There are moments in every person’s life when it is necessary to relax, find peace in the soul, and put your thoughts in order. And then a person wonders how to gain peace of mind? The answer is very simple and we will look at it in our article. Should not be taken important decisions hastily. Peace of mind also has a beneficial effect on a person’s overall health.
Calm Benefits
This is a state of mind in which there are no internal contradictions and conflicts, and the perception of external objects around you is equally balanced.
Thanks to calmness, a person is able to:
How does calm manifest itself in everyday life?
Discussions. A calm person is able to defend his thoughts and position without rushing, without getting lost and without getting excited.
Domestic situations. A calm person is able to drown out an incipient quarrel between loved ones, relatives or friends.
Extreme situations. In the most difficult situations Such qualities of a calm person as rationality of actions and clarity of mind increase the chances of salvation.
Scientific experiments. After a series of failures, only a calm person (a scientist) will reach his intended goal, confident that he is right.
Family education. Only a family in which there are no quarrels and loud screams can raise a calm child.
Diplomacy. Calm helps a diplomatic person to take rational actions and restrain his emotions.
So, let’s conclude what peace is:
- This is the ability to maintain sobriety and clarity of mind under any life situations;
- This is the ability to act rationally despite one’s emotions;
- This is a person’s strength of character and self-control, which will help in any situation to achieve the desired result and success;
- This is a complete trust in the surrounding world and life;
- This is friendliness towards people and goodwill towards the world around us.
How to practically achieve peace of mind
In practice, many adhere to the following set of exercises necessary to achieve peace of mind:
- You need to sit on a chair and completely relax all parts of your body;
- Take a few minutes to pleasant memories in your life;
- Slowly and calmly repeat words with which you associate peace and harmony of the soul;
- Allow your breathing to bring you into a state of complete calm.
What is peace of mind and how to achieve it
Peace of mind, according to many people, is a utopia. But for most, it is considered quite normal to receive both positive and negative emotions. Of course, positive emotions should dominate. And in order to experience less negativity, you need to be aware and understand your goals and desires, while not paying attention to the opinions of the people around you. Those people who have learned this live in harmony with their soul and mind, and their actions and actions do not contradict what they said.
To overcome negative emotions you should adhere to following rules in life:
Reasons why you can lose peace of mind
In fact, there are many reasons in the world due to which you can lose peace of mind and balance. But let’s highlight the most important ones:
- Fear. Fear of some event that is going to happen in the future often disturbs us and our peace of mind. All these events that are not connected with the present moment disturb us in advance, we suffer and worry about them. And this happens until this event occurs and we see the result.
- Guilt in front of any person. Guilt is essentially an inner voice that reproaches us from within because we didn’t do something or simply offended someone. The feeling we experience weighs heavily on our thoughts. The most unpleasant thing in such situations is that we do not know how to atone for our sin and seem to be in a state of expectation of some kind of miracle.
- The weight of circumstances. This concept is the fact that we have undertaken to do something, but subsequently we cannot complete it due to some circumstances. Having made a promise, we simply cannot keep it.
- . Very often a person loses his calm because someone has offended him. Injured pride constantly reminds us of this factor and does not allow us to calm down on our own for quite a long time.
- Aggression and anger. These factors also have a depressing effect on the balance of the soul.
How to find peace of mind in the above circumstances.
- Very often, factors such as resentment, guilt or fear lead us away from reality. We constantly worry about situations that should happen or have already happened, but you just need to learn to live in the present moment and be content with what you have in the present.
- Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone perceives it adequately. Having made a mistake, you need to learn admit your guilt and deal with it appropriately, and not torment yourself because of this for a long time.
- Learn to say no» immediately if you realize that you cannot do what you have been asked to do. By refusing right away, you will not give the person hope and will not worry about the fact that you cannot fulfill your promise.
- Learn to forgive offense immediately, rather than waiting for the moment when the offender asks you for forgiveness. This may not happen at all, and your peace of mind will be lost for a long time.
- Everyone experiences negative emotions. But you should be able to release them on time. Just don’t show your anger and irritation in public. This can also lead to negative consequences and you will ruin not only your own peace of mind, but also that of the people around you.
Sergei Lukyanenko. Sixth Watch
The secret of peace of mind is the ability to let things pass by
of your consciousness intrusive streams of useless information.
Peace of mind as a personality quality – the ability to be calm, peaceful, balanced; avoiding the “swing” of life, not being too happy and not worrying too much, living in harmony with yourself and with the outside world.
Once upon a time there lived a king. And he wanted a picture that would radiate peace, tranquility and lead to mental balance. So that every time you look at her, your soul becomes calmer and lighter. The reward for such a picture was a bag of gold.
Many artists set to work. When all the paintings were completed, the king examined them, but among them only two attracted his attention. One painting depicted a quiet lake. It, like a mirror, reflected the mountains towering around it and the blue sky with white clouds. Strange flowers grew on the shore, and colorful butterflies fluttered above them. Everyone who looked at this picture was convinced that this was a perfect picture of peace.
On the second canvas there were mountains - sharp and gloomy. The sky was raging above them, there was rain and lightning flashed. A foaming waterfall cascaded down the mountain wall. It didn't look peaceful at all. However, having looked closely, the king saw a tiny bush growing from a crevice in the rock near the waterfall under a small stone canopy. A bird built a nest on it. There, surrounded by rapidly falling raging water, despite everything, she continued to hatch the chicks. It was this painting that the king chose.
Morality : Peace of mind does not arise where it is quiet and peaceful, where there is no noise and disturbance, but where, despite all the adversities of life, a person has learned, thanks to reason, to maintain calm and serenity in his soul. What matters is not what we perceive, but how we perceive it.
Human - very complex system, the mental balance of which depends on the state of its elements. It is difficult to talk about mental balance when health is shaken, illnesses have piled up, when human needs are not fully satisfied: physiological, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
Mental balance is the result of a correct understanding of the world, in which there are no idealizations, excessive joys and sufferings, excessive attachments to money and material wealth. In a state of mental balance, a living being is not aware of sadness and anxiety, it is easy for him to concentrate on the desired goal.
The open road to peace of mind is a clear conscience. There is no peace of mind from a restless pillow. Conscience always prompts the correct reaction to the challenges of life, therefore conditions are not created for the emergence of feelings of guilt, which most of all deprive a person of peace of mind.
Peace of mind is the result of peace. A peaceful person constantly experiences a state of mental peace, mental balance and grace.
What else does mental balance depend on? Moderation ensures peace of mind by avoiding excessive emotional displays. Rudeness, scandalousness, rudeness, manifested from the outside, can disturb a person’s mental balance and cause a sharp headache. Anger is always a loss of mental balance, it is an uncontrollable state. Anger is a translator of the relationship between our inner self and the outer world. If there is no tolerance and gratitude, it is immediately clear that communication is impossible. But if you have tolerance and gratitude, it’s already possible. It is already possible to feel normal in the presence of this person if there is tolerance and gratitude on his face. It no longer feels good if they tolerate me and are grateful to me. I already want to do something in response. “They tolerate me, maybe I should change my behavior?” This is already a step forward. Only in such a state of consciousness can one find peace of mind. It's a simple secret. We experience anxiety, pressure, nervousness. The secret is up to us. If we simply express tolerance and gratitude on our faces, naturally a peaceful, calm atmosphere will reign around us.
Seraphim of Sarov said: “Look at the sky more often, and not at your feet - and your thoughts will be clear and light. Be silent more than you speak - and silence will settle in your soul, and your spirit will be peaceful and calm.”
A person is deprived of mental balance by envy, anger, hatred, resentment, inability to forgive, to be forgiving, generous and compassionate. Mental balance is instilled in an optimistic, positive environment, it does not live where passions rage, betrayal, lies, mistrust, jealousy, uncertainty, disobedience, stupidity reign... Mental balance is disturbed by human pride, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance and swagger.
A person who gets carried away with creating nasty things and dirty tricks never achieves peace of mind. Eric Berne in his book “Games People Play” writes: “Games are most often played by people who have lost their mental balance; In general, we can say that the more anxious a person is, the harder he plays.”
Peace of mind is prescribed for those who are satisfied and grateful to fate for their life.
No one knows how fate will turn out...
Live freely and don't be afraid of change.
When the Lord takes something away,
Don't miss out on what he gives in return...
U sunny man life flows in peace of mind. A person with a bright soul sees the world as clear, pure and bright. As we are, this is how the world appears to us. For a person in mental balance, the world reveals its entire palette of colors.
Richard Bach wrote: “We create our own world. How can we be offended by the life we have created for ourselves? Who to blame, who to thank, except ourselves! Who, besides us, can change it as soon as he wishes?
Peace of mind largely depends on whether a person has found his life purpose, whether he has encountered work that has become a source of joy, encouragement and inspiration for him. Great Confucius wrote: “Find a job that you fall in love with and you will never have to work another day in your life.”
Awareness of thoughts leads to mental balance:
“If you want to understand what is truly yours, let go of everything, and what’s yours will remain with you.” Eckhart Tolle
"The most a great victory— victory over your negative thinking.” Socrates
“Everything you need is already within you. I believe that people create their own heaven and their own hell. This personal choice" Carl Logan
“There will come a time when you decide it's over. This will be the beginning." Louis Lamour
“People think they will be happy if they move to another place, but then it turns out that wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” Neil Gaiman
“You will never be able to live up to other people's expectations... Others will always be unhappy with something because the reason for it is within them, not within you.” Papaji
“You do not forgive others in order to heal them. You forgive others to heal yourself.” Chuck Hilling
“Live here and now! Enjoy today!” - this is the secret of peace of mind. The eyes of the dead implore us about this, looking from gravestones and old photographs: “Rejoice while you’re alive!” All the philosophers, poets and sages of the world remind us of this:
Do not mourn, mortal, yesterday's losses,
Don’t measure today’s deeds by tomorrow’s standard,
Believe neither the past nor the future minute,
Believe the current minute - be happy now!
Modern scientists, psychologists, and doctors talk about the same thing. Here is the recipe for happiness once given by the famous American doctor William Osler: “Do not ruin your happiness by burning its positive energy in the meaningless experience of past or future troubles. The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past, which you shoulder in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path. Isolate the future as hermetically as the past... The future is in the present, and the past no longer exists. The day of man’s salvation is today!” Take a closer look at the familiar faces of your family and friends: isn’t it happiness to be close to them? Therefore, forbid yourself to think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow. Enjoy, be satisfied, be comforted by the current day. And collect all the flowers that bloomed for you this morning today! Definitely today!
Peter Kovalev
Many people ask themselves the question: “How to find peace of mind and tranquility, which will allow you to harmoniously interact with the world around you, while maintaining balance at all levels (mental, emotional and physical) of your Personality”?
Having incarnated, having passed through the veil of oblivion and being in the process of life under the influence of many energies of catalysts, remembering your true self and finding inner balance is not an easy task and this is the challenge that faces everyone.
The peak of this is accessible to everyone, and all its facets are already within us. Everyone installs and configures their system within a comfortable range and boundaries.
A person’s internal balance cannot be achieved by outside influence, it must originate within, no matter how it happens, with or without awareness, but the essence will come from within. Outer side can only help with direction, but not with self-organization.
Moreover, accidents and “forays” into self-development are not helpful here. To achieve internal goals, you need to treat yourself carefully and work systematically.
Finding peace of mind and harmony with ourselves is the level of our state that is available at every moment of our reality HERE and NOW.
The nature of these things is not at all passive, but on the contrary, it is very dynamic and is realized by many other factors. All this is organized by a combination of: mental activity, energy, body, emotional part. Any of these factors has a serious impact on the others, organizing into a single whole being - a person.
Each of us faces a challenge and it is accepted by each of us, manifested in our free choice.
Human internal balance- This necessary conditions for life in our World. And if we ourselves do not form it, it will be formed without our conscious participation and brought into a certain low-frequency range allowing us to manipulate, control, and take energy.
That is why our question is directly related to the real freedom and energy independence of everyone.
Modes of formation of mental balance and harmony
Achievement is possible in two modes:
First mode
A conscious, Personally controlled process of building, adjusting and tuning all components of internal harmony. In this case, the individual balance built in the process of work is stable, positive, energy-filled and optimal.
Second mode
Unconscious, chaotic, when a person lives, unconsciously obeying and following the automatic inclusion of a chain of thoughts, emotions and actions. In this case, our nature is built in the low-frequency controlled range and is realized as destructive and destructive for humans.
Over time, having built a positive worldview that works for us, we can create our own ways to integrate and install internal balancing at any moment, even the most critical.
Factors influencing the formation of mental balance
1. Speed of stay
The desire to speed up the course of events in life, intolerance and a negative reaction in the form of irritation due to the speed at which events unfold, and rejection of what is happening contribute to the emergence of an imbalance.
Staying in the moment, accepting the flow of circumstances that we cannot influence, only contributes to the best solution questions. Our reactions to external events are key and determining for its preservation. Only we ourselves choose how to react to emerging situations and events.
All external catalysts are initially neutral in nature, and only we decide what they will be and reveal their potential.
Giving time means concentrating on every action, no matter what you are doing, fastening buttons, preparing food, washing dishes, or anything else.
Step by step, we should go through our path, pay our attention only to the present, and not speed up movements that move at their proper speed. Let a small matter into your world, give yourself completely to it, you should not constantly indulge in what worries you, you need to learn to distract your mind.
Such simple actions are aimed at pumping up awareness, but a stone wears away water and what you achieve will amaze you. It is the little things with which we begin the journey that make our consciousness more plastic and weaken all the tension that has been accumulating in us for years, pushing us into the unreal world. We don't dream about how it should be, we move towards it on our own. One day, just wash the dishes with obvious interest, think only about them, take your time, let the thought process do everything for you. Such simple logic reveals the familiar from a completely different angle. Moreover, the world itself becomes more understandable to those who are attentive and thinking, and already at this stage some of the fears recede.
We can’t control everything in life - this means that it doesn’t really make sense to fight, that’s the reality. And it often happens that any other influence we have will only bring harm to the situation and will mean that we are not yet ready to consciously find peace of mind and harmony in ourselves.
2. Moderation
Avoiding the oversaturation of the environment with excesses, the ability not to divide the world into black and white, the ability to clearly understand the level own strength, do not waste time - all this makes it possible to accumulate the necessary potential of our energy for its further use in creating a positive internal balance (equilibrium).
3. Mindset
Thoughts are an energetic substance within us. To establish harmony, it is necessary to distinguish and monitor them. But not every thought that we catch inside ourselves belongs to us. We ourselves must choose what to believe. It is necessary to consciously distinguish between the thoughts that come to us.
Our motives are mirrored in the world around us, negative state thoughts will extend to the worldview as a whole. By training ourselves to track thoughts and making conscious choices, we take responsibility for our lives, achieve peace of mind and harmony with ourselves.
Tracking thoughts involves not reacting to emerging images reflexively, automatically. Pause, feel what feelings and emotions this thought evokes, and make a choice whether you like it or not.
An unconscious, quick automatic emotional reaction to emerging negative thoughts triggers the process of production and release of negative low-frequency energy, which reduces the frequency level of energy bodies and, as a result, lowers them into low ranges.
The ability to distinguish, monitor, and choose a way of thinking makes it possible and creates the conditions for creating or restoring personal peace of mind and tranquility.
4. Emotions
Human emotions are an evaluative attitude of the Personality and a response to the influence of external life catalysts.
With a conscious attitude, our sensory sphere, our emotions, are a Divine Gift and creative Power, uniting with the Highest aspect of the SuperSoul, an inexhaustible source strength.
With an unconscious attitude and automatic emotional reactions to external catalysts, the cause of suffering, pain, imbalance.
If thoughts, figuratively speaking, are the “trigger” for the start of energy processes, then emotions are the driving Forces that give acceleration (acceleration) to these processes. It all depends on the direction of the vector’s attention and on how consciously or unconsciously the immersion in this accelerating flow occurs. Everyone chooses how to use this Power for creativity, creation, strengthening the connection with their Oversoul, or for destructive explosive releases.
5. Physical body
The body is just an extension of our thinking.
At the level of the physical body, an energy circuit is closed that connects thoughts - body, emotions - body, harmonious system - release of energy.
The use of specific mental images with the addition of an emotional cocktail is followed by an influx of individual-type neurotransmitters into the body, which determine what specific physical and moral sensation we will experience
- Positive emotions cause relaxation and calm, allow our body and all its parts not to burn through energy and work in the correct mode.
- Negative emotions, on the contrary, cause local disruptions, which can manifest themselves as spasms of smooth muscles and deformations of tissue membranes, spasms and compressions, have an accumulating effect, and therefore lead to long-term negative processes throughout the body
The human hormonal system reacts to the emotional state, which means it has a direct impact on the state of the body at the moment, with reverse side, with an increase in the level of certain hormones, emotionality also increases.
As a result, we are able to learn to control emotions by controlling, to some extent, the hormonal level of the body, and this will give us the opportunity to easily overcome some negative emotions, we will gain control over them. This skill will largely determine our potential for dodging many painful conditions, and subsequently our life expectancy.
7 tips for finding mental balance and harmony
1. Avoid strict planning
When plans are created to outline goals for development, implementation of maneuvers, achievements and results - then everything is in order. But when we control every minute of our living space, we demoralize ourselves by falling behind. We always need to run somewhere and have time to do everything. In this mode, we limit ourselves to everyday aspects and miss special opportunities to solve situations. One must be more flexible and open to the possibility of maneuvering through events without emotional suffering.
It is difficult to see every little detail of possible events in the future, but if we are capable of adjustments in the moment, nothing unsettles us, and we confidently swim in the mainstream of life, deftly controlling our “oar”, returning to the desired balance in time.
2. Symbols are not random
Nothing happens by chance. If we know how to see, distinguish and believe the signs that are sent to us from higher planes, then we will be able to manage our balance and avoid many troubles. By training to see and feel signs, you can avoid them in a timely manner. negative impacts and following the optimal frequency range of settings, adjust your presence in the flow of energies, gaining peace of mind and tranquility in life.
3. Practice Faith in God and Serving a Higher Power
We must have a sacred place, both directly (physically) and figuratively(aspiration and faith), this allows you to maintain "purity", "confidence" and "shape" the right goals. Trust! Trust in divine providence, the flow, the supreme power, and also in Yourself as the Creator is the key to following the flow, the key to a successful, calm, fulfilling, fulfilled life. Do not take the “steering wheel” out of the hands of the Supreme Providence, let me help you in the present.
4. Forget the problem for a while and trust the Universe to solve it
Often we cannot stop our thinking mind because we are worried a large number of problems. One good technique is to learn to “forget” the request. If you have a problem, you formulate it and then “forget”. And at this time your vision independently finds a solution to the problem, and after some time you will be able to “remember” your request along with its solution.
Learn to listen to your heart, to your inner voice, instinct, to your supernatural intuition, which tells you - “I don’t know why I need this - but I’m going there now,” “I don’t know why I have to leave - but it’s time for us to leave.” ", "I don't know why I should go there - but for some reason I have to go."
In a state of flow of balance, we know how to act even if we do not fully know or understand the situation logically. Learn to listen to yourself. Allow yourself to be inconsistent, situational and flexible. Trust the flow, even when it's difficult. If there are difficulties in your life, and you are sure that you listened to yourself, your intuition, and did the best you could in the current situation, do not rush to blame the flow, ask yourself what this situation teaches you.
What is flow teaching me through this situation? If there is no answer to this question, just let it go. Trust. Perhaps it will be revealed later - and you will find out “what it was all about.” But even if he doesn’t reveal himself, trust him anyway. Once again, trust is key!
5. Be smart with your time.
Don't go into the past - the past has already happened. Don’t live in the future - it has not come, and may not come, or it may come in a completely different way (the most unexpected). All we have is the present moment! Concentrate on every moment of your existence when the flow of time is at your level.
Skill be manifests itself in a conscious attitude towards consciousness slows down, and in this moment you can feel the taste and fullness of all life in every seemingly simple action performed. Feel the taste of it in the taste of food, in the aromas of flowers, in the blue of the sky, in the rustle of leaves, in the murmur of a stream, in the flight of an autumn leaf.
Every moment is unique and unrepeatable, remember it, absorb into yourself these feelings that you experienced in this unique moment of Eternity. Your feelings, your perception are unique in the entire Universe. Everything that everyone has collected in himself constitutes his gifts of Eternity and his immortality.
Balance is nothing more than the desire to live in this world at the speed at which it actually goes, that is, simply not to rush it. Feeling irritated and having a real opportunity to influence the speed of events are completely different things.
And if something really depends on you, then it can always be done calmly. And most often, the real symptoms of irritation are nervous gestures, rage, accusatory speeches that we utter to ourselves, a nagging feeling of “Well, why me?” - appear only at the moment when it is already crystal clear that we are absolutely powerless and cannot influence the process in any way.
The only thing we can do is be in one moment, without getting irritated or speeding up, to enjoy, to be grateful for it. And it is precisely with this choice and attitude that in this moment our unique and optimal mental balance and harmony with ourselves is maintained.
6. Creativity
At a level beyond our linear 3rd dimensional thinking, creativity is the unfolding of the highest divine potentials of the One Infinite Creator on a personal level. Unlocking your creative potential fills you with positive energy, allows you to achieve maximum balance, increases the frequencies of the energy sphere, and strengthens your personal connection with your SuperSoul.
By practicing something you love, especially if it involves doing some fine motor work with your hands, you enter a state where your mind automatically calms down. Right today, right now - find moments to do what you love to do. This could be cooking, making souvenirs, painting pictures, composing prose and poems, walking in nature, repairing a car, listening to your favorite music and much more that brings you joy personally.
Don't ask yourself - why? Drop rational, “right” questions. Your task is to feel with your heart, to feel the flow of circumstances, and the easiest way to do this is by doing what you like. If you like to cook, cook, if you like to walk, take a walk, try to find in everyday life something that “turns you on” to the “alive/alive” state.
7. Accept from people and life what it currently gives you with Love and Gratitude, both materially and emotionally.
Do not demand more or better, do not try to aggressively influence, offend or “teach” another.
Finally, find and experiment with what helps calm YOUR thinking mind. What exactly allows you to relax and get into a space without thoughts? Which method works best for you? Find these ways and do the most important thing - Practice.
Our optimally balanced personal balance is connected to the Divine Life Energy Flow. Therefore, in order to be in this Flow, we need to assemble ourselves in such a way that our frequencies are tuned to this Flow. Feel this Flow at the level of the heart, feelings, thoughts, remember these frequency settings, integrate these frequency settings into your energy sphere and make them your integral part.
To be here and now in one moment of Eternity on the frequency of Love in the Infinity of the One Infinite Creator!
To answer the question of how to find peace of mind, we first need to understand why we lose it. The simplest thing that comes to mind is our feelings: love, hatred, envy, fear, despair due to unfulfilled hopes, rejection of something, guilt, shame. There are so many things that can throw us out of balance... But in addition to internal vibrations, we are also influenced by external irritants: we didn’t get enough sleep, dressed inappropriately for the weather, ate something wrong, slipped on the way to work, received a reprimand from bosses - and now the world begins to turn dark, and a real storm arises in the soul, preventing us from thinking, feeling, and existing rationally.
Do you want to be in harmony with yourself? Live in peace with your body: try to get enough sleep, treat yourself to your favorite foods from time to time, don’t wear things that pinch or rub, don’t torture yourself and you will take a huge step towards finding peace of mind.
Remember how happy we were as children? The golden time, when the grass was taller than us and the clouds seemed cotton candy when our parents did not criticize our way of life, but carried us in their arms. We were loved, pitied, we were the center of the universe. Try to return yourself to this blissful time, and you will see how your soul will become light and calm. You can feel like a child both in playing with other children and in playing with yourself. For example, what is stopping you during an illness from not rushing to work in order to curry favor with your superiors, but picking up your favorite book, putting a pillow under your head and demanding breakfast, lunch and dinner from your family, and that’s it – to bed?
It’s not for nothing that the house is called a fortress. It allows you to hide from external troubles, you can take a break from annoying situations, strangers, work problems. Make your home cozy and it will fill you with positive energy every evening.
Problems in the family and at work are one of the most common causes of loss of mental balance. Troubles on two fronts at once can completely lead a person to depression. To avoid this, try to solve problems as they arise. Do not accumulate irritation to the point where it hits you with its full weight. Do you think that your superiors do not value you as a specialist? Try to prove your professional worth - not only in words, but also in deeds. They still don’t want to notice you? Resign yourself, wait for a favorable moment that will allow you to prove your professional suitability, or look for a new job.
Unfortunately, in life there are often situations that cannot be corrected immediately. Therefore, you need to learn: on the one hand, patience, and on the other, the ability to radically change your life. Hope for the best, chance, fate, God is also a good way to come to terms with what you cannot change or cannot change now.
The time constant of a problem is important for understanding how to work with it. If you don’t know how to cook, that’s one thing, you can always learn, but if you have no one to cook for, then... you’ll have to take yourself seriously. Unrequited love, like death loved one, is capable of pulling the rug out from under anyone’s feet.
The feelings of other people, like their lives, are not subject to us. You need to understand this, come to terms with this structure of the world and not torment yourself in vain. Yes, it is terribly difficult when loved ones leave, and it is unbearably bitter to know that you are not loved, but... Every person has something more valuable than those around him: this is himself.
Self-love can work wonders. Healthy egoism, interest in your own self and the ability to appreciate what you have are the foundations on which you can form a sense of mental balance and peace. See how easy it works:
- Abandoned by your loved one? It’s not scary - now we can live for our own pleasure.
- Is a colleague playing tricks on us? Amazing! There will be something to do at work, besides boring projects!
- Did your cousin buy a new foreign car? There is a reason to celebrate this matter and think about how to make money for... two foreign cars!
- Can't reset excess weight? No problem! Good man there must be a lot!
Remember simple thing: as soon as something throws you off balance, start acting. If it is possible to immediately eliminate the irritant, eliminate it; no, put off solving the problem for a while and, perhaps, it will resolve itself. Have you encountered something out of the ordinary? Give free rein to your emotions. Don't hold back your tears, anger, despair. Do you feel like you can't cope alone? Go to your friends and family. Just go outside, sit on a bench in the park and talk to a completely stranger. The feeling of newness, an action that you perform for the first time in your life, will help you discover yourself with unexpected side, one in which the problems that have arisen may turn out to be completely insignificant.
You can try to remove mental heaviness... with spiritual joys. Remember what you like most and do it as soon as possible. Dizzying shopping, going to the cinema for the long-awaited premiere, going fishing with friends, playing your favorite computer game– any little things can become a starting point for finding peace of mind.
How to find peace of mind in a raging world of suffering, anxiety, worry, constant problems, etc.? How to maintain Christian peace of mind in situations when people irritate us or various situations infuriate us?
Often we feel tired and then we understand what Christ’s words mean: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (). He who is young cannot feel this fully: he has no burden, but a mature man himself has gone through many dangers, sorrows, difficulties, failures, powerlessness, and the years add fatigue and burdens to him, and he wants to rest, to put it where Somehow this burden, free yourself from it.
Who can truly give relief is Christ. Nobody else. Everything else that we do is human, it can only help us to some extent, for example: we can go on a trip, go to the village to good friend, some other nice place. This also helps and calms us, but not deeply. Only Christ can truly give peace to a person’s soul, because He Himself is the Peace of our souls.
As we say at the Holy Liturgy, “we surrender ourselves, and each other, and our whole life to Christ our God.” Let us surrender to Christ all the heaviness of our “I” and the “I” of the people around us, our worries, anxieties, torments, fears, sorrows, pain, complaints - let us unload all this into the hands of God and surrender ourselves to Christ our God.
As Elder Paisios said more than once, we are like a man holding a bag full of junk on his back. And God comes and snatches it from our hands so that we do not carry this bag full of all sorts of obscenities, garbage and uncleanness, but we do not let it go. We want to keep it with us and carry it with us everywhere we go. But then God comes and snatches it away:
Yes, leave him, let him out, throw away this bag full of all sorts of things! Throw it away, don't carry it around. Well, why did you grab onto him? Why do you need him? So that you continue to be tormented and suffer in vain?
But we - no, we won’t let him out for anything! Like stubborn children clutching something tightly and not wanting to give it up.
A young man once came to Holy Mount Athos to become a monk, but he was tormented by some difficulties. And one day, when he was in the temple, the elder looked at his face and said:
Look at this one young man: he does not allow a single thought to escape from him!
That is, he does not allow any thought to run away from him and he would remain for 5 minutes without thoughts.
His mind is like a mill, constantly grinding something. He puts material into it, puts stones, and it produces dust and sand.
He called him over and said:
Come here! Well, why are you sitting there like a television antenna, receiving all the waves sent from the transmitter! Leave at least some, let him run! Your mind is like a mill that is constantly turning. Watch what you put into your mind! Naturally, if you put in stones, dust and sand will come out and dust will rise in a column. So invest good material into your mind. Put in good, good thoughts, good concepts, put in prayer, because this is how you only torment yourself. After all, everything that you endlessly grind falls on you, and not on anyone, and you are tormenting yourself in vain.
A person must learn to take care of himself so that there is no disorder in his mind that has no end and which destroys us: after all, our mind can destroy us and create many problems for us. Therefore, we must turn to God through prayer, confession, humility, and leave everything that occupies us in the hands of God, and find peace. And you will find rest for your souls.
Christ came into the world to comfort us, and not to confuse us, to confuse us. Give us peace, rest, because He knows that we are tired, and the more time passes, the more tired we become. This is a great art, and the Church owns it.
I once spoke with a psychologist, and he asked me:
How many people do you see per day?
I answered him:
Now that I’m older, I can’t stand much: 50–60, up to 70 a day. And when I lived in the Mahera monastery and was younger, sometimes there would be 150: I started at 4 in the morning and finished at 7–8 in the evening or later.
He told me:
What you are doing to yourself is not good, it is very cruel. We cannot accept more than ten people a day. As psychologists who accept people, we accept ten at most; we cannot stand more.
Yes, but only we have one advantage - as soon as we leave the confessional, everything disappears. This is an amazing phenomenon. After all, we hear so many things! Just think what the confessor hears. Nothing nice, and above all, no one tells us nice things. It's like seeing a doctor. Is there anyone who goes to the doctor who would say to him:
Doctor, I came for you to look at me, otherwise I’m too healthy!
No. Just illness, wounds, blood, pain. And we will not go to our confessor to tell him our virtues, achievements, joyful events in life, but only the bad, sorrowful, indecent things, only failures. But you are a human being, how long can you endlessly listen to nothing but bad things and sins?
One day a child asked me:
Sir, has anyone come to you to tell you that they have committed murder?
I told him:
And you weren't dumbfounded?
I wasn't dumbfounded.
He looked at me in surprise:
But seriously?
Yes, I'm serious.
And if he were alone... Many people today are burdened, and there are so many problems in the world. But we don’t keep all this in ourselves, and therefore our stomach and heart do not suffer, we do not fall under the weight of human pain, but we transfer all this to Christ, because Christ is the Lamb of God, who takes away and bears the sin of the world, and our sin too . Christ is the One who is really present there and takes on all this load. But we don’t do anything, we are just ministers, we perform our service, and there is Christ, who accepts every person.
I tell you this not only from my experience as a person who confesses, that is, a believer who confesses once every 2-3 months, but also as a person who has been confessing people for more than 35 years, who has confessed thousands of people. And I tell you that this is a sacrament that we perform 50 times a day, and often daily, to the point of complete exhaustion, but I am absolutely convinced that Christ is present there. We see it all the time: He receives people, He listens to people, He responds to people, He heals a person, and we are spectators of all this.
Like a cashier in a bank, through whose hands millions of rubles pass per day, but they are not his. He takes them, writes them down, sends them to his boss - he just does the job. It's the same with the confessor. He is a witness, he testifies to God's presence there, he is an instrument that God uses. But Christ performs the great sacrament of healing a person, answers what a person asks, and performs the mystery of saving a person.
This is the most great experience, which only a person can have. I often say this when I ordain priests, that from now on you will see how God works with your hands. God will be a daily reality for you. It is a miracle, an everyday miracle, repeated hundreds of times a day, when all these interventions of God happen (as the fathers say) without you doing anything. You are simply fulfilling the external part of this connection between man and God, but in reality Christ, who takes away the sin of the world, takes on the load - ours and the whole world.
But in order to feel this, you must first understand that Christ takes away our sins - spiritual fathers, priests, bishops, and if He takes my sins, then He takes the sins of all people. And I cannot be indignant or doubt that He will bear the sins of my brother. Because ours personal experience- this is a huge proof that Christ came into the world to save sinners, as the holy Apostle Paul says, of whom I am the first ().
If Christ endures and saves me, if He did not reject me and put me out of sight, then I can tolerate any person, because, without any doubt, my brother is better than me. Whatever he did. Because, without any doubt, there is no one below me. This is how a person should feel that “there is no one lower than me.”
Although it seems to us that it is difficult, it actually makes it very easy, because what more people humbles himself before God, the more he recognizes that God is his Savior, and thanks Him for saving him, for becoming Man for our sake, for putting up with us. And when I say “endures,” I mean myself, and not others, myself, each of us individually.
So, when I feel this, the more I feel it, the easier it becomes for me, and the more I cry and sob about my wretchedness and wretchedness, the more consolation I feel. This is the secret of the Church. You find joy not in worldly joy, but in pain. Where pain is visible, where sorrow is visible, where the cross is visible, where fatigue is visible, there is consolation. There, on the Cross, there is joy. As we say, “for behold, joy has come to the whole world through the Cross.”
In sorrow, in repentance, in the feat of repentance with humility, a person receives rest. This is something paradoxical. In the Church, the more a person cries, the more he rejoices. The more he learns the art of tears, crying in prayer, the more he rests and purifies. Tears in spiritual space are the key that reveals to us the secrets of God, the secrets of God's grace. And the more he cries, the more he rejoices, has fun, is consoled, purified and receives rest.
Our hope and faith are in Christ, He is our rest. Without Him we do not rest. No one can give us a rest. And what we think gives us rest tires us beyond belief. A person thinks that if he is rich, he will feel good. However, wealth is a merciless, merciless, cruel tyrant; there is no joy in it. It is a burden that, like a shadow, constantly haunts you.
A person may think that worldly fame gives relief when you have great fame, name, power in the world. But nothing like that, absolutely nothing: all this is fatigue, burden, deception, tormenting us unimaginably. None of this can bring relief to a person; he receives relief only near God, only in that which is true, genuine, only in that which conquers death. Everything else is doomed to death, and this tires us unimaginably, because first of all it brings us uncertainty.
What can help me? Can I count on my health? How's your health? After all, I don’t even know what will happen to me in the next minute. And, thank God, today we have so many diseases awaiting us. There are so many dangers, difficulties, misfortunes, fears. So who can give me certainty? Certainty is the false feeling that these worldly things give you.
As the Gospel says about the last times that fear will reign on earth, today fear and uncertainty are a huge phenomenon. If you talk to someone about illness, he will immediately tell you: “Knock on wood so that we stay healthy!” Knock on wood. Yes, knock on anything: even on wood, even on a board, even on iron, even on a wall, whatever you want, but when the time comes to knock on your door of illness, then we will see what you will knock on. No matter what you knock on, you won't succeed.
We hide reality, it terrifies us. All this, in essence, torments us, while Christ really is the Quiet Light. He is God's Light, enlightening man, calming him, reassuring him, giving him a feeling of the eternal Kingdom of God. When a person has a feeling of the eternal Kingdom, what can terrify him, what can upset his mood? Nothing scares him, not even death itself - for the man of God, all this takes on a different dimension.
Of course, we are people, and humanity functions in us, but, as the Holy Apostle Paul says, we have hope in Christ. It is one thing to suffer without any hope, but another to have hope in Christ. This is a powerful foundation on which you stand, and it is difficult to shake you. This foundation is Christ, our Savior, towards whom we have boldness, because we feel Him as our own: “My Christ,” the saints said. And Christ, the Savior of the whole world, leads us to God. Having become Man, He brought the whole world to God the Father.
Having faith in God, in Christ, we become unshakable. We do not hesitate, do not budge when we are overwhelmed by waves of temptation, lack of faith, difficulties, when difficult times come. After all, God allows even great saints to find themselves in very difficult situations, there are unimaginably difficult moments when God seems to leave people and is silent, and you feel that you are alone. And not only this, but all evil falls upon you at once, and one evil comes after another, one temptation comes after another, one failure after another, and you no longer see God anywhere. You don’t feel Him, as if He abandoned you. But we remain convinced that God is present.
As Elder Joseph the Hesychast said to himself when these thoughts were choking him: “Everything you say is good. There is a lot of logical confirmation and evidence that all this is as you say. But where is God here? Where is God? Will He leave us in this situation? Is it possible for God to leave us? God never leaves us. And if we fry in life’s temptations, then God is also there, with us.
And then, when these sorrows pass, we will see that the most fruitful in spiritually The period of our life when Christ was really with us was precisely the period of many sorrows. There, among many sorrows, God's grace is hidden, and not among joys.
Among joys it is also good. And here we also thank God. But who doesn’t say in the midst of joy: “Glory to God”? Isn’t it true that when we experience joy, we say: “Glory to God! We are fine!" However, can we say: “Thank God, everything is bad with us! Thank God we are sick! Thank God we are dying! Thank God, everything is falling apart around me. But still – thank God”? Like Saint John, who always said and ended his life with the words: “Glory to God for everything!”
It is a great thing to praise God for everything: for the joyful and for the sorrowful, for the easy and for the difficult, for successes and for failures. But most of all for sorrow. Sorrows make us mature, and when everything is fine with us, we forget - such is our nature - we forget God, our neighbors, our brothers and all the people suffering around us...
Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol
Translated from Bulgarian by Stanka Kosova
Faculty of Theology, University of Veliko Tarnovo