A complete collection of materials on the topic: how to resist psychological pressure? from experts in their field.

Everyone knows well how bad it is to be the object of pressure from someone else. You get a little confused - and you begin to act like an automaton, carrying out one of the children's programs: fleeing, engaging in battle, etc. How to get out of the usual rut?

The first thing you need to do in preparation for your defense is to stop your impulsive reaction and begin research.

This can be done different ways. Sometimes they recommend: count to ten. It is possible, but it has little effect. They also advise: carefully examine the person you are communicating with, look for some details that characterize him. For example, features of clothing, facial expressions, gestures or, say, features of his workplace. This helps better.

It’s even more effective to start tracking all the changes in your partner’s state that arise in the course of his actions. Try to catch your eye: where is it going? Match the content of the words with hand movements or facial expressions.

For example, it may turn out that the interlocutor does not look into your eyes, but somewhere above you or to the side, or maybe down (you feel uncomfortable for yourself?) It happens that threatening words contrast with the fuss of his hands: he pulls a button, thoughtlessly shifts something... then on the table, etc. All this information allows one to make assumptions regarding the partner’s condition, motives, and intentions.

Once you have managed to put yourself in a state of exploration, you can begin to figure out what kind of pressure you are experiencing. If it is pressure or humiliation that is recognized fairly quickly, then you can immediately begin to protect yourself from it.

So, you are under pressure: you are experiencing obvious coercion. For example:

• You are asked for something that you really would not like to do, but it is difficult to refuse, since you are dependent on the person asking.
• They offer you to do something, you refuse, but they try to put pressure on you with something:

A - You don’t want to take responsibility?
B - It looks like you are afraid.
Q - I suspect that... - some kind of insinuation follows.

It is worth recalling that pressure can be exerted using rumors, petty nagging, hidden threats, hints, etc.

Based on the examples given, in the first case it would be good to ask: “Can I disagree?” If your partner said that you are free to choose, then you can refer to this statement and refuse. If a hint was made about your addiction, try asking whether your refusal will entail any consequences.

It is important for you that the relationship between request and dependence sounds clear and distinct. Typically, the aggressor will want to avoid being seen as the aggressor (especially in the presence of witnesses) and may choose not to press further.

If this relationship was clearly outlined from the very beginning, then the point of questioning will mainly be to gain time to think through further tactics.

In the second case, pressure from the interlocutor can be weakened by a series of clarifying questions:

• A: What led you to think that I refuse to take responsibility? What am I not taking responsibility for? Who will I answer to? Responsibility must be balanced by the provision of power, what will it be expressed in?
• B: Why did you decide that I was afraid? What could I be afraid of here? Do you find any other explanations for my refusal?
• Q: What are your suspicions based on? Why did you make this assumption? How can I check your information? Have you checked this information?

The main point of these questions is to find out exactly the reasons why your partner has a power advantage. That is, you should:

You really need to identify the source of his power over you. Then you will be able to more accurately organize a response.

Maybe he is only counting on shouting - the smart thing to do is not to give in, but to wait until his shouting stock runs out, when he starts repeating the same techniques for the second time. Then the third... Or maybe the pressure is organized through those present: “Just look...”, “Well, tell me...”, “It’s clear to everyone that...”

Don’t hesitate, carefully study the reactions of those to whom these phrases seem to be addressed. Just the fact that you are looking at these people forces them to give you some kind of signal. It is very rare that there is complete unanimity among observers. It may turn out that there will be someone who will come to your defense. You can always turn the silence of those present to your advantage.

The main thing is not to let yourself be broken, calmly and leisurely object. Look for opportunities to question the identified type of power or weaken it in some other way.

Let's say there is a reference to authority - we weaken either the authority or the scope of applicability of the judgment: they say, for this case it does not fit, or only partially fits. If your partner focuses on his age, find arguments in favor of your age as well.

Do not disparage his arguments in themselves (keep the perspective of cooperation), but limit their applicability to some objective considerations. For example, a partner relies on the same a good relationship with you or previously provided services. Without belittling their importance, show how difficult it is for you to do what is expected of you. Explain in detail the essence of your problems, show why they outweigh the strength of previous services. Of course, all this must be true.

If your partner is trying to influence you due to the high pace of communication (at once), come up with a reason to stop: say that you need to call, turn off the kettle, go away - anything that can serve as a convenient excuse and allow you to interrupt the onslaught. Then set a slower pace of conversation that is comfortable for you. Moreover, every time he starts to rush you, ask again about any detail, “study the problem.”

The technique, of course, is bureaucratic, but if a partner can use an “unclean” technique, then it is not always necessary to resist “cleanly.” But this must be done just enough to stop the partner. You should stop taking it as soon as it starts to ruin your relationship.

Psychological pressure is a way of influencing a person in which it is possible to influence not only his actions and behavior, but often even his way of thinking and opinion.

Psychological pressure is used for various reasons. This is often done due to lack real power from a person under pressure or due to lack of self-confidence. A possessive person does not put pressure on others, but resolves problems, trying to use direct and honest methods.

Psychological pressure not only “breaks” the victim and causes him a lot of anxiety and loss of internal sense of security. This method of influence can also turn against the one who uses it - in the Criminal Code Russian Federation an article is provided (Article 40 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) for those who exert insurmountable psychological pressure. The article provides for punishment for psychological pressure on a person, and at the same time is an exculpatory clause for the victim of such influence - the justice of the Russian Federation considers pressure so powerful that it can drive a person to commit a crime against his will.

Thus, pressure in psychology is an extremely undesirable method of action. It may seem that knowing how to put psychological pressure on a person is healthy and effective, and very helpful in life to achieve your own goals. Many psychologists, especially those who specialize in business training, also think so. However, pressure remains an unhealthy strategy that can only produce temporary results, and in the long term brings only trauma and suffering to those around them.

Knowledge of how to suppress a person psychologically is necessary, first of all, in order to be able to resist this pressure from others. Many people are familiar with this condition in which, after manipulation, they are forced to do something that contradicts their inner beliefs. At the same time, they experience a lot of mixed negative emotions- from shame and anger to a literal split of personality into two parts.

Types of psychological pressure

There are several types of psychological pressure, each of which requires special attention to its conduct and evasion strategy. Let's list the most common types of pressure, and then we'll talk about how to resist them.

The first of them, the most simple and undisguised, is coercion. Coercion can, which has an imaginary or real superiority over its victim. This could be a boss threatening to fire you, or a backstreet bandit threatening you with a knife. Both are nothing more than coercion.

Humiliation (or humiliation) is the second type of psychological pressure. For him, the manipulator gets personal, insults (probably even publicly), emphasizes disadvantages that are painful for the victim: appearance, illness, Family status etc. The most base and offensive words are selected, which are designed to “crush” the victim of manipulation. How does this work for a manipulator, what would a humiliated person want to do for the person who told him so much? It’s very simple: after the nasty things have been voiced, the manipulator immediately offers a way through which the humiliated victim can rise in the eyes of society - to carry out the proposed assignment.

The next pressure technique is avoidance. In this case, an implicit manipulation is carried out, and when the victim tries to clarify the situation, the manipulator indignantly waves it away. Thus, the victim of manipulation is created with “cognitive dissonance” - an unpleasant feeling that she is doing something wrong. In an effort to get rid of this feeling, a person fulfills any requests of the manipulator.

Suggestion and persuasion are options for using psychological pressure. In this case, the manipulator must have some kind of influence on the victim: either have unconditional authority in her eyes, or be a person well known to her. Suggestion is more focused on emotions. The manipulator may use phrases like “Listen to me, I know for sure...”, or “Don’t you trust my opinion...”, or “I only wish the best for you, so...”.

In this case, the psychological suppression of a person occurs as if out of good intentions, as a result of which the victim adopts the imposed opinion and begins to consider it his own. Conviction is characterized by rationalization, i.e. they try to convince a person of something using the arguments of logic, sometimes quite perverted. The number of arguments, both real and imaginary, reaches such a quantity that the victim’s brain simply gets tired of perceiving the information critically and automatically agrees.

Thanks required. This is a variant of long-term psychological pressure. The manipulator first provides the victim with a service: one that he was not asked for and which did not really cost him anything. He can regularly provide such imaginary “help” to the victim, ingratiating himself with the victim’s trust. The moment you give something to the manipulator, the request to “return the favor” comes into play. The request can become quite intrusive and turn into threats if the victim does not agree to the terms immediately.

How to resist psychological pressure?

It should be understood that manipulators are not guided by a special list that says how to put psychological pressure on a person. This means that the manipulator does not choose only one method of pressure - in life there can be the most sophisticated combinations of strategies that change as they influence the victim. These methods are chosen depending on the inspiration and degree of depravity of the manipulator, i.e., practically nothing limits his imagination.

In this regard, coping strategies must be flexible. To know how to resist psychological pressure, you need to recognize that it is being put on you. Sometimes this is very difficult to do: as already mentioned, there are a lot of ways to exert psychological pressure on a person and they can form the most unexpected combinations. Therefore, you need to regularly ask yourself the question: am I doing this because I want to, or does someone else want it? If, when answering a question, you feel some kind of fragmentation, duality, if your motivation turns out to be dictated from the outside by a specific person, this is a sign that pressure is being put on you.

Psychological pressure can be defeated by resorting to straightforward resistance. However, this does not work for all manipulators, and not every victim can maintain a “fighting spirit.” A straightforward response implies that the victim, aware of his situation, tells the manipulator that his demands are unrealistic or undesirable. Some manipulators can be confused by directness and admit defeat, but in many cases the victim can be immediately entangled in a network of less obvious manipulations, accept the feeling of guilt imposed on her and become mired even deeper in the ambitions of others.

Work on yourself and your self-esteem. It is no secret that it is easier to put psychological pressure on a person if he is not confident in himself and own strength. Independently reach more high level your life, especially for a person who is already under pressure, is almost impossible, so in such situations the intervention of a specialist is necessary.

Psychologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin conducts trainings and practical sessions dedicated to personal growth, and also helps people who have fallen under the influence of manipulators to realize their own goals and learn to avoid pressure from others. Specialist help is especially required if the toxic environment includes the victim’s immediate circle of friends – family or loved ones. The psychologist will teach you how to resist the psychological pressure of your husband or parents without destroying family ties.

Psychological pressure: protection against manipulation in several steps

Psychological pressure is more difficult to recognize than to overcome. If you know exactly who is putting pressure on you and on what issues, a few things will help you. simple techniques protection. They may seem insignificant, but if you are aware of what and why you are using them, they will work. Techniques against psychological pressure are as follows:

• Create “barriers.” If you feel that an unpleasant conversation is starting in which they will try to “crush” you, put yourself and the interlocutor various items. An ashtray, a chair, a cup, a mobile phone - any, even insignificant, object on the way from the manipulator to you can become your mental “defense” and an obstacle to aggressive influence.
• Take closed poses. Cross your legs, cross your arms, put a finger to your lips or eyebrows, and support your face with your palm. All these natural barriers that you create with your own body on the path of aggressive influence will help you think more critically in relation to what the interlocutor imputes to you. In addition, these poses give confidence.
• Create mental barriers. Draw a circle near you with your imagination, stand up a dome or wall, you can mentally put yourself in a spacesuit. Imagine that behind an imaginary barrier there is your safety zone, where no one can penetrate, no matter how hard he tries.
• Distract the manipulator's attention. Move objects in front of him, perform various manipulations, cough, yawn, stretch: show any physical activity that will not allow your opponent to concentrate on what he is saying. The main thing is not to overdo it, because everything should look natural.
• Introduce your interlocutor in a funny way. For example, mentally put a jester's hat on your important boss or make him a screaming penguin. As long as you're focused on creating a funny image, you won't have time to be afraid, which means you'll have more opportunity to process and confront incoming information.

The listed techniques will help you gain confidence and find the mental resource to resist the manipulator. can be used constantly, but they are not enough to constructively discuss a controversial subject and unconditionally regain the advantage in the situation.

How to get out of pressure?

We will give specific techniques that will allow you to conflict situation turn the advantage to your side:

1. Ask questions. The first question to ask when applying pressure is: “Can I refuse this request?” Even if your opponent answers “Yes, but...”, you can already use this answer to explain your refusal. If the answer is no, you should ask a number of other questions. It is especially important during such an “interview” to monitor the reaction of the manipulator - his facial expressions or gestures. Often only a gaze is enough to break an opponent's confidence. In a situation of pressure, clarifying questions that are not direct confrontation, but help to identify “holes” in the manipulation, can help. “Does it look like I don’t want to take responsibility?”, “Does it look like I’m afraid?”, “What should I be afraid of?”, “Do you think that I have no right to refuse?”, “Why are you Are you so sure of what you’re saying?” Such questions can confuse the manipulator and buy time for the next step.
2. Determine your opponent's strategy. How and with what are they trying to break you? Maybe the manipulator refers to his experience or age? Take advantage of your experience and age. Refers to authorities? Challenge them or tell them that this figure is not an authority figure in your particular dispute. Is he trying to put pressure on others? If they are present in person, you can ask each of them why they support your opponent and not you. If the manipulator tries to gain an advantage with pace or a quick attack, take a break and tell him that he urgently needs to move away. The main thing in any dispute is to take your time and be attentive to exactly how the pressure is applied to find weak sides this method.
3. Use your advantages. It is best to use the same strategies as your opponent - find support from third parties or authorities, your own merits or experience. However, you should not overdo it: your task is to extinguish the conflict by balancing the forces, and not to provoke a new one, transferring the manipulator to the status of a victim.
4. Make an agreement. Now that the manipulator’s strategy has been reversed and he cannot unconditionally dictate his terms to you, you have an option that will suit both of you equally. Offer compromise solutions. If it is possible to forever avoid contact with the manipulator, you should cut off all the ends and no longer deal with this person.

Remember that psychological pressure is a traumatic method of influence, and it is better not to resort to it unless necessary. And if you can’t cope with the pressure on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

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