Throughout life path Every person has to face different difficulties. This could be minor troubles at work, a quarrel with a loved one, illness or the loss of someone close. And in these difficult circumstances it is so important to know that there is someone nearby who will not regret warm words of support. After all, one spoken word can heal a bleeding wound or, conversely, cause even greater harm.
Today, unfortunately, people underestimate the importance of spoken words. But it is in them that a huge power is hidden, which can both give life to a person and take it away. The Bible says: " Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:22 As we see, language has power, and despite the fact that it is a small member, it is he who controls everything.
Why is it so important to offer words of encouragement in difficult times?
The fact is that when a person is supported and told that together they will cope with any problem, that there are those next to him who love him and will help, then by this they strengthen the one who is in a difficult situation and give him strength. However, lack of understanding and support can kill even the slightest hope that everything will be fine.
Words of support for the patient
Unfortunately, in life it also happens that illnesses come into our lives. Some of them are easily cured, others have more serious consequences, and others lead to death. And when we learn about the illness of a person close to us, it plunges us into shock and bewilderment. However, what does the patient himself feel at this moment? Of course, he suffers more than others. Different thoughts may arise in his head and it is at this moment words of support for the patient can help him feel not alone, and that there is still hope.
Faced with such a circumstance, everyone understands that something needs to be said, but most often people cannot find the right words and begin to show pity. This is the last thing the patient needs. Our participation and kind words are what the patient needs. This is what will help him worry less, knowing that he is still loved.
What words of support can you say to a patient?
- You need to tell your loved one that you love him and that no matter what happens, you will always be there.
- Give compliments, praise for some merits, even the most insignificant ones. For the patient, this merit can be a real feat.
- There is no need to talk about the disease itself and how shocking news it was for you; it is better to distract the patient with some good news or, in extreme cases, a funny joke.
Any sick person needs words of support and attention. This is what will help him come to his senses faster and recover faster.
Words of support and condolences
The loss of a loved one is perhaps the greatest test for everyone. And during this difficult period, a person needs to be given help and attention so that he can go through this path and begin to live a full life again. In this case instead of words of encouragement Words of condolences would be appropriate. However, you can express your condolences in different ways. For example, let's compare two options.
- "My condolences! Everything will be fine!" – such support seems completely indifferent and sounds more like a formality. How can everything be good if everything is very bad?
- Or: “Please accept my sincere condolences! Know that you can always count on my help. If you need anything, I'm always here! – such words really make your soul warmer. After all, knowing that there are people who are ready to help in any situation helps to cope with many difficulties.
So, what words to say in difficult circumstances?
- First of all, these must be thoughtful words. What we say can change a person's life for the better or for the worse. After all Every word we say will definitely bear fruit.
- If a person himself is in a difficult situation, then there is no need to dwell on his condition and constantly tell everyone how bad everything is. After all, these words will bear fruit. Difficulties will come our way more than once, so we must learn to extract something positive and good even from the worst. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about.
The Bible says: “I said, I will take heed to my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will bridle my mouth while the wicked is before me” Ps.39:2
Our unbridled words can be a blessing or a curse for someone. Therefore, even when expressing to someone, you should control yourself. Unfortunately, very often it turns out that you wanted the best, but it turned out as always. Therefore, sometimes it is better to remain silent at all than to say something stupid that hurts a person to the core.
Words of faith in difficult times
There are circumstances in which words of unbelief cannot be spoken.
When you are under pressure at work.
When there is no money
Under no circumstances should these words be proclaimed into your life.
"Why?" - you ask. And ask correctly. Remember the studies? God created the entire Universe with a word. And we are created in His image and likeness.
And therefore, what we say in our lives is what we have.
For example.
Example 1. Business.
When I started doing business, for the first 4 months I had practically no orders. Only small ones, or from relatives.
I remember my birthday. I haven’t had any orders for 48 days now, it’s a warm March evening. A friend called me, congratulated me and then casually asked:
“How’s business?”
So many things went through my head at that moment. But in response I answered smartly:
"Everything is fine!".
Instead of words of disbelief and despondency, I said what I believed in.
But isn't this a lie?
No. For the reason that this happened.
Example 2. Relationship with a person.
The principle here is very simple.
Saying is not what the soul feels. Because the soul is always on a roller coaster, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
But say what you believe in your spirit.
And soon what you see will agree with what you say.
Example from the Word of God.
This is exactly what Jesus did.
One day a man approached Him, the leader of the synagogue, whose daughter was dying. Imagine his grief. The girl he raised with love lies with a disease for which this man had no cure. He turned to God.
22 And behold, one of the rulers of the synagogue, named Jairus, came and, seeing Him, fell at His feet 23 and earnestly begged Him, saying: My daughter is about to die; come and lay your hands on her so that she may get well and live. 24 Jesus went with him. Many people followed Him and pressed Him.
The Lord God always answers human needs. Jesus went after the leader of the synagogue.
But something happened on the road that made Jesus stop. Time is very precious. The daughter dies, the head of the synagogue is terribly worried.
And at this time Jesus is talking to a woman who was healed by touching Him.
35 While He was still speaking these things, they came from the ruler of the synagogue and said, “Your daughter is dead; Why else are you bothering the Teacher? 36 But when Jesus heard these words, he immediately said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid, only believe.” 37 And he suffered no one to follow him except Peter, James, and John the brother of James.
See how important words are. The man still believed. But they came from home and said that their daughter had died.
Jesus' first reaction was to say: “Do not be afraid, only believe.”
And the leader of the synagogue obeyed. He did not utter a single word of disbelief in the most difficult circumstances. He did not become hysterical, did not shout at his subordinates and did not get angry. He gave the situation to Jesus.
And when Jesus spoke the words to him, “Do not be afraid, only believe,” he did it.
He didn't give in to fear. He submitted to faith.
38 He comes to the house of the ruler of the synagogue and sees confusion and people weeping and crying out loudly. 39 And he entered and said to them, “Why are you troubled and crying? the girl is not dead, but is sleeping. 40 And they laughed at Him. But He, having sent everyone out, takes with Him the father and mother of the girl and those who were with Him and enters where the girl lay. 41 And, taking the girl by the hand, he says to her: “talifa kumi,” which means: girl, I’m telling you, get up. 42 And the girl immediately stood up and began to walk, for she was about twelve years old. Those who saw it were in great amazement. 43 And He strictly ordered them that no one should know about it, and said that they should give her something to eat.
There are several surprising things in this story.
- The way Jesus behaved.
In the East there is a profession - a mourner. Such people are invited to mournful events. But Jesus sent them away, even though they laughed at Him.
And then Jesus spoke words filled with faith and what He declared happened. He didn't ask his daughter to stand up. He declared this " girl, I'm telling you, get up " And it happened.
But most of all I want to draw your attention to this man.
But the situation is truly terrible. A beloved child dies. Nothing can be done. Since he is the leader of the synagogue, he is not a poor man, and he has tried everything he can. But nothing helped.
But notice his behavior around the Lord.
During all this time, he only uttered words once. And these were words of faith. “come and lay your hands on her so that she will get well and live.”
He spoke words of faith when he came to Jesus. And when it was very difficult, he simply remained silent.
But during all this time he never uttered words of disbelief, words of fear or doubt. HE didn’t lament: “Ah-ah-ah, Jesus, my daughter is already dead, lying in the house. How will I live now? But you didn’t come.”
He was silent. And I believed.
Sometimes faith manifests itself in words. But there are times when it’s even difficult to say. But be silent and continue to believe. And this faith will materialize into the fact that you will see the result of faith.
A word of encouragement for difficult circumstances.
First . Your words of support are very important to your neighbor.
Second. In difficult circumstances, do not allow your tongue to speak words of doubt and unbelief. Because you are surrounded by what you say.
No matter whether we're avid introverts or wildly extroverted, conversations will always have those weird, awkward moments when we have no idea what to say. While we're desperately trying to pick up Right words, panic may appear and this usually causes a mental block on suitable topics for conversation.
So why is this happening? Typically, this happens when we are not very familiar with the person or group of people. If you find yourself in a conversation before you find mutual language, it can be difficult to communicate smoothly and naturally because we are not quite sure what we can and cannot talk about.
How to carry on a conversation with someone you don't know
It is for moments like this that it is important to have a few good techniques in your arsenal. This will only help you socially, giving you the opportunity to lay the foundation for potential friendships, but also in professional circles, where connections and acquaintances matter.
Don't make your goal "Become interesting"
Many people believe that if people want to build any kind of relationship, they must win them over by being interesting or funny conversation. In reality, this is absolutely not the case. For communication to be meaningful, it does not have to be educational. Don't get caught up in the idea that what you want to say doesn't quite fit the situation - just say it.
As a rule, people do not remember what was said in a particular conversation, they simply remember the fact of communication. Don't worry about impressing them, just be yourself.
Let your interlocutor talk about himself by asking the right questions
People generally love to talk about themselves. Not because they are selfish, but because it is a safe topic and they are obviously good at it. So, if you don't know what to say, just ask the right questions.
Questions show a level of personal interest and the other person feels like they care. To achieve this, you need to observe the person and find clues. For example, if they look very tired, ask what they did yesterday. If they have an accessory on them, tell them you were looking for something similar and ask where they bought it or if they can recommend where to find it.
The secret is to ask detailed questions and get them talking, rather than questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. This gives the person the opportunity to talk more, keep the conversation going, and helps you find clues to their personality.
Talk about food
The point here is to find a universal theme. Not everyone knows about the latest ones technical innovations or fashion, but you know everyone loves food or at least has an opinion about it.
If you're eating together, it's easy to start a conversation by simply commenting on the food. Or develop a conversation by talking about different cuisines and the dishes you've tried. If you're going to eat later, asking what they'll choose or suggesting a dish is always a successful theme.
It's all about finding common ground, and food is a fairly simple and universal topic of conversation.
Just rephrase what they tell you
Sometimes a conversation can go south if you don't really know what they're talking about. If you don't have enough information on a topic, it will be difficult to express your point of view and may result in uncomfortable silence.
A good technique in this case is to paraphrase what the other person said. Not only does this show that you're listening and interested, but it also gives them a chance to point out differences of opinion or inspire them to tell you more because you're interested.
If someone describes their difficult job or profession that you are not familiar with, they may be aware that you do not have enough knowledge on the topic. By repeating what they said or asking for clarification, you create a feeling of interest and rapport.
Share small facts about yourself
Sharing information about yourself may feel unnatural for some people—especially introverts. But talking about little things, no matter how small, will not only show the other person that you want them to know you, but it will also good way fill in the gaps in the conversation.
As mentioned earlier, people don't actually remember what was said in a conversation. A person is much more likely to remember the feeling of uncomfortable silence with you than a seemingly insignificant conversation about what you ate yesterday or what new gadget you bought.
The point is to be confident when speaking on any topic. If you feel uncomfortable, the other person will be more than grateful for your efforts in keeping the conversation going, so don't worry too much about your choice of words.
Knowing “everything” does not make a person a great conversationalist
Always keep this in mind. While knowledge on various topics simplifies communication with various types people, this is not necessary.
Know-it-alls have a tendency to dominate the conversation, and we all know that this turns people off. You will be much more successful if you channel your knowledge into the above tips and use these ground rules in your conversations. Remember that you want to create an easy and relaxed connection. Keep it simple.
There are times when we see the only opportunity to stand up for ourselves in the ability to insult our interlocutor. It is worth recognizing that this method is not always justified, and, at times, can even lead to negative consequences. But there are still situations when it is very difficult to do without it. There can be many such situations, and we will consider some of them in more detail. Self-defense When someone allows themselves to speak offensively towards us, we often “boil” in response. It’s rare that someone manages to restrain their emotions in such a situation and ignore the attacks of an aggressive interlocutor. Of course, if a person has managed to achieve the highest degree of self-control or simply cannot decide to respond to an offensive remark, then he is able to ignore negative words to your address. And yet, more often than not, it is not easy to restrain yourself. Protecting the Weak There are situations when we are unable to ignore the fact that someone allows himself to be offensive towards another person. This is especially unbearable to watch when your spouse, your child, a shy girl, or even an unfamiliar pensioner comes under fire from offensive words. In general, aggression awakens in many of us when a weaker person suffers and finds it difficult to stand up for himself. Of course, in this case, the injured party needs protection, and will undoubtedly feel a deep sense of gratitude when receiving it. Animal protection This point is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the difference is that this time we are not talking about a weak person, but about an animal. Some of us, seeing, for example, how teenagers torture a cat or a drunken person kicks a dog, try to pretend that they simply do not notice what is happening, but the majority still cannot look indifferently at the suffering of “lesser brothers.” Of course, in in this case insults on your part will be more than justified.
How to morally humiliate a person without swearing
Not each of us is able to humiliate a person without resorting to swear words. However, if you learn this, then you can say that you have mastered the art of the most “subtle” insults.Clever phrases to shut someone up
If you want to put a person in his place with some kind of veiled insult, take note of a few phrases.- Open your mouth at the dentist! Usually those who meddle in other people’s lives are those who can’t manage their own. Don’t fall under hot hand, so as not to fly under the hot foot.
Cool and funny insults
Such insults may seem cool and funny not only to the person who utters them, but also to the person to whom they apply. However, it all depends on how touchy your interlocutor is. If he is too sensitive to the slightest hint of insults and is overly vulnerable, then, of course, he will not find it funny in this situation.- Shut your laugher already! Stop waving your tongue like a flag at a parade.
Offensive cutting phrases
If you want to offend someone with a caustic and offensive phrase, then, apparently, this person really managed to offend you. Of course, you should never show that you are offended or angry - in this case, you will not achieve the desired effect. Say caustic phrases in a calm tone, which can easily be accompanied by a slight grin.- It looks like the stork dropped someone along the way. And more than once. You would have been taken to the Kunstkamera during your lifetime. One more phrase like this, and you will have to move through life in jerks. You should think about saving nature by sterilizing yourself. It is probably difficult for you to love nature, after what it has done to you.
How to politely send a person away by calling him witty words
You may well offend a person, even if you are on “you” terms with him. To do this, it is not at all necessary to switch to swear words or direct insults. One witty phrase is enough. Therefore, you can even say that in this way you will send a person culturally.- Are you leaving already? Why so slowly? I’m too busy a person to pay attention to your complexes. Shock me, finally say something smart. It looks like you never got over your youthful maximalism. You should be silent more often, you’d be considered smart I hope that you are not always so stupid, but just today.
Play on his weaknesses and complexes
If the situation develops in such a way that you have to insult a woman (note that these are still the most extreme situations), then, of course, you can play on her complexes. More often, weak point a woman is her appearance. Even if she doesn't show that your words hurt her in any way, most likely, you will still achieve your goal - she will remember what you said and it will bother her. It is also worth noting that some men can also be offended by mentioning them appearance or physical parameters. Although most often a male representative can be offended by mentioning his unenviable mental qualities, most men react quite painfully to these remarks. So, some examples:- Alas, you cannot save the world with beauty. However, also with your mind. Woman, you are not so beautiful as to be rude to people. Just by looking at you, I can believe that man really descended from a monkey. Don’t worry, maybe one day you will say something smart. Where did you learn do makeup in Valuev’s style? What, no one wants to get married, that’s why she’s so angry? Is everything really tight? Well, at least try to scatter your bone marrow. It’s immediately obvious that your parents dreamed of you running away from home. It’s true what they say that the brain is not everything. In your case, it's nothing at all.
Create long-term systematic pressure on the enemy
Naturally, at this point we are talking about psychological pressure - the influence on interlocutors that occurs with the aim of changing their psychological attitudes, decisions and opinions. Often this method is used in situations where, for some reason, you cannot openly be rude to a person, but you also cannot help but react to his behavior. So what types psychological pressure exist? Moral pressure This can also be called humiliation, which is expressed in the desire to morally suppress the interlocutor. You systematically point out some characteristic of a person, even if your words do not correspond to reality. Thus, you deliberately sow complexes in your opponent. For example, you can always hint or directly tell someone: “How stupid you are,” “You are very clumsy,” “You still need to lose weight,” and the like. In this case, it becomes difficult for the interlocutor to control himself, and if at first he practically does not pay attention to your words, then later they begin to seriously offend him. It is important to note that this technique is appropriate for people who suffer from self-doubt. Compulsion This method can be used by a person who is endowed with some kind of power - finances, information or even physical strength. In this case, the opponent is not able to provide a worthy rebuff, realizing that in this case he may suffer in financially, don't get necessary information and so on. Belief This type of psychological pressure can be called the most rational. By using it, you are trying to appeal to a person’s logic and reason. This method is applicable to people who have normal level intelligence that can understand what you are trying to convey to them. A person who is trying to act by persuasion must select the most logical and demonstrative phrases, avoiding doubts and uncertainty in his tone. It is important to understand that as soon as the “victim” begins to notice any inconsistencies, the force of such pressure will begin to weaken. Suspension In this case, the person makes an attempt to “starve out” the interlocutor. You try to put pressure on someone, but when they try to catch you in this, you move away or move on to other topics. You can also respond by accusing your opponent of making things up, twisting everything, and so on. Suggestion This method of psychological attack can only be used by a person who is in some way an authority for his “victim.” One way or another, you are trying to suggest something to your interlocutor, speaking in hints or directly.Is it acceptable to use obscene name-calling and swearing?
Of course, we are not always able to control ourselves and cope with ourselves in peak situations, but you should make every effort to achieve this. If it has come to the point that you see no other way but to be rude to a person, then try to do it subtly and beautifully. As they say, there is no need to stoop to the level of “bazaar women.” Of course, if you couldn’t restrain yourself and started swearing, then there’s nothing you can do about it, but still try to prevent this from happening and put the person “in his place” in other ways. The point is not that you can especially hurt with swearing interlocutor. It is simply believed that a person who has “sank” to the point of swearing is not able to defend his opinion in ordinary words- to some extent, this is how we demonstrate our own inconsistency. Of course, it’s a different matter if you, in principle, always communicate with abundant consumption swear words, but that's a completely different conversation.
How to Learn Sarcasm Using Sassy Funny Words
Having learned to use impudent and funny expressions appropriately, you will certainly be able to gain fame in your close circle as a person with a good sense of humor and mastery of the technique of sarcasm. But it is important not to forget that insolence can be fraught with consequences, and with such phrases you can provoke your interlocutor to an unpredictable reaction.- Go, lie down, rest. Well, at least on the rails. I could have offended you, of course, but nature has already done it for me. Nobody scares you, you will be scared in front of the mirror. Your mouth could do with a stapler. Well, I rang the chain, now to the booth go.
- If these beeps continue to come from your platform, then your dental composition will have to move. Are you sick or do you always look like this? You should be in a tube right now. Pay attention to the baseboard so as not to forget about your level. I would laugh at you, but life has already done it for me.
Behind all the words said
must stand honest, sincere,
An open personality is the basis of mutual understanding.
We all sincerely want to always be understood, we want to learn to trust and we dream of being heard. Where do family problems, quarrels, disagreements, broken deals and misunderstandings come from? We all speak the same language, we speak clearly and correctly?
We bring interesting proposals, but in return they refuse us, they don’t hear us, don’t support us, don’t understand us. Who is guilty? Maybe we don’t know how to speak correctly so that we are understood? Why did our ideas remain unspoken? How can we learn to speak correctly so that our initiative, idea or concern is heard?
The meaning of words for a person
Our success, and indeed our whole life, depends on the ability to speak. All failures in most cases occur only because we were unable to convey the idea, expressed ourselves incorrectly, or presented ourselves in the wrong light.
But each of us can do everything much better! You need to figure out for yourself how to learn to speak competently so that what you say is understood exactly the way you would like.
Every day we say millions of words, communicate with people, with ourselves, without thinking that every spoken word carries a certain meaning. We throw around words that later turn into garbage, empty remarks, offensive phrases, unfulfilled promises. But at our core, we are exactly what we say, how competently we speak and how we perceive what is said to us.
Young children, starting to speak, try to convey their desires and feelings. They express their emotions and desires in words. These are the first lessons that not everyone learns. We grow up, but not everyone understands that our spoken language, the ability to speak correctly, opens the door for us to achieve our goals. Our goals are varied, but the rules that help people speak correctly are very simple and the same for all occasions in life.
Hear yourself
If we want to be heard, then, first of all, we need to hear ourselves, convince ourselves of the truthfulness and sincerity of our words, thoughts, desires. Because the first step to success and communication is the ability to live harmoniously with yourself, have your own undeniable point of view, the ability to conduct an internal dialogue and sincerely believe in every word you say.
Believe in yourself. Listen to yourself, listen to what you tell yourself. Want to learn how to talk to yourself correctly? Don’t tell yourself: “I won’t succeed,” you need to say: “I can achieve a lot.” Enjoy communicating with yourself, because you are your first listener.
Three main areas of communication
- First area
The first stream includes talking to yourself, and first you need to know how to talk to yourself correctly. Don’t be surprised, everyone talks to themselves, gives themselves advice, forces themselves to do something, scolds themselves, talks themselves out of it. This is an ongoing and unconscious internal dialogue. In the head of each of us there is a scheme laid down in childhood by which we live.
The inner voice that scolds us is the forbidden voice of our parents, it is a relic of the past. We listened to this voice as children for several years: “you can’t, don’t touch me, don’t interfere,” many consider it the voice of conscience, but it is the voice of the parents, put aside in the subcortex.
Try to gradually get rid of it. Believe in yourself, in your strengths and abilities, convince yourself that you can do anything, praise yourself. By improving your inner monologue every day, you will be able to achieve harmony with yourself, and you will notice that it becomes easier for you to talk to people. And you will think less often about how to learn to speak correctly.
- Second area
The second most important area of communication is speaking correctly with interlocutors. We talk all the time, try to convey our thoughts, try to convince people that we are right, but we don’t know everything about how to learn to talk to people.
We talk a lot, but sometimes we say something that is far from what we think, and sometimes we think, but for some reason we don’t say it, and in most cases we don’t say it. As a result, constructive dialogue fails.
You will not understand how to learn to talk with people until you yourself believe in what you intend to say, and that what you say is really important to the interlocutor.
The secret to learning how to talk to people lies within yourself. Emotions, doubts, nervousness, worries, intonation - everything is conveyed along with words.
B. Russell's experiment
In 1987, Professor B. Russell conducted an experiment at the University of Pennsylvania. He found out that during communication between people, information flows arise, which, when broken down into components, showed an amazing result:
- Only 7% of spoken words have meaning;
- 38% falls on intonation and timbre of the voice;
- 55% of information is transmitted through transmission channels (posture, gestures, facial expressions, articulation), that is, something that is absolutely not related to words.
That's the whole secret of learning how to talk to people. It is very difficult to control non-verbal channels, but if the conversation concerns your future, you will have to learn.
Third area
Criticism, or the ability to deliver it, is of great importance in learning how to talk to people. This is the third area of communication. All people are sensitive to criticism. Each of us sees any object, any action in our own way.
Before you start openly criticizing, you need to make sure that you and your opponent speak the same language, that is, you see the subject in the same way. This can only be clarified through dialogue.
In a conversation containing criticism, there are two sides: the speaker and the receiver. How to accept criticism with dignity and what to do next with it? A person always faces a problem. There are exactly as many opinions as there are people, so a person must decide for himself how to accept criticism.
Creative criticism
Before you start criticizing, make sure that the person needs your opinion. And being an unexpected critic is a pointless exercise, but if you really need it, then approach criticism from a creative side. Before you start criticizing a person, try praising him. Then he will more easily accept the criticism itself.
For example, if you need to make a comment to a person on a text that he has written, it is advisable to immediately tell him that the text is very wonderful, that the idea is presented perfectly, and finally talk about the shortcomings. But you need to point out your vision of what doesn’t suit you.
You may have to change your mind, and if you are right, then the person criticized after praise will be grateful for the criticism, or take it as a lesson. This is another secret of how to talk to other people. A positive attitude towards people, even in criticism, is perceived by them as a long-awaited hint.
About the beauty of speech
When it comes to how to speak correctly, one remembers the colloquial speech of the intelligentsia of past years. In the documentary chronicle you can hear the speech of each of them.
Faina Ranevskaya (actress), Nikolai Drozdov (hosted the program “In the Animal World”), Yuri Senkevich (hosted the program “Travelers Club”) are wonderful representatives of connoisseurs of the art of words from whom you can learn to speak competently.
These are people who express their thoughts like this in beautiful words, which these days are heard less and less often, or have even completely disappeared from speech patterns. The beautiful Russian language is gradually turning into surrogate phrases from all countries of the world. It’s a shame, but a self-respecting, intelligent person will not replace the word “beautiful” with the word “cool” or “remarkable.”
Beautiful speech - the speaker’s weapon and what distinguishes it
For those who believe that the Russian language is still great and do not know how to learn to speak competently, there are basic rules that will help them. We are all speakers at heart, each person has words to express their thoughts. But this does not mean that everything we say is correct.
A skilled speaker always knows how to talk and has several advantages over the general mass of people:
- erudition and erudition. The more knowledge a person has, the better he can express his thoughts, the richer his vocabulary, and the easier it is for him. This is the essential equipment for giving an inspiring and impressive speech;
- intelligible and clear speech, absence of diction defects, persuasiveness and understandable presentation - very important qualities for a person speaking in front of an audience;
- to some extent, every speaker must be a psychologist in order to understand the mood of the masses and join in in an appropriate manner. It is unlikely that anyone will listen to a sad, sleepy person talking. The speech of a true speaker takes possession of the souls of the listeners;
- the speaker knows exactly the difference between oral and in writing, and will not allow himself to read his speech instead of speaking beautifully and confidently, looking into the eyes of his opponents.
The general public has access to a lot of literature, training, and techniques on how to learn to speak competently. We comprehend science, it would seem, we speak correctly, but they don’t want to listen to us or are not heard?
Where to look for the trick, those threads that will help you reach your interlocutor, how to learn to speak so that you are correctly understood, listened to and heard? What is the secret of how to talk?
Mastery Lessons
We speak correctly only when the subject of conversation has been thoroughly studied by us.
No matter what setting the conversation takes place in: speaking in front of an audience, talking with a friend, talking in the family or presenting, we must apply four techniques:
- link to an authoritative source. When we want to convince a person of something, we must first find out which source will be interesting to him. It will be necessary to refer to it later. For example, will your interlocutor listen to the opinion of a public person or to the opinion of Vasya from the second entrance? That is, an undeniable opinion should be brought into the conversation;
- link to the opinion of a specialist or expert. Should be found scientific facts, statistical data in order to form your own evidence base from them. Many people believe facts unquestioningly;
- appeal to mass opinion. People, not knowing what to do, often pay attention to what others are doing. Use this trick, convince the person that many people think this way;
- personal experience. If your opinion is authoritative, then to your personal experience will definitely listen.
It's easy to learn to speak competently
We have come to the main thing - competent speech. How to learn to speak competently, are there any special rules, is training in competent speech necessary?
There are rules that you can use to achieve the desired results:
- Reading a huge number of books does not guarantee you competent speech. It is important what literature to read and how to perceive it. Fiction is great for developing colloquial speech, but balancing the reading fiction with journalism and scientific research, you will be able to achieve great results. Vocabulary will be expanded in a variety of ways.
- Well-known and recognized speakers will tell you how to speak competently. You need to watch performances beautifully and competently talking people who already have the skills and speak exactly the way you like, the way you would like to speak in the future. An example would be Nevzorov, Parfenov, Posner. It is important to pay attention not only to what they are talking about, but also to their behavior, melody of speech, intonation, and facial expressions.
- Playing with yourself and choosing synonyms will help you learn to speak competently and know how to choose the right words. In moments of waiting or in transport, try to mentally select several synonyms for any word. If you conduct such classes daily, your vocabulary will increase very quickly.
- And, of course, the notorious tongue twisters. You won’t be able to pronounce them mentally, so at home, whenever you have a free minute, try, first slowly, and then quickly pronounce the tongue twisters you like. The activity is fun and useful for speech development.
This is a small but very effective part of the rules, thanks to which you can in the near future become a pleasant and interesting interlocutor or a famous speaker. It all depends on what you are aiming for.
Now let's move on to the more practical side - communication...
Have you often encountered a problem when your friend or loved one depression, but you don’t know what to tell him and how to help him overcome this condition? It is very difficult to find the right words in such a situation, because a person may react incorrectly and even inadequately. Below are the most effective words that will help you support a loved one in difficult times.
Phrases that make it clear that you care about a person:
What can I do for you?
All written sources describing this problem advise SHOWING, not TELLING. Words are not all that is helpful to a person struggling with depression.
So, what I find most comforting at a time when it is impossible to gather my thoughts is a friend coming over and preparing lunch for me, or someone offering to tidy up my place. Believe me, practical care is a great support for a person facing grief or suffering from depression. Why not go and check on a person who has completely lost his mood?
Actions are very effective when, when communicating, you express compassion to the interlocutor in a practical way. Even if he is too humble to accept such help, I can assure you that he will place your words in that secret corner of his soul that will remind him: “This person cares about me.”
Maybe there is something that could help you feel better?
Talk to the person about something that once brought them joy, or about something new that could bring them joy. Perhaps he himself will not have an answer to this question, or perhaps he will remember something that could cheer him up now, but he is not able to implement it. Then you can provide him with this support and help him do something that will lift his spirits.
Brew him tea, be close, don’t say unnecessary words, encourage him to have a confidential conversation.
Do you want me to accompany you?
Maybe the person is already used to it for a long time being alone and not even thinking about the fact that someone might be nearby when you need to go shopping or get to some place. Moreover, no one accompanied him home. You can offer such support, it will show that you really care about the person and do not want to leave him alone with his thoughts.
Such actions will say more than just the words “I’m nearby”, “I’m with you”, “You can count on me”, because you are really nearby and you can really be counted on!
Do you find support in anyone?
These words say: “You need support. Let's find a way to get it."
This question will help you understand whether a person is surrounded by support from loved ones or whether he is left to his own devices. If you know that someone is trying to support him, but he himself does not talk about it or does not notice the support as such, then this will help you understand what is important to the person, what helps him and what does not.
The more loved ones show such care, the better for a person. If you know that he feels alone in his trouble and does not receive the support of loved ones, talk to them. Let them know how important it is for them to connect and be there for you during this difficult time.
You should also not forget that you can seek help from specialists if the person himself does not mind. I think this is not the first method of help, but if you yourself cannot help a person, it is better to entrust this to professionals. Again, only with the consent of the person. He needs to be helped to understand that depression is a serious and dangerous disease, but it is completely correctable, especially if the person himself understands this and is ready to fight.
This will definitely end and you will feel the same as before.
These words do not judge, do not impose anything, and do not manipulate. They simply give hope, and this HOPE will keep a person alive, or at least motivate him to live until next day to see if there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
This is not a simple and seemingly indifferent “This will pass”, “It happens and not so.” Such words show that you really care about what is happening in a person’s life, wish him and you sincerely believe that this will soon pass.
Make it clear that this is just a disease, a treatable condition, after which there is a happy life. Everything will not end with such experiences and emotions.
What do you think about most?
This question will help determine the possible cause of depression, what causes the most concern and occupies a person’s thoughts. You explore everything possible reasons, but don’t stop at just one. When a person draws his own conclusions through such a conversation, he will take responsibility for what can be changed.
Perhaps your loved one now really needs a person who knows how to listen and encourage conversation with the right questions. Be gentle during this time and be prepared to listen more than you speak, and even be silent at the right time.
What time of day is the most difficult for you?
Try to find out when your loved one’s depressing thoughts are most disturbing and be as close as possible at this time. Don't leave him alone. Even when he doesn’t want to talk, believe me, over time this presence of yours will bring extraordinary fruits and healing.
Calling at the right time, the willingness of the other to wait until the time when he wants to talk about the problem, simply being present is very valuable! If you are nearby, hug the person, make tea, sit next to them and just be ready to help with all your being. In the most difficult times, you are there. And most importantly, they are constant.
I'm here to help you.
This is what you can say to confirm all the actions that you are already doing for a person. There is no need to throw around such words if this is not the case. But if it is true, backed up by deeds, it gives strength. It's simple. It is necessary. And in these words there is everything you need to say: I care, although I cannot fully understand everything, but I love and support you.
Silence.
This is the most inconvenient because we always want to fill the silence with something, even if it's talking about the weather. But saying nothing... and just listening... is sometimes the best and most appropriate answer in a given case.
Be sensitive and attentive. Don't chat in vain. Be closer to a person’s heart, it can understand without words.
How can you be ready to provide such support?
Supporting someone during a difficult time is not easy for the person providing the support. Firstly, because you may not know exactly how to help a person. Secondly, because you are simply worried about him, and yes, you also hurt somewhere inside from his pain!
In advance, stock up on patience and love, be prepared to wait as long as necessary. You won't always understand everything. This is not required of you. But if you are there and support and express your care in every possible way, you can do it.
But this requires a certain dedication. We are not always ready to invest so much in someone. To do this you need to really love.
Help a person find meaning in life. If you yourself are confused about this issue, we can talk about it with you. After all, there is nothing more important than condition human soul and the contribution we can make to the relationship.