Etiquette in Russia. Speech etiquette

It is impossible to name a linguistic culture in which etiquette requirements for speech activity would not be presented. The origins of speech etiquette lie in the most ancient period of the history of language. In an archaic society, speech etiquette (like etiquette in general) has a ritual background. The word is given special meaning, associated with magical and ritual ideas, the relationship between man and cosmic forces. Therefore, human speech activity, from the point of view of members of archaic society, can have a direct impact on people, animals and the world around them; The regulation of this activity is connected, first of all, with the desire to cause certain events (or, conversely, to avoid them). Relics of this state are preserved in different units speech etiquette; for example, many stable formulas represent ritual wishes that were once perceived as effective: Hello (also Be healthy); Thank you (from God bless you). Similarly, many prohibitions on the use of words and constructions that are considered abusive in modern language go back to archaic prohibitions - taboos.

The most ancient ideas about the effectiveness of the word are superimposed by later layers associated with various stages in the evolution of society and its structure, with religious beliefs, etc. It should be especially noted that complex system speech etiquette in hierarchical societies, where the rules verbal communication fit into the semiotics of social hierarchy. An example is the court of an absolute monarch (medieval East, Europe at the turn of the Modern Age). In such societies, etiquette norms became the subject of training and codification and played a dual role: they allowed the speaker to express respect for the interlocutor and at the same time emphasize the sophistication of his own upbringing. The role of etiquette manuals in the formation of a new, Europeanized elite was well known.

In the speech etiquette of almost all nations it is possible to distinguish common features; Thus, almost all nations have stable formulas for greeting and farewell, forms of respectful address to elders, etc. However, these features are implemented in each culture in its own way. As a rule, the most extensive system of requirements exists in traditional cultures. At the same time, with a certain degree of convention, we can say that the understanding of speech etiquette by its speakers goes through several stages. A closed traditional culture is characterized by the absolutization of etiquette requirements for behavior in general and for speech behavior in particular. A person with a different speech etiquette is perceived here as a poorly educated or immoral person, or as an insulter. In societies that are more open to external contacts, there is usually a more developed understanding of the differences in speech etiquette among different peoples, and the skills of imitating someone else’s speech behavior can even be a source of pride for a member of the society.

In modern, especially urban culture, the culture of industrial and post-industrial society, the place of speech etiquette is radically rethought. On the one hand, the traditional foundations of this phenomenon are being eroded: mythological and religious beliefs, ideas about an unshakable social hierarchy, etc. Speech etiquette is now considered in a purely pragmatic aspect, as a means of achieving a communicative goal: to attract the attention of the interlocutor, to demonstrate respect to him, to arouse sympathy, to create a comfortable climate for communication. The relics of hierarchical representations are also subject to these tasks; compare, for example, the history of the address Mr. and the corresponding addresses in other languages: an element of speech etiquette, which once arose as a sign of the social status of the addressee, subsequently becomes a national form of polite address.

On the other hand, speech etiquette remains an important part national language and culture. It is impossible to talk about a high level of proficiency in a foreign language if this proficiency does not include knowledge of the rules of speech communication and the ability to apply these rules in practice. It is especially important to have an idea of the differences in national speech etiquettes. For example, each language has its own system of address, which has been formed over centuries. When translated literally, the meaning of these addresses is sometimes distorted; Thus, the English Dear is used in official addresses, while the corresponding Russian Dear is used, as a rule, in less formal situations. Or another example - in many Western cultures, when asked How are you? should answer: Okay. The answer Bad or Not very is considered indecent: the interlocutor should not impose his problems. In Russia, it is customary to answer the same question neutrally, rather with a negative connotation: Nothing; Little by little. Differences in speech etiquette and in general in systems of rules of speech behavior fall under the purview of a special discipline - linguistic and regional studies.

Each language has its own history, its “ups and downs”. At particularly critical moments of government transformation, there is always a danger of losing attention to this national asset, being distracted by the seemingly more important needs and problems of society. In our time of great social and spiritual changes, this danger has increased many times over.

Over the past two decades, the Russian language has suffered many not-so-good influences and invasions. Dozens of scientific and cultural figures sounded the alarm. Back in the early 90s, realizing that there was an ugly pollution of the Russian language, writers of the St. Petersburg organization of the Union of Writers of Russia raised the issue of adopting a Law on the Protection of the Russian Language at the state level. And only at the beginning of 1998 this Law was adopted, which talks about the mandatory introduction of a course in the Russian language and speech culture in all universities in the country and the adoption special measures in increasing the literacy level of the population.

Speech etiquette has national specifics. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. In Russian society, such qualities as tact, courtesy, tolerance, goodwill, and restraint are of particular value.

Tactfulness is an ethical norm that requires the speaker to understand the interlocutor, avoid inappropriate questions, and discuss topics that may be unpleasant for him.

Consideration lies in the ability to anticipate possible questions and wishes of the interlocutor, the willingness to inform him in detail on all topics relevant to the conversation.

Tolerance means being calm about possible differences of opinion and avoiding harsh criticism of the views of your interlocutor. You should respect the opinions of other people and try to understand why they have this or that point of view. Closely related to such a character quality as tolerance is self-control - the ability to calmly respond to unexpected or tactless questions and statements from an interlocutor.

Goodwill is necessary both in relation to the interlocutor and in the entire structure of the conversation: in its content and form, in intonation and choice of words.

Appeal is the most widespread and most striking etiquette sign.

There are few personal pronouns in the Russian language, but their weight in speech etiquette is quite large. The choice between You and You is especially important. You instead of You in addressing one appeared among Russians relatively recently (in the 18th century). This attitude was established primarily among educated nobles. Before this, You in itself had no etiquette content. But in comparison with you, it acquired the meaning of proximity, and in the communication of people who are not close, it began to express social inequality, communication from top to bottom. You told the commoners, the servants. Gradually capturing more and more new layers of townspeople, the use of You and You respectively received various shades in accordance with the attitude typical for each social group.

The presence in the Russian language of forms of address “you” and “you” gives us the opportunity to effective remedy be polite. Personal pronouns are directly related to speech etiquette. They are associated with self-names and names of the interlocutor, with the feeling of what is “decent” and “indecent” in such naming. For example, when a person corrects his interlocutor: “Tell me “you”, “Don’t poke, please,” he expresses dissatisfaction with the “disrespectful” pronoun directed towards him. So, “you” is not always empty, and “you” is not always heartfelt? Usually “you” is used when addressing a loved one, in an informal setting and when the address is rudely familiar; “you” - in polite address, in an official setting, in addressing someone unfamiliar or unfamiliar. Although there are many nuances here.

It is not customary for Russians to call a third person present during a conversation with the pronoun he (she). Russian speech etiquette provides for calling a third person present during a conversation by name (and patronymic), if you have to speak in front of him and for him. Apparently, Russians clearly feel that I and You, We and You are, as it were, inclusive pronouns, that is, those that distinguish the interlocutors from everyone else, and He, She, They are exclusive pronouns, indicating not the one with whom This time they communicate, but for something third. Meanwhile, the etiquette of many countries does not prohibit such a speech act - “excluding” someone present.

Among the many introductory words of the Russian language, there are those that, like etiquette means of confirmation or negation, can be considered a special technique of etiquette modulation of speech. For example, introductory words see, know, understand, believe, imagine.

It is clear that the introductory words whose behavior we observe, although they mainly serve to express the connection with the interlocutor, i.e. have the most general etiquette meanings, but still retain traces of the meaning of the corresponding verbs. Therefore, with the same etiquette content, you see, you know, you understand, imagine, and similar introductory words are completely semantically still not equal. Each of them carries its own additional meaning.

If we compare the etiquette capabilities of Russian speech with the etiquette capabilities of other languages, it turns out that etiquette means are obligatory and optional, or optional. This is reminiscent of how it is transmitted different languages meaning of certainty/uncertainty. A speaker in Russian, reporting that a boy is coming, can emphasize that this is a very specific boy, the same one who has already been discussed, can show that this is some kind of boy about whom nothing is known, but may not express in this sentence meaning certainty/uncertainty: A boy is coming. Of course, the entire setting of speech, as well as preceding and subsequent phrases, usually make it clear whether we are talking about a definite or indefinite boy, but in Russian the means of expressing these meanings are not mandatory: Russian grammar does not require that a special indicator of definiteness must be attached to a noun or uncertainty of the subject. But English, French, and German grammar, as you know, requires this when translating a sentence. The boy goes to French, German, English, we are obliged to choose a certain one or not definite article, use mandatory means of conveying the meaning of certainty/uncertainty.

In the same way, in some languages there are only non-obligatory etiquette means, while in other languages there are also obligatory ones. This is, say, the Japanese language. Almost all verbs of the Japanese language can have a form that is emphatically polite towards the addressee of the speech and a form that is familiar.

Whatever we talk about in Japanese (even if not about the addressee!), we have to choose either a polite or familiar form of the verb, i.e., whether we want it or not, we have to show our attitude towards the addressee. But in the Russian language there are no grammatical regulations regarding when and in what particular way etiquette content must be expressed. This means that the etiquette means of the Russian language are optional.

However, as we have already seen, this not only does not reduce the etiquette possibilities, but makes them more subtle and flexible!

There are incredibly many ways to convey etiquette meanings in speech. Every time we choose what to say and how to say it, we necessarily take into account (although we don’t always notice it ourselves) with whom and in what setting we are speaking. Therefore, speeches that have nothing to do with etiquette, perhaps, do not exist at all. If a language has developed several styles (book speech, colloquial, scientific style, business, etc.) and there is a difference in the speech of individual community groups(the speech of educated and uneducated people, literary and dialectal, the speech of young and middle-aged people, etc.), then the very choice of the type of speech turns out to be an etiquette sign, expresses the attitude towards the listener or the one we are mentioning.

Surprisingly diverse etiquette signs in the speech of different peoples. For example, the types of interjections that accompany the address. In some languages they differ depending on who is addressing whom. Thus, they indicate the composition of those communicating, and, therefore, carry important etiquette information.

In many languages, in order to convey etiquette content, they use deliberate deviations of grammatical number, grammatical gender, replacement of one face form with another, special “polite” and “super polite” words, and a unique sentence structure. It is difficult to list the etiquette means of oral speech alone, but also the etiquette techniques that are used in writing! Just remember how to capitalize the polite forms You, You, You, Yours, Yours, etc.

In speech etiquette, there are situations when it is very great importance has sign language. Each nation has its own specific gesture:

Russians, British, Americans shake hands as a greeting gesture.

In the old days, when a Chinese man met a friend, he shook his own hand.

Laplanders rub noses together.

A young American greets his friend by clapping him on the back.

Latin Americans hug.

The French kiss each other on the cheek.

Without knowing the national characteristics of gestures, you can find yourself in an awkward position. For example, in Bulgaria, the gestural signs for “yes” and “no” are the opposite of the common European form, and representatives of the indigenous population may misinterpret the answer to a question asked.

What should a Japanese think if a European, entering into a business conversation, does not shake his hand? He may believe that the interlocutor respects his national customs - in Japan it is not customary to shake hands. But, on the other hand, he may consider this disrespect for him personally - the Japanese knows that in the society to which the partner belongs, the gesture of a handshake is accepted.

Even similar gestures can be used differently in different national cultures. For example, in Hungary, a man always raises his hat when greeting, but in our country this is not at all necessary and is more typical for people of the older generation.

The handshake gesture when greeting in Bulgaria is used much more often than is customary here. There, when greeting a group of interlocutors, it is advisable to shake everyone’s hand. This is not necessary for us.

Thus, a gesture can say a lot. In particular, characterize the person making the gesture in terms of national characteristics. For example, in Czechoslovakia, when listing something, the fingers are not bent into a fist, starting with the little finger, as is customary in our country, but, on the contrary, a clenched fist is “opened”, starting from the thumb, finger by finger. In the Russian environment, such a gesture immediately identifies a foreigner.

In some situations of speech etiquette there are more gestures, in others less. In some situations, complete replacement of cues is acceptable, in others it is not, and of course, each gesture has its own “style,” and each time a person chooses the most appropriate one in a given situation.

There are many examples of the national specificity of speech and non-speech behavior of different peoples. In China, even when talking about themselves, the Chinese manage to talk to you more about you than about themselves, as if retreating into the shadows, putting out a very delicate expression. But at the same time, the Chinese very carefully looks at how delicate you are, still able to insist on your interest in him.

In Japan, in conversations, people in every possible way avoid the words “no,” “I can’t,” “I don’t know,” as if these were some kind of curse words, something that cannot be expressed directly, but only allegorically, in roundabout ways. Even when refusing a second cup of tea, the guest, instead of “no, thank you,” uses an expression that literally means “I’m already fine.”

If a Tokyo acquaintance says: “Before responding to your proposal, I must consult with my wife,” then one should not think that he is a champion of women's equality. This is just one way to avoid saying the word “no.”

In the speech etiquette of different nations there are many completely different, unique expressions, but even similar ones (like please and please) are still not completely identical. From an American point of view, our please has forty thousand different shades of meaning and is as similar to the English please as, for example, the phrase “I love you, dear” is to the phrase “Let's get married.”

In essence, each language is a unique national system of signs. In speech etiquette, the specific habits and customs of the people are superimposed on the national specifics of the language. Therefore, a kind of phraseology develops in the forms of speech etiquette.

The peculiarities of Russian etiquette can be seen in the composition of sentences and their writing.

· synonyms are words with the same or very similar meaning (company - organization, agreement - contract, request - application, grateful - grateful,...);
· pleonasms - called partial coincidence of the meanings of words that form a phrase;
· tautology - semantic repetitions that arise in cases where words of the same root are adjacent in a sentence;
· Homonyms are words that sound the same but differ in meaning.

The concept of the stylistic coloring of a word is usually associated with the assignment of the word to a particular sphere of use and with the emotional and expressive qualities of the word, i.e. with his ability not only to name a phenomenon, but also to express an attitude towards the subject of thought.

The area of use varies:

1. Interstyle vocabulary, i.e. those words that are used by everyone and in any conditions (quality, receive, offer...).
2. Book and written vocabulary, i.e. words that are primarily used in book and written styles and are associated with those areas of language use for which written form expressions is the main one. In its composition one can distinguish “book” words (payment, agreement, contract...), terms (catalog - a magazine indicating the goods produced by the enterprise), clericalism, poetism.
3. Vocabulary of oral speech, i.e. words inherent in everyday speech, everyday business language, etc. The vocabulary of oral speech includes colloquial words, colloquial words, professionalisms, jargon, dialectisms.

Word abbreviations (abbreviations) are a new productive way of word production, which is actively used in business correspondence.

Phraseology of a language is a set of stable, holistic in composition and meaning combinations of words and expressions. In business correspondence, the role of phraseological units is played by standard syntactic constructions, which are divided into:

Request letter: “We would be grateful if you would send us…” etiquette requirement speech activity

Response to request: “Thank you for your request from...”

Letter of request: “We ask you to…”

Reminder letter: “We inform you that...”

Covering letter: “According to your request, we are sending you...”

Notification letter: “In response to your letter from ... we inform you...”

Invitation letter: “Allow me to invite you to…”

Letter of gratitude: “We have received your invitation to….., for which we are grateful.”

The Russian language has a relatively free order of words in a sentence. This means that the members of the sentence do not have permanent place(as in some other languages) and their mutual arrangement may change depending on the type of sentence or at the will of the speaker. The rearrangement of words in order to emphasize the semantic significance of a word is called inversion.

Inversion is an important stylistic device. Its importance increases in written speech, since the writer is deprived of the opportunity to highlight the desired word with intonation. A thoughtful change in the order of words allows the writer to draw the reader’s attention to a particular word and thereby highlight important points content of the statement.

A sentence may contain phrases that are not members of it, but perform a certain semantic function. This includes introductory words (to our great regret, in addition, in this regard).

In business correspondence, complex sentences are more common than simple ones. Difficult sentence allows you to connect into a single whole big number words and thereby express a more complex thought - emphasize important semantic shades, give arguments, give a detailed justification of the main provisions, etc. In addition, the use of conjunctions and allied words makes it possible to accurately determine the semantic relationships that exist between in separate parts extended statement.

IN business letters in addition to introductory words, participles and participial phrases, which also introduce semantic nuances.

In general, the use of such constructions in business speech is not a mistake. But in some cases the proposal should be simplified.

Etiquette communication plays a big role in the life of each of us, but, of course, human communication does not at all come down to rituals alone.

Etiquette situations make up only some part of communication.

All human activity, including communication, reflects the social conditions in which it takes place. And our speech, undoubtedly, is structured differently depending on who is communicating, for what purpose, in what way, and what kind of relationship there is between those communicating. We are so accustomed to changing the type of speech depending on the conditions of communication that we most often do it unconsciously, automatically. The perception of information about human relationships conveyed by the peculiarities of speech also occurs automatically. But as soon as we make a mistake in choosing the type of speech, the automaticity of perception is disrupted and we immediately notice something that previously eluded our attention. Speech fluctuates in rhythm with human relationships - this is etiquette modulation of speech. Special etiquette communication occurs, as we already know, only from time to time, but modifications (modulation) of speech and non-speech behavior under the influence of human relationships always occur. This means that this is one of the most important means of expressing etiquette content - a means that is always at our disposal

It's finished! Your boss has invited you to a dinner party. Finally you have the opportunity to see a lot there significant people, and perhaps find influential acquaintances. It would seem that you have nothing to worry about - you have long learned in which hand to hold a fork and spoon, how to behave at the table, and in general, you are prepared according to all the rules of etiquette. However, there is one nuance - your speech and ability to lead small talk may not leave a good impression of you. The thing is that in the Russian language there is also etiquette, only verbal.

Russian speech etiquette is the rules and norms of communication formed under the influence of national culture. Their main principle is politeness and respect for the interlocutor. It is also worth remembering where and how to apply speech etiquette. IN different countries your own rules of polite communication, but if you are not abroad, you must follow the rules of address in Russian speech etiquette.

The main thing is that your speech matches the situation in which communication takes place. Two directions can be decisive when choosing a form of speech. Firstly, the setting - formal or informal. Secondly, it matters to which person your speech is addressed. Here it is worth taking into account his gender, age, the degree of your acquaintance with the interlocutor, his personal merits and social status. It is also worth remembering who to greet first if at a particular meeting you will meet many people with whom you already know. So, who do they greet first:

the man greets the woman first;
if a woman is significantly younger than a man in age, then she is obliged to greet him first;
the same applies to all other cases. If an older and younger person meet, the younger one always greets the older one first;
the junior in position also greets the senior in position;
a member of a delegation is always the first to greet its leader;

Formulas of Russian speech etiquette

The peculiarities of Russian speech etiquette lie in certain words, phrases and fixed expressions. They are used in three stages of conversation: at the beginning of the conversation, or introduction, the main part of the conversation and the final part of the conversation. For competent interaction of all three stages, as well as for using the norms and rules of communication, the formulas of Russian speech etiquette are used. Basic formulas, such as a polite greeting or gratitude, are learned from childhood. With age, speech etiquette acquires more and more subtleties. Let's consider speech formulas used in different situations:

1. Starting a conversation, greeting:

health wishes: hello;
use of meeting time: good afternoon, good evening;
emotional greeting: very glad;
respectful greeting - my respects.

2. The main part of the conversation. The formulas for this part of the conversation are used depending on the event during which communication occurs. This could be a festive meeting, or a sad event associated with the loss of loved ones or other unfortunate events. This also includes conversation in a normal everyday setting.

Forms of communication in a festive setting have two types - an invitation to the event itself and congratulations if you have already come to the holiday.

Invitation: come, we will be glad, let me invite you, I invite you, may I invite you.
Congratulations: I congratulate you with all my heart, please accept our congratulations, allow me to congratulate you, we congratulate you on behalf of the team.
Sad events. At events that have a tinge of grief and sadness, it is necessary to use forms expressing sympathy and condolences: accept my condolences, I offer you my sincere condolences, I mourn with you, I offer you my heartfelt condolences, allow me to express my deepest condolences, I sincerely sympathize with you, hang in there.
Everyday work environment. Communication with superiors and colleagues includes a lot of features of speech etiquette. These could be requests, compliments, advice and gratitude. Also, in a work environment, it is impossible to do without refusing and agreeing to the interlocutor’s requests:

advice: I would advise you, let me offer you, I would like to offer you, let me give you advice;
request: if it doesn’t bother you, I earnestly ask you, don’t consider it difficult, may I ask you;
gratitude: thank you very much, I express my gratitude to you, let me thank you, I am very grateful to you;
compliment: you are an excellent conversationalist, you look great, you are an excellent organizer;
agreement: ready to listen to you, please, I don’t mind, do as you think is right;
refusal: I have to refuse you, I am unable to help you, I cannot fulfill your request.

3. Ending the conversation. Depending on how the conversation proceeded, saying goodbye to your interlocutor may have different shapes.

Eastern wisdom says: “Affability is the golden key that opens the iron locks of people’s hearts,” and, conversely, ignorance of the rules of good manners, inability to behave in society, at work, lack of skills and habits of decent manners put a person in a dead end, in which inferiority complexes are intensively formed.

Before proceeding to the exchange of meaningful information, it is necessary to enter into verbal contact, and this is done by certain rules. We hardly notice them, because for many they are familiar. It is the violation of unwritten rules that becomes noticeable: the seller addressed the buyer on a first-name basis, the manager did not say hello during the meeting, the official was rude to an elderly visitor, someone did not apologize for the offense.

Speech culture is not limited only to the concepts of correctness and knowledge of language norms; rules of speech behavior are regulated and speech etiquette– a system of stable expressions that has developed in language and speech, used in situations of establishing and maintaining contact. Typical communication situations – appeal, introduction, greeting, farewell, apology, gratitude, invitation, condolences and etc.

They are served by a certain group of etiquette formulas that create a favorable climate of communication. The execution of the sign system is perceived by the addressee as a social “stroking.” Psychologists and teachers know how important it is to approve, encourage, and pat a child, and probably an adult, on the head in time. Language also responded to this need and created a system of verbal “strokes” - speech etiquette: Hello– be healthy; Thank you – Thank you; Thank you– saved And God for your good deed; Sorry– I admit my guilt and ask that my sin be removed, etc.

Being polite and trying not to offend communication partners with words is what a person learns through etiquette formulas. And in this regard, speech etiquette has great potential in terms of cultivating a culture of communication as a whole and determines not only the appearance of speech, but also the way of thinking, the norm in relationships.

Let us dwell on some situations of establishing and maintaining contact with an interlocutor that we often encounter.

Any communication, as a rule, begins with an appeal. APPEAL- a word or group of words with the help of which we perform an important speech action: we name, call, attract the attention of the person to whom we are speaking. Each specific type of relationship has its own appeal.

Many nations have a universal appeal "Mrs. – sir", which are a manifestation of politeness, regardless of a person’s social, official, or property status and can be addressed to a man or a woman. These are widely known "Mister – Mrs., Monsieur - Madame, Herr - Frau, Pan - Pani", etc. In the modern Russian language there is no such universal form of address. In pre-revolutionary Russia, service relations were strictly ranked in accordance with the “Table of Ranks”: Excellency, Excellency, Excellency, Nobility and so on. Appeals were used to express personal and social relationships “Dear Sir” - “Dear Madam”, “Mr – Madam”, “Sir – Madam”.

After the revolution, formulas served as addresses “comrade”, “citizen - citizen”" Appeal "comrade" used regardless of gender, could be combined with last name, first name and patronymic, profession, title: Comrade Smirnov; Comrade Rector, come in, comrades, etc.

Currently, attempts to simply replace the treatment "comrade" on "Mr.” often cause a comical effect: “Gentlemen, do not throw cigarette butts past the trash can!”; “Gentlemen, do not leave dirty dishes on the tables!”

The choice of address in official relations is quite limited. Speech etiquette provides for two forms of formal respectful treatment. The first is purely formal. "Mr. - Madam" plus last name or position held. The second is the traditional Russian address by name and patronymic. Some linguists express confidence that someday we will return to pre-existing address "sir - madam."

The following addresses to strangers are considered indecent and impolite: : man, woman, granny, etc. It is better to address a stranger using the formulas: “ Sorry, you couldn't would ..."; “Would you be so kind as to pass it on, please...”, etc. Having met a person, you should remember his name, and in the future address him by his first name and patronymic, trying not to make mistakes and not call Boris Matveyevich Matvey Borisovich. Lack of address excludes the interlocutor from the communication process. The response to communication must be adequate : Instead of “Huh? What?" should be said: “Yes, Tatyana Alekseevna...Excuse me, Nikolai Petrovich...What did you say, Irina Ivanovna?”

The most important rule of speech behavior is the use of “You-You” forms of address. Addressing “you” emphasizes a respectful attitude. Addressing “you” is possible when communicating with people you know well, in an informal setting, in familiar communication.

Official and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with GREETINGS. The forms and rituals of greeting are influenced by national and cultural traditions, sphere of life, communication environment. In an official setting, the greeting is most often expressed as a neutral-benevolent wish for health, well-being - "Hello". Such formulas are widely used "Good morning"(till 12 o'clock), "Good afternoon"(after 12 o'clock), and after 18 o'clock - "Good evening".

Sometimes words of greeting may be followed by polite questions about the business, health, or family of the interlocutor. This is not a signal for a lengthy conversation; they should be perceived as signs of attention and courtesy, so answers should be given short, like “thank you”, “everything is fine”, “I can’t complain”, etc.

In general civil etiquette, the man greets the woman first; junior - senior; subordinate - leader. However, there is also a generally accepted position: The first one to say hello is the one who is more polite and well-mannered.

Ends communication, started greeting, procedure goodbyes. When people break up, they usually say to each other " Goodbye". You can wish « good evening " or " good night", "bon voyage" and so on. Word "Farewell" is used in cases where there is no hope or plans for the next meeting or they want to pointedly emphasize that the relationship ends here.

Who says goodbye first? Leaving. Otherwise, the situation risks becoming impolite, as if the person leaving is being pushed towards the door, “showed out.”

There are generally accepted etiquette formulas used when... dating: « let me (let me) meet you..."; « allow me to introduce you to Pyotr Ivanovich..."; “let me introduce you to Lyudmila Ivanovna”; “I would like to introduce you to Andrei Petrovich” and etc. The following phrases may follow in response: “very nice”, “glad to meet you”, “I’ve heard a lot about you”, etc.. At the same time, you should bow politely, smile, and show sincere interest in the person.

There is a special procedure introductions when meeting. The younger one is introduced to the older one; subordinate - to the leader; man - woman, turning to her for permission to meet. The exception is situations when a man has a high social status. During official acquaintance, the person’s first name, patronymic, last name and position are mentioned.

There are also special formulas apologies, which are used in various situations: “Please excuse me for being late”; "My apologies…"; “Please excuse me for…”; “I regret that I misled you...”; “Sorry, I caused you so much trouble...” and others. It is not recommended to use expressions "I'm sorry", “Sorry”, “I’m wildly sorry...”.

Special formulas of speech etiquette also exist for expressing a mournful situation, which may be associated with death, murder and other events that bring misfortune and grief. In this case it is expressed condolences. It should not be “dry”, official. Formulas of condolences, as a rule, are stylistically elevated and emotionally charged: “To our regret, we are forced to inform you...”; “Please accept my most sincere condolences regarding...”; “We express our deep regrets over the grief that has befallen you and are ready to take an active part in helping necessary assistance…" and etc.

Stable etiquette formulas that serve some typical situations of verbal communication are, at first glance, simple. Speech etiquette- This extremely useful and handy tool communication. The main condition for communication - effective, correct, comfortable - is respect between the interlocutors for each other.

Questions for consolidation

1.Can speech that is deliberately deceitful, but skillful, be called cultural?

2.By what criteria do you evaluate speech from the point of view of its culture?

3. What violations of speech etiquette have you noticed most often?

4. What is meant by speech etiquette?

5. Why do you think modern society low speech culture?

Training exercises

Task No. 1. (12 points) K

Which of the following speech formulas for refusal do you consider to be the most polite and will not offend the interlocutor? Arrange the listed formulas in descending order of categoricality.

I can't…

No I can not…

There's no way I can…

Unfortunately I can not…

Unfortunately, I can't...

I am unable to do this...

In no case…

I would love to, but I can’t...

I would like... but I can't...

I can’t do this...

It's out of the question…

Don't even mention it...

No, it won't work...

Task No. 2. (16 points)

Match the sentences with synonymous options using different types two-part and one-part sentences. When composing synonymous variants, try to preserve the original meaning.

Example: I read the book with pleasure. - What a book! It cannot be read without pleasure. – You certainly enjoy reading the book! – I’m reading today: the book is very interesting, etc.

1. The weather seems to be starting to deteriorate. 2. I would like to spend the day with friends. 3. Finishing work on this composition, the sculptor suddenly thought whether he should have worked so hard. 4. A lyrical hero cannot help but resemble a poet.

Task No. 3. (10 points)

Analyze the questions that often arise in specific communication situations. Answer them based on your own understanding of ethical standards.

1. What to do if the speaker, a person older than you, forgot what he was talking about and got lost in thought? Silence? Remind me what he was talking about? Miss?

Wherever you and I are - on the street, at home, in the office, on a trip, every day and repeatedly we say hello and goodbye, thank and apologize, congratulate and condole, ask and offer, invite and refuse, and, of course, “say friend compliments to a friend! The ability to communicate respectfully and tactfully, that is, to use speech etiquette, allows us to feel comfortable when communicating with acquaintances and strangers, with friends, with lovers, with a boss, etc. Otherwise, we risk being branded as ignorant and rude, unable to properly enter into contact, support it, and also get out of it competently.

Looking back into history, the word “etiquette,” a French word, was first used at the court of Louis XIV, when puzzled guests were given cards (labels) with instructions on how they should behave at the court of the revered king. Now the generally accepted rules of communication are firmly entrenched and every more or less educated person must absolutely follow them.

What is the role of speech etiquette?

Firstly, speech etiquette helps to avoid conflict situations. By saying “Sorry” or “I beg your pardon” to the interlocutor, we relieve the tension that has arisen in communication, if it suddenly occurs.

Secondly, speech etiquette can show the level of intimacy between interlocutors. For example, when greeting people whom we have great respect for, we say

“Hello!”, “My respects!”, “I’m glad to welcome you!” Meanwhile, good friends and our loved ones we address the words “Hello! Who do I see!

Thirdly, it is able to establish social boundaries between people, dividing into official and unofficial speech etiquette; the phrases “Let me greet you!”, “Good afternoon!”, “Hello!”, and the unofficial “Hello!” or “Great!”

When communicating with strangers, speech etiquette generally becomes an indispensable assistant. How do you imagine approaching a stranger with any request without using the words “Sorry”, “Could you please”? And further farewell to him without “Thank you”, “Thank you”? That is, speech etiquette also determines the norm of purely human relations of interlocutors to each other, when you thank someone for the help provided - gratitude must be sincere, coming from the heart. It is customary to do the same in a situation where one of the participants in communication has had a misfortune; the expression of grief and sympathy should be genuine.

At the same time, they may not have sincere interest in each other. By greeting someone, we only show that we noticed the person, recognized him and distinguished him from all other people. N.I. Formanovskaya’s definition of speech etiquette as merely mutual “social stroking” of interlocutors is interesting.

With the help of speech etiquette, you also demonstrate the level of your upbringing and the degree of politeness that you managed to achieve in the process of this upbringing. Politeness is a manifestation of respect between communication partners for each other. It is also associated with correctness, courtesy, deference, and tact. However, it should be remembered that emphasized politeness can create an insurmountable distance between the interlocutors or even seriously hurt and offend a person close to you.

In speech etiquette, response is also important. Intonations and gestures used towards individuals are not permissible towards others. For example, it’s hard to imagine your son or daughter’s teacher giving you a familiar pat on the shoulder when they meet you, or the same teacher’s bewilderment if you embrace him or her when you say goodbye.

And yet, the main function of speech etiquette is the correct entry into contact, its competent maintenance and the ability to exit it correctly. Having mastered the rules of speech etiquette, you will adapt to any social group, which is a necessary condition for a successful career.

Speech etiquette has its own national characteristics, and even if we master the language perfectly, without mastering the rules of speech etiquette adopted in a given language community, our communication with representatives of a particular culture is doomed to failure. In Western countries, for example, in response to a greeting and the question “How are you?” It is customary to answer “Good!”, but in Russia the answer is rather neutral and less emotionally charged, we say “Normal”, “Nothing”, “Little by little”. The Japanese never finish sentences first in a conversation, so as not to appear tactless, preferring that the interlocutor does it.

Speech etiquette undergoes changes over time. Some expressions and phrases of speech etiquette, adopted in the time of Pushkin, have irrevocably sunk into oblivion. For example, the expressions “I humbly thank”, “I bow most deeply”, “I thank you”, “Your humble servant”. Agree, in our time they sound strange and ridiculous, and Alexander Sergeevich really liked to sign his letters with the last phrase from this list.

It's interesting that different social groups speech behavior is somewhat different: more educated people prefer to use the pronoun “you” in speech rather than “you” in relation to the interlocutor. And women communicate more politely than men, since they are not inclined to use abusive language in conversation.

Well, in the end, we will present some generally accepted formulas of speech etiquette in our society.

If you need to get to know a complete stranger, it is customary to say, “Let me get to know each other,” “Let’s get to know each other.”

Greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting are “Glad to see you!”, “Welcome!”, “Glad to welcome!”.

Words of condolences: “I sincerely sympathize with you,” “I offer my deepest condolences,” “I share your grief.”

Congratulations with the words “Allow me to congratulate”, “Please accept my sincere congratulations”, “I heartily congratulate you”.

And finally, parting with the hope of meeting is expressed in words

Today, correct and cultural speech no longer occupies its former dominant place in society. Most people communicate without due respect and respect for each other, thereby creating misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels and swearing.

If you adhere to certain norms of speech etiquette, then everyday communication will bring pleasure and joy, turning it into strong friendships, business contacts, and families.

Peculiarities

First of all, you need to find out what etiquette is. Summarizing most definitions, we can conclude that etiquette is a set of generally accepted rules regarding norms of behavior, appearance, as well as communication between people. In turn, speech etiquette is certain linguistic norms of communication established in society.

This concept appeared in France during the reign of Louis XIV. Court ladies and gentlemen were given special “labels” - cards on which recommendations were written on how to behave at the table at a banquet, when there was a ball, a gala reception of foreign guests, etc. In this “forced” way, the foundations of behavior were laid, which Over time they became part of the common people.

From time immemorial and to this day, the culture of each ethnic group has had and still has its own special norms of communication and behavior in society. These rules help to tactfully enter into verbal contact with a person without hurting his personal feelings and emotions.

Features of speech etiquette include a number of linguistic and social properties:

The inevitability of fulfilling etiquette forms. This means that if a person wants to be a full-fledged part of society (a group of people), then he must comply with generally accepted norms of behavior. Otherwise, society may reject him - people will not want to communicate with him or maintain close contact.
Speech etiquette is public politeness. It is always flattering to communicate with a well-mannered person, and it is especially pleasant to reciprocate with a “kind” word. There are often cases when people are unpleasant to each other, but end up in the same team. This is where speech etiquette comes in handy, because all people want comfortable communication without swear words and harsh expressions.
The need to comply with speech formulas. The speech action of a cultured person cannot do without a sequence of stages. The beginning of a conversation always begins with a greeting, followed by the main part - the conversation. The dialogue ends with farewell and nothing else.
Smoothing out conflicts and conflict situations. Saying “sorry” or “excuse me” at the right time will help avoid unnecessary conflicts.
The ability to show the level of relations between interlocutors. For people in a close circle, as a rule, warmer words of greeting and communication in general are used (“Hello,” “I’m so glad to see you,” etc.). Those who don’t know each other simply adhere to the “official” (“Hello”, “Good afternoon”).

The manner of communicating with people is always a direct indicator of a person’s level of education. To become a worthy member of society, you need to develop communication skills, without which it will be very difficult in the modern world.

Formation of a culture of communication

From the moment of birth, the child begins to receive the necessary knowledge to develop skills and abilities. Conversational skill is the basis of conscious communication, without which it is difficult to exist. Nowadays it is given a lot of attention not only in the family, but also in educational institutions (school, university). Communication culture is understood as a model of speech behavior that must be relied upon when speaking with another individual. Its full formation depends on many factors: the environment in which a person grew up, the level of education of his parents, the quality of the education received, personal aspirations.

Forming a culture of communication skills is a long and complex process. It is based on a number of goals and objectives, having achieved which, you can fully master the skill of tactful and polite communication with people in secular society and at home. They are aimed (goals and objectives) at developing the following qualities:

sociability as an individual personality trait;
the formation of communicative relationships in society;
lack of isolation from society;
social activity;
improving academic performance;
development of an individual’s rapid adaptation to a variety of activities (play, study, etc.).

The relationship between culture and speech

Every person sees and feels the invisible connection between the culture of speech and etiquette. It seems that these concepts are absolutely close and equal to each other, but this is not entirely true. To begin with, it is necessary to define what culture is in a broad sense.

Culture means that a person has certain communicative qualities and knowledge, good reading and, as a result, a sufficient vocabulary, awareness of a number of issues, the presence of upbringing, as well as the ability to behave in society and alone with oneself.

In turn, the culture of conversation or communication is the individual’s way of speaking, his ability to conduct a conversation, and express his thoughts in a structured manner. This concept is very difficult to understand, so there is still a lot of debate about the accuracy of this definition.

In Russia and abroad, this branch of linguistics as a science is engaged in the development of rules of communication and their systematization. Speech culture also means the study and application of the rules and norms of written and oral speech, punctuation, accentology, ethics and other areas of linguistics.

From a scientific point of view, speech is defined as “correct” or “incorrect”. This implies the correct use of words in various linguistic situations. Examples:

“Go home already! "(correctly said - go);
“Put bread on the table? "(the word “lay” is not used without prefixes, so it is necessary to use only such correct forms - put, lay out, impose, etc.)

If a person calls himself cultured, then it is assumed that he has a number of distinctive qualities: he has a large or above average vocabulary, the ability to correctly and competently express his thoughts, and a desire to improve the level of knowledge in the field of linguistics and ethical standards. From ancient times to this day, literary speech has been the standard of etiquette and highly cultural communication. The basis of the correct Russian language lies in classical works. Therefore, we can say with confidence that Speech etiquette is completely interconnected with the culture of communication.

Without a high-quality education, good upbringing and a special desire to improve communicative qualities, a person will not be able to fully observe the culture of speech, since he will simply be unfamiliar with it. The environment has a special influence on the development of an individual’s linguistic culture. Speech habits are “practiced” among friends and family.

Moreover, speech culture is directly related to such an ethical category as politeness, which, in turn, also characterizes the speaker (a polite person or a rude person). In this regard, we can say that people who do not comply with communication norms show their interlocutor a lack of culture, their bad manners and impoliteness. For example, a person did not say hello at the beginning of a conversation, uses profanity, swear words, or does not use the respectful address “you” when it was expected and implied.

Speech etiquette is closely intertwined with the culture of communication. To improve the level of speech, it is necessary not only to study the template formulas of official dialogue, but also to improve the quality of knowledge by reading classical literature and communicating with polite and highly intelligent people.

Functions

Speech etiquette performs a number of important functions. Without them, it is difficult to form an idea about it, as well as to understand how it manifests itself at the moment of communication between people.

One of the main functions of language is communicative, because the basis of speech etiquette is communication. In turn, it consists of a number of other tasks, without which it would not be able to function fully:

Social(aimed at establishing contact). This implies the initial establishment of a connection with the interlocutor, maintaining attention. Sign language plays a special role at the stage of establishing contact. As a rule, people look eye to eye and smile. Usually this is done unconsciously, on a subconscious level, in order to show the joy of meeting and starting a dialogue, they extend their hand for a handshake (if they get to know each other closely).
Connotative. This function is aimed at showing politeness towards each other. This applies to both the beginning of the dialogue and the entire communication in general.
Regulatory. It has a direct connection with the above. From the name it is clear that it regulates relationships between people during communication. In addition, its purpose is to convince the interlocutor of something, to encourage him to act or, conversely, to prohibit him from doing something.
Emotional. Each conversation has its own level of emotionality, which is set from the very beginning. It depends on the degree of acquaintance of people, the room in which they are located (a public place or a cozy table in the corner of a cafe), as well as on the mood of each individual at the time of speech.

Some linguists supplement this list with the following functions:

Imperative. It involves the influence of opponents on each other during a conversation through gestures and facial expressions. With the help of open poses, you can win over a person, scare or put pressure on him, “increasing his volume” (the speaker raises his arms high and wide, spreads his legs, looks up).
Discussive and polemical. In other words, it’s a dispute.

Based on the above functions, the following series of properties of speech etiquette are distinguished:

thanks to him, a person can feel like a full-fledged part of the team;
it helps to establish communication connections between people;
helps to find out information about the interlocutor;
with its help you can show your degree of respect for your opponent;
Speech etiquette helps to establish a positive emotional mood, which helps prolong the conversation and establish more friendly contact.

The above functions and properties once again prove that speech etiquette is the basis of communication between people, which helps a person start a conversation and end it tactfully.

Kinds

If you turn to the modern dictionary of the Russian language, you can find a definition of speech as a form of communication between people using sounds, which form the basis of words from which sentences are built, and gestures.

In turn, speech can be internal (“dialogue in the head”) and external. External communication is divided into written and oral. Oral communication takes the form of dialogue or monologue. Moreover, written speech is secondary, and oral speech is primary.

Dialogue is a process of communication between two or more individuals for the purpose of exchanging information, impressions, experiences, and emotions. Monologue is the speech of one person. It can be addressed to the audience, to oneself, or to the reader.

Written speech is more conservative in structure than oral speech. She also strictly “requires” the use of punctuation marks, the purpose of which is to convey the exact intent and emotional component. Transmitting words in writing is a complex and interesting process. Before writing anything, a person thinks about what exactly he wants to say and convey to the reader, and then how to write it down correctly (grammatically and stylistically).

Audible verbal communication is oral speech. It is situational, limited by time and space where the speaker directly speaks. Oral communication can be characterized by categories such as:

content (cognitive, material, emotional, stimulating and activity-based);
interaction techniques (role communication, business, social, etc.);
purpose of communication.

If we talk about speech in a secular society, then in this situation people communicate on topics that are prescribed in speech etiquette. In essence, this is empty, pointless and polite communication. To some extent it can be called mandatory. People may perceive a person’s behavior as an insult in their direction if he does not communicate or greet anyone at a social reception or corporate event.

In a business conversation, the main task is to achieve agreement and approval on the part of the opponent on any issue or matter of interest.

Elements of speech

The purpose of any speech act is to influence the interlocutor. The conversation is created in order to convey information to a person, have fun, and convince him of something. Speech is a unique phenomenon that is observed only in human beings. The more meaningful and expressive it is, the greater the effect it will produce.

It should be understood that words written on paper will have less impact on the reader than phrases spoken out loud with emotion embedded in them. The text cannot convey the entire “palette” of the mood of the individual who wrote it.

The following elements of speech are distinguished:

Content. This is one of the most important elements, since it reflects the true knowledge of the speaker, his vocabulary, erudition, as well as the ability to convey to the listeners the main topic of the conversation. If the speaker “floats” in the topic, is poorly informed and uses expressions and phrases that he does not understand, then the listener will immediately understand this and lose interest. If this is often observed in an individual, then soon interest in him as a person will be lost.
Naturalness of speech. First of all, a person must be confident in what he says and how he says it. This will help you to have a natural dialogue without taking on any role. It is much easier for people to perceive calm speech without “officiality” and pretense. It is very important that the posture of the speaking individual is also natural. All movements, turns, steps must be smooth and measured.

Composition. This is a sequential, ordered arrangement of parts of speech and their logical relationship. The composition is divided into five stages: establishing contact, introduction, main speech, conclusion, summing up. If you remove one of them, then conveying information will be a more complex process.
Understandability. Before you say anything, you need to think about whether the listener will understand you correctly. Therefore, it is necessary to select appropriate stylistic means of expressing thoughts. talking man must pronounce words clearly and moderately loudly, maintain a certain pace (not too fast, but not too slow), and sentences must be moderate in length. Try to reveal the meaning of abbreviations and complex foreign concepts.
Emotionality. It is clear that a person’s speech should always convey a certain amount of emotion. They can be conveyed using intonation, expression and “juicy” words. Thanks to this, the opponent will be able to fully understand the essence of the conversation and become interested.
Eye contact. This element of speech helps not only to establish contact, but also to maintain it. Through eye-to-eye contact, people show their interest and also demonstrate their involvement in the conversation. But visual contact must be established correctly. If you look closely and do not blink, the interlocutor may perceive this as an act of aggression.
Non-verbal communication. Gestures, facial expressions and postures play a big role during a conversation. They help convey information, convey your attitude to the words spoken and win over your interlocutor. It’s always nice to listen to a person who “helps” himself with his face and hands. Ordinary verbal communication is boring and dry, without gestures or facial expressions.

The above elements of speech help to analyze any person, to understand how educated, erudite and educated he is.

Language of the body

Sometimes nonverbal communication can reveal more than an individual is trying to say. In this regard, when communicating with an unfamiliar person, management or colleague, you need to monitor your gestures and movements. Non-verbal transmission of information occurs almost subconsciously and can influence the emotional tone of the conversation.

Body language includes gestures, postures, and facial expressions. In turn, gestures can be individual (they can be associated with physiological characteristics, habits), emotional, ritual (when a person crosses himself, prays, etc.) and generally accepted (extending his hand to shake hands).

Human activity leaves an important mark on body language. It can also change depending on environmental factors.

Thanks to gestures and postures, you can understand your opponent’s readiness to communicate. If he uses open gestures (legs or arms are not crossed, does not stand half-turned), then this means that the person is not closed and wants to communicate. Otherwise (in closed positions), it is better not to bother you, but to communicate another time.

A conversation with an official or boss is not always carried out when you really want it. Therefore, you need to control your body to avoid unpleasant questions.

Masters of oratory advise not to clench your palms into fists, not to hide your hands back (perceived as a threat), try not to close yourself off (cross your legs, it is especially unethical to cross your legs in such a way that the toe “pokes” at the interlocutor).

During the speech act, it is better to avoid touching the nose, eyebrows, and earlobe. This may be perceived as a gesture indicating a lie in the words.

Particular attention should be paid to the facial muscles. What's in the soul is on the face. Of course, when you talk to a close friend, you can let go of your emotions, but in the business sphere this is unacceptable. During interviews, negotiations and business meetings, it is better not to compress or bite your lips(this is how a person expresses his distrust and concern), try to look into the eyes or at the entire audience. If the gaze is constantly turned to the side or down, then this is how a person expresses his disinterest and fatigue.

According to the rules of speech etiquette with strangers and in an official setting, it is better to behave with restraint, without unnecessary emotional leaks. As for ordinary everyday communication with friends and family, in this case you can allow yourself to relax so that your gestures and postures echo the words spoken.

Basic rules and regulations

Speech etiquette requires a person to comply with certain norms, since without them the culture of communication itself would not exist. The rules are divided into two groups: strictly prohibitive and more recommendatory in nature (they are determined by the situation and the place in which communication takes place). Speech behavior also has its own regulations.

compliance of the language with literary norms;
maintain phasing (first there is a greeting, then the main part of the conversation, then the end of the conversation);
avoidance of swear words, rudeness, tactless and disrespectful behavior;
choosing the appropriate tone and manner of communication for the situation;
using accurate terminology and professionalism without errors.

The rules of speech etiquette list following rules communication:

in your speech you must try to avoid “empty” words that do not carry meaning, as well as monotonous speech patterns and expressions; Communication should take place at a level accessible to the interlocutor, using understandable words and phrases.
during the dialogue, let the opponent speak, do not interrupt him and listen to him to the end;
the most important thing is to be polite and tactful.

Formulas

At the heart of any conversation there are a number of norms and rules that must be adhered to. In speech etiquette, the concept of speech formulas is distinguished. They help “decompose” the conversation between people into stages. The following stages of conversation are distinguished:

Start of communication(greeting the interlocutor or getting to know him). Here, as a rule, a person chooses the form of address himself. It all depends on the gender of the people entering into the dialogue, their age and emotional state. If these are teenagers, then they can say to each other “Hi! "and that will be fine. In the case when the people starting the conversation are of different age groups, it is better to use the words “Hello”, “Good afternoon/evening”. When these are old acquaintances, communication can begin quite emotionally: “I’m so glad to see you! ", "Long time no see! " There are no strict regulations at this stage if this is normal everyday communication, but in the case of business meetings it is necessary to adhere to a “high” style.
Main conversation. In this part, the development of dialogue depends on the situation. This could be an ordinary fleeting meeting on the street, a special event (wedding, anniversary, birthday), a funeral or an office conversation. In the case when it is some kind of holiday, the communication formulas are divided into two branches - inviting the interlocutor to a celebration or significant event and congratulations (congratulatory speech with wishes).
Invitation. In this situation, it is better to use the following words: “I would like to invite you”, “I will be glad to see you”, “please accept my invitation”, etc.
Wishes. Here the speech formulas are as follows: “accept my congratulations from the bottom of my heart”, “let me congratulate you”, “on behalf of the entire team I wish...”, etc.

Sad events related to the loss of a loved one, etc. It is very important that encouraging words do not sound dry and officious, without proper emotional overtones. It is very absurd and inappropriate to communicate with a person in such grief with a smile and active gestures. In these difficult days for a person, it is necessary to use the following phrases: “accept my condolences”, “I sincerely sympathize with your grief”, “be strong in spirit”, etc.

Working office routine. It is worth understanding that communication with a colleague, subordinate and manager will have different formulas of speech etiquette. In a dialogue with each of the listed people, words may include compliments, advice, encouragement, requests for favors, etc.

Advice and requests. When a person advises an opponent, the following templates are used: “I would like to advise you...”, “if you allow me, I will give you advice”, “I advise you”, etc. It is easy to agree that asking someone for a favor is sometimes difficult and uncomfortable. Well-mannered man will feel a little awkward. In such a situation, the following words are used: “can I ask you about ...”, “don’t take it as rude, but I need your help”, “please help me”, etc.

The individual experiences the same emotions when he needs to refuse. To make this polite and ethical, you should use the following speech formulas: “I beg your pardon, but I have to refuse,” “I’m afraid I can’t help you,” “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to help you,” etc.

Acknowledgments. It is more pleasant to express gratitude, but it also needs to be presented correctly: “I thank you with all my heart,” “I am very grateful to you,” “thank you,” etc.
Compliments and words of encouragement also require correct presentation. It is important that a person understands to whom he is giving a compliment, since management may perceive it as flattery, and a stranger may consider it rudeness or mockery. Therefore, the following expressions are regulated here: “you are an excellent companion,” “your skills in this matter helped us a lot,” “you look good today,” etc.

Don’t forget about the form of addressing a person. Many sources indicate that at work and with unfamiliar people it is better to stick to the “you” form, since “you” is a more personal and everyday address
Ending communication. After the main part of the conversation has reached its climax, the third stage begins - the logical end of the dialogue. Saying goodbye to a person also has different forms. This could be a simple wish for a good day or good health. Sometimes the end of the dialogue may end with words of hope for a new meeting: “See you soon,” “I hope I don’t see you.” last time”, “I would really like to meet you again”, etc. Doubts are often expressed that the interlocutors will ever meet again: “I’m not sure whether we’ll see each other again”, “Don’t remember it badly”, “I’ll remember only good things for you."

These formulas are divided into 3 stylistic groups:

Neutral. Words without emotional connotation are used here. They are used in everyday communication, at work in the office, as well as at home (“hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “ good day" etc.).
Increased. Words and expressions of this group are intended for solemn and significant events. They usually express emotional condition the person and his thoughts (“I’m very sorry”, “I’m very glad to see you”, “I really hope to see you soon”, etc.).
Reduced. This includes phrases and expressions that are used informally among “our own people.” They can be very rude and colloquial (“salute”, “hello”, “healthy”). They are most often used by teenagers and young people.

All of the above formulas of speech etiquette are not strict regulations for daily communication. Of course, in an official setting you should adhere to a certain order, but in everyday life you can use words that are closer to a “warm” conversation (“hello/bye”, “glad to meet you”, “see you tomorrow”, etc.).

Carrying on a conversation

At first glance, it may seem that conducting small cultural conversation is very simple, but this is not entirely true. It will be difficult for a person without special communication skills to implement this. Everyday communication with loved ones, friends and family is very different from business and official conversation.

For each type of speech communication, society has imposed certain frameworks and norms that require strict adherence to them. For example, everyone knows that in reading rooms, libraries, shops, cinemas or museums you cannot talk loudly or inquire in public family relationships, discuss problems in a raised voice, etc.

Speech is spontaneous and situational, so it needs to be controlled and corrected (if necessary). Speech etiquette “calls” for loyalty, attentiveness to the interlocutor, as well as for maintaining the purity and correctness of speech as such.

Avoidance of swear words, insults, swearing and humiliation in relation to the opponent. By using them, the person uttering them loses the respect of the listener. This is especially prohibited in the field of business communication (office, educational institution). The most important and basic rule is mutual respect during dialogue.
Lack of egocentrism when speaking. You need to try not to focus on yourself, your problems, experiences and emotions; you should not be intrusive, boastful and annoying. Otherwise, soon a person simply will not want to communicate with such an individual.
The interlocutor must show interest in communication. It is always nice to tell something to a person when he is interested in the subject of conversation. In this regard, eye contact, clarifying questions, and open postures are very important.
Matching the topic of conversation with the place in which it occurs and with the person with whom it is conducted. You should not discuss personal or intimate issues with an unfamiliar interlocutor. The conversation will be awkward and off-putting. You also need to understand where the dialogue starts. For example, during a theater performance it would be extremely inappropriate and tactless to conduct a conversation.

A conversation should only be started if it really does not distract the opponent from something important. If you can see that a person is in a hurry somewhere, doing something, then it is better to check with him about the time when he can communicate.
The style of speech must meet the norms of business conversation. In a classroom or work environment, it is important to be mindful of what you say, as it may have consequences.
Moderate gestures. The body gives away emotions and intentions. With strong and expressive gestures, it is difficult for the interlocutor to concentrate on the topic of conversation. Moreover, it can be regarded as a threat.
Age limits must be respected. With a person several times older than yourself, you must use the “you” address or by name and patronymic. This is how respect for the interlocutor is shown. If the age group is approximately the same, strangers should also use this form. If people know each other, then communication can take place via personal rules, which have long been established. It would be very rude to “poke” towards a younger interlocutor from an adult.

Types of situations

Absolutely every dialogue or communication is a speech situation. Conversation between individuals can take various shapes, it all depends on a number of factors. These include gender composition, time, place, theme, motive.

The gender of the interlocutor plays an important role. In terms of emotional coloring, a conversation between two young men will always differ from the dialogue between girls, just like the dialogue between a man and a woman.

As a rule, speech etiquette involves a man using respectful forms of words when addressing a girl, as well as calling “you” in a formal setting.

The use of different speech formulas directly depends on the place. If this is an official reception, meeting, interview or other important event, then it is necessary to use the words “high level”. In the case when this is a regular meeting on the street or on a bus, you can use stylistically neutral expressions and words.

Speech situations are divided into the following types:

Official business. There are people here who do the following: social roles: leader - subordinate, teacher - student, waiter - visitor, etc. In this case, strict adherence to ethical standards and rules of speech culture is necessary. Violations will be immediately noted by the interlocutor and may carry consequences.
Unofficial (informal). Communication here is calm and relaxed. There is no need for strict adherence to etiquette. In this situation, dialogues take place between relatives, close friends, and classmates. But it is worth noting the fact that when such a group of people appears stranger, then the conversation from now on should be built within the framework of speech etiquette.
Semi-formal. This type has a very vague framework of communication contacts. This includes work colleagues, neighbors, and the family as a whole. People communicate by established rules team. This simple form communication, which has certain ethical restrictions.

National and cultural traditions

One of the important assets of the people is culture and speech etiquette, which do not exist without each other. Each country has its own ethical standards and rules of communication. They can sometimes seem strange and unusual for a Russian person.

Each culture has its own speech formulas, originating from the origins of the formation of the nation and state itself. They reflect established folk habits and customs, as well as society’s attitude towards men and women (as you know, in Arab countries it is considered unethical to touch a girl and communicate with her without the presence of a person accompanying her).

For example, residents of the Caucasus (Ossetians, Kabardians, Dagestanis and others) have specific greeting features. These words are selected to suit the situation: a person greets a stranger, a guest entering a house, a farmer in different ways. The beginning of the conversation also depends on age. It also differs by gender.

Residents of Mongolia also greet in a very unusual way. The words of greeting depend on the time of year. In winter, they may greet a person with the words: “How is winter going? “This habit remains from a sedentary lifestyle, when you had to constantly move from place to place. IN autumn time may ask: “Do cattle have a lot of fat? »

If we talk about Eastern culture, then in China, when meeting, they ask the question whether a person is hungry, whether he has eaten today. And provincial Cambodians ask: “Are you happy today?”

Not only speech norms differ, but also gestures. When Europeans meet, they extend their hands for a handshake (men), and if they are very close acquaintances, they kiss them on the cheek.

Residents of southern countries hug, and in the East they make a small respectful bow. In this regard, it is very important to recognize such features and be prepared for them, otherwise you can simply offend a person without even knowing about it.