Showing emotions is an integral part psychological portrait each person. There are no emotionless people; there are only those who, for some reason, hide or restrain their true feelings. In the eyes of others, such individuals look extremely closed and distant, causing mistrust and even fear. And all because emotional reactions are very difficult to control by the mind; it is even possible to realize them only after the experiences have subsided. So there must be really good reasons for deliberately hiding the mood, disguising it behind a demonstration of composure.
For example, suppression negative emotions like anger or resentment can be explained by the desire to preserve reputation or protect loved ones from unnecessary worries. Internally struggling with sensual attachment or emotional dependence may also seem like a commendable act of self-denial. But is it always worth trying to take control of the psychological mechanisms created by nature? And won’t this later turn into even bigger troubles than a strong but short-term explosion of passions?
Do you need to kill your emotions?
Emotions are conceived by nature as natural indicators and at the same time regulators of state nervous system person. Even after learning to control them at will, you will be able to control no more than 10% of these reactions. Everything else will remain in the realm of subconscious processes and will continue to manifest itself somatically. Inept suppression of emotions can lead to various physiological abnormalities, including chronic diseases.
At the same time, blindly following your emotions is a sign of moral immaturity and irresponsibility to others. An overly nervous, exalted person who does not give himself the trouble to control his immediate reactions makes an unpleasant impression and encourages you to reduce communication with him to a minimum. So where is the golden mean that determines which emotions can be freely expressed and which should be strictly restrained? At first glance, it may seem that negative emotions need control, and positive emotions need demonstration. However, in reality their classification is much more complicated.
Psychologists divide emotions not into “good” and “bad”, but into constructive and destructive. And this characteristic largely depends on the situation and the person showing his feelings. Roughly speaking, in different circumstances the same emotion can be both desirable and vice versa. In order to identify it as the first or second, you first need to at least realize what is happening, and most emotional reactions are accompanied by a state akin to affect, when common sense does not take part in what is happening. Therefore, many overly emotional people who recognize this characteristic of themselves turn to specialists for help.
Fortunately, most people are able to manage their feelings, or at least most of them, on their own. This is the main sign of constructiveness in emotional manifestations. As long as your emotions are not harmful to you or others and can be recognized, they can be considered constructive and released. You need to work and restrain those passions that are stronger than you, and instead of subordinating your will, they themselves subordinate your behavior. If in a calm state you would not want to do what you would do in a fit of emotions, it means that you depend on these feelings, and instead of release and satisfaction, they cause harm, and not only to you.
How to suppress and/or control emotions
So, when it has become approximately clear which emotions are worth fighting, let’s move on to the second, no less important question. What is suppression of emotions and what is control over them? Which action is preferable in most life situations? Oddly enough, the answer can be given quickly and succinctly: reasonable control is always preferable to any pressure. Especially in such a subtle area as psychological reactions.
Killing emotions means denying your body natural reactions to what is happening, even if it needs these reactions for protection. Therefore, it is much better to be not a “killer”, but the master of the situation and try to manage it. To do this, you will have to pull yourself together and take a number of difficult but necessary actions. Over time, they will begin to come easier to you and, perhaps, even become automatic skills. 
Choose one or more of the following techniques for managing your emotional state so that you can use a new skill at the next opportunity. Its benefits are undeniable and will save you not only from exhausting experiences, but also from other negative consequences related to communication. Most emotional outbursts are within your control when you do them. This does not require either alcohol or psychotropic drugs, the use of which is generally extremely undesirable and is allowed only as prescribed by a doctor and under his supervision. Be calm, balanced and keep peace in your soul and thoughts.
Sedona method (Emotional Release Method), developed by Lester Levenson. Lester Levinson was a very successful producer when he unexpectedly found himself in a clinic with a whole range of cardiovascular diseases. The doctors prophesied for him imminent death and/or be bedridden for the rest of your life. But L. Levinson decided differently for himself. He realized that all his problems had their key on the emotional level. Therefore, he developed and applied for himself a very simple and very effective method"releasing emotions"
Most people use three ways to deal with their feelings and emotions: suppression, expression and avoidance.
Suppression- this is the worst method, since suppressed emotions and feelings do not go away, but grow and fester inside us, causing anxiety, tension, depression and a whole range of stress-related problems. The repressed energy of these emotions eventually begins to control you in ways that you don't like or control.
Expression- This is a kind of ventilation. By sometimes “exploding” or “losing patience,” we free ourselves from the oppression of accumulated emotions. You may even feel good because it translates energy into action. But this does not mean that you have gotten rid of these feelings, this is just temporary relief. Plus, expressing our emotions can be unpleasant for the person on the receiving end. This, in turn, can cause even more stress as we begin to feel guilty for hurting someone by expressing our natural feelings.
Avoidance- this is a way to cope with emotions, distracting from them through all sorts of entertainment: conversations, TV, food, smoking, drinking, drugs, movies, sex, etc. But despite our attempts at avoidance, all these feelings are still there and continue to take their toll on us in the form of tension. Thus, avoidance is just a form of suppression. It has now been proven that various emotions and desires are reflected in our body in the form of tension (tension, spasms) in very specific areas. By the way, the methods of so-called “body-oriented psychotherapy” are aimed at getting rid of these clamps, sometimes giving absolutely fantastic results that are unattainable with medicinal methods.
Even systematic training in complete relaxation all muscle groups (progressive relaxation method) gives very good results for mental and body health and significant improvement mental abilities. Since literally every cell of our body has its own representation in our brain, and any tension in the body naturally has a corresponding excitation zone in the brain.
Thus, the more such excitation zones, the fewer resources the brain has for normal mental activity. It is interesting to note that, according to this theory, “good” feelings and emotions are almost no different from “bad” ones, and also have their own representation in the body and brain. Therefore, the method of releasing emotions is aimed at working with all types of emotions. Many years of practice in its use have already proven the effectiveness and necessity of this approach.
This powerful method brain training to achieve harmony and even accelerate thinking, implemented without any technical means. This is the healthiest way to deal with your emotions. This technique has a cumulative effect. Each time you release emotions, a charge of repressed energy (additional areas of the brain) is released, helping you later think more clearly, be more able to handle all situations more calmly, and in a more productive and healthy way.
Over time, by releasing more and more repressed energy, you can achieve a state of equanimity in which no person or event can throw you off balance or deprive you of a state of calm clarity. Everyone who practices this method notices very rapid positive changes in their mental and physical state. Moreover, their life goals and the plans became clearer to themselves and more positive.
You should not think that as a result of using the method, a person becomes like an insensitive doll; on the contrary, you regain the ability to experience strong and pure emotions, as in childhood, but without being “glued” to them for a long time. Also, there is no need to specifically practice this method all your life with every emotion. After about three weeks of regular practice, the method becomes automatic and stays with you forever. In the future, it will be enough just to pay attention to your feelings for natural automatic release to occur.
Step one:
Focusing. First, you need to focus on some problem area in your life - something that needs immediate attention. Perhaps this is a relationship with a loved one, parents or children; this could be about your job, your health, or your fears.
Or you can simply ask yourself, “What are I feeling right now? What emotions am I experiencing right now?” You can focus on a problem either before or after your training session. One way you can find out which problem area is you need to work, or what you actually feel right now is to get out" zero level", that is, simply, relax deeply (using any technique available to you).
Step two:
Feel it. Once you have reached “level zero”, think about what problem you would like to deal with. With focus, identify your feelings about the problem. Once you've completed the first step, go straight to your actual feelings. Ask yourself: "How am I feeling right now?" Lester Levenson discovered that All our emotions and feelings can be divided into nine main categories, or feelings.
Apathy. Many other emotions and feelings result from or accompany apathy. When we ask ourselves how we feel, we may use words such as: bored, useless, lack of self-care, cold, alienated, indifferent, defeated, depressed, discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, forgotten, worthless, hopeless, joyless , indecisiveness, indifference, laziness, lostness, loss, denial, numbness, depression, powerlessness, humility, resignation, stupefaction, disorientation, stuckness, fatigue, distraction, uselessness, pointless effort, low self-esteem. All this, according to Levenson, is a type of apathy.
Grief. We can use words such as: abandonment, resentment, guilt, mental anguish, shame, betrayal, despondency, deception, stiffness, helplessness, heartache, rejection, loss, melancholy, loss, sadness, misunderstanding, breakup, pity, I'm unhappy , remorse, abandonment, remorse, sadness.
Fear. Types of fear include: worry, preoccupation, caution, caution, cowardice, suspicion, timidity, apprehension, confusion, anxiety, nervousness, panic, fright, unsteadiness, shyness, skepticism, stage fright, tension, being overwhelmed.
Passion. This is the "I want" emotion. We can feel: anticipation (anticipation), craving, need, desire, wandering, controllability, envy, futility, greed, impatience, manipulativeness, neediness, obsession, pressure, ruthlessness, selfishness, anger.
Anger. We can feel: aggressiveness, irritation, reasoning, challenge, demandingness, disgust, ferocity, futility, fury, hatred, intolerance, jealousy, insanity, significance, insult, rebellion, resentment, indignation, rudeness, bitterness, severity, stubbornness, stubbornness, gloominess, vindictiveness, anger, rage.
Pride. We may feel: exclusivity, arrogance, arrogance, boastfulness, giftedness, contempt, impudence, criticism, pickiness, judgment, righteousness, inflexibility, self-love, snobbery, luck, superiority, inexcusability, vanity.
Bravery. Varieties of feelings can be the following: enterprise, adventurousness, liveliness, agility, competence, determination, awareness, confidence, creativity, audacity, courage, bravery, determination, energy, happiness, independence, love, motivation, openness, faithful, positivism, resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, stability, solid, strength.
Acceptance (approval). We can feel: balance, beauty, compassion, pleasure, delight, delight, admiration, empathy, friendliness, tenderness, joy, love, openness, receptivity, security, understanding, surprise.
World. We can feel: peace of mind, balance, completeness, freedom, fulfillment, perfection, purity, tranquility, serenity, tranquility (lack of physical stress), integrity.
Step three:
Identify your feelings. Now, with this list in mind, determine how you really feel. Open yourself up, become aware of your physical sensations - do you feel tightness in your chest? Tension in the stomach? Feeling heavy? Heartbeat? As you become aware of your physical sensations, use them as key points to explore your feelings. What word comes to mind?
When this word comes to mind, try to determine which of these nine categories your feeling belongs to. Levenson discovered that the process of releasing feelings is much more effective when the feelings are released in their most “pure” or “distilled” form - as one of the nine designated words. For example, as you explore your problem area, you may decide that your feelings are “hesitation” or “anxiety.”
You can then release your indecisiveness or anxiety and feel some relief. However, if you trace these feelings back to their source, you will find that they fall more into the category of fear than indecision and anxiety. By releasing your fear, you will find that the results are much more dramatic and powerful. It's the same as attacking the problem at the root, or plucking off only part of the upper branches.
Step four:
Feel Your Feelings. Once you have identified your true feelings in relation to your chosen problem area and traced them back to the root, begin to feel your feelings. Let them fill your entire body and mind. If it's grief, you may burst into tears or even sob. If it's anger, you may feel your blood boil, your breathing change, and your body tense. It's wonderful - this is the time to fully experience your feelings and emotions.
Step five:
Could you? Now that you are truly feeling your feelings about any problem area in your life, ask yourself, “Can I let go of these feelings?” In other words, is it physically and emotionally possible for you to allow these feelings to leave you right now? Think about it.
Begin to realize the deep difference between yourself - your "I" and what this very "I" feels now. Sometimes you may feel that your feelings are some kind of energy charge that is in the same place as your body, but in fact, is not your body. Or it is a shadow image that is slightly out of focus, unlike your actual self.
One way or another, at some point, you will clearly feel that your feelings are not really your feelings. And when you begin to feel the difference between your feelings and your Self, you may notice that it is now possible for you to let go of these feelings. If it is unacceptable for you to part with these feelings just yet, feel them for a while longer. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can say to yourself: “Yes, I could let go of these feelings.”
Step six:
Will you let them go? If you were able to let go of these feelings, the next question you would ask yourself would be, “Will I let go of these feelings?” Think about it again. Often, having the full opportunity to “let go of feelings,” we are actually more likely to “hang ourselves” over them. You may find yourself thinking, "No, I'd rather keep these feelings than get rid of what I'm feeling now." If so, then continue to feel what you feel now. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can honestly admit to yourself: “Yes, I would let go of these feelings.”
Seventh step:
When? If you let go of your feelings then next question, which you ask yourself: “When?” Similar to the previous steps, at a certain point you will answer: “I would let go of these feelings now.”
Step eight:
Liberation. When you have said to yourself, “Now,” let go of your feelings. Just let them go. In most cases, you will actually feel physical and emotional release when you let them go. You may suddenly burst out laughing.
You may feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders. You can feel a sudden wave of cold run through you. This reaction means that all the accumulated energy from experiencing these feelings has now been released and made available to you as a consequence of the liberation of feelings that you have just made.
Step nine:
Repetition. When you release your feelings, you will want to check yourself: “Are you feeling any feelings?” If any feelings are still present, then go through the whole process again. Quite often, release is like turning on a faucet. You release some, and others immediately appear.
Some of our emotions are so deep that they require multiple releases. Release yourself as often as you can until you find that you cannot detect any sign of emotion in yourself.
Liberation of desires.
After enough practice in releasing emotions, moving in each session from specific feelings to one of the nine basic emotions, you may find that it is even more useful to turn to the deeper levels of your Self - the claims of your EGO - desires.
According to Levinson, the source of all our emotions, which we divided into 9 basic categories, are two even deeper levels - desires. I - desire for approval, self-affirmation; II - desire to control. Every act of desire is an indicator that you do not have what you want. In Levinson's words: "What we don't have is hidden in our desires." It may be confusing at first: what’s wrong with wanting approval and control? In fact, as already noted, to want means not to have. It turns out that often the desire to have something actually prevents us from having it.
Great wish.
Those who have conscientiously completed all levels and want to move even further ultimately come to the conclusion that at the heart of all our desires lies one big desire - the “desire for security.” After some time, working through this desire takes us to a new transcendental level, described in various esoteric teachings as the highest stage of enlightenment. A person who has reached this level exhibits various extraordinary abilities and capabilities.
In general, suppression is defined as the action of reducing some influence, up to its complete disappearance.
Psychology views suppression as one of the mechanisms of psychological defense or as a conscious inhibition of reactions (suppression of feelings or emotions). Conflictologists explain this term as the maximum reduction in the possibilities of an active reaction of the opposite side in a conflict. Let's talk about all three understandings.
Containing feelings
Suppression of emotions is an active influence on emotions in order to prevent their violent manifestation. This is not the same as restraint and the ability to manage your emotions. Such personality qualities are an indicator of developed psychological culture and good breeding.
The suppressive effect is situational, that is, it acts in a specific case when a pronounced reaction is undesirable. And most importantly, one-time suppression of emotions does not cause harm to health. But if constantly holding back strong emotional reactions has become a way of life, it really won’t lead to anything good.
If a person is always calm and famous for his ability to maintain composure, does this mean that he simply suppresses all negative emotions? Not at all. There are individuals (and there are many of them) who are not close to such emotions at all, and there is no need for them to suppress them. In the same way, there is no need to suppress negative emotions of low strength. It is better to try to switch such sensations that have not yet flared up, to transform them into others.
What can make you constantly suppress emotions?
- Personality type. A person who by nature is inclined to worry, feeds negative emotions, instead of directing this energy to useful activities.
- The habit or attitude of seeing negative sides life, disadvantages, not advantages.
- Patterns of “bad” or “indecent” emotions developed by family or society.
The more yelling or hitting becomes a habit, the less it helps. When such behavior loses its novelty (and this happens quite quickly), it no longer works as a release, but is consolidated as a bad tendency. Instead of venting, it is better to try to talk out your resentment or anger, or - this will be most effective - to let it be released in physical activity (sports, dancing, walking or even cleaning).
Protection mechanism
If we mean a defense mechanism, then we need to turn to psychoanalysis. Suppression is expressed in blocking unpleasant information by transferring it from consciousness to the unconscious area, where its activity decreases.
Repression is similar to repression, but there are several important differences between the two. So, the first is a completely conscious action, but the second is the result of work. Repression is a more complex, deep process, and suppression, in comparison, is simplified. When repressed, as a rule, what is forgotten is not the action itself and the emotions accompanying it, but its reason, the motive.
If suppression becomes the leading one, then depression may develop as its extreme manifestation. Individuals who are accustomed to using this mechanism are usually obligatory, precise, and sensitive to ethical issues.
Manipulation method
It is important for such people to be depended on and obeyed; this is their main way of self-affirmation. It is also possible to suppress a desire, dictated by purely rational calculations (to get rid of a competitor) or generated by a person’s character traits (a personality prone to aggression, authoritarianism).
Or maybe psychological humiliation brings them pleasure - alas, this is not excluded. There are a number of signs that will help you recognize suppressors.
- Generalizations are often used (“Everyone knows that...”).
- They avoid taking responsibility.
- They like to shift the blame onto others.
- First of all, they notice shortcomings and focus on troubles.
- They devalue the suggestions of others.
- They like to judge and make comments.
How it manifests itself psychological pressure in speech? The most obvious indicator is tough communication in an orderly tone and with categorical wording, implying the subordination of one interlocutor to another. Interrupting your opponent and ridiculing his arguments are also favorite techniques of suppressors. All this makes the interlocutor feel insecure, causes anxiety and forces him to give in.
There are also more sophisticated methods of pressure - for example, an attempt to attack the interlocutor intellectually. The use of complex terms and ornate phrases, especially in combination with a high rate of speech, will make anyone doubt their own competence.
It is very difficult to resist such people (even if you are a person with stable, adequate self-esteem); it is best to try to reduce communication with them to a minimum. Author: Evgenia Bessonova
Suppressed emotions do not dissolve in the body without a trace, but form toxins in it, which accumulate in the tissues, poisoning the body. Suppressed anger - completely changes the flora in the gallbladder, bile duct, small intestine, causes inflammation of the surface of the mucous membrane of the stomach and small intestine.
Suppressed fear and anxiety change the flora in the colon. As a result, the stomach becomes distended with gas, which accumulates in the folds of the colon, causing pain. Often this pain is mistakenly attributed to heart or liver problems.
The physical expression of emotional stress and emotional toxins accumulated in the body are muscle tension, the causes of which can be both strong feelings and excessive strictness of upbringing, ill will of employees, lack of self-confidence, the presence of complexes, etc.
If a person has not learned to get rid of negative emotions and is constantly tormented by some difficult experiences, then sooner or later they manifest themselves in muscle tension in the facial area (forehead, eyes, mouth, back of the head), neck, chest area (shoulders and arms), lumbar, as well as in the pelvis and lower extremities.
If all these conditions are temporary, and you manage to get rid of the negative emotions that provoke them, then there is no reason to worry. However, chronic muscle tightness, in turn, can lead to the development of various somatic diseases.
Let's consider some emotional states that, being in a chronic form, can cause certain diseases.
- Depression- lethargic mood, regardless of circumstances, for a long time. This emotion can cause quite serious problems with the throat, namely frequent sore throats and even loss of voice.
- Self-criticism- feeling guilty for everything you do. The result can be chronic headaches.
- Irritation- a feeling when literally everything annoys you. In this case, do not be surprised by frequent attacks of nausea, from which medications do not help.
- Resentment- feeling humiliated and insulted. Be prepared for gastrointestinal upset, chronic gastritis, ulcers, constipation and diarrhea.
- Anger- causes a surge of energy that rapidly grows and suddenly splashes out. An angry person is easily upset by failures and is unable to control his feelings. His behavior is incorrect and impulsive. As a result, the liver suffers.
- Joy- dissipates energy, it is dispersed and lost. When the main thing in a person’s life is to receive pleasure, he is unable to retain energy and is always looking for satisfaction and ever stronger stimulation. As a result, such a person is prone to uncontrollable anxiety, insomnia and despair. In this case, the heart is often affected.
- Sadness- stops the effect of energy. A person who is lost in the experience of sadness is disconnected from the world, his feelings dry up, and his motivation fades. Protecting himself from the joys of attachment and the pain of loss, he arranges his life in such a way as to avoid risk and the vagaries of passion, and becomes inaccessible to true intimacy. Such people have asthma, constipation and frigidity.
- Fear- reveals itself when survival is in question. From fear, energy drops, a person turns to stone and loses control over himself. In the life of a person overwhelmed by fear, the expectation of danger prevails, he becomes suspicious, withdraws from the world and prefers loneliness. He is critical, cynical, confident in the hostility of the world. Isolation can cut him off from life, making him cold, hard and unspiritual. In the body this manifests itself as arthritis, deafness and senile dementia.
How to work with emotions?
Emotions must be observed with detachment, watching them unfold with full awareness, understanding their nature, and then allowing them to dissipate. When emotions are suppressed, it can cause disturbances in the mind and ultimately in body functions.
Here are some tips that, if followed consistently, will help you improve your emotional situation.
A proven method, but one that requires constant effort from you, is to be kind to others. Try to think positively and treat others kindly, so that a positive emotional attitude will help improve your health.
Practice so-called spiritual gymnastics. IN ordinary life we perform it every day, scrolling through familiar thoughts in our heads, empathizing with everything around us - the sounds from the TV, tape recorder, radio, beautiful views nature, etc. However, you need to do this purposefully, understanding which impressions harm your emotional health, and which ones help maintain the desired emotional background.
Correct spiritual gymnastics causes corresponding physiological changes in the body. By remembering this or that event in our life, we evoke and consolidate in the body the physiology and neural connections corresponding to that event. If the recalled event was joyful and accompanied by pleasant sensations, this is beneficial. And if we turn to unpleasant memories and re-experience negative emotions, then the stress reaction is consolidated in the body on the physical and spiritual planes. Therefore, it is very important to learn to recognize and practice positive reactions.
Effective way“removing” stress from the body is proper (not excessive) physical activity, which requires fairly high energy costs, for example, swimming, exercise gym, running, etc. Yoga, meditation and breathing exercises are very helpful in returning to normal.
A way to get rid of mental anxiety as a result of stress is confidential conversation with a loved one(good friend, relative).
Create the right thought forms. First of all, go to the mirror and look at yourself. Pay attention to the corners of your lips. Where are they directed: down or up? If the lip pattern has a downward slant, it means that something is constantly bothering you and making you sad. You have a very developed sense of escalating the situation. As soon as the unpleasant event happened, you already painted a terrible picture for yourself. This is wrong and even dangerous to health. You simply must pull yourself together right here and now, looking in the mirror. Tell yourself it's over!
From now on - only positive emotions. Any situation is a test of Fate for endurance, health, and life extension. There are no hopeless situations - this must always be remembered. No wonder people say that time is our best healer, that the morning is wiser than the evening. Don’t make hasty decisions, let the situation go for a while, and the solution will come, and with it good mood, and positive emotions.
Many people look for the truth in smart books, in prayers or trainings, but the truth can be fully known only by looking inside yourself, knowing yourself, and accepting all your feelings: fears, pride, anger, envy...
By accepting, rather than suppressing, your feelings, you can discover the source of Love and Light within yourself. By learning to love ourselves, by wrapping every aspect of ourselves in a warm embrace, we can melt away all our inner fears and doubts, resentment, guilt, insecurity, self-pity, self-importance, the desire to constantly dwell in the past, and all that what was left unsaid and unfinished. These feelings destroy our peace of mind, or put blockages on the way to fulfilling our Dreams.
If we are in harmony with ourselves, we will be in the same state in relation to other people and the whole world.
To the point: What does it mean to accept yourself? The “Accepting Yourself” workshop will help you accept yourself unconditionally, and, therefore, truly forgive yourself...
Approval for small child as valuable as food or protection. Ultimately, if our parents, or other Adults, do not approve of us, we begin to feel ignored, if not abandoned. If a child is treated badly, he usually believes that it is only his fault, and that if he learns to be a good boy, then everything will be fine, so we learn to submit, to squeeze certain parts of ourselves in order to become “good”, in hope that then Grown-up people will begin to love us.
The trouble is that when we reach 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years old, many of us continue to behave as if we are still afraid of incurring the displeasure of Adults. We still try to be “pretty”, continue to seek the love and approval that we remember from childhood, believing that the earth will stop if we suddenly dare to be honest and speak the truth from our hearts.
First things first, most of us learn to suppress, deny, and distort our emotions. Our emotions are our Core Self's way of creating inner balance and harmony in response to everyday life. Sadness, for example, is a natural reaction to hurt, loss and grief. Anger is a healthy response to injustice or lack of respect. Fear is a response to threat and danger.
Emotions only turn into diseases when they are suppressed
Sadly, some people have been able to use New Age philosophy to suppress so-called “negative” emotions. They do not recognize sadness, resentment, rage, fear, loneliness, vulnerability, disappointment, but hide from them under the guise of apparent cheerfulness, essentially putting on “rose-colored glasses.” But since we have chosen the path of a person, we accept it completely: with all the depth and intensity of his emotions, in other words, completely and completely.
Read also: What is enlightenment? “Find the door of your heart and you will see that it is the door to the Kingdom of God. Therefore, you need to turn inside yourself, not outside.
Emotion is like an emotion, that is, energy-movement. It is supposed to pass through us, moving us towards what we should do: cry, scream, run, laugh or jump for joy. Our emotions help us stay balanced. Watch the little girl. Her eyes quickly fill with tears, she cries, and then, literally a few seconds later, she smiles and runs to continue playing.
The emotion passed through her, caused movement, the girl expressed the feeling, and everything passed. This is supposed to be the case. This is how emotion is supposed to work.
Unfortunately, from childhood, many of us learn that emotions must be hidden. It’s completely “not good,” for example, to be angry. Crying is stupid. To be afraid is cowardly. And if you are having fun, and the joy is overflowing, this is even inconvenient. "Be good!" - we constantly hear from childhood. So, we gradually begin to learn to “be good” and not be ourselves because we want love.
What are the dangers of constantly suppressing emotions?
When we become adults, many of us can already be called suppression specialists. own emotions. We tense up, we try not to fully breathe.
Read also: . Breathing is the basis of life, receiving energy from space and the key to the mysteries and secrets of our body.
All sorts of pills, exhausting work and other means that we quickly get used to “help” here. Instead of flowing calmly through the body and restoring balance, emotions turn into blocked energy, which creates a whole set of all kinds of problems. When we compress our emotions, distort, replace or hide them, the energy turns into depression, self-pity, physical illness or addiction to alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
For example, let's take anger. I used to be proud that I had absolutely no anger in me, and I don’t know what it is, but one day, a friend of mine, talking with my guardian angels, told me that one of them was teaching me to show anger and defend myself.
We sometimes misinterpret our life situations and events, thinking: we are being offended so that we learn humility or patience; as I once thought. I was offended so that I could learn to respect myself. Anger is a messenger of self-respect and self-affirmation. It is a constructive force for personal and global change. It is a wonderful, powerful energy, and if allowed to flow quietly, it motivates us to action. But if we resist our own anger, telling ourselves that being angry is “not good,” “unspiritual,” or that we have no right to be angry, then the emotion begins to slowly smolder. And this happens over the course of hours, weeks, or even years.
Suppressed anger (as well as any other emotion) must, sooner or later, come to the surface. The most prominent signs of repressed anger are: depression and/or anxiety, self-pity, blame and resentment, guilt, apathy, inertia, sarcasm, irritability, struggle and martyrdom, addiction to drugs, alcohol, work, sex, food, etc. .d.
In addition, these are accidents (as an expression of anger directed at oneself); cancer, arthritis and other diseases; violence and aggression. Violence is not an expression of pure anger. It is a symptom of rage and fear bottled up, which eventually explodes. And since the world is a mirror, by noticing all the above symptoms in other people, you can thus observe your own suppressed anger!
Here is one example of how you can release your anger:
- Write a very angry letter on paper addressed to the person you are angry with. Don't hold back, write what you think from the bottom of your heart, and then burn it, or flush it down the toilet. (Resist the temptation to send it to the recipient!).
- Beat a pillow or punching bag. At the same time, breathe fully and simply “pretend” that you are angry until the emotion begins to move and comes to life on its own.
- Go for a jog, while internally screaming (if there are other people around): “I hate you!” or “How dare you!” or whatever your Inner Child wants to shout out.
Don't try to forgive someone who has hurt you or understand why you created the trauma in your life until you have dealt with your anger, resentment, and other emotions. Until we have healed our inner child, it is unlikely that you will be able to move forward, rather, you will begin to attract further unpleasant events, and they will bring your emotions to the surface.
It is important, at any stage of your development and growth, to honestly admit to yourself all your feelings and once suppressed emotions.