Loneliness of men: causes and features

When there are so many unsettled women of all ages around, the loneliness of men seems like a far-fetched problem. Some women are ready to warm up a man, others want to warm up themselves. Men are so in demand that it seems that loneliness does not threaten them. However, according to the State Statistics Committee, there are more single men aged 25-30 years than single women. In addition, every second marriage today breaks up, and men are in no hurry to re-enter into legalized relationships.

Loneliness of men through the eyes of women

For women, every man living alone, without a permanent partner, is a potential candidate for a life partner. Not because she necessarily wants to solve her problems at his expense. As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains, according to the law of nature, it is the man who gives the woman a feeling of security and safety in life. In turn, a man achieves maximum fulfillment when paired with a woman, because all his actions are performed for her sake.

It is unlikely that a woman reflects on the problem of how loneliness manifests itself in men. More often she wonders why the man still won’t marry her. And he finds quite simple explanations for this:

- still young;

- didn’t have enough time, womanizer;

- mommy's boy;

- narcissistic egoist;

- does not want to take responsibility;

- greedy.

These are the types of men - their loneliness may even be a blessing for a woman (so we convince ourselves). By labeling and placing stigmas, women do not help a man escape from a state of loneliness.

“Personal” reasons are also often found - when loneliness is perceived by a man as a state he himself desires: the possibility of spiritual growth, a sense of self-sufficiency, professional necessity, the requirements of a certain subculture.

If you understand the reasons for their loneliness, you can find a way to make a happy couple out of two lonely people.

It is clear that being alone and loneliness are not the same thing.

A man who voluntarily chooses to live alone does not experience a lack of communication or a feeling of loneliness. This is his freedom.

A completely different thing is the forced loneliness of a man as a result of a breakup. A person can experience both a feeling of liberation and unbearable emptiness and despair - it all depends on how strong the emotional connection with the lost woman was.

Sometimes a man’s loneliness does not depend on his marital status and the number of people around him. He is a “stranger among his own,” and his loneliness is more psychological, the reason for which is sometimes not realized by the person himself.

This means that we can conditionally distinguish the following types of loneliness:

- physical, when a person lives alone by choice or forcedly;

- emotional (psychological) loneliness.

Loneliness, its victims and admirers

This depends, according to system-vector psychology, on what vectors nature awarded us at birth. We - both men and women - differ from each other in a set of innate desires, qualities, properties, and aspirations. This further explains differences in attitudes towards the opposite sex and family values, outlook on life, goals and ways to achieve them.

Some men who prefer to live alone are surrounded by people throughout the day, they are in the thick of things. Such people are endowed with a skin vector that pushes them to search for new sensations and impressions. They do only what they consider useful and profitable. They rarely take into account the desires of their partner, do not tolerate being pressured, and do not allow themselves to be manipulated.

At the same time, they attract women with their status and financial well-being, their ability to adapt to life changes and find a way out of difficult situations. It is useful for women who decide to win such a loner to know that these men do not put their family and its interests first in the ranking of their life values. They may even be proud of their loneliness, their independence from their partner.

The tendency to experience the feeling of loneliness especially acutely depends on the presence of such vectors in a man as anal, visual or sound. They are the ones who suffer and suffer from loneliness, not knowing how to get rid of the feeling of being useless.

A loner with the makings of a family man

The life values ​​of a person with an anal vector are woman, children, family. He is assigned by nature the role of a faithful husband, incapable of deceiving his wife. From birth he is endowed with all the necessary qualities of a loving son and the best father. He is the head of the family. Honest, loyal, reliable.

“The best” is about him. Such a man, by definition, should not be lonely. But it is he who is left by women who do not appreciate his mental structure, leaving him deeply offended.

Mommy's boy, a weakling, unable to make a decision (even about marriage) without his mother's approval, a couch potato, slow-witted, unable to get money... And this is all about him, too, about a lonely man with an anal vector.

System-vector psychology explains what leads to loneliness of a contender for the title of the best family man.

Unhurried by nature, this man takes a painfully long time to make decisions, especially those that can cause changes in life. It takes him more than one or two months to propose to a girl. The bill can last for a year or two. Not every woman agrees to remain in uncertainty about her future. It is because of this that relationships in couples are often destroyed, the man is accused of being dependent on his mother and remains alone.

Loneliness due to bad experiences

All properties of the psyche, including unique memory, are given to the owner of the anal vector to fulfill his specific role - to collect and transmit knowledge, experience and traditions accumulated by all previous generations. The positive qualities of any vector take on the opposite meaning if a person is under prolonged stress, depression, or for some reason was unable to realize his innate qualities.

Likewise, the memory of the owner of the anal vector often plays a bad role if the first relationship with a girl was unsuccessful, the couple broke up badly, or there was a divorce. The memory reliably stores all the grievances experienced, the man cannot leave the feeling of guilt for not being able to maintain the relationship, and shame for the fact that this happened to him. He a priori considers all subsequent women dirty, deceitful and unworthy. He doesn’t trust them, so new relationships don’t work out, the girls leave, grievances multiply, loneliness finally settles in his house.

Accusations that he is a mummy's boy are explained by the fact that in such a man it is inherent in elevating his mother to the rank of saints. Good or bad, loving or making mistakes in raising a son, this is a special woman in his life, even if his resentment against his mother has long acquired destructive force. This attitude towards the mother leads to excessive attachment to her and dependence on her.

This, by the way, does not always please the mother, who cannot wait for those “good hands” to be found into which she can hand her son over. If these “kind hands”, thanks to the knowledge of systemic psychology, turn out to be wise enough not to be indignant at such an attitude towards the mother, but find a positive side for themselves in this, this will benefit everyone.

And it happens that the mother herself supports this attachment with all her might, citing pain. Or he constantly adds fuel to the fire of resentment: “All women only need money. Only mommy truly loves you.”

Eyes looking with longing

If a successful man with an anal vector also has a visual one, he is every woman’s dream. The visual vector is responsible for love, craving for beauty. This man knows how to arrange a holiday in a woman’s life, give beautiful gifts even with his last money. This is a romantic. For such a man, the severance of an emotional connection due to the breakup of a couple or the death of a life partner is tantamount to death.

The anal vector does not allow one to forget all the happy moments in life; the memory returns time after time to a dramatic event, forcing one to relive the unbearable pain of loss. Women are drawn to a man whose eyes reflect their inner melancholy, in the hope of helping them cope with it. However, he is in no hurry to enter into a new relationship.

Firstly, the presence of the anal vector makes a man a monogamous man, whose visual eyes snatch out similar girls from the crowd, making him shudder every time. He needs time to get used to a new person and start a relationship. The presence of a visual vector adds the fear of reliving the terrible moment of breaking up a relationship with a new girl. It hurts too much. It’s easier to keep the image of a departed loved one in your memory and remain alone.

Loneliness in the Universe

The most real loneliness, being among people, is experienced by men with a sound vector. The same ones who can read their poems to a woman in a quiet voice all night, teach her to understand the constellations, or, without any emotion, resuscitate her hopeless computer.

It seems that a person lives a full life, works, communicates, but inside him there is loneliness.

People do not understand his arrogance and detachment, and he does not understand their base interests and worries about everyday things. Girls irritate him with their stupidity and pursuit of material wealth, because he himself is far from all this. Depression arises, a terrible feeling of complete meaninglessness of life, from which sometimes one way out is seen - out the window.

His loneliness is constant, which is difficult to explain without familiarity with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Only systemic knowledge can help a woman overcome her misunderstanding of the nature of detachment and the desire to isolate herself from all men with a sound vector.

Overcoming loneliness

Women want to be happy around men. And some themselves have a hard time experiencing loneliness, so they are ready to give their warmth and care in order to return a man to a full, happy life as a couple. But without a correct diagnosis of what his loneliness is, it is difficult to choose the right “treatment.”

The knowledge of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will reveal the secrets that conceal the loneliness of each specific representative of the strong half of humanity. Invaluable support on the path from loneliness to happiness is provided by numerous reviews from those who have already traveled this path:

“...Such a crazy understanding of the realities and circumstances of life brings a colossal feeling of your presence among people and a huge surge of strength. And only now, with these crazy differences, do you begin to understand that you were once so tormented by a state of some kind of isolation and loneliness, even when you were among familiar people... And now you just begin to experience pleasure from seemingly simple things in life, such like just walking among other people.

And when moments of feeling lonely come, and somewhere behind you you hear a phrase like: “...listen, this weekend there are discounts of up to 70% in the market...” - from a complete stranger to you, and then more, and again and again, you feel a smile of recognition spreading inside. And today you don’t feel lonely, even when you’re among strangers!!!”

“...One of the main results of the training is that for the first time in my life I met true love!! Now it seems incredible and even mystical, but it is true. By the beginning of the training, I had been coming out of an unfulfilled relationship for more than a year, for which I initially grieved and teetered on the brink of apathy and depression. I felt incredibly lazy and saw no point in looking for another relationship.

Now, by the way, I can see quite calmly and crystal clearly why the previous relationship turned out the way it did. Knowing my vectors and the vectors of the previous girl explained everything and brought peace and some kind of quiet joy that everything turned out just like that...”

Feeling loneliness is bad for both men and women. It is possible to understand these conditions, become able to cope with them and return to a full, happy life in a free online training

Living alone is much better than living among unfulfilled promises and false love... Lately, such phrases have been heard more and more often in the conversations of men. And everything would be fine, but many of them do not understand that loneliness is like a swamp - the more you flounder, the faster you drown.

Experts spoke about male loneliness, reasons and ways to overcome it.

Male loneliness: an accident or a pattern

It's not just women who suffer from loneliness. Male loneliness is also not uncommon, it’s just not customary to talk about it in the same way as about female loneliness. In post-Soviet society, few people condemn bachelors who live on their own, while single women are “stigmatized.” But coping with long-term loneliness is just as difficult for men as it is for women, because this loneliness is not at all accidental. Most often, the reasons for loneliness lie in a man’s previous relationships, which for some reason did not work out; sometimes it happens that the reasons are in the upbringing of the man himself, for example, he believes that his chosen one should be ideal, and where to find one.

Loneliness of men through the eyes of women

Women perceive single men as a potential “trophy”. Few of them think about why a man over 30 or a man over 40 is lonely, why he prefers chronic loneliness to family, and does not want to start a serious relationship. It seems to them that this is simply because he has not met the one and only one who will win his heart. This may be true, but most often we are talking about depression, loneliness syndrome and other reasons that need to be seriously addressed. In other words, most often a young man needs to be treated, and not try to brighten up his loneliness so that he understands that here she is - the ideal woman he has been waiting for for years.

Are there consequences of male loneliness?

The consequences of male loneliness are just as negative as those of female loneliness. You shouldn’t think that men are stronger creatures who don’t care about all troubles. Psychology and esotericism are full of examples when a man, having decided to come to terms with loneliness, received a whole “bouquet” of problems. Problems in personal life sooner or later begin to “eat away” a person’s life. Many begin to have problems in their careers, many men follow the path of self-destruction, getting carried away by alcohol or some kind of harmful habits and addictions. Problems grow like a snowball and now the life of single men does not seem as wonderful as before.

Living alone is much better than living among unfulfilled promises and false love... Lately, such phrases are increasingly heard in the conversations of men.

Reasons for male loneliness

Failures in previous relationships

If some woman breaks a man’s heart, then he may decide to live alone and not let anyone else into his heart and home. Not only women suffer from the fact that their feelings were not shared and their love was betrayed. If the feelings were very strong, then the man can also become a loner.

Finding the perfect woman

A man could paint a picture of his future companion in such bright colors that now he simply cannot meet a woman who will match her. So he has to put up with loneliness until he finds his ideal. But the search for the ideal can drag on for years.

Negative attitude towards marriage

The choice of loneliness may be dictated by the fact that a man has a bad attitude towards marriage. Most often this happens when he has bad examples. For example, his parents lived like a dog and a cat, and the man believes that marriage is bad, constant scandals, crying children, responsibilities.

Lack of family values

There are also men who imagine themselves as Casanova and change women like gloves. For some reason they do not have family values; they see no point in limiting themselves to one woman. Such bachelors prefer to make pleasant acquaintances for one or several nights.

Financial instability

Some men don't want to start a serious relationship because they don't have a stable income. Most often, these are free men who, with age, understand that a family is a house, a wife and children, and you have to pay for all of it. They cannot or do not want to bear this financial burden.

Positive aspects of loneliness

If loneliness is temporary, then there is nothing wrong with it. While a man does not have a family, he can engage in personal and professional growth, build a career, play sports, and have fun with friends. The main thing is that this period does not drag on, because the danger of loneliness is that the habit of being alone develops unnoticed. But it is difficult to see the line beyond which the desire to be alone becomes chronic.

Negative sides of loneliness

As we have already said, the main thing is that the desire to be alone does not drag on for many years. As soon as it becomes chronic, you will have to seriously get involved in the fight against loneliness. Bad habits appear unnoticed, but eradicating them takes a lot of work. Many men have to turn to psychologists or specialists in the field of esotericism in order to get rid of the pain of loneliness and build a family.

And everything would be fine, but many of them do not understand that loneliness is like a swamp - the more you flounder, the faster you drown.

Ways to combat male loneliness

Sport

Sports and a healthy lifestyle are an excellent cure for all ills, including the fear of loneliness. In addition, in a sports club or on a stadium track there is every chance of meeting a woman who will win a man’s heart. You shouldn’t sit at home within four walls and run along the same route: home - work - home.

Job

To survive loneliness, you can throw yourself into work. This is an especially good recipe in younger years, when a man is just starting to climb the career ladder. While there is no family, he will be able to find time for everything that men who have a family and children cannot afford.

A pet

Getting a pet is one of the best recipes for combating the effects of loneliness. This could be a dog that will help overcome the fear of loneliness, because you will have to walk with it, which means leaving the house. Or some other animal that a man will like.

Friends

True friends will help you get out of any trouble, including the quagmire of loneliness. These can be bachelors like the man himself, or married (but always with a happy family life). The second option is even better, since the man will be able to get used to the idea of ​​a family.

Hobby

An interesting hobby will help you forget about your psychological problems (and total loneliness is one of them). Ideally, the hobby will be related to a healthy lifestyle and communication with other people, rather than sitting at home all day. So dancing is unlikely to pass for a hobby.

How to get rid of the fear of loneliness

Despite the pros and cons of loneliness, most men still do not want to remain alone for the rest of their lives. If you notice signs of a lonely man, we advise you to contact a psychologist or specialist in the field of esotericism. At first glance, it seems that there is nothing terrible in being single; you can be single until you are 40 years old, and then one fine morning get married, build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. In fact, single men are faced with a mountain of complexes, fears and blocks that prevent them from being happy in love. And the later this realization comes to them, the harder it is to get rid of them.

If you encounter a similar problem, contact Astro7 experts. Free for new clients!

We so often talk about female loneliness and do not mention male loneliness at all. In our understanding, it simply does not exist, because a man is a kind of superman who knows no loneliness and sadness. What do men themselves think about this? Let's try to understand the problem from the purely male perspective of Astro7 experts.

How does male loneliness manifest?

Girls, try a little experiment. Register on one of the dating portals, fill out a form and post a few of your photos. Regardless of your age and appearance, except in rare cases, you will simply be inundated with messages and invitations to a cafe within a week. It will even be difficult for you to sort out the diversity of candidates and write to everyone at least “I don’t like you. Sorry." But this won’t work with a man’s profile, because it’s the man who will have to send out a dozen messages and wait for a response from the girl he likes.

The real world is no different from the virtual one. A man, like a hunter, must take the first step. Of course, in the modern world, roles are gradually changing, but the number of representatives of the fair sex who dare to do such an act is significantly less than men. In order to take the first step and not be turned away, a man will have to show his positive qualities - attractiveness, social status and material wealth. However, as practice shows, among single men there are equally both losers and fully formed individuals who have a house outside the city, a good car and a bank account. If everything is clear with the first, then what should the second do, because by all indications he should be in great demand among women?

We often hear girls talk about how all worthy men are either married or have a dozen mistresses and simply don’t need another one, while on dating sites there are only losers, inadequate or looking for free sex. Is not it? But this is not true.

The reason for the loneliness of a successful man is simple. He spent a lot of time and effort to become worthy of female attention (I am beautiful, strong, rich and successful), but having received it, he understands that they “love” him thanks to his social status and material wealth. It’s just that no one needs him, no matter how handsome and smart he is. A standard scenario develops - he “sorts through” dozens of girls, changes lovers like gloves, in search of the only one who will appreciate him, and not his status and money. When it seems to him that he has found her, he marries and again plunges into making money, not for himself, but for his beloved and children. Gradually, in the eyes of his wife, he turns into a “wallet”, from which she is unable to tear herself away, even if there has been no love in the marriage for a long time. Such a union, of course, cannot be called happy. A breakup is just a matter of the spouses having patience and... time.

Male loneliness does not depend on material wealth and social status, because it is based on the fulfillment of sexual needs. We are not only talking about sex as a physiological act. It is extremely important for a man to feel important and significant in the life of his beloved, to hear compliments from her and feel support in all endeavors, to seduce and feel a sincere response. If he does not receive this, he becomes disappointed in his own strength and masculinity, and becomes either a “womanizer” or an effeminate creature.

Impact of the generic model

The origins of male loneliness should be sought in childhood, when others clearly draw the line between a girl and a boy. It is parents and kindergarten teachers and school teachers who lay the foundations of masculinity, responsibility for one’s own actions and independence, basic concepts of sexual literacy, and the relationship between a girl and a boy. No less important is the example of the father. What remains in the child’s memory forever is how the father treated his mother, whether he helped her, whether he supported her in various endeavors. After all, you cannot simply give your child the standard “kindergarten - school - university - work - family - children” if the child does not see its implementation in practice. Why should he do this if no one does it? It is in childhood that the attitude towards fear and contempt or respect and understanding for girls, shame or a normal attitude towards sex is laid down.

The father’s task is to pass on his own skills and life experience so that his son surpasses his parents, the mother’s task is to support her son in all endeavors, praise and encourage the right actions, and teach how to care for girls. Almost all character flaws (suppression and humiliation of weaker people, pride and arrogance, the feeling that everything can be bought, and “property” (house, car, girlfriend, etc.) can be disposed of at one’s own discretion, etc.) a man receives from his parents. In this case, even success will not make him happier in a relationship, because few women capable of truly loving can withstand such a “cocktail.”

What to do with male loneliness

The first thing spiritual practitioners advise is to humble yourself and turn loneliness into a comfortable state of solitude and complete self-sufficiency. But, unfortunately, going in search of spiritual truth, apart from broadening your horizons, will not solve your problem, because physiological and social needs will remain. Therefore, we do not recommend going to such extremes.

If the reason for your loneliness is a lack of masculinity, you should address it both physically and psychologically. Thus, you will not only improve your health and your own appearance, but also “earn” confidence in your own abilities. The ability to stand up for yourself, acquired, for example, in martial arts classes, will help you both defend your property in a fight with local hooligans and realize your potential professionally.

Try to understand yourself and the feelings that overwhelm you. Excessive aggression, jealousy, power and other negative traits should be balanced. If you are tormented by a feeling of guilt and shame for some actions that you have committed in the past, try to analyze them, draw appropriate conclusions and step forward, leaving the whole past behind. Having built the correct channel, you can easily cope with the flow and move forward and only forward. You should not “stop” and take revenge on those responsible for your loneliness, because this will not bring you happiness and well-being.

In recent years, there has been a trend in which strong women take weak men “under their wing.” It is caused by the fact that more and more representatives of the fairer sex are making good careers and earning money. Also, some girls are simply impressed by the feeling that a man is completely dependent on them. The mistake of strong men is that they regard every strong personality as an adversary, not an ally, and begin to compete with him. And weak men, falling into the hands of such a mistress, feel comfortable and cozy, giving her completely all the reins of power.

Everyone seeks salvation from male loneliness in their own way. Someone sits at work for days and days and builds their own career, someone works hard, trying to achieve ideal biceps parameters on their arms, someone spends time in the company of friends with a glass of beer or goes to local “eating” establishments. Men try to spend more time where they will receive maximum attention and recognition.

But you can only get out of loneliness consciously, by ceasing to feel sorry for yourself, by not being afraid to set goals and take the first steps towards their implementation. The only way! Analyze your character, start “pumping up” your own masculinity, invite the girl you like to a cafe and you won’t even notice how quickly loneliness will recede.

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Both men and women strive for romance and harmony in their personal lives, they want to feel the warmth and support of their loved ones. It is difficult for single people to achieve something in life, to enjoy every day, to realize their goals. Male loneliness is difficult to explain by statistics and the characteristics of the characters of the stronger sex, because this can only concern women. This is an incomprehensible phenomenon and therefore remains mysterious.

Why men's loneliness is perceived differently

Loneliness is like the smell of a poisonous plant: it is pleasant, but intoxicating and over time becomes destructive for the strongest people. © Friedrich Spielhagen

Women, leading psychologists and men of different ages and social status explain the reasons for male loneliness in different ways. If guys can cite the need to study a lot and build a career, lack of time for acquaintances and meetings, then men in adulthood look for an excuse in the fact that they failed to meet true love. Some position their loneliness as freedom, the absence of any duties and responsibilities. They attribute these concepts to the advantages of male loneliness.

The overwhelming majority of representatives of the stronger sex want to have a stable relationship, an established life, and children at the age of thirty. In their opinion, they can already build their entire future career, a program for their implementation, while being family members. It doesn’t even matter to them whether their marriage will be official, or whether they will simply live together with their chosen ones. The main thing is that men are conscious of the fact that having a family is a must, and they should choose a reliable life partner.

However, the number of young men who have not started a family by the age of thirty is growing every year. They begin to understand that the older they get, the fewer opportunities they have to organize their lives. Very often, men refer to their own shyness, excessive modesty, or even timidity in front of women. They find advantages in this situation, because they have time and energy for professional growth. Thus, young men reassure themselves and focus on prioritizing social status and achieving material well-being.

Living alone as a man: an accident or a pattern

Single men increase their self-esteem, become confident, and then strive to maintain their position, the main advantage of which they consider freedom. It’s rare that anyone can say “stop” to themselves and think that it’s time to switch from a career to starting a family. Male loneliness becomes familiar to them and, in their opinion, a natural state.

Successful people who do not strive to fight their loneliness do not conform to generally accepted norms, and become objects of gossip and gossip. They have no need to change their habits, and some of them even consider themselves happy people, which causes bewilderment among others. They perceive them as antisocial individuals and treat them with pity.

If a man is already over thirty, and has never been married or had a permanent long-term relationship, the fairer sex around him thinks that he is “something different.” It doesn’t occur to them that perhaps he was stressed due to his first unsuccessful experience in organizing his personal life. It could be betrayal, disrespect, or the desire to be in charge. Most likely, such men need psychological release, a new acquaintance that will make them forget about past troubles.

Male loneliness, based on the fear of failure in relationships, can end in a meeting with someone who will change the entire world around him and make him look at it with a completely different look. The person will forget about his past, and the desire to live for the sake of his beloved will return to him.

It’s another matter if male loneliness is a source of pride, an integral part of the implementation of a program where the goal is material well-being multiplied by absolute freedom. Such a person cannot be convinced that his ideas and concepts are untenable, and that family life will bring positive changes and moods into his life.

Many women, without meaning to, scare men away with excessively high demands.

They insist that there should be a strong man next to them, who is able to provide for them and protect them from everyday adversities. But if their chosen ones have a vulnerable sense of self-esteem, they may understand that they cannot cope with such a mission, and withdraw into themselves. After all, not every man can take on the financial side. To do this, he needs to earn a lot in order to feel like a real master of the situation.

Male loneliness may also be the reason that a man was very critical of the choice of his half, and was always looking for some shortcomings in women. Some seemed immodest and overly liberated to him, others - bad housewives, and others did not suit their appearance. As a result, such men conclude that there is no, and cannot be, a worthy chosen one, and they begin to get used to bachelor life. It never occurs to them that the reason for this situation is their difficult character, pickiness or selfishness.

How a man can prepare himself for changes in life

To rethink his attitude towards his personal life, a man should take a blank sheet of paper and write on it the advantages of male loneliness, its negative aspects, and directions for further action.

1. The idea that a person should come to terms with his loneliness is untenable. He cannot, and should not, be alone, and all the “calming” theories about self-sufficiency are not confirmed by anything. This is a manifestation of escapism; instead of finding the right solutions, a person moves away from the problem, withdrawing even more into himself.
2. Changing your condition means gaining faith in yourself and your strength. You cannot justify failures in your personal life by lack of masculinity, the necessary financial condition or gentleness of character. You should be determined to take decisive and courageous actions, otherwise you will never be able to overcome loneliness.
3. When changing yourself for the better, you should not choose a path that will lead to the development of aggression, anger, and even cruelty. After all, being a man does not mean behaving like a wild male. This is an extreme that should be avoided. It is much preferable to become fearless, but at the same time noble and restrained, purposeful. You need to get rid of the negativity received as a result of previous failures, and not transfer it to new pages of life. All relationships should start from scratch.
4. If a man positions himself as weak, soft and compliant, and does not want to change anything about himself, it is worth reconsidering the approach to choosing his soul mate. After all, you can meet strong and self-sufficient women who prefer to have just such partners. Loneliness will be over, and the rest of the development of the relationship will depend on the two of you.
5. Those representatives of the stronger sex who are afraid to be around more successful women should set the goal of achieving career and professional growth, which will put both on the same level. This is a rather productive approach that will serve as an additional incentive for a man’s development.

How men escape loneliness

Men's loneliness forces them to seek salvation in communication with friends, in sports activities, in clubs and organizations. A person strives to find solace, to feel needed, to find recognition.

With such approaches, solving the problem can only be postponed, because this is only a temporary solution that will not change the situation as a whole. A person will remain lonely both in a circle of like-minded people, in the gym, and at home. Male loneliness will be within himself, and he will not be able to hide from it. The worst scenario could be excessive indulgence in alcohol, casual relationships and dubious companies. A person risks falling into the abyss, and he should come to his senses and reconsider his behavior.

Sooner or later, all friends will start families. Interest clubs will become unattractive, and meetings for intimate relationships with frivolous women will exhaust all mental resources. If we also don’t forget that the years are passing, then in five or six years it will be very difficult, almost impossible, to catch up.

A person cannot be alone. He still needs a companion with whom he would share all his joys and sorrows, on whose support he could count in any situation. Therefore, there is no reason to cling to male loneliness; it has never brought happiness to anyone, no matter how those who are proud of their imaginary freedom and apparent independence try to convince him of this.

Reasons for male loneliness

Psychologists have written many monographs and dissertations about the causes of male loneliness. Most experts tend to distinguish two groups of single men:

• The first group includes those who remain lonely due to their personal characteristics;
• The second group is people with spiritual characteristics who cannot step over their prejudices.

Every person strives to avoid stressful situations. For many people, new acquaintances bring a number of experiences, doubts, and require significant mental strength. Relationships involve communication, and the man has to talk about himself, about his past life. He will tremblingly await the assessment of his chosen one, because she may not like something in his words.

If he gets a low rating, he will have a desire to avoid new meetings, and the man will conclude that all relationships with the opposite sex will end for him in the same way. It is easier for him to remain alone than to make an attempt to improve his level and still normalize his personal life.

Men can be shy and indecisive by nature, and these qualities are perceived by women as weakness. They treat them with a degree of condescension, thereby exacerbating their desire to never look for new acquaintances. If this happens in adolescence, this psychological trauma can remain for life. The person will become afraid of relationships and will avoid them even in adulthood.

There is a type of man who cannot get rid of psychological dependence and emotional attachment to his mother. They inevitably compare all the women they meet with her, and reject them if they find nothing in common. In their minds, a mother is a model for a future wife, and they are not going to change this position. It will be almost impossible for them to find their chosen one with this approach.

Loneliness and the development of a single man

And in solitude there are divine, wonderful duties, and to perform them quietly is better than to have wealth. © Joseph Haydn

Many men believe that loneliness is an integral component of spiritual growth, a chance to achieve self-sufficiency. They are not distracted by dates, much less responsibilities, from the goals they have set for themselves. Moreover, emotional breakdowns and worries rob them of the strength and time necessary to implement their programs.

If a person believes that all relationships are burdensome for him, and he sees himself only in work, scientific activity or sports, there is no point in dissuading him of this. After all, this way of life is his choice, to which each of us has the right.

The development of a single man is an issue that is hotly debated. Some believe that results can only be achieved with the support of loved ones, while others are confident that one should begin to build the foundation of a family only when the main goals are achieved.

There is no single and correct solution here, because history knows examples when loved ones played the role of inspiring muses, without whom great people would not have been able to create their brilliant works. At the same time, there were situations when, due to unfulfilled relationships, some lost interest both in their creativity and in their whole life.

Male loneliness. This is quite an interesting topic because in the modern world many men feel lonely and lost. Some perceive this situation as a consequence of some stupid actions, while others themselves choose the path of a lone wolf.

Modernity

Let's start with the fact that male loneliness in the modern world is common for the reason that communication has become much more difficult. People make a lot of demands on each other, they want a lot, but they are not always ready to give the same response. Because of this, tension and tension arise in relationships. In turn, this puts psychological pressure on both men and women, which sometimes discourages them from building relationships.

Men who are unstable from a psychological point of view may be susceptible to various new trends and opinions of society. They are interested in new information and trust it without checking. That is why they tend to delve into themselves too actively, analyze certain actions and words, and immerse themselves in their inner world.

Reasons for male loneliness

A man can be lonely for several reasons. Conventionally, they can be divided into two types. The first includes pathological causes that are associated with disorders of the human psyche and personality. The second type includes existential reasons.

Let's consider the main pathological causes:

• Incorrect self-esteem, which manifests itself in the fact that a man under- or overestimates himself and his strengths. He may be too arrogant and arrogant, which will alienate the majority of people. At the same time, he may be too closed, unsure of himself and shy, which will also push those around him away. You shouldn’t go to extremes, it’s better to just stick to the golden mean and try to evaluate yourself adequately.
• Poorly developed ability to communicate with the outside world. This problem occurs in men who have had problems in their upbringing. They may have been raised apart or taught that the world around them is hostile. Such people have difficulty building relationships with others. It is difficult for them to trust, difficult to establish contact, make compromises, etc. Such men do not believe that there is sincerity, friendship, etc. in the world. They, in principle, do not understand what human relationships are built on.
• Social phobia. This phenomenon can be fully or partially revealed in a person. It manifests itself in the fact that the individual avoids appearing in society. He strives to get home as quickly as possible, to close himself off from someone there, not to let anyone into his world. Social phobia usually occurs after some serious upheaval. This can happen if a man has experienced a difficult breakup with his girlfriend. Also, the reasons may lie in childhood, but such cases should be worked through separately with a psychologist.
• Presence of psychopathology. Any mental abnormalities, as well as personality disorders, can cause a person to remain alone. Anyone who is aware of the presence of some defects in himself will deliberately avoid communication and society, so as not to frighten or seem strange. Anyone who is not aware of his psychopathology is simply obeying the inner desire to be alone.
• Codependent relationships. When a person is in a codependent relationship, he experiences constant stress. This leads to the desire to be alone. Besides, codependent relationships never lead to anything good. Such interaction ends either in a breakup, or it drags on for years and still ends in a painful breakup.
• Infantility. This is another good reason why single men do not change their lifestyle. When you are infantile, you can relieve yourself of responsibility, not stress, and live for your own pleasure. In addition, such men are often dependent on their mothers, and even completely trust them to lead their lives. They are very irresponsible, there is no point in building any relationship with them.

Existential reasons

Men's problems of loneliness are not always based on some pathologies; sometimes it can be an independent, informed decision. Let us list the main existential reasons:

• Spiritual growth. A man can separate in order to grow spiritually and develop his personality. It is for this reason that many people go to the mountains and become hermits. They want to limit themselves from social contacts and completely deprive themselves of communication. This is a truly interesting way of self-development, which only rare, highly spiritual men resort to.
• Subculture. Sometimes a man's loneliness is explained by the fact that he belongs to a certain subculture. For example, he may belong to some closed men's club, where it is not customary to be with a woman. There really are such organizations, their main criterion is loneliness. Such men try to convince themselves that they are complete on their own, without a woman, without a family, without social contacts.
• Behavior that is not accepted by the public. Many single men choose the path of the wolf simply because they do not live according to the rules of society. So, they may have some special passions and interests that do not violate the law, but nevertheless are not approved by the community. Such people are found quite often, so many are forced to hide their true desires and motives. However, sometimes male loneliness can be quite unsafe. Psychologists say that the longer a person is removed from society, the more rooted he becomes in his defective thoughts. So, if an individual who avoids communication has some negative tendencies that can be dangerous for other people, then the longer he is immersed in himself and his ideas, the higher the likelihood that he will decide to commit an illegal act.
• Self-sufficiency. Some people wonder how a man can live alone, but they don’t understand that a man can be self-sufficient. This is quite normal and natural, but in our society this idea is not always adequately perceived. It is one thing to completely reject any relationship and avoid society, and another thing to feel self-sufficient in solitude. Such people do not avoid any contacts and interactions. They communicate well with the outside world, but prefer to spend their free time alone. Very often such men have a rich spiritual life. They are concerned about many global issues. Also, such people can become lonely due to strong emotional experiences. And it must be said that a person must have great courage to face his problems and not avoid them. This privacy is very beneficial for both men and women because it allows for a certain amount of personal growth.
• Part of professional activity. The fact is that some professions require you to be alone. So, writers and people of creative professions are inspired by very strange things. They also need solitude so that they can focus on their thoughts and tune into a creative wave. This is not a deviation, but rather a haze of mystery with which creative people shroud themselves. At the same time, they really need solitude, because it allows them to focus on themselves and their experiences.

Pros of male loneliness

There are actually quite a few benefits to living as a hermit. Of course, there are also disadvantages, but everyone knows about them very well. What are the advantages of living alone?

Here are some of them:

• A man is responsible for his own happiness. This is actually so, for the simple reason that responsibility for one’s life belongs entirely to the person. He decides how to live, where to live, how to build his path. In addition, he is not tied to either place or circumstances. A guy's loneliness may be caused precisely by the fact that he is not ready to take responsibility for someone else, so he prefers a hermit lifestyle.
• Energy redistribution. When a person is alone for a long time, he learns to direct his energy to some main goal. So, if male loneliness is caused by the fact that the individual wants to achieve some results in his career or some other activity, then the choice of the path of a lone wolf is quite justified.
• Increased self-confidence. Men who consciously choose temporary alienation begin to understand themselves better. And also their self-confidence increases, because they understand that they feel good both alone and in company. They learn many things that they would not need in a relationship with a girl or in a family.
• Deep sleep. This is a rather funny reason, but when a person lives alone, he actually sleeps better. No one wakes him up, no one accidentally disturbs his rest, etc.
• Removal of responsibility. In a way, male loneliness allows you to feel a certain freedom, which is nothing more than a refusal of responsibility. When you live alone, you don’t need to worry too much about money or life. Enough to earn enough to support yourself. A man who is socially active takes on a certain role and responsibility, so the workload on him is greater. However, such a man is valued higher, and he himself develops and improves in the process of relationships.

Loneliness after 30 years

It is believed that up to a certain age people can be in search of themselves. If a man under 30 yearns for solitude, wants moral and physical development, then there is nothing shameful or wrong in that. However, male loneliness after 30 years indicates some kind of violation. Of course, there are exceptions. There are young men who want to engage only with you throughout their lives. Some will say that they are selfish, but in fact such people can bring great benefits to society. They focus on some of their talents or tasks and realize themselves fully.

Escape from life

If, after 30 years, male loneliness does not have any goals, the man simply lives thoughtlessly, then this indicates some problems. Perhaps he has difficulties in relationships with women or hides negative aspects of his character. Usually, by the age of 30, even the most notorious bachelors understand that they want a family, a long and serious relationship, as well as a warm corner.

Is it bad?

There is no clear answer to the question of whether a man can live alone. Of course, anyone is capable of living alone, but this will have a negative impact on their mental health. People need to communicate, enter into communications and build some kind of connections with each other. If this does not happen, then the person moves away from everything worldly and loses the ability to communicate. He becomes more closed and withdraws into himself. This may result in severe depression or the individual simply avoiding all contact.

Female self-sufficiency

It is believed that one of the reasons for male loneliness is female self-sufficiency. This is quite a pressing issue. Many women are career-oriented, which is generally good. However, they cultivate strong qualities in themselves that do not allow them to express their femininity. As a result, such women become quite tough and domineering. Building relationships with such ladies is quite difficult, and not at all because men are weak. Such women simply discourage anyone from caring for them and pursuing them. It is quite natural that the male reaction to this is alienation.

Consequences

As a result, young people either stop communicating with the fair sex, or simply begin to exist separately from them. But where can one man relax if he avoids female society and has no friends among men? This is a very interesting question that is asked by many women who believe that a man cannot survive without them. In fact, there are quite a lot of options for recreation and entertainment for such a person. Again, this is a matter of awareness. If a person understands the reason for his loneliness and goes into it intentionally, then he knows what he will do, does not waste time and develops himself. If loneliness is caused by pathological reasons, then there can be no talk of any rest or entertainment. Such a man is simply self-absorbed, he has a poor understanding of his feelings and desires and does not work at all on his internal problems.

Is this possible?

So, is it possible for a man to live as a lone wolf? Of course you can, if this is his sincere desire. But in no case is it possible if he simply avoids responsibility and problems. Through alienation, he will not solve any of his problems, he will only aggravate them. If you have such acquaintances in your circle, then you need to do everything to get them to communicate. At the same time, remember that a person has certain boundaries that you cannot cross. If a man categorically refuses help, then it is better to leave him alone.

If you are still concerned about the question of how a man can live alone, then there is no need to torment yourself if your loved one has chosen this path. This is completely normal and natural, so there is no need to worry. The main thing is not to fall for the stereotypes of society, which claims that such behavior is abnormal. Remember, a person chooses his own path and is free to decide how to spend his life. In addition, many men who spend some time alone are happy to return to normal communication and family circles. Having been alone, they receive a certain energy, and after this period they can live a normal, full life.

To summarize, there is nothing wrong with being alone. If a person feels good alone with himself, then he will feel great in any company. You should not label or draw any conclusions about a person simply because he loves solitude. In the modern world, many people are lonely, they just know how to hide it well. People who openly express their desires deserve respect. A lonely man is a normal phenomenon if such a path is chosen consciously. If we are talking about a slacker or a person with complexes, then only he can help himself if he really wants it. In other cases, any outside help will not be effective.

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