Losing dear people, we experience the pain of loss. It seems that the deceased will call, come, return. You need to pull yourself together and try not to “drown” your soul by pouring out a stream of tears. For the first three days she is close to her loved ones, not getting used to her condition.
The grief of relatives has a negative effect on the incorporeal shell. After the spirit left the body, he continued the difficult path to the Kingdom of God. By observing Christian scriptures, loved ones can make it easier to remember the deceased. This is especially true for 40 days after a person’s death.
Traditions
The spirit happens in places associated with memories and feelings. Afterwards, the verdict is announced to him. This stage occurs 40 days after the death of a person. Don't stop saying prayers for his soul. You will help the deceased to be cleansed of sins. The memorial evening, which is held on the 40th day, is organized in a close circle. Do you want to observe church customs? It’s better to check with the priest: what you can and cannot do.
Drinking is usually prohibited alcoholic drinks, feast.
Table menu for a funeral 40 days after the death of a person
This includes treats:
- Compote or kvass drink.
- Light canapés.
- Salads.
- Baked goods (pancakes, pies).
- Funeral kutia made from grain, with honey.
- Cutlets, fish.
- Where does the spirit go?
For 40 days after the death of a person, his soul returns to his native walls. This is the last visit. She says goodbye to her loved ones and relatives in order to go to Eternal rest. The soul is allowed to visit places that were dear to it while it was in the physical body. Although relatives may not feel a strong presence of spirit. If you want to ensure his peace, invite a person who will organize a memorial evening with all the rituals. He will cope with the emotional situation and help avoid tears that will not bring happiness to the soul of the deceased. The torment of loved ones can, on the contrary, aggravate the sentence. If you do not want to involve third parties in what is happening, buy a psalter. It describes 40 days after the death of a person.
Alms
A special clause for 40 days after the death of a person. Collect the belongings of the deceased and distribute them to those in need. No need to throw it away! Donate to the temple instead. These are clothes, personal belongings of the deceased. Keep some memorable pieces that you won't be able to part with. It’s okay if you give some clothes to friends and acquaintances of the deceased. The amount of alms that you donate to the temple, no matter how mercantile it may sound, is taken into account when making a decision about the soul of the deceased. Give alms to passers-by, and they will pray for the repose of your relative.
Canons prescribed by the church for 40 days after the death of a person
For 40 days after the death of a person, do not stop reading prayer words . This must be done both in God's house and in our own home. A funeral service should be organized in a church if the deceased was a believer. The priest can even allow a meal in the church dining room if the deceased relative was listed as a parishioner. On this day, remember all the good things about a person, this will make his fate easier before the Lord God. Order a memorial service.
What to consider when performing a ceremony for 40 days after a person’s death?
- First the prayer service - then the meal.
- Remember the good deeds of the deceased.
- Do not drink alcohol, and do not allow fun on the funeral evening.
What should relatives do until 40 days after a person’s death?
- You should not touch the deceased's belongings.
- Do not rearrange the furniture in his house/room.
- Try not to speak badly about the deceased.
- Try to do as many good deeds as possible on behalf of your deceased.
- Be sure to hang mirrors at home, otherwise your soul may get lost in them. Interestingly, this custom is church view, is considered a superstition.
Result:
After 40 days after a person’s death, the “X-hour” begins. The soul went through all the ordeals of hell. The guardian angel presented the good deeds of the deceased to the judgment of the Almighty. The spirit visited heaven and saw the horrors of Hell. Now nothing depends on him. Angels and demons will keep a record of the good and bad deeds of the deceased. Relatives tirelessly prayed on earth for his soul. This is also taken into account when making the final verdict. This is how the soul forever breaks its connection with the material world.
Advice: after the loss of your beloved husband, brother, father, go to the monastery, order magpie. The monks will commemorate your deceased every day for 40 days after the death of a person. The soul has gone to the afterlife, and it can only be helped by prayers.
In countries where historically there are long-standing and strong Christian traditions, everyone knows that after death of a person The third day after the sad event, the ninth day and the fortieth day are of particular importance. Almost everyone knows, but many cannot say for what reasons these dates - 3 days, 9 days and 40 days - are so important. What happens, according to traditional ideas, to a person’s soul until the ninth day after his departure from earthly life?
Path of the soul
Christian ideas about the afterlife human soul may vary depending on a particular denomination. And if in the Orthodox and Catholic picture the afterlife and there are still few differences in the fate of the soul, but in various Protestant movements the range of opinions is very large - from almost complete identity with Catholicism to moving far from tradition, up to a complete denial of the existence of hell as a place of eternal torment for the souls of sinners. Therefore, the Orthodox version of what happens to the soul in the first nine days after the beginning of another, afterlife, is more interesting.
Patristic tradition (that is, the recognized corpus of works of the Fathers of the Church) says that after the death of a person, for almost three days his soul has almost complete freedom. She not only has all the “baggage” from earthly life, that is, hopes, attachments, fullness of memory, fears, shame, the desire to complete some unfinished business, and so on, but she is also capable of being anywhere. It is generally accepted that on these three days the soul is either next to the body, or, if a person died away from home and family, next to his loved ones, or in those places that for some reason were especially dear or noteworthy for this person. On the third tribute, the soul loses complete freedom of its behavior and is taken by angels to Heaven to worship the Lord there. That is why on the third day, according to tradition, it is necessary to hold a memorial service and thus finally say goodbye to the soul of the deceased.
Having worshiped God, the soul goes on a kind of “tour” through paradise: it is shown the Kingdom of Heaven, it gets an idea of what paradise is, it sees the unity of righteous souls with the Lord, which is the goal of human existence, it meets the souls of saints, and the like. This “survey” journey of the soul through paradise lasts six days. And here, if you believe the Fathers of the Church, the first torment of the soul begins: seeing the heavenly pleasure of the saints, she understands that, due to her sins, she is unworthy to share their fate and is tormented by doubts and fear that she will not go to heaven. On the ninth day, the angels again take the soul to God so that it can glorify His Love for the saints, which it has just been able to observe in person.
What is important these days for the living?
However, according to the Orthodox worldview, one should not perceive the nine days after death as an exclusively otherworldly matter, which does not seem to concern the surviving relatives of the deceased. On the contrary, it is precisely forty days after the death of a person that for his family and friends is the time of greatest rapprochement between the earthly world and the Kingdom of Heaven. Because it is precisely during this period that the living can and must make every effort to contribute to the best possible fate of the soul of the deceased, that is, its salvation. To do this, you need to constantly pray, hoping for God’s mercy and forgiveness of your soul’s sins. This is important from the point of view of determining the fate of a person’s soul, that is, where it will await the Last Judgment, in heaven or hell. At the Last Judgment, the fate of each soul will be decided finally, so those of them who were placed in hell have hope that prayers for it will be heard, it will be forgiven (if they pray for a person, even though he committed many sins, which means there was something good in him) and will be awarded a place in heaven.
Ninth day after death of a person is in Orthodoxy, no matter how strange it may sound, almost festive. People believe that for the last six days the soul of the deceased has been in heaven, albeit as a guest, and can now adequately praise the Creator. Moreover, it is believed that if a person led a righteous life and his good deeds If he has won the favor of the Lord through love for his neighbors and repentance for his own sins, then his posthumous fate can be decided after nine days. Therefore, on this day a person’s loved ones should, firstly, pray especially earnestly for his soul, and secondly, hold a memorial meal. Wake on the ninth day, from the point of view of tradition, they should be “uninvited” - that is, no one needs to be specially invited to them. Those who wish the soul of the deceased all the best should come without reminders themselves.
However, in reality, funerals are almost always invited in a special way, and if more people are expected than the home can accommodate, then they are held in restaurants or similar establishments. Wake on the ninth day, this is a calm remembrance of the deceased, which should not turn into either an ordinary party or mourning gatherings. It is noteworthy that the Christian concept of special significance Three, nine and forty days after the death of a person were adopted by modern occult teachings. But they gave these dates a different meaning: according to one version, the ninth day is designated by the fact that during this period the body supposedly decomposes; according to another, at this milestone, one of the bodies dies, after the physical, mental and astral, which can appear as a ghost. 40 days after death: the last milestone
In the Orthodox tradition, the third, ninth and fortieth days after the death of a person are specific value for his soul. But it is the fortieth day that has special meaning: for believers, this is the line that finally separates earthly life from eternal life. That's why 40 days after death, from a religious point of view, the date is even more tragic than the fact of physical death itself.
The struggle for the soul between hell and heaven
According to Orthodox ideas, which come from the holy cases described in the Lives, from the theological works of the Fathers of the Church and from canonical services, the human soul from the ninth to the fortieth days passes through a series of obstacles called aerial ordeals. From the moment of death until the third day, a person’s soul remains on earth and can be close to his loved ones or travel anywhere. From the third to the ninth days, she remains in paradise, where she is given the opportunity to appreciate the benefits that the Lord gives to souls in the Kingdom of Heaven as a reward for a righteous or holy life.
The ordeals begin on the ninth day and represent such obstacles in which nothing depends on the human soul itself. A person changes the ratio of his good and evil thoughts, words and actions only in earthly life; after death he is no longer able to add or subtract anything. Ordeals are, in fact, “judicial competitions” between representatives of hell (demons) and heaven (angels), which have an analogy in the debate between a prosecutor and a lawyer. There are twenty ordeals in total, and they represent one or another sinful passion to which all people are subject. During each of the ordeals, demons present a list of a person’s sins associated with a given passion, and angels announce a list of his good deeds. It is generally accepted that if the list of sins for each ordeal turns out to be more substantial than the list of good deeds, then the person’s soul goes to hell if, by God’s mercy, good deeds do not multiply. If there are more good deeds, the soul moves on to the next ordeal, as in the case if there are equal numbers of sins and good deeds.
The final decision of fate
The doctrine of aerial ordeals is not canonical, that is, it is not included in the main doctrinal code of Orthodoxy. However, the authority of patristic literature has led to the fact that for many centuries such ideas about the posthumous path of the soul are virtually the only ones within the framework of this religious denomination. Period from ninth to fortieth day after death a person is considered the most important, and the fortieth day itself is perhaps the most tragic date, even compared to death itself. The fact is that, according to Orthodox beliefs, on the fortieth day, after going through the ordeal and seeing all the horrors and torments that await sinners in hell, the soul of a person appears directly before God for the third time (the first time - on the third day, the second time - on the ninth day). And it is at this moment that the fate of the soul is decided - where it will remain until the Last Judgment, in hell or in the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is believed that by that time the soul had already passed all possible tests, which were supposed to determine whether a person could earn salvation with his earthly life. The soul had already seen heaven and could feel how worthy or unworthy it was to share the fate of the righteous and saints. She has already gone through ordeals and understands how numerous and serious her sins are. By this point, she must completely repent and trust only in God's mercy. That is why the fortieth day after death is perceived by the Church and the loved ones of the deceased as a key milestone, after which the soul goes either to heaven or to hell. It is necessary to pray earnestly for the soul of the deceased, based on at least three motives. Firstly, prayer can influence the Lord’s decision regarding the fate of the soul: attention is drawn both to the very fact of the indifference of those close to a person, and to the possible intercession before God of the saints to whom they pray. Secondly, if a soul is nevertheless sent to hell, this does not mean final death for it: the fate of all people will be finally decided during the Last Judgment, which means there is still an opportunity to change the decision through prayers. Thirdly, if a person’s soul has found the Kingdom of Heaven, it is necessary to adequately thank God for the mercy He has shown.
40 days after death are a special date, since it is at this time that a verdict is passed, determining the place for the soul where it will be until the Last Judgment.
If you want the deceased to go to a better place, then you need to pray for him, because this is a sure way to change the verdict in favor of a better option.
But you can pray for suicides only if the priest has blessed you to do so. It is also prohibited to submit any notes for suicides.
Commemoration means remembrance. Initially, they were arranged for poor people who, having tasted the food, could pray for the deceased. There is no point in calling loved ones, especially non-believers, for a memorial, since they will not bring any benefit to the deceased. Simply being present at a wake does not mean that such people were remembered.
You should definitely visit the cemetery: stay close to the grave and remember the bright moments in your life associated with this person. At this time, you can consider what kind of permanent headstone will be installed - an affordable marble monument or.
40 days after death - how to remember the dead
Only with sincere prayer can you remember a person. That is why it is advisable to gather believers at the funeral service who will pray for the deceased. A commemoration is needed to establish a connection with the soul of the deceased, and if this is not achieved, then there is no point in commemoration.
I would like people to understand that the table during the wake, when it comes 40 days after death, should not shine with exquisite dishes and, accordingly, drinks.
Food should be as simple as possible, and preferably lean. Food should encourage you to pray, and this is what simple food is ideal for.
By Orthodox traditions At every funeral there should be such a dish as kutia. It symbolizes rebirth and happiness in the future. The funeral begins with a special prayer over kutya, then everyone present must taste only one spoon of this dish. It has already been mentioned that lean food fits well on the table, especially in Lenten time. It is best to follow all the rules of fasting, in this way we show the Lord that we follow all the commandments and express our great love through sacrifices.
At the wake, we try to get closer to the deceased, we do everything possible to create some kind of sacred connection, but alcohol at the wake will in no way allow us to find it. Drinking man harms the deceased, he only moves away from him. The soul of the drunkard will be separated from the soul that goes to The best place. In hell, every soul remains completely alone. That is why we must do everything so that within forty days after death the scales tip in favor of the Holy Place.
If the wake does not fall during Lent, then you still need to avoid dishes that are created only to fill you up. At a memorial, the main thing is prayers, not food; prayers are important here, not pleasing the guests.
The table at a wake should be arranged for reasons following rules: it is better to avoid alcohol altogether, it is of no use, lean or the simplest food is conducive to prayers. You can do more good by donating money to charity rather than organizing a luxurious table. Set your priorities.
Under no circumstances should a wake be perceived as a gathering of all relatives, as a social event or a feast. It is very important to remember that the most important action should be prayers in the name of the deceased.
If you are afraid that the deceased cannot find peace or want to console him in the next world, go to the priest for confession before all prayers. There is nothing more pleasant for the deceased than confession. Confessing all your sins and continuing to pray in church is the best thing you can do for the soul of the deceased.
Why is this so important? Because we acquire harmony, we become close to the Lord and loved ones. Thanks to this, prayer becomes so powerful and brings benefit and joy to the deceased.
In the name of the deceased, renounce any sin. This will also give him peace and comfort. Even if you cannot pray, but you renounce some sin at least for some time, then such actions will also be counted as a sacrifice and will serve the benefit of the one for whom all this is being done. For example, you can give up some bad habit: quit smoking or give up alcohol. Everyone will only be better off from this.
As for hanging mirrors, in fact, this is a rather useless action. But what you can do is stop watching TV, at least for forty days. Those watching TV are very far from spiritual intimacy with the deceased and, accordingly, they will not be able to honor him with their prayers or actions.
All these thoughtless programs only dull and kill everything spiritual in a person to a very large extent. long term. By giving up TV, we will not only become closer to the human soul, but also enrich our inner world. In addition, when we watch TV, the soul of the deceased, watching us, becomes disappointed in us, because instead of praying, we spend time mindlessly watching the TV. The whole meaning of past efforts is lost, all connection is lost. All sacred actions were in vain, because we ourselves harm the connection that we tried so hard to maintain.
Do not indulge in fun and entertainment during these forty days. After all, during mourning it is not customary to have fun and have fun, otherwise this time would not be called mourning at all. Fun only breaks that close connection with the deceased. While celebrating something, we completely forget about our main responsibility, we plunge into an atmosphere of fun and again lose the fragile connection that is so difficult to find again. Let us not ruin all our efforts by indulging in primitive entertainment. You will still have time to have fun, and perhaps soon, but only forty days after death is clearly not this time. Try to control yourself.
How to dress for 40 days after death
What is the role of mourning clothing? It is very important to show mourning outwardly, to wear appropriate clothing, because it helps to maintain strictness and maintain proper behavior, as well as encourage prayer. However, we must remember that mourning is expressed not only by clothing, but also by the state of mind. Therefore, of course, you need to first take care of your state of mind rather than appearance, since clothing is only an auxiliary attribute for acquiring that same state of mind.
Everything in a person is closely connected, the state of the soul depends on the position of the body and, accordingly, on clothing. That's why it's important to keep your clothes simple and strict, without being pretentious or revealing. No decorativeness, practical attire - that's it. Perhaps everyone has noticed that when clothes do not match the surroundings, you feel uncomfortable, and also that clothes partly set the tone for your mood, which is why inappropriate clothing will distract you from the most important thing at a funeral after 40 days after death - from prayers .
Forget about an open outfit, it is completely out of place here, and besides, it will only upset the soul of the deceased due to the manifestation of real disrespect for him. When you care about style, you pay less attention prayers, thereby you bring with you negative energy, which will only be to the detriment of the deceased, who so needs our prayers to find complete peace and tranquility.
Therefore, when you gather for a wake, think first of all about the deceased, about how exactly you can make his fate easier, how to make sure that he ends up in a better world.
Asked by: Inna
Answered by: Site Editor
Hello! Please tell me how to remember 40 days correctly - day after day or can it be earlier/later? Thank you very much!
Dear Inna!
Home prayers and memorials must be performed on the 40th day, and the memorial table can be moved.
The pious custom of remembering the dead at meals has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many funerals turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased at the funeral table.
Before the meal, a litia should be performed - a short rite of requiem, which can be performed by a layman. As a last resort, you need to at least read the 90th Psalm and the “Our Father” prayer. The first dish eaten at a wake is kutia (kolivo). These are boiled cereal grains (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutia must be blessed with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, you need to sprinkle it with holy water.
Naturally, the owners want to provide a tasty treat for everyone who came to the funeral. But you must observe the fasts established by the Church and eat permitted foods: on Wednesdays, Fridays, and during long fasts, do not eat fasting foods.
You must abstain from wine, especially vodka, at the funeral meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a wake is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that “drunken” wakes often turn into an ugly gathering where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - wake). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
On the contrary, there are pious customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also be given clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of confirmation from the afterlife of great help to the deceased as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to begin living the life of an Orthodox Christian.
Since after death a person can no longer pray for himself, and we must do this for him. Therefore, the memorial service and home prayer about the deceased are very useful, as are good deeds done in their memory - alms or donations to the Church. But what is especially useful for them is commemoration at the Divine Liturgy. There were many apparitions of the dead and other events that confirmed how useful commemoration of the dead is. Many who died in repentance, but were unable to demonstrate it during their lifetime, were freed from torment and received peace. That is why prayers for the repose of the departed are constantly offered up in the Church.
Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.
“It was during difficult times post-war years. A mother, tearful with grief, whose eight-year-old son Misha drowned, comes to me, the rector of the village church. And she says that she dreamed of Misha and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I tell her: “Are any of his clothes left?” - "Yes, sure". - “Give it to your Mishin friends, they’ll probably find it useful.”
A few days later she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now complained of hunger. I advised to organize a memorial meal for the village children—Misha’s friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman treated the children as best she could.
She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: “Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and nourished, but my prayers are not enough.” I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave acts of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, and to the best of her ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”
Archbishop John (Maksimovich) speaks especially well about what we can do for the dead: “Everyone who wants to show his love for the dead and give them real help, Maybe the best way make this a prayer for them and especially a remembrance at the Liturgy, when the particles taken for the living and the dead are immersed in the Blood of the Lord with the words: “Wash, Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here with His honest Blood, with the prayers of Your saints.”
We cannot do anything better or more for the departed than to pray for them, remembering them at the Liturgy. They always need this, especially in those forty days when the soul of the deceased follows the path to eternal settlements. The body then feels nothing: it does not see the gathered loved ones, does not smell the smell of flowers, does not hear funeral speeches. But the soul feels the prayers offered for it, is grateful to those who offer them, and is spiritually close to them.
Oh, relatives and friends of the deceased! Do for them what is necessary and what is in your power, use your money not for external decoration of the coffin and grave, but to help those in need, in memory of your deceased loved ones, at the Church where prayers are offered for them. Be merciful to the deceased, take care of their souls. The same path lies before you, and how we will then want to be remembered in prayer! Let us ourselves be merciful to the departed.
Immediately take care of the sorokoust, that is, daily commemoration at the Liturgy for forty days. Usually in churches where services are performed daily, the deceased who were buried in this way are remembered for forty days or more. But if the funeral service was in a church where there are no daily services, the relatives themselves should take care and order the magpie there where there is a daily service.”
Let us take care of those who have gone to another world before us, in order to do for them everything that we can, remembering that the blessings of mercy are such that there will be mercy (Matthew 5:7).
A man died. What to do? How to bury? What are the funeral rites? What to do on day 40?
When loved ones leave us forever, many questions swirl in our heads, the answers to which we look for everywhere in books, on the Internet, in various symbols. In this article you will find answers to the most popular questions.
How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?
“Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not benefit him, but will harm yourself. With the repose of the deceased, calm the memory of him, and you will be comforted about him after the departure of his soul" (Sir. 38:20, 21, 23)
Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?
The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred is partly due to the belief that whoever sees his reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. A hung mirror has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.
How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?
The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.
What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?
After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the temple. The icon is not left in the coffin.
What should you eat at a funeral?
According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. They also eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased. Unfortunately, the bad custom of commemorating the deceased at this table with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. It is sinful and shameful on the part of Christians to perform such a commemoration, which brings unspeakable grief to the newly departed soul, which these days is facing the decision of God’s Court, and it thirsts for especially fervent prayer to God.
How to help the deceased?
It is quite possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good for the sake of the deceased to work for the Church or in the monastery.
About death, burial and commemoration of the dead If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter canon is read.
Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.
There is a belief that before the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings should be given away. Is this true?
You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. After death, when the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is carried out, one must intercede for it: pray and perform deeds of mercy. We must do good for the deceased: donate to the monastery, to the church, distribute the things of the deceased, buy sacred books and give them to believers from the day of his death until the fortieth day and after that. On the fortieth day, the soul is determined to the place (of bliss or torment) in which it will remain until the Last Judgment, until the Second Coming of Christ. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased with intense prayer for him and alms.
Why is the death of the body necessary?
“God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for being” (Wisdom 1:13,14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wisdom 1:15,16). For many people, death is a means of salvation from spiritual death. For example, children dying in early age, do not know sin. Death reduces the amount of total evil on earth. What would life be like if there were Cain murderers forever, betraying the Lord of Judah and others like them? Therefore, the death of the body is not “ridiculous,” as people of the world say about it, but is necessary and expedient.
Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?
While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short time was lived earthly life. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.
Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?
The Holy Fathers of the Church teach that the most powerful and effective remedy to ask the departed for the mercy of God - remembering them at the Liturgy. It is necessary, in the coming days after his death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the remission of sins of the newly deceased. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.
What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?
Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of the deceased still remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, it is timely for the church to commemorate the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God. Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints. After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, memorial services and litias are celebrated.
The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased.
The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparing and receiving a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous. On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church by submitting notes for the Liturgy and (or) requiem service.
Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?
Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: Catholics, Protestants, non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled with the confidence that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church. Being outside the Church during life, heretics and schismatics are even further removed from it after death, for then the very possibility of repentance and turning to the light of truth is closed for them.
Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unbaptized deceased?
The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him. For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home (read the canon) to the holy martyr Huar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Huar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.
Who is the newly departed, ever-remembered?
For forty days after the death of the deceased, they are called newly deceased. On memorable days for the deceased (death, name day, birth), he is called ever-remembered or ever-memorable.
What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?
If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then he must come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies and memorial services.
Do the departed pray for us?
If the deceased is righteous, then he himself, being before the Throne of God, will respond to the love of those praying for him with his own fervent prayer. Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?
Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins (since babies do not consciously commit sins), but ask to be honored with the Kingdom of Heaven.
Is it possible to pray for the repose of suicides and remember them in church?
Suicide is based on disbelief in God's Providence and despair - these are mortal sins. Mortals, because they do not give room for repentance, remove God’s saving grace from man. A person voluntarily and completely surrenders himself to the power of the devil, blocks all paths to grace. How will the influence of this grace be possible for him? It is quite natural that the Church cannot offer a propitiatory Bloodless Sacrifice for such people and no prayer at all. If the person who took his own life was mentally ill or was driven to suicide by bullying and oppression (for example, in the army or in prison), then his funeral service may be blessed by the ruling bishop. To do this, a written petition must be submitted. Private, home prayer for the repose of suicides is not prohibited, but this must be done with the blessing of the confessor.
Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?
If the deceased was baptized, then a funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the soil received after the funeral in absentia must be sprinkled in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery. The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the twentieth century in Russia due to the large number of those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.
Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?
Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.
Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased?
If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, was not a fighter against God and did not commit suicide, then you can order a memorial service, and you can have the funeral service in absentia.
Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa?
What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?
The Church never prays for suicides. We must repent of what we did at Confession and not do it again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.
What is Parents' Saturday?
IN certain days year, the Church commemorates all deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. In the morning at parents' Saturdays During the Liturgy, all departed Christians are remembered. After the Liturgy there are also general memorial services.
When are Parents' Saturdays?
Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a permanent date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.
Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?
You can and should always pray for peace. This is the duty of the living to the deceased, an expression of love for them, since the deceased themselves can no longer pray for themselves. All Saturdays of the year that do not fall on holidays are dedicated to the remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed, submit notes in church and order memorial services on any day.
What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?
Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.
Commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed Orthodox Church May 9, the holiday of Victory over Nazi Germany. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11, new style).
Why do you need to bring food to the temple?
Believers bring various foodstuffs to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the departed at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.
What is eve?
Kanun (or kanunnik) is a special table (square or rectangular shape), on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Candles are placed here and food can be placed to commemorate the dead.
What foods can you put on the eve?
Usually on the eve they put bread, cookies, sugar - everything that does not contradict fasting. You can donate lamp oil and Cahors oil for the eve. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.
If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?
Doesn't mean anything. The Lord only ends a person’s life when he sees him ready to move into eternity or when he sees no hope for his correction. “Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).
What soul does not go through ordeals after death?
From Holy Tradition it is known that even Mother of God Having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrating herself before the Lord, she humbly begged Him, so that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine hands. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them and do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13,14).
They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?
The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the ways of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5) He who lived godly, did good deeds, bore the cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God he can be granted a blessed life in eternity and regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, how can one say that he received The Kingdom of heaven?
Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?
There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.
How many days do people mourn for the deceased?
There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one, since on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the Last Judgment of God. That is why until the fortieth day it is required intense prayer about the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.
Is it necessary on the anniversary of death close relative go to the cemetery?
The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. The day of death is the day of the second birth, but for the new one - not earthly, but eternal life. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the church at the beginning of the service and submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia).
Is it possible to cremate the deceased?
Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications of Christian teaching on a different and only acceptable way of burying bodies - this is by committing them to the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59, 60). This method of burial accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and according to the world - the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence. If the deceased wished to be cremated, it is not a sin to violate this dying will. Cremation may be permissible only in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.
Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?
There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant life issues one must consult a priest.
What to do if you dream of a dead person?
You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, we should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer for it, because it itself can no longer do good deeds with which it would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer (in church and at home) for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.
What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, your conscience is tormented by the wrong attitude towards him during life?
A living person can do much more for a deceased person than when he was alive. The deceased are in great need of prayer and alms given for them. Therefore, we must devote all our strength to prayer: read the Psalter at home, submit notes of remembrance in church, feed the poor and homeless, help the old and sick and ask them to remember the deceased. And in order for your conscience to calm down, you need to go to church for Confession and sincerely tell the priest everything that it accuses you of.
What to do when visiting a cemetery?
Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of the lithium yourself, having first purchased the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.
Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?
Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.
Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?
Sunday and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days commemoration of the deceased - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as death anniversaries and namesake days of the deceased.
Information about all organizations providing funeral services, religious holidays and customs in Minsk and other cities of Belarus can be found on the website of the Ritual Services Directory