A young couple gathered to baptize their baby. And then there’s a sea of questions: who should we take as godparents? How to baptize? Where to contact? What is needed for that? The questions were sorted out, the child was christened. And now there’s a new dilemma: who has to Godfather the child's father? AND godmother- mother of the baby? They became relatives, and that’s understandable. Just what are these relatives called? Now we'll find out everything.
How godparents are chosen
I would like to apologize to the readers for the above story. He could be called funny if he weren't so sad. The story was published in the book of priest Yaroslav Shipov. And it is truthful.
A man comes to church. From among the villagers. He needs to talk to his father. They called the priest from the altar, and the visitor right off the bat. And he has a wild question: is it possible to baptize his son again? The priest, of course, did not allow it. They are baptized once and for life. But I couldn’t resist asking: what is the reason for this decision? To which I received the answer: you can’t drink with your current godparents. The godmother drank herself to death, and the godfather quit.
We in no way want to say that our dear readers baptize children just for the sake of such gatherings. This is completely absurd. But let's think about how we choose godparents for our children. What are we guided by?
- Firstly, we trust those people who should become godparents.
- Secondly, we know: if something happens to us, the godparents will not leave the baby, they will take care of him.
- And thirdly, many godparents help godchildren financially. They buy expensive gifts, go out and entertain them. In general, they relieve parents of part of the costs.
Well, they are good people, of course, the chosen godparents.
That's all true. Just absolutely not the right approach. And before we figure out who the godfather is to the child’s parents, let’s find out how to choose godparents.
What should we be guided by?
The godfather is the child's successor before God. And his task includes responsibility for the spiritual education of his godson.
Spiritual education does not mean helping parents financially and physically. No, no one cancels or prohibits this. But the main task is to accustom the godson to the faith, to raise him in the bosom of the church. In other words, the godfather is responsible for the spiritual life of his successor. And it is he who must instill in his godson the love of God.
Therefore, when we choose godparents, we must pay attention to the fact that they are believers. Not just baptized, but familiar with church life from the inside. Otherwise, what can godparents who don’t know a single prayer teach a child? And, by the way, they have a very big responsibility. They will answer before God for their godchildren.
Responsibilities of godparents to the parents of the godson
Who is the godfather of the child's father? A real godfather. It is believed that from the moment the baby is baptized, godparents and blood parents become related. Even if they are not related by blood.
This is not entirely true. The godfather has no responsibilities to the parents, other than raising the godson in the faith. By and large, helping them support the child is not within his competence. Responsibility for his spiritual development is a different matter. And feeding, drinking, clothing is the task of parents. Godparents and blood parents do not become relatives. Spiritual kinship arises only between the recipient and his ward.
Misconceptions about godparents
Who is the godmother to the child's father? Kumoi. What do you need to know about misconceptions related in one way or another to godfathers?
- An unmarried girl cannot have a girl baptized. Supposedly she gives her her happiness. This is all nonsense. Of course, when a godfather has a husband and children, she is more experienced in everyday life. And he knows how to raise children. But she may be completely unskilled in faith. Equally as unmarried girl can be a believer and instill in her goddaughter the love of God.
- The same nonsense with an unmarried guy. He can’t baptize the boy, he’s giving up his fate. Don't believe it. This is bullshit.
- Pregnant women are prohibited from becoming godparents. Or baby dead will be born, or the godson will die. It would be difficult to think of anything more stupid. The only point is that it will be difficult for a woman preparing to become a mother to devote time to the spiritual education of her godson. Only because of this is it more appropriate to abandon the title of godmother.
- If a child cries during baptism, God does not accept him. Where this nonsense came from is unknown. But you can still encounter this savagery. The aunties and grandmothers who are at the christening begin to gasp and wail. Like, our little baby is crying a lot. It's not the baby who's bad, it's the aunties and grandmothers who have problems. The child is simply scared, hot, and his mother is not around. So he cries.
- If you don’t enter into an intimate relationship with your godfather, your life is over. Yes, there is an opinion that godparents are simply obliged to sleep with each other. It is unacceptable. Godparents do not have the right to enter into an intimate relationship with each other, the godson’s parents, or the godson himself. This is a great sin, for which one is excommunicated from the church.
How to prepare for christening?
Who is the daughter's godfather to her blood father? We found this out - godfather. Now let's talk about how godmothers prepare for christenings.
The following responsibilities fall on the shoulders of godparents:
- purchase of a cross, baptismal shirt;
- payment for christening;
- expenses for candles and other paraphernalia.
Parents are responsible for festive table. Should I give gifts to godparents? And should godparents give gifts to their ward and his parents? This is at the discretion of each of them. Do you have the opportunity and desire? Why not give a gift.
Before christening, future recipients undergo a course of mandatory lectures. Now this condition has been introduced in almost all churches. You will have to listen to at least three lectures.
How to negotiate a christening
Godfather is the one who is the father of the godson to the godfather. And he negotiates with the priest about the baby’s christening.
How to do it? Come to church, preferably on Sunday. You defend the service. No time? Then come to the end of the service. Ask to call the priest for the candle box. And you say that you want to become a godfather, you need to baptize the child.
The priest will tell you everything else: when to come to public conversations, how to behave at baptism, what prayers to learn before baptism.
It is important
We found out who the godfather is to the child's father and mother. What should I do with my godmother? Imagine the situation: you have attended a course of lectures, and a christening day has been set. Father is waiting, the guests have gathered. And the future godmother’s critical days have come.
At this time, a woman must not enter the temple or begin any sacraments. This includes baptism. Therefore, to avoid embarrassment, look in advance at women's calendar. And ask to schedule a christening after a week of illness has passed. According to church rules, a woman is considered unclean for a week.
And one more thing: come to the christening in a skirt or dress. There must be a scarf on the head. Godfathers come in trousers. Frivolous outfits, such as shorts, are prohibited. Shoulders and arms must be covered, so wrestling jerseys are abolished.
Conclusion
So we talked about who the godfather is to the father of the child. Remember: godparents and blood parents are godfathers. The godfather is the godfather. The godmother is, accordingly, godfather.
The material examined the main misconceptions associated with godparents. It also tells how to prepare for christening, what the actions of godparents are and what obligations they have to the parents of their receiver.
You have been invited to be godparents. This is a great honor and a great responsibility. What are the responsibilities of the godfather and godmother, what should be done during and after baptism?
Baby baptism. Photo from the site https://dveri.bg/uap64
Main responsibilities of godparents
During the sacrament of baptism, the godparents have the responsibility to vouch for the faith of the baby and subsequently raise him in the Orthodox faith. The child himself does not know anything yet and cannot profess faith, so godparents bring baptismal vows for him. If your faith is not strong enough, you should think seriously before agreeing to take on the responsibilities of a godfather. After all, in the future you will have to answer to God not only for yourself, but also for your godson.
Godparents pray for their godson all their lives. While the child is small, they teach him the Orthodox faith, try to get him to visit church more often, take communion, explain the meaning of worship, talk about saints, icons, Orthodox holidays. When a child becomes a teenager, it is the godparents who must take special care of his moral condition. This explains the choice of godparents - a boy certainly needs a godfather, and a girl needs a godmother; the presence of a second godfather is not mandatory. With a godfather of the same sex, it is easier for a teenager to discuss some personal issues, problems that he may not dare to talk about with his parents.
What godparents must do before the sacrament of baptism
The future godparents, together with the baby's parents, agree on the place and time of baptism. Before the sacrament, you will need to undergo a public conversation, or “interview,” in the church where the baptism will take place. There may be several such conversations. They lay out the basics Orthodox faith that every Christian needs to know.
Who exactly will buy the baptismal set, pectoral cross and an icon - there is no fundamental difference. If godparents want to give a gift to their godson, they can bear part of the costs themselves.
Some wealthy people order a measured icon - this is an icon painted to order, on a board that corresponds to the height of the baby at birth. It depicts a saint whose name is given to the child.
More often they buy an icon in a church shop: for a boy - the Savior, for a girl - Mother of God. You can choose any icon based on your desires, tastes and means. But it should be borne in mind that this icon will be with the godson all his life. In the old days, it was customary to bless a grown child for marriage with this icon. Entering family life, the bride and groom each brought their own icon with them, and they formed the so-called “wedding pair” of icons. Based on this, it is better to buy not the smallest icon (on which you can barely see the image), but a slightly larger one (usually chosen approximately the size of a book) and in a frame. But, I repeat, there are no hard and fast rules here, and if you are very limited in funds, an expensive icon is not at all an end in itself.
When choosing a cross for a child, you should not buy the tiniest one. It seems very suitable for such a baby, but the baby will grow up, and a tiny cross, especially on a man, will look completely different. It is better to buy a medium-sized cross.
A baptismal set, as a rule, can be bought at a church shop at a temple. It includes a diaper with an embroidered cross, a shirt and a scarf for a girl.
The sacrament of baptism. Photo from the website of photographer Nadezhda Smirnova http://www.fotosmirnova.com/kreschenie
Responsibilities of godparents during baptism
Godparents must know by heart Symbol of faith, which contains all the main truths of Orthodoxy. It will need to be read during the sacrament of baptism:
I believe in one God the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the only begotten, who was born of the Father before all ages; Light from Light, true God from true God, born, uncreated, consubstantial with the Father, to Whom all things were. For our sake, man and our salvation came down from heaven and became incarnate from the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became human. She was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. And he rose again on the third day according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And again the coming one will be judged with glory by the living and the dead, His Kingdom will have no end. And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Life-Giving One, who proceeds from the Father, who with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke the prophets. Into one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. I hope for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century. Amen.
During the sacrament, the godparents hold the baby in their arms (if the child is worried and crying, it is allowed to be held by the mother, there is no violation). The most important moment is when the godfather receives the godson from the font from the hands of the priest. Therefore, godparents are otherwise called godparents. The godfather must receive the boy from the font, and the godmother must accept the girl.
Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!
Briefly:
- The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
- There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
- After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
- Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
- Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.
Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.
– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?
– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.
Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.
During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.
The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.
– What should I give to my godson?
– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form accepted in Orthodox Church.
In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.
– How can I choose godparents for my child?
– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.
The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And of course, important criterion there must be a degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.
– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?
- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.
– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?
– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.
– Who can’t be a godfather?
- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.
An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.
According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.
– Which relative can be godfather?
– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.
– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?
– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.
As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.
- I was invited to be godmother a girl, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first. Is it so?
– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.
– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?
– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.
On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.
– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?
– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.
About godparents
Natalia Sukhinina
“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."
(From a letter from a reader)
It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.
Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?
To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.
Who doesn't know this picture?
Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.
Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance, but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event.
- When last time“Were you in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:
- Do you wear a cross?
- Do you read prayers?
– Are you reading the Gospel?
– Do you honor church holidays?
And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.
The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.
We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.
Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.
– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.
“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.
The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.
At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know completely certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.
... The baby's baptism is behind us. Ahead of him big life, in which we are given a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.
Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.
This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which one of them can truly become good helper in upbringing, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.
If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.
The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.
But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.
This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.
Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.
For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, busy, not very much a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has come to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, good mother, I didn’t owe my own child anything. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.
Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:
– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...
Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.
Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.
Baptism is one of the important events in life Orthodox man. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Special attention One should pay attention to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. Therefore, the godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.
The role of a godfather in a child's life
Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:
- Show for him worthy example with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
- Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
- Visiting a temple with your child.
- Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
- The responsibilities of the godfather also include financial support if necessary (if the parents a difficult situation with money or work).
What do you need to know to choose godparents?
So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.
Of course, the decision about who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at the family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.
It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.
Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.
Who can't be a godfather?
When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:
- Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
- Parents of the baby.
- Those who accepted monasticism.
- Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
- You cannot take as godparents people who have mental illness.
- Those who profess a different faith.
All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.
Necessary items for the ceremony
You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:
- Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
- Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
- Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
- It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
- It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
- You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).
Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?
You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most the right step there will be an appeal to a confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. All free time It is advisable to devote time to prayer.
If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.
More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.
Present
Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.
It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.
There is one main gift, which should be presented to the baby by his godfather. The responsibilities during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift is a pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.
For parents, especially for the mother of the baby, a good gift There will be a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family.
How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?
Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.
The celebration of the little man's joining the church was celebrated with a large number of guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and Best wishes baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where he lived little man, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).
There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.
It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.
How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather
Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.
The responsibilities of the godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.
The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.
The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.
Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.
So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.
Baptism at home
In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).
After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger (illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place in a home environment, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony was performed in a church.
Church life of new Christians
You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. The first acquaintance with church rules begins with the prayer of one’s own mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.
Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothing (if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on the home iconostasis (if there is one). The candle is used in special cases and they also keep it for life.
The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church with him, take communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.
This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. As you grow older, difficult questions can arise. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.
Conclusion
So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.
If parents have children in previous or subsequent marriages, they are considered half-siblings. The mother's husband, but not the father of her child, is the stepfather. The father's wife, but not the child's own mother - a stepmother. The step-son of a husband or wife during the next marriage of his parent (parent) is a stepson, and a step-daughter is a stepdaughter.
Russian folklore speaks unflatteringly about the stepmother: people did not believe that a woman could love someone else’s child as her own. It is no coincidence that the plant was named so: coltsfoot. Its leaves are smooth and cold on top, and warm and fluffy on the inside. They also say: “The other side is the stepmother.”
When adopted, a child was called an adopted child. The new parents - the named mother and the named father - considered the girl to be the named daughter, and the boy to be the named son.
The imprisoned mother and father became close, but not relatives - people who were invited to the wedding to replace their own mother and own father bride and groom.
And after a newborn appeared in the family, he might need a mother, a nurse, a milk mother. To feed it meant almost becoming related to the baby. Older children were assigned an uncle for care and supervision. Such a guy raised the cavalry maiden Shurochka Azarova in the film “The Hussar Ballad.”
Men could fraternize by exchanging body crosses and kissed three times. They became cross brothers. Fraternization was the result of great friendship or saving a life in battle. Girls' friendship, not related by kinship, was also secured by a peculiar ritual: the girls exchanged pectoral crosses. Then they called their friends that way - crusaders, brothers-in-arms, sworn sisters.
Spiritual kinship
Religious ties in families were strong and unostentatious. As required by the ritual, each little godson or goddaughter had a godfather and godmother. The godfather's father became a godfather, the son became a godbrother, and both godparents in relation to the godson's parents became godfathers: he is godfather, she is godfather. The godfather and godfather took upon themselves the responsibility of taking care of the religious education of their godson and in the event of the death of their parents, they took their place. Being a godfather to the first or second child in a family used to be considered a great honor.
They chose godfather and mother from close people: relatives or family friends. A pregnant woman was not called a godmother: it was believed that the godson would die. If newborns or young children died in families, the first person they met was taken as a godfather. Preference was given to godparents who had many godchildren alive.
An unmarried man, who was to become a godfather for the first time, chose a girl for baptism, an unmarried girl - a boy. It was believed that otherwise the girl risked remaining a century-old woman, and the guy a bachelor. There was a belief among the peasants that if the girl or guy who was invited to be godparents to the first child was older than the godson’s parents, then the girl would marry a widower, and the guy would marry a widow or woman older than him. Therefore, accordingly, they tried to make godmothers younger than their parents.
On Peter's Day (July 12), the godmother baked unleavened pies with cottage cheese for the godchildren. On Forgiveness Day (the last day before Great Lent), according to custom, the godfather went to the godfather with soap, and she went to him with gingerbread. According to the canons of Orthodoxy, godparents could not marry each other.
Dictionary of kinship relations
GRANDMOTHER, grandmother - mother of father or mother, wife of grandfather.
BROTHER - a son in relation to other children of the same parents.
BROTHER GODFATHER - son of the godfather.
Brother of the Cross, brother of the cross, brother named - persons who exchanged pectoral crosses.
BRO, bro, bro, bro, bro - cousin.
BROTANICH - brother's nephew.
BROTHER - cousin's wife.
Bratanna is her brother's daughter, brother's niece.
Brother - a cousin or distant relative.
Bratova is her brother's wife.
Bratych is a brother's son, brother's nephew.
A widow is a woman who did not enter into a second marriage after the death of her husband.
A widower is a man who did not enter into a second marriage after the death of his wife.
A great aunt is a grandparent's sister (great aunt).
A great uncle is a brother of a grandfather or grandmother.
Branch - line of kinship.
Grandson - son of a son or daughter, sons of a nephew or niece.
A great-great-niece is the granddaughter of a first cousin.
Great-niece - granddaughter of a brother or sister (second cousin).
Grandchild, great-grandson - being a relative in the third generation, second cousin.
Great-siblings are second cousins.
A great-great-cousin is the grandson of a first cousin.
A great-nephew is a grandson of a brother or sister.
Great-great-second cousin - grandson of a second cousin (second cousin).
Granddaughter, grandson - the daughter of a son or daughter, nephew or niece.
A great-aunt is the sister of a grandmother or grandfather.
Great-great-grandmother is the sister of a great-grandmother or great-grandfather.
A great-great-great-grandmother is the sister of a great-great-grandmother or great-great-grandfather.
A great niece is the daughter of a first cousin.
Cousin - daughter of an uncle or aunt.
Great aunt - cousin father or mother.
Cousin - related in the second generation.
Cousin - son of an uncle or aunt.
A great-uncle is a brother of a grandfather or grandmother.
A great uncle is a cousin of one's father or mother.
A first cousin is the son of a first cousin.
A great-great-grandfather is the brother of a great-grandfather or great-grandmother.
A great-great-great-grandfather is the brother of a great-great-grandfather or great-great-grandmother.
Brother-in-law is the husband's brother.
Grandfather (grandfather) - the father of the father or mother.
The godfather is the godfather's father.
Grandfather, grandfather - uncle's aunt.
Dedich is the direct heir of his grandfather.
A daughter is a female person in relation to her parents.
The named daughter is an adopted child, a pupil.
Dsherich is his aunt's nephew.
Daughter's aunt's niece.
An uncle is a person caring for a child.
An uncle is the brother of the father or mother, as well as the husband of the aunt.
Half-blooded children (consanguineous) - children born from the same father (consanguineous father), but different mothers).
Single-uterine children (one-uterine) are children born by the same mother, but from different fathers.
Half-uterine - born of the same mother, but from a different father.
A wife is a woman in relation to the man with whom she is married.
Zhenima, zhenishka - unmarried fourth wife.
The groom is the one who has betrothed his bride.
Sister-in-law, sister-in-law, sister-in-law - the husband’s sister, sometimes the brother’s wife.
Son-in-law is the husband of a daughter, sister.
A knee is a branch of a clan, a generation in a genealogy.
A godmother is a participant in the baptismal ceremony in the role of a spiritual mother.
Godson - godson.
Goddaughter - goddaughter.
A godfather is a participant in the baptismal ceremony in the role of a spiritual father.
Consanguinity - descent from the same parents.
Blood - about kinship within the same family.
Cousin - cousin.
Cousin - cousin.
Godfather is the godfather in relation to the godson's parents and the godmother.
Kuma is the godmother in relation to the godson's parents and to the godfather.
Little aunt - sister of father or mother (cousin).
Little uncle - brother of father or mother.
A mother is a woman in relation to her children.
The godmother, the godmother, is the recipient of the baptismal ceremony.