They offer you to be the second mistress. How they become lovers: causes and consequences

Accept this as a fact, and therefore there is no need to create illusions and dream about your life together. Since you haven’t thought for a long time about the question of “whether to be a mistress” and still decided to date a non-free man, just relax and enjoy what is happening. These rules will help you achieve such nirvana.

Don't worry about the rarity of seeing him.

Dreams that he will call, offer to meet, invite you to spend the weekend together - forget about them. It is he who should be dreaming about dates with you, looking for a reason to meet or beg for an audience on the occasion of the first Tuesday of this week, looking for interesting places to surprise you, entertain and please you. You reserve the right to not find time to meet with him in your busy schedule.

Never pay for anything

It’s better to completely forget about the need to take out a credit card if you go somewhere together. Firstly, it is humiliating for any normal, self-respecting man if he is not able to pay for his woman. And secondly, if you pay, why the hell do you need it?

Although it's worth keeping a couple of hundred in your bag pocket just in case to be able to call a taxi. But, as you understand, after this incident you will send him.

Be ready to send it/be sent at any moment

Although men do not officially have critical days, they happen to them unofficially and completely unpredictably (maybe the Moon is entering a special phase - it’s hard to say). And these days, it happens that they behave inappropriately. And therefore, your lover, hitherto affectionate and gentle, may suddenly begin to be rude, declare his rights to you, demand from you what you had no intention of giving. Know that this is the very moment when you need to quit, otherwise you will get the hang of it and it will only get worse.

You may simply get tired of him, and you shouldn’t feel sorry for him. Since he never left his wife, there can be no talk of any pity. He will somehow survive parting with you, so calmly send cheerful letters to everyone you know.

Yes, he can send it too. You. There may be many reasons (his wife found out about your relationship, he went crazy, etc.), but this does not change the essence. Just be ready for it. Forewarned is forearmed.

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Speak up if something bothers you

Don't like going to clubs and he drags you there every Friday? Instead, would you like to go to the theater, especially since the new dress has been waiting for its finest hour in the wardrobe for a month? Or during sex, he loves to cover you with whipped cream, and then slowly, centimeter by centimeter, lick it off you, while you hate this sticky feeling on your skin? Don't be silent - tell him about it. And it’s better to do without any hints, men are straightforward creatures, they understand only when you give everything out straight to the point.

Don't focus on him

There is no stamp in the passport, which means that you are officially nobody to each other (so, fuck periodically for mutual health and pleasure). You should not limit your communication with other men. You are young and beautiful, and who knows, maybe a more suitable option will come along.

And if you are married, then your husband should come first. And the lover must know this, understand and accept it (after all, he himself first of all pays attention to his wife).

Well, a few words about him. Since you're wasting your time on him, let him live up to it.

So, the right lover MUST :

1. Organize and pay for joint leisure.

2. Organize and pay for joint vacations.

3. Give you pleasure during sex.

4. Periodically give gifts (preferably jewelry, so that after your breakup something worthwhile remains with you).

5. Never talk about your family.

6. Be smart enough not to get burned in front of your wife.

And if something goes wrong, you already know what to do.

Mistress- from the word love. But is it so wonderful? A mistress is someone who dates a married man. Otherwise, this is no longer a mistress, but a beloved girl, which radically changes the matter. But we will still talk now about the status of a mistress. "An open relationship and no obligations. And in general, I use him for sex!" - this is roughly how girls who are caught in the web of an affair with a married man think. It seems that it will also do for lack of a better one. In such relationships, as in any other “dishonest” matters, there are pros and cons for both parties. Let’s leave the male traitors alone for now, and talk about why we girls need the “proud” title of mistress. Let's start with the cons.

"Honorable" second place

Having an affair with married man, you voluntarily agree to be not the only one, not the main one, not the most important, and, therefore, not loved. The beloved always comes first compared to other representatives of the fair sex. And you are just entertainment, a toy, but not loved at all. He solemnly vows to talk seriously with his wife about divorce, because nothing has happened between them for a long time? As a rule, men have fun with girls on the side out of boredom in family life, or for self-affirmation. But few people dare to leave the warm, familiar place under their wife’s wing. He himself chose his permanent life partner. So you have little chance of becoming the first. Do you want to be second?

Particularly classified object

On your own bitter From experience, and the experience of my friends, I know for sure that with a married lover there is nothing to count on visiting cafes together, walking through a snowy city, or going to the sea on weekends. He is always afraid that he might be seen, he does not give you such gifts that could compromise him in the eyes of your mutual friends. In general, complete secrecy, secret appearances and passwords. Cool, but for the time being.

One day you'll really want come for a friend's birthday with her boyfriend. But there’s no one to come with, he’s like a secret agent. Does he introduce you to his friends? How does he imagine? "Meet my good friend Masha." Well, or a work colleague. Anyone but who you want to be. How is it recorded in your phone? "My cat"? And you are “Petrovich from the forestry enterprise.” Very romantic! This constant lie that surrounds you and your relationship is unpleasant in itself, and even more so when you still want something different, real. And here he is, “James Bond” - unreliable, dishonest, and always afraid of possible exposure.

Complete submission on your part

No, he's certainly capable go with you to a resort for a week, but certainly somewhere away from everyone you know, under the pretext of , and never coordinating your desires with your capabilities. He has allocated several days for his entertainment, and you must give up everything, because he has no other time for you. There can be no talk of any planning of joint leisure time. You are a mistress, a creature without rights, and must completely submit to his busy man’s schedule. Moreover, mind you, busy with the interests of his legal family. A capricious mistress who does not agree with his schedule gets fired.

Love is trouble

The most terrible What can happen to a girl in the status of a mistress is love. If you managed to fall in love with your married boyfriend, then I sincerely sympathize. All of the above disadvantages are amplified several times when a girl is in love, wants to receive reciprocity, but receives only promises, conspiracy and treatment as a toy. Men are structured differently; they really sincerely do not understand how a girl could hope for something by voluntarily agreeing to a relationship with a married man. He just wanted to have fun. Nothing personal. And she seemed to be giggling too, because she was also having fun. And now into tears and with complaints. Therefore, there is no need to blame these “scoundrels” and “goats”; try to immediately clearly understand for yourself the motives of a married man who is looking at a young office employee. Are you ready to just have some fun? Where is the guarantee that you won’t be strangled by painfully unreciprocated love?

What do you think about about the future of such relationships? Will you get married and name your daughter Vasya? Believe me, he doesn't think about it at all.

Now about the pros

Maybe I will disappoint someone now, but there are no advantages in an affair with a married man. Don’t invent anything for yourself, just run away from him.

There are, of course, other novels when the opposite is true. Then here is love. And this is a completely different story...

To be a mistress means to always be in the background in a man’s life. He will spend most of his time with his family, and come to you only on rare occasions, under the guise of urgent business trips. You won’t be able to go on vacation with your loved one, celebrate the New Year together, or even just ask him to come when you’re lonely. And the main thing is that you will have to share your loved one with another and live in eternal anticipation when at least a little of his attention will fall to you. The question arises: why and how do women who could build a relationship with a free man become mistresses?

From this article you will learn:

• Why do women become mistresses?
• Why do many women choose married men?
• Which man is better to have as a lover - married or single?
• How should a mistress behave so as not to ruin the relationship?

6 reasons why women become mistresses

It can be assumed that they become mistresses by chance: “the stars just aligned.” But which women become mistresses more often than others? There are a number of factors that push for such relationships:

1. Diffidence.

When we hear the word “mistress,” we picture in our heads the image of a fatal beauty who is stylishly dressed, well-groomed, literally radiates sexuality, and all men turn to look after her. In fact, if a woman becomes a mistress, this is a sign that there was some kind of psychological trauma or an affair with a tragic end in her life.
Such events contribute to the emergence of a variety of complexes. The girl feels insecure and thinks that no one will love her or marry her. This pushes her to agree to a “supporting role,” because she still doesn’t expect anything more. And although the position of a mistress, frankly speaking, is unenviable, insecure girls are ready to endure all the hardships associated with it for many years.

1. The desire to provide for oneself financially.

In the modern world, many girls have the following stereotype in their heads: in order to live richly and not deny themselves anything, you don’t need to work, you can just find a wealthy man. Such ladies become mistresses for only one purpose - to ensure a beautiful life for themselves at the expense of a sponsor. At the same time, they do not think about their own education and career, and in case of a breakup they simply find a new lover.

The only problem is that youth will end one day. And when such a woman can no longer easily attract men, she will have to take care of herself.

1. Fear of being alone.

Why do free girls who could have normal mutual relationships become mistresses? It is not always easy to find a suitable partner, and many people endure the feeling of loneliness very hard. In addition, society often puts pressure on single women. The stereotype that it is necessary to have a couple leads to the fact that a girl agrees to a relationship with a married man.

1. Dissatisfaction with sex.

Not only a single woman, but also a married woman can become the mistress of a married man. In such situations, relationships are usually based on the satisfaction of sexual needs, which partners cannot achieve with their legal spouses.

1. Reluctance to take on the responsibilities of a wife.

Some representatives of the fair sex see more disadvantages than advantages in the role of a wife. They are sure that after some time the husband will have a mistress, will give all his love and care to her, and the poor wife will only have home life and caring for the children. At the same time, the man will always “keep his mark” in front of his mistress, but his legal wife will have to live with his “bad side.”

Indeed, many husbands prefer not to work on themselves in marriage, but to start relationships on the side. But even there, a man will not be able to pretend to be ideal for too long and hide his shortcomings.

1. Love.

Not only selfish ladies become mistresses. Sometimes the reason can be real feelings, so strong that a woman simply cannot give up her loved one.

Even more reasons why women become mistresses:

Why do women choose obviously married men?

Each such situation has its own characteristics, but there are several reasons why women become mistresses:

• Guarantee that self-esteem will not fall

If a woman paid attention to a man, it means that she liked him and seemed somehow special. And it is quite possible that if he were free, she would simply be afraid to meet him. It is the fact that the chosen one is already married that gives women courage.

A full-fledged relationship between two free people is fraught with many dangers. A man may reject a lady at the very beginning, saying that she is not his type. Or the relationship will last a long time, and then, like a knife in the back, there will be betrayal. With a married man, everything is much simpler: if he refused, it is only because the man is faithful to his wife. Therefore, the girl boldly tries to seduce the married man, because if she fails, she will not have the idea that the problem is with her.

• "Sports" interest

If a married man started a relationship with someone else, it means that she has become more important to him than his wife, as well as his moral principles and beliefs. Many ladies indulge their vanity in this way.

Realizing her superiority, a woman becomes a more passionate lover, behaves more freely in sex (sometimes so openly that she does not recognize herself). And although the wife does not disappear from a man’s life, and from time to time his marital relationship upsets his mistress. Then he comes to her again, and the feeling of superiority returns. There are always a lot of “ups and downs” in such relationships, but it is precisely this opportunity to feel like the best that forces a woman to maintain a connection with a married man.

• The desire not to make a mistake

You've probably heard the phrase at least once that “all the good men have already been taken away.” The fact that a man is not free is a kind of “quality guarantee”. We can say that a woman becomes the mistress of someone else’s husband because she is sure that he knows how to treat women well and is capable of a long-term relationship.

• The desire for livability

In an ordinary relationship, a lot separates a girl from the supposed moment of “happiness”: she needs to buy an apartment in order to live together, the guy needs to get a good job, propose... If the lover is married, all dreams come down to one simple step - divorcing his wife.

It is clear that the “happiness” we talk about does not actually bring a feeling of satisfaction. Having conquered one “height”, a person immediately rushes to another. Nothing is ever enough for us. In this sense, it is very “convenient” to connect your happiness with the actions of your partner: you may not achieve your cherished goal for a long time, but blame someone else for it. That’s why women become lovers, because such relationships seem to be one step away from happiness.

• Brutality of a man

To maintain a relationship “on two fronts,” a man has to use all his ingenuity. He tries to satisfy his mistress in bed, please her with gifts, etc. As soon as instability arises in the relationship, the man immediately reacts: he is ready to do anything to win the favor of his chosen one again.

• Convenience of relationships

When people do not live together constantly, it is easier for them to show only their best side. On every date, they can be in a good mood, look beautiful and have a good time. Such relationships are impossible when people are united by living together, and willy-nilly they see each other in any state, even not the most attractive one.

Obviously, none of the reasons why women become mistresses are positive. A relationship with a married man has no prospects other than its tragic end. And the sooner you realize this and stop meeting with someone else’s husband, the better it will be for you. If you cannot understand yourself and giving up this relationship seems too painful, you should seek help from a psychologist.

Usually a woman becomes a lover, expecting to receive love, support and other emotions from a man that will help her cope with loneliness. But if, between a free man and a busy one, you somehow choose the second one, this is a reason to think about it.

Who to choose as a lover: married or single

Should I become the mistress of a married man? Every woman answers this question for herself. Arguments can be made both for and against this choice.

Cons:

• A married lover is bad.

In saying this, people usually do not specify for whom exactly a married lover is bad. Naturally, a girl who wants to get married and start her own family should not become a mistress. Such relationships are based on sensual exchange and usually develop between a mature man and a young girl. A man looks for love and tenderness in his partner, which he lacks in his family, and the girl receives experience and support from him. Therefore, relationships with a married person can also be “bad” for people of the same age, for example, forty-year-olds.

• A married lover always cheats.

This is only true if you are dealing with a pathological liar. But if a relationship is based on real feelings, then it must be honest from beginning to end.

• The result is clear: you will be left alone.

Yes, but only if the woman was fixated on her lover and did not try to simultaneously look for a man for a serious relationship.

After all, the point of a relationship with a lover is that you are not bound by any obligations and can part with him at any time.

• You are considered a kept woman.

This is more of a stereotype than the real state of affairs. The situation may be the opposite, because there are men in creative professions who have unstable earnings and willingly “sit on the necks” of their beloved women. In return, they can give them new sensations, tenderness and love.

• The goal of every mistress is to take a man away.

This happens, but there is no point in generalizing. Every relationship has its share of possessiveness, but some women experience it more than others. Often women become mistresses, but do not try to destroy the family of their loved one.

• A single lover is preferable to a married one.

As a rule, if a man did not get married before the age of 30, it means he simply could not build a close relationship with a woman. Those who remain lonely in adulthood are those from whom their partners simply ran away: selfish people, mama's boys, gigolos, alcoholics and drug addicts. Among the huge number of such shots, it is difficult to find a normal lover.

• Mistresses of married people are always mercantile.

But you can definitely argue with this. Over the years, women become more and more independent, many of them provide for themselves and even earn more than their partners. Therefore, the situation when a woman becomes a mistress only out of self-interest is now quite rare. Many of them simply want female happiness, but do not associate it specifically with marriage.

• Married lovers harm the psyche of their children.

If a man was initially honest with his mistress and she does not expose him, then the children are not in danger. A man who has children is likely to protect his family from scandals, even when he has another woman. And if he still decides to divorce, it won’t hurt to take care of the children and maintain relationships with them. This type of upbringing, when a child lives with one of the parents, and the other takes part in his life as much as possible, is now considered quite acceptable.

• Mistresses simply prey on married men.

Indeed, in our age, women show much more initiative in relationships than before.

But one way or another, an adult man himself makes the decision whether to start a relationship on the side or remain faithful to his wife. But it is impossible to become someone’s mistress by force.

Pros:

• A married lover is an ideal option if you don't want to get married.
• During your infrequent meetings, you will only see him clean and well-groomed.
• Your sexual relationships will always be interesting and varied.
• You don't have to take care of your partner's household needs.
• A married man is picky about relationships and takes care of his health.
• Each of your meetings will be unforgettable, because a man cannot be with you all the time, and you are unlikely to have time to get tired of each other.
• Most likely, a man does not have problems with finances if he decides to start a new relationship.
• A man who has been married is well versed in female psychology.
• If you wish, it will be very easy for you to part with it.

A married man offers to become his mistress: to agree or not

If a woman is offered to become a mistress, she should think carefully about her decision. Think about whether you are ready to accept all the features of such a relationship:

Before becoming the mistress of a married man, weigh all the pros and cons so that later it will not be excruciatingly painful to interrupt this relationship.

It is especially difficult for women who plan to start a family with their lover, but he constantly postpones the moment of divorce. Psychologists in such cases advise setting a man a period during which he must get a divorce. If even after that he doesn’t start doing anything, just don’t waste your time on a person who is deceiving you.

How to respond to an offer to become a mistress to a married woman

Both free women and married women become mistresses. In the second case, this is somewhat more difficult due to the lack of free time, but a married woman will not suffer from the fact that her lover does not marry her. In some cases, a married woman is only too happy to become the mistress of a married man. But in any case, such relationships are associated with the need to carefully hide meetings from legal spouses.

If a married lady becomes the mistress of a married man, she should follow some rules:

• Under no circumstances should you start an affair with a friend or even an acquaintance of your spouse.
• Try your best to hide the fact that your husband has a rival. You can be betrayed not only by changes in behavior, frequent trips to beauty salons, etc., but also simply by a happy facial expression that your husband is not used to.
• So that the husband does not suspect anything, he will have to come up with a story for each meeting with his lover. For example, say that you went shopping with a friend or to a cosmetologist. It is better to choose places that your husband definitely does not want to go with you.
• If your lover is generous with gifts, be prepared to come up with explanations for where you got the new things.
• When you decide to go somewhere with your lover, prepare your husband in advance for the fact that you are planning a business trip. This explanation is suitable if your spouse has no friends among your bosses or colleagues.
• Never correspond or talk to your lover on the phone in the presence of your husband. It's better not to do this on your home computer.
• Don't forget that your husband has sexual needs too. However, it is better for him not to demonstrate the skills acquired on the side.

Watch carefully so that no traces of stormy nights remain on your body.

• When a woman becomes a mistress, it is better for her not to advertise this fact to anyone, even her best friend. And it is very important not to allow her lover to have her intimate photographs or videos. After a breakup, some men are happy to use such things for blackmail.
• Never, under any circumstances, give in to the temptation to tell your husband everything, even if your lover told him everything himself.

There are many ways a woman becomes a lover. Not every lady will decide on such a relationship, but for some they bring those sensations and emotions that they so lacked. In any case, a woman should be prepared for the fact that one day she will have to go through a long and painful separation.

Today, many women are quite happy with the status of a mistress. Experts say that this trend is typical for mature, self-sufficient women 35 years of age and older, who no longer expect to create a full-fledged family.

For these women, the question becomes urgent: how to become a passionate, good lover, that is, not only to satisfy your partner, but also to feel comfortable at the same time.

1. Don't be too frank

Try not to share explicit details of your former life with your partner. You can casually hint that you broke off a long-term relationship with your previous lover because it gave you more problems than joy. But it’s better not to talk about feelings and intimate life: a person can interpret any random story not in your favor.

1. Don't be sure that a man will abandon his family

If a woman becomes the mistress of a married man, she automatically accepts the fact that the man already has a family. Yes, in some cases husbands leave for their mistresses, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Don't torment yourself or your partner with thoughts that you could be together as husband and wife. Agree to think less about the future and enjoy what you have now. Remember that the most permanent things are usually those that we perceive as fleeting.

1. Try not to talk about his wife at all

Men love to complain to their mistresses about their wife, mother-in-law and their terrible family life. But you don’t enter into this relationship to become a vest, right? If you constantly listen to these stories, you can find yourself hopelessly drawn into other people's family feuds. Try not to start a conversation about his wife, do not be interested in her name, profession, appearance, etc. If the man himself constantly talks about her, say directly that you do not want to discuss this topic. But when he talks about his hobbies or friends, or asks for your opinion on some issue, be sure to support the dialogue.

1. Exercise extreme caution

If someone from the close circle of the family notices a man on the other side, problems are guaranteed for him. And it is very likely that in such a situation he will break off relations with his passion forever. Therefore, it is beneficial for a woman who becomes a mistress that her wife does not know about her existence. To do this, you need to behave as carefully as possible and appear less often together in public places.

1. Have self-esteem

Even if you have no other important things to do besides work, your lover should not know about it. Explain that you are not ready to break out and go to him at any moment when he has a free minute. A man must get used to the fact that a meeting must be scheduled in advance, otherwise it may not take place. Moreover, it is desirable that the initiative comes from him.

If you yourself offer to meet, and the man refuses, under no circumstances show your frustration. Let him think that you always have something to do, and his absence is not a universal tragedy for you. Say in a casual tone: “It’s a pity that you won’t be able to see each other today,” and that’s enough emotion. And then tell them that you haven’t been able to find time to do something interesting for a long time, and today is a great day to bring your plans to life.

It could be about meeting old friends, a new work project, a hobby, some social events - the choice is unlimited. The main thing is that the man does not get the impression that without him your life becomes meaningless.

1. Don't call first

Even if you really want to, try to remind yourself first as little as possible. Any psychologist will tell you that relationships become tense when a woman puts pressure on her partner. Find something to do: watch a TV series, read a book, take a walk in the park. Always respond positively to a call: say how much you miss you, ask how your favorite thing is going. Show care and attention, show your tender attitude towards him.

Avoid any reproaches, even if you have been waiting for a call for a very long time. If a married man is dating you, most likely he hears enough reproaches from his wife. From you - only positive things, and let him apologize for the long absence and invite you to meet as soon as possible. No matter how offensive it may be, keep this offense to yourself. And just in case, think about whether some mistake of yours was the reason why the man did not call for a long time. You are not always to blame for common problems, but you can at least correct your mistakes, but you can only come to terms with a man’s mistakes.

1. Show real passion

How do they become good lovers? Say no to arguments, quarrels, hysterics and everything that a family man tries to escape from. And give him what he wants so much: understanding, affection and violent passion.

Don't ask him about your future, but just make the person feel good with you. This is the only way you can one day take that place in his life that turned out to be empty. Live for today and try to make every date unforgettable.

May his day be better when you are by his side. Smile, even if your mood is not very good, thank you for any gift, even a small one. You can show emotions differently depending on how much you really like the gift. A smart man will quickly change his mind and give you exactly what you like. If this does not happen, be content with what he comes up with himself, and in no case be offended. Put his capabilities above your needs.

1. Praise the man

If a man fixed something in your house, be sure to praise him for it. Show that you are simply delighted with what golden hands he has. There is simply no price for such a man! If the lover does not have enough skills to deal with a broken hairdryer or kettle himself, he can offer money for a new one. Such help can be taken for granted, and there is no reason to refuse it.

1. Make your weakness a strength

Make these words your life motto. Remember that you are a gentle, weak, lonely woman who desperately needs a strong man’s shoulder nearby.

However, this does not change the fact that you should look good and be interesting. In order for a man not to get bored next to you, you must have your own circle of friends, various interests, and certain goals in life.

1. Know how to endure

Patience is one of the most valuable female qualities. And a woman who becomes a mistress simply needs it. You will need to wait until the man appreciates how much you give him. Over time, having gotten used to everything good that is in your relationship, he will no longer be able to just break it off. This means that the meetings will continue and constantly keep you on your toes. A lady who has a secret affair even looks different: more attractive and mysterious. And men always appreciate the mystery in a woman!

Interesting video about relationships with a married man:

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

What to do if a married man offers to become his mistress? For many women, such a connection seems something romantic and sweet. It is these relationships that bring a lot of new emotions and adrenaline. Tender words, a lot of gifts and frequent trips to a restaurant are what many girls dream about. But will happiness last that long? What can a married man really give when he asks a lady to be his mistress?

What's in the article:

Why does a man look for a mistress?

A happily married man, loved by his wife, only rarely decides to start a secret relationship with another woman. Why do married guys offer married girls to become their mistresses and what do they want from them?

A man’s dissatisfaction in intimacy with his wife is one of the common reasons. Here we cannot blame only the spouse, who has long been indifferent to sex and has become less attractive. Husbands, too, very quickly in family relationships lose their image of a sweet, caring boy, and what was once a great passion turns into ordinary life. When a man is looking for a mistress, he wants to forget about his family problems and diversify his intimate life.

The wife humiliates her husband or has also been caught cheating. If the marriage has lasted for more than 7-10 years, then the husband may not decide to leave, but simply take revenge in kind and thus increase his self-esteem.

Lack of new emotions and feelings in the family. At home, monotony awaits him every day, he knows everything about his wife, her desires, preferences. The wife has long ceased to be a highlight and something unattainable for her husband. He looks for variety in his mistress and what has become missing in everyday life.

The man was exhausted by quarrels and scandals with his wife. He has no one to trust and tell about his problems and experiences. In his mistress he sees not only a sexual partner, but also a person who will understand and listen to him. He is trying to find a woman who will not judge, who will not nag for the slightest shortcoming.

Cheating is also possible if a man is already mature, but wants to return to his youth and be reckless, to plunge into old feelings again. For such purposes, they choose young and energetic girls who are ready to do anything for them.

Is it worth pursuing if a married man offers to become his mistress? You need to realize that there is practically no chance of becoming his only wife. He is looking only for temporary consolation, entertainment, a change of scenery.

Some ladies are aware of the whole situation and what they will have to come to terms with, but agree to such a role because they find positive aspects in it.

So why isn't being a mistress the worst option?

• If you approach this issue wisely, then the relationship will not oblige you to anything. A woman does not owe or owe anything. If you can’t meet, don’t be afraid to say so. If courage and conscience allow, there is no fear of catching the disease, you can have several partners at the same time.
• According to psychologists, even such a relationship is a good experience for every woman. This allows you to better understand male psychology and understand yourself and your feelings.
• Being a lover is not only about giving your lover crazy nights of love. A woman should enjoy it herself. With money, you can expect a lover to go to cultural events, go on vacation, and not have to think about everyday or work problems.
• A surge of new emotions, new sensations, a change of scenery. This role is suitable for women who constantly want something new. Although it’s not a fact that you won’t get tired of your lover and will have to change him over time.
• If a woman cannot provide a carefree life for herself, then it is better to say “yes” to a wealthy lover. The woman gives pleasant emotions, and the man thanks her with financial help or gifts and surprises that she cannot afford.

The role of a mistress: what you need to consider

Before agreeing to such a relationship, you need to think about all the nuances.

1. Do not try to tie a man to you with expensive gifts and excessive courtship. In this case, it is better to invest in yourself: beautiful clothes and sexy lingerie, hairstyle, light natural makeup. You need to try to become a friend who gives him advice, and not a mother or wife who will constantly nag.
2. It is better not to ask your lover about his wife and children. Such men still won’t tell the truth. They know what to say to please their mistress: he hasn’t loved his wife for a long time, there is no intimacy, he lives only for the sake of his children or out of pity. Naive ladies don’t even suspect that this could all be a lie.
3. You need to come to terms with the fact that a mistress will never be in first place for a man. Even if everything is not all right with their wife in an intimate sense and the violent emotions have long subsided, they have been together for a long time, they have common children and everyday life. There are very rare cases when lovers exchange established home comfort for an unpromising relationship.
4. You need to be able to constantly intrigue him with something, be inaccessible, and do unexpected treats. If you try to become a second wife, then interest will fade away quite quickly. Therefore, you don’t need to put much effort into washing and ironing his shirts or preparing savory dishes every time.
5. It is better not to introduce him to your relatives. If he can still go to meet his mistress’s friends, then, without serious intentions, meeting his parents can only scare him away.
6. Whatever feelings you have for your lover, you need to value yourself and, at a minimum, not pay for yourself in a cafe or restaurant, teach him to give flowers and come on a date not empty-handed. It is also necessary to take into account that men love weak, tender women.
7. A lover should not dictate who a girl should communicate with and spend time with. She is not his wife or property and has the right to communicate not only with him.
8. You need to be gentle, but at the same time, confident and self-sufficient. If there is something that doesn’t suit you in the relationship or in his behavior, be sure to tell him about it. You need to make it a comfortable pastime not only for him, but also for yourself. There is no need to make a martyr of yourself, always follow his lead.
9. A man must realize that a woman’s life does not consist only of their meetings (unless the woman herself wants it). She still has work, she can get carried away with a new hobby that will distract her from bad thoughts. In addition to the fact that the man himself will have to adapt to the lady’s rhythm, she will also be a good conversationalist.
10. In order for the relationship to last as long as possible, you should not create scandals and hysterics. Even if something didn’t turn out the way you wanted, it’s better to pretend that for the woman it was a small thing that she almost didn’t notice.

To avoid episodes in a relationship that are painfully painful for a woman, it is better to weigh everything soberly before agreeing to be a mistress. Here you need to be a bit of a psychologist, look at the situation sensibly, evaluate it: does the man truly love or is he just trying to keep his mistress with a good attitude. Psychologists give advice: if a woman is looking for a soul mate to start a family, and her lover promises her this, it is worth setting a deadline for him for divorce. If during this time there are no changes, there is no need to waste time on such a man. And even more so, you should not refuse to communicate with others during this period, even if your lover demands it. In any case, you need to respect and value yourself.

Married mistress: is it worth taking such a step?

It is much easier for a free woman to be a mistress in terms of enough time. But it may be harder morally, since she will never be the only one for him. How to behave correctly if a married man offers to become his mistress to a married woman? For both, this is the most profitable option, but there is one problem - it is very difficult to carefully hide relationships from their legitimate other halves.

If a married lady is thinking about a relationship with a married man, then she better listen to the following advice.

• Under no circumstances should you choose a friend or acquaintance of your legal husband as your lover.
• In front of your husband, do not give unnecessary signals that someone has appeared. Secret relationships can be easily revealed by the constantly joyful and happy expression on her face; the woman does her hair and makeup more often, and began visiting spa salons.
• To prevent your husband from suspecting anything, it is better to start telling him about a friend with whom she will attend cultural events or a cosmetologist. It’s better to visit places with your “friend” that your husband definitely won’t like if you invite him to go together. If your friend is really close, you can listen to her opinion and advice.
• If your lover is generous and begins to offer expensive gifts, take care of excuses for your spouse in advance.
• If a married lady has accepted an offer to go on a mini-trip with her lover, warn her husband about the “business trip” in advance. However, the exact location should not be indicated. This option is suitable only if the spouse is not personally acquainted with his wife’s superiors or colleagues.
• No conversations or correspondence in front of my husband. It is better not to use a home laptop for these purposes.
• Do not forget that intimacy is required not only by a lover, but also by a legal husband. At the same time, it is better not to brag to him about new intimate knowledge and skills. You also need to make sure that your new passion does not leave traces of a stormy night on your body: hickeys or scratches.
• Whatever passion rages between lovers, it is impossible to allow intimate videos or photos with a woman to fall into the hands of a lover. At the end of the relationship, the married person can use it for blackmail. It is better for a married woman not to advertise her new relationship to anyone, if possible, even to her best friend.
• Never, under any circumstances, give in to the temptation to tell your husband everything, even if your lover told him everything himself.

Psychologists say that not everyone can agree to be a mistress, and even of a married man. These are new sensations and emotions, new experiences. But you need to be prepared for the fact that you can pay for this experience with tears and suffering, and your lover will never appreciate all the efforts of his second woman.

In short, the comrade is happily married, he does not intend to leave his wife, but “for the sake of his soul” he has acquired a mistress, who, however, lately has upset him more than pleased him.

Here we have (as I hope you remember) blame-free territory. Therefore, I strongly recommend not to start making noise in the comments about the fact that cheating is bad, and condemn those who, on the contrary, are bad in monogamy mode. Even if you start an active discussion, the fact that in nature there are married men who allow themselves affairs on the side, and women who theoretically agree to be these themselves - “for the soul”, will not cease to be a fact. We are all different. And what is “horror-horror” for one person may be a completely viable model for his neighbor.

Another thing is that, in my opinion, the responsibility for what is happening lies largely with the man. Including choosing the right girl as your mistress. And the correct one in this case is the one who will behave in accordance with her status and will not start to get on the nerves of the remaining two corners of the love triangle (especially in this sense, it’s a pity for wives who, perhaps, agree to turn a blind eye to their husbands’ affairs, but do not deserve it at all all sorts of vile demarches on the part of mistresses).

Since I know a lot about mistresses (including, let’s be honest, from my own experience I had the opportunity to play this role), I decided to talk about the signs by which you can identify an unsuitable girl. One that will probably cause more problems than pleasure. And from which, in order to avoid additional gray hairs on your head, it is wiser to get rid of as soon as possible.

1. She doesn't want you to spend money on her.

If the girl herself is not free, then expensive gifts may indeed not be entirely appropriate (not every handbag and bracelet can be passed off as a “corporate gift from a grateful client”). On the other hand, according to the unspoken rule, mistresses are an expensive pleasure. Therefore, if not for gifts, then for hotels, romantic weekends, restaurants, etc. you'll have to fork out the cash.

There are girls who are purposeful and quite aggressive. There are those who take investing for granted. There are others who, seeing a married gentleman take out a wallet, chirp sweetly: “Oh, well, I shouldn’t have! Although it’s so nice...” But the financial aspect in a relationship with a mistress is present in 99% of cases. These are the rules of the transaction that intelligent people do not voice, but know and follow. You need each other for sex and new experiences. And if a man is usually thrilled by the very fact of owning the wrong woman, then the other party needs and cares that everything is beautiful, fabulous and on a grand scale.

A mistress who persistently tries to protect you from unnecessary expenses (“Why go to a hotel? Come to my place,” “Oh, these restaurants. I’d rather cook something myself,” “Paris for May? Or maybe we’ll go to my dacha? ", etc.), is the same anomalous phenomenon as a barking chicken. In 9 cases out of 10, it’s not the girl’s selflessness, but the fact that, firstly, she is trying to accustom you to everyday life - borscht soup, gatherings at the grill, fixing the toilet, which you have to do yourself after sex, although I could just give money for a new one or for a plumber. That is, it duplicates the functions of your legal wife so that the transition from one woman’s hands to another is not so abrupt.

Secondly, most likely, this is exactly what she is counting on (after all, wives, by the way, often receive a PIN code from their man’s credit card along with a stamp in their passport, yeah). How, one might ask, can one not want to marry this gentle and modest buttercup, against whom the lawful wife looks like a greedy monster feeding on fur coats and diamonds? And the mistress will consciously emphasize the fact that, unlike all other female creatures, she doesn’t need anything, literally nothing at all from you, but only needs you. Well, isn't she a cutie, huh?

2. She asks about your wife.

Another unspoken rule that a lover with “concepts” will never break: your family life is a closed territory. She should not try to find out the size of jeans worn by the woman who gave birth to your son and sweet daughter. Find out her age. Does she like to be on top or bottom and what part of the bed is she used to sleeping on? Are you allergic to legumes? The answers to all these questions will not make any of you feel better (on the contrary, you may be visited by an attack of guilt, and she will be able to very vividly imagine how the two of you fulfill your marital duty). And in the end, it's none of her business. And she knows it.

And if he knows and ignores, it means he has a good reason for it. All these interrogations are needed in order to collect a detailed history of the enemy and, after analyzing his shortcomings and weaknesses, present him in the most competitive form in front of you.

3. She insists that you stay the night.

There is a lot of everything that is supposed to be (while wives sometimes go without it for years): sex marathons, spontaneous meetings, armfuls of flowers and other romantic quilts on the part of the man. But at the same time, there is something that belongs to the family and that the mistress should not claim: nights and weekends (especially if there are children who will not take themselves to the zoo/to the dentist/to the karate class).

Problematic mistresses usually carry out subversive work by carefully hiding their true motives (leaving you overnight and provoking a showdown with your wife), and hiding behind the avalanche of feelings that suddenly hit them. “I feel so good now that I just can’t let you go,” “I love watching you sleep so much...” and other romantic approaches, in theory, should lull your vigilance and make you think in the spirit of “Oh, I was not there... I’ll stay.” " Stayed once - created a precedent. This means that next time it will be possible to promise additional 13, appeal to your sentimental feelings, press for pity, etc. And if your one-time absence from home at night can hypothetically go unnoticed, then regular “night shifts” are a sure way to aggravate your relationship with your wife. And then, you see, it starts to smell like divorce.

4. She neglects safety rules

What distinguishes a good mistress from a problematic mistress is that the former is satisfied with her situation. It is also in her interests that your affair does not result in forced excommunication from home for you. If only because in such a situation, men usually mutate from cheerful revelers into sad and nervous types, tormented by remorse and the prospect of alimony. Mending and washing your socks, again, can rest on her tender shoulders (this is instead of dates in a luxury hotel and trips to Paris, which, of course, is not the most profitable exchange). Therefore, the girl will jealously ensure that she does not compromise either you or herself. No accidentally forgotten thongs in the back seat of your car. No general ones (from which it is easy to figure out that on the evening of the 13th you were not at the meeting at all). No spontaneous visits to your work (after all, Katenka from the reception could easily turn out to be your wife’s friend). Restaurants, cafes, shops - only those where your spouse is unlikely to decide to visit. In a word, she will be a spy as good as you.

And vice versa: sometimes your mistresses are girls who behave riskily and recklessly, supposedly in order to add adrenaline to your already hormonally saturated relationship. Forgotten panties, calls at odd hours, porn SMS, when you sit with your wife in the evening watching TV and stroke her soft knee through the fabric of a flannel robe - there are few ways to make you feel that a little more - and you would have been caught. There are two options: either she’s crazy, or she’s already cleared out a shelf in her closet where you can put your things when you’re kicked out of the house.

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