married and is expecting a baby. We don't know what gender he is, so I can't tell you yet whether you'll be an uncle or an aunt. If it's a girl, she wants to name her like me. It’s a bit of a strange decision to name your daughter Mom. An incident recently happened to your brother Tolya: he locked his car and left the keys inside. He had to walk home (10 kilometers!) to get the second set of keys and let us out of the car. If you suddenly meet your cousin Lilya, then say hello to her from me. If you don't meet her, don't tell her anything.
Your mother.
P.S.: I wanted to send you some money, but I already sealed the envelope.
Three o'clock in the morning. Bar. All closed.
A German mouse sticks out of a mink, looks around - there is no cat, rushes to the bar, pours himself a beer, drinks and flies as fast as he can back to the mink.
A minute later, a French mouse appears, looks around - there is no cat, also rushes to the bar, pours itself some wine, drinks and also runs into the hole.
Mexican mouse sticks out - no cat - tequila - mink.
A Russian mouse looks out - there is no cat, runs to the bar, pours 100 grams. vodka, drinks, looks around - no cat, pours a second, drinks - no cat,
pours a third, then a fourth and a fifth.... After the fifth, he sits down, looks around - well, there’s no cat! He stretches his muscles, lights a cigarette and mutters angrily:
- Well, nothing... We'll wait...
Lecture at the Faculty of Psychology. The teacher says:
- Now I will show you three degrees of irritability.
A telephone is brought into the classroom and put on tap so that students can hear not only the teacher, but also the person speaking on the other side. The teacher randomly presses the buttons and dials a number, a couple of beeps and a voice:
- Hello!
- Young man, you must have the wrong number, there is no Lyuba here.
The teacher hangs up and tells the students:
- This is the first degree of irritability. Now I'll show you the second one.
Dials the same number.
- Hello!
- Sorry, can Lyuba come to the phone?
- Young man, I explained to you in Russian, there is no Lyuba here. Are you dialing the correct number?
He hangs up and says:
- This is the second degree of irritability.
He dials the same number again.
- Hello!
- Sorry, can Lyuba come to the phone?
- Man, are you a complete moron, a complete idiot!!! I'm sick of calling, you asshole!!!
He hangs up and says:
- And here is the third degree of irritability.
The whole audience is laughing, suddenly one girl raises her hand:
- Can I show the fourth degree of irritability?
He picks up the phone and dials the same number as the teacher.
- Hello!
- Hello! I am Lyuba. Nobody asked me?