Parents of the godson's godson. Responsibilities of godparents to the parents of the godson

Unless anyone is born of water and the Spirit,

cannot enter the Kingdom of God(John 3:5)

The birth of a child in an Orthodox family is followed by his baptism. Unfortunately, not all Orthodox Christians are churchgoers, so many questions arise: what is the time frame for a child’s baptism, how does the procedure itself work, who are the godparents, who can be spiritual teachers for boys and girls?

The Orthodox Church does not set the age of baptism for children. In each family, this issue is resolved independently, based on the characteristics of the way of life, the health of the child, and so on.

For centuries, a tradition has been established to baptize infants no earlier than 40 days from their birth. There is an explanation for this. His parents brought Jesus Christ to the Temple for dedication to God on the fortieth day, according to the custom of the ancient Jews.

During the same period, a woman after childbirth goes through a period of cleansing. After reading a special prayer, she can visit the temple and fully participate in the life of the Church and its Sacraments, including being present at the baptism of her child.

If the baby is weak and sick, you can wait until he grows up and gets stronger. The church prays for “mother and child,” so God’s help will not leave both of them, but the child’s full participation in church life will be possible only after baptism.

If the life of a newborn is in danger of death, then it is better to baptize him as early as possible in order to be able to pray for health or remember him during the Liturgy. Regular communion, which is possible only for a Christian, will strengthen the child’s physical and spiritual strength.

When the family decides to baptize their child, you still shouldn’t put off the most important event in his life for too long. There is another argument in favor of this decision: a baby at the age of 1-2 months is not yet attached to his mother and family, he is not frightened by strangers and extraneous sounds. Throughout the entire Sacrament, the godparents will hold the baby in their arms; an older child may resist this.

Features of christenings for boys and girls

The sacrament of Baptism can be performed on a person who consciously believes in Christian truths. An adult himself testifies to his readiness to unite with Christ and receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is impossible to expect conscious faith from infants. During the Sacrament of Baptism, they must take a vow of fidelity to God and renounce the forces of evil and sin.

Is it possible to baptize them? “Yes, it’s possible,” answers the Orthodox Church. Receivers from the font or godparents are given to the baby at baptism in order to be responsible for him before the Lord not only during the sacrament itself, but also in subsequent earthly and eternal life. Infants are baptized according to their faith and the faith of the parents.

Godparents have a special role in the spiritual education of a child. They make a promise to God to lead the godson through life in a Christian way, to raise him in the spirit of the Orthodox faith. The life of the recipients themselves should be a worthy example of piety and love for God and for others. According to established tradition, a godfather and a godmother are chosen for the child, by analogy with the parents.

However, according to church canons, one thing is enough:

men - for a boy;
women - for girls.

There may even be gender mismatch. However, each such case is considered individually, and the decision is made by the priest. The main thing is that future godparents are full members of the Orthodox Church, know the basics of the Orthodox faith and are ready to raise the child spiritually.

Who cannot be among the godparents according to church rules?

For newborn boys and girls, before choosing adopters, it is necessary to know who can and cannot become them.

The priest will refuse to perform the Sacrament of Baptism if the following are chosen as recipients:

Can godparents be husband and wife or become one in the future? There are no canons prohibiting this in Orthodoxy. In 2017, the Council of Bishops updated the permission for marriages of successors with the blessing of the diocesan bishop. Such permission existed before, but a tradition has developed to prohibit such marriages.

Who can be a godparent for a boy or girl?

The main criterion when choosing recipients is their belonging to Orthodoxy, as well as their church membership - the desire to live in accordance with Christian truths, fight sin, and correct themselves.

The mission of the adoptive parents is to testify before God for their ward about faith, renunciation of Satan, a promise to build their lives according to the commandments of God, and to help their godson or goddaughter fulfill all these promises in the future life.

Spiritual work continues throughout the life of godparents and their godchildren. Prayer for godchildren must be supported by real deeds: take the child to communion, read spiritual literature with him, learn a prayer, explain the foundations of the Orthodox faith.

The Church allows one of the godparents to be of a different Christian faith - Catholic or Protestant, if there is no possibility of finding an Orthodox Christian in the family environment.

A clergyman can become a godparent, but as a rule, they have many responsibilities and will have little free time for full communication with the godson.

Age of majority is an optional but desirable condition. The responsibility that godparents take on in the face of God involves understanding the importance of the role of the godparent and understanding what spiritual mentoring is.

Can godparents be relatives of the child?

The child's relatives, including the closest ones, can be chosen to play the role of recipient. Except for the parents.

Before choosing one of your relatives as your child's adoptive parent, you need to think about this: a few years will pass and the child will grow up. Teenagers are not ready to discuss their problems with their closest relatives; this is the psychology of this age.

They are looking for an authoritative adult outside the family. A godfather could become such a person, help and guide the teenager in the right direction along the Christian path of development. Of course, provided that in all previous years he took an active part in raising his godson, and they developed a trusting relationship.

From this point of view, choosing close relatives for the role of adoptive parents is not always the best solution.

It is right to choose church-going Orthodox Christians who will raise the child in faith and love for God, respect for people.

You need to answer the following questions:

Who can you entrust the body and soul of a child to?
Who will help raise him in faith?
Who can you become spiritually related to?

God-parents They are mentors in the Orthodox faith, and not rare guests with gifts at birthdays. True Christian love is the most valuable gift to godchildren from their godparents, and vital role– to be an example in the organization of Christian life.

How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?

Unbelieving parents can baptize their children. Strictly speaking, the presence of parents is not necessary. In some churches, the priest does not allow parents to attend the Sacrament at all.

Atheists can be godparents for boys and girls

IN Soviet times grandmothers brought their children to be baptized without the participation of atheist parents.

They preserved and remembered the Orthodox faith and hoped for the mercy of God. Having grown up, these children came to God consciously.

Godparents, who can be spiritual educators for boys and girls, take full responsibility for raising a child in the truths of the Gospel.

Their role increases many times over: only they can graft a branch onto the Tree of Life, cultivate the seeds of the Orthodox faith in the soul of the godson.

You can baptize a child even if the parents are of a different faith.

In such situations, first of all, you need to think about the benefits for the child: the parents must have consent to baptism in order to avoid conflicts.

Is it possible to baptize a child without godparents?

Sometimes life situations arise when a child needs to be baptized immediately, for example, if he is in danger of death. A priest can perform the Sacrament of baptism without recipients, so that he can help the child in the struggle for life with the help of the Holy Gifts and the common prayer of the entire Orthodox Church.

In the future, when the baby gets better, you can find people who will become godparents for the child and help the parents spiritually raise the boy or girl. Churched parents can do this on their own.

IN emergency situations Lay people can baptize a baby by saying the Baptismal Prayer. At the first opportunity, the priest will complete what he started, since the process of Baptism consists of several stages and ends with the Sacrament of Confirmation.

Responsibilities of godparents

Godparents have serious responsibilities towards their godchildren in raising them in the traditions of the Orthodox Church:

Godparents renounce sin for the child and undertake obligations for the spiritual education of the godson before God. The Church teaches that at the last judgment He will ask for the upbringing of godchildren in the same way as for the upbringing of his own children.

Now it becomes clear why choosing godparents is a responsible and difficult decision. The connection with them can become stronger than with blood relatives, since it is sanctified by the Lord and based on Christian love.

How can godparents prepare for the Great Sacrament?

For a churchgoer there is nothing special in preparation. Prayer, fasting, confession, communion, reading the Gospel - usual life Christian. Each parish may have its own traditions, so it is worth checking with the church where the baptism will take place whether there are any special requirements for recipients.

In many parishes, so-called public meetings are held for those future godparents who are still little familiar with the life of the Church. The priest explains in detail the main provisions of the Orthodox faith, talks about the Sacrament of Baptism, as well as those parish traditions that relate to baptism.

Godparents, who can be godparents for boys and girls from the font, so as not to approach holy duties formally, must prepare themselves to participate in the upcoming Sacrament:

read at least one Gospel;
carefully study the Creed - it is read out loud during baptism;
if possible, learn “Our Father” - one of the main Christian prayers;
confess and receive communion.

Even if the priest does not require it, it is advisable to take such steps. The duties of godparents require involvement in the Church. Therefore, from this moment the deliverance of the recipients themselves from sinful slavery can begin, the beginning of their new life in Christ and with Christ has been laid. Only then is it possible to fully fulfill the duties of a spiritual mentor.

IN Orthodox church the woman must wear a skirt that covers her knees and cover her head. A man must wear trousers and no headdress.

What should godparents have during a christening?

To perform the Sacrament of Baptism, the priest only needs pectoral cross and the shirt, everything else is a tribute to tradition.

Most often, godparents prepare:

These items are kept throughout life as a shrine. There is no need to wash the kryzhma: if a child gets sick, you can cover the baby with it so that it will help him recover faster.

Does not exist strict rules, who and what prepares for baptism. Different localities and parishes have their own traditions, and they may differ from each other. You need to agree in advance who is responsible for what.

The child’s parents can prepare everything they need themselves. Things sewn or knitted will retain the warmth of the hands and love of the one who created them.

What else to consider before Baptism:

An important question concerns the cost of baptism. The Sacrament of Baptism, like all other Sacraments and rites of the Church, is performed free of charge. As a sign of gratitude, you can donate a certain amount to the temple. You can find out its size at the arrival or determine it yourself.
Usually the child is given a certificate of Baptism, the names of the child and his adoptive parents are written on it, so their documents may be needed.
You need to find out whether it is possible to photograph the Baptism process; not all priests allow this.
The sacrament lasts long enough, the baby will need usual means care

Baptism procedure

Baptism takes place in the temple itself or in a special baptismal room, which can be separate standing building. In fact, these are two separate Sacraments, following each other: Baptism and Confirmation.

The entire procedure lasts about 40 minutes. All this time the baby is in the arms of the recipients, they hand him over to the priest when the ritual requires it.

Godparents, who can be spiritual parents for boys or girls, can familiarize themselves with the Baptism scheme, to imagine how things will happen:

Stages of the Baptism procedure	Actions taking place in the temple
Order of announcement: Three prohibitions against unclean spirits	Special prayers of “prohibitions” are read over the person being baptized.
Renunciation of Satan	The recipient, on behalf of the baby, loudly renounces Satan three times.
Combination of Christ	One of the godparents reads the Creed for the baby.
Sacrament of Baptism: Blessing of water and oil	The priest reads special prayers for consecration, first water, and then oil (oil)
Immersion in the font	The recipient receives the child after the font in Kryzhma. The priest puts a cross on the child.
Vestment of the newly baptized	The recipients put the baptismal shirt on the baby
Sacrament of Confirmation:	Parts of the body are anointed with myrrh, thus giving the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Procession around the font	Godparents with candles and a baby in their arms walk around the font three times.
Reading the Gospel	They listen to the Gospel with candles in their hands.
Washing away the Holy Peace	The priest washes away the remnants of the world.
Hair cutting	The priest cuts off some hair from the baby's head in a cross shape, which he wraps in wax and lowers into the font. This is the first sacrifice to God and a sign of submission to Him.
Churching	The priest walks around the temple with the baby in his arms, and the boys are still brought into the altar.

It is advisable to give the child communion for the first time the next day.

The sacrament of Baptism is the first sacrament that a Christian receives. Without it, the beginning of a new life with Christ and in Christ is impossible, and, therefore, salvation is impossible. A newborn child has not yet done anything wrong, but he inherits the sinful nature of his first parents. He is already on his way to death.

During Baptism, in an incomprehensible way, a person is cleansed from sin, dies to it and is born again in purity, receives hope of salvation and eternal life. This is possible only in connection with the Lord. The Body of Christ is called the Church.

According to its wise arrangement, the Sacrament of Confirmation follows immediately after Baptism. A person receives the mysterious gifts of the Holy Spirit, which will act invisibly in him and strengthen him in his desire to live according to Christ.

Godparents, who can guide boys and girls on the path to eternal life, take responsibility for whether they go forward or stay put. The sacrament of Baptism so far only places the child at the beginning of this road.

Is the magical, magical effect of Baptism possible without faith? The answer to this question is given by the Gospel: “According to your faith, be it done to you” (Matthew 9:29). Where there is true faith, there is no need for superstition.

What to give to a godson or goddaughter?

A christening gift should have a spiritual meaning, be useful for the further upbringing of the child in Orthodox traditions and remind of the day of spiritual birth.

It can be:

Many interesting gifts are sold in church shops. It's not about the cost, but about the spiritual value of the item.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

There are no obstacles for a woman to become a godmother.

It is necessary to evaluate whether she has enough love, kindness and opportunities for two children: her unborn one and the adopted one. Not only spiritual and prayerful help is required from godparents, but also effective help, requiring strength and time.

Is it possible to refuse godparents?

A child cannot refuse such godparents. Godparents may change for the worse and stop fulfilling their responsibilities towards their godson or goddaughter. In such cases, you need to teach the child to pray for their correction. This will become for him a lesson in Christian love and mercy.

If parents still need help in the spiritual upbringing of their child, they can find a pious, church-going person and ask him to take on the responsibilities of a godparent, but he still will not be considered a godparent. For such an agreement it is necessary to obtain the blessing of a priest or confessor, if you have one.

Is it possible to baptize a child for normal upbringing in the faith?

Such a concept as crossing into Orthodox Church No. A person is not born twice, either physically or spiritually, and Baptism is a spiritual birth in Christ.

In order for a child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, the adults around him must live according to the canons of this faith and be an example in a pious Christian life.

The responsibility that falls on godparents is great. Their mission goes beyond the time-bound nature of earthly life. Godparents are those who can be guides to the Kingdom of God for boys and girls.

Article format: Vladimir the Great

Video about children's baptism

What you need to know before baptizing a child:

Baptism is one of the important events in life Orthodox man. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Special attention One should pay attention to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. Therefore, the godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.

The role of a godfather in a child's life

Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:

Show for him worthy example with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
Visiting a temple with your child.
Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
The responsibilities of the godfather also include financial support if necessary (if the parents a difficult situation with money or work).

What do you need to know to choose godparents?

So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.

Of course, the decision about who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at the family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.

It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.

Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.

Who can't be a godfather?

When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:

Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
Parents of the baby.
Those who accepted monasticism.
Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
You cannot take as godparents people who have mental illness.
Those who profess a different faith.

All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most the right step there will be an appeal to a confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. All free time It is advisable to devote time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Present

Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.

It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.

There is one main gift, which should be presented to the baby by his godfather. The responsibilities during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift becomes pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.

For parents, especially for the mother of the baby, a good gift There will be a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family.

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man's joining the church was celebrated with a large number of guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and Best wishes baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where he lived little man, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.

How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather

Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.

The responsibilities of the godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.

The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.

The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.

Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.

So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.

Baptism at home

In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).

After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger (illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place in a home environment, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony was performed in a church.

Church life of new Christians

You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. The first acquaintance with church rules begins with the prayer of one’s own mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.

Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothing (if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on the home iconostasis (if there is one). The candle is used in special cases and they also keep it for life.

The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church with him, take communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.

This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. As you grow older, difficult questions can arise. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.

Conclusion

So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.

Who are godparents? The Holy Father will tell you who can and should not baptize your child.

At Baptism, a child becomes a Christian, a member of the Church, receives God's grace, and must remain with it all his life. He also receives godparents for life. Father Orest Demko knows what you need to know about godparents and take into account at every stage of life.

Who are godparents? What are they for in spiritual and everyday life?

For people, the outward manifestations of godfatherhood are usually obvious. Like, there is someone to visit, someone to treat the child well... This, of course, is not bad at all, but Baptism is a spiritual event, and not just an external ritual.

And although this is a one-time event, it is a unique event, and godfatherhood is not a one-day event. Just as Baptism remains an indelible seal for a person, so, one might say, godfatherhood is not a worn-out sign for life.

What is godfatherhood?

In constant spiritual connection with his godson (goddaughter). Godparents are once and for all included in this significant event in the child’s life.

Among Christians, one often hears the request: “Pray for me.” So godparents are those who always pray for the child, who will constantly keep him in their spiritual care before God. A child should always know that there is someone who supports him spiritually.

Thus, godparents can sometimes be quite far from their godchildren and see them infrequently. But their role is not to see each other periodically with a specific frequency; these are not gifts at least once a year. Their role is daily.

Sometimes the child’s parents may complain that godparents are not fulfilling their duties if they do not visit often enough. But, parents, take a closer look at your godfathers: perhaps they are praying to God every day for your child!

Relationships between godfathers

Whatever they are, what is more important is the relationship between the godparents and the child himself. Natural parents are also required to have correct expectations of godparents and their role in the child’s life. This should not be a material interest. And then, perhaps, a huge number of misunderstandings will disappear.

But what to do if relations between godfathers go wrong?

First of all, you need to figure out why this happened. Or did the parents choose godfathers who do not have the correct understanding of their role? Or are these people who are already prone to destroying relationships and quarreling? Maintaining good friendship with godparents is what both relatives and godparents should try to do. Relatives must remember that their child is entitled to spiritual support from godparents. Therefore, if the natural parents do not allow godfathers to visit the child, this will mean robbing the child, taking away what belongs to him.

Even if godmothers did not visit a child for 3 or 5 years, parents should not be prohibited from doing so in the future. Or maybe it is for the child that understanding or reconciliation will come.

The only reason to protect a child from godparents is objectively misbehavior godfathers, not the right way of life.

How to choose godfathers so as not to regret it later?

These should be the people that parents would like their child to be like. After all, a child can adopt their features, personal qualities. These are people for whom the child himself is not ashamed. And they themselves must also understand their role, to be conscious Christians.

Usually godparents have less time for such preparations than natural parents. Their preparation will be to comprehend this change in their lives, to understand their responsibilities. Because this event is not just another living room and not even just a show of respect for them on the part of the baby’s parents.

Of course, the Church advises to begin confession before this event. Even if this confession does not become an instant conversion or noticeable sanctification for the godparents, a pure heart is the first gift from the godparents to the child. This is the very proof of their true openness.

What should godparents provide in the process of preparing for the Baptism of a child?

Sacrum. This is a simple white cloth that will symbolize the child’s “new clothes” - God’s grace.

Cross. It’s hardly worth buying a gold one; your child won’t wear one like that in the first place. And, perhaps, until a fairly conscious age.

What if godparents don’t know the “I Believe” prayer by heart?

They say this prayer during the Holy Sacrament of Baptism after they renounce evil on behalf of the child and promise to serve God. It contains the whole essence of Christianity, and the godparents in it recognize their faith and seem to outline the path in which to lead the child. The godparents must say it out loud.

But priests understand that godparents may not be too confident in knowing the prayer by heart. Firstly, this is prayer, and prayer books exist precisely so that one can read prayer from them. Secondly, godparents may be worried, confused or focused, for example, on the child himself, especially if he is crying. Therefore, the priest and clerk always recite this prayer quite loudly.

Is it possible to refuse when invited to be godparents?

Since becoming godparents is a set of new responsibilities, it is even a kind of change in a person’s status, this decision must be approached very responsibly. Conscious refusal will be better than not entirely voluntary acceptance of responsibilities. From the point of view of the Church, there is no such requirement to unconditionally accept the invitation of nepotism.

The reasons for refusal may be different: those invited feel that their friendship with the child’s parents is not completely sincere and deep; or they already have a sufficient number of godchildren. If the relationship with parents is imperfect, this may cause misunderstandings in the future. Therefore, invitees should be given time to think.

Approach wisely when choosing godparents for your child - and she will be good mentors and friends for the subsequent stages of her spiritual life: getting used to going to church, first Confession in life, communion.

You have been invited to be godparents. This is a great honor and a great responsibility. What are the responsibilities of the godfather and godmother, what should be done during and after baptism?

Baby baptism. Photo from the site https://dveri.bg/uap64

Main responsibilities of godparents

During the sacrament of baptism, the godparents have the responsibility to vouch for the faith of the baby and subsequently raise him in the Orthodox faith. The child himself does not know anything yet and cannot profess faith, so godparents bring baptismal vows for him. If your faith is not strong enough, you should think seriously before agreeing to take on the responsibilities of a godfather. After all, in the future you will have to answer to God not only for yourself, but also for your godson.

Godparents pray for their godson all their lives. While the child is small, they teach him the Orthodox faith, try to get him to visit church more often, take communion, explain the meaning of worship, talk about saints, icons, Orthodox holidays. When a child becomes a teenager, it is the godparents who must take special care of his moral condition. This explains the choice of godparents - a boy certainly needs a godfather, and a girl needs a godmother; the presence of a second godfather is not mandatory. With a godfather of the same sex, it is easier for a teenager to discuss some personal issues, problems that he may not dare to talk about with his parents.

What godparents must do before the sacrament of baptism

The future godparents, together with the baby's parents, agree on the place and time of baptism. Before the sacrament, you will need to undergo a public conversation, or “interview,” in the church where the baptism will take place. There may be several such conversations. They lay out the basics of the Orthodox faith, which every Christian needs to know.

Who exactly will buy a baptismal set, a pectoral cross and an icon does not make a fundamental difference. If godparents want to give a gift to their godson, they can bear part of the costs themselves.

Some wealthy people order a measured icon - this is an icon painted to order, on a board that corresponds to the height of the baby at birth. It depicts a saint whose name is given to the child.

More often they buy an icon in a church shop: for a boy - the Savior, for a girl - Mother of God. You can choose any icon based on your desires, tastes and means. But it should be borne in mind that this icon will be with the godson all his life. In the old days, it was customary to bless a grown child for marriage with this icon. Entering family life, the bride and groom each brought their own icon with them, and they formed the so-called “wedding pair” of icons. Based on this, it is better to buy not the smallest icon (on which you can barely see the image), but a slightly larger one (usually chosen approximately the size of a book) and in a frame. But, I repeat, there are no hard and fast rules here, and if you are very limited in funds, an expensive icon is not at all an end in itself.

When choosing a cross for a child, you should not buy the tiniest one. It seems very suitable for such a baby, but the baby will grow up, and a tiny cross, especially on a man, will look completely different. It is better to buy a medium-sized cross.

A baptismal set, as a rule, can be bought at a church shop at a temple. It includes a diaper with an embroidered cross, a shirt and a scarf for a girl.

The sacrament of baptism. Photo from the website of photographer Nadezhda Smirnova http://www.fotosmirnova.com/kreschenie

Responsibilities of godparents during baptism

Godparents must know by heart Symbol of faith, which contains all the main truths of Orthodoxy. It will need to be read during the sacrament of baptism:

I believe in one God the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the only begotten, who was born of the Father before all ages; Light from Light, true God from true God, born, uncreated, consubstantial with the Father, to Whom all things were. For our sake, man and our salvation came down from heaven and became incarnate from the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became human. She was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. And he rose again on the third day according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And again the coming one will be judged with glory by the living and the dead, His Kingdom will have no end. And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Life-Giving One, who proceeds from the Father, who with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke the prophets. Into one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. I hope for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century. Amen.

During the sacrament, the godparents hold the baby in their arms (if the child is worried and crying, it is allowed to be held by the mother, there is no violation). The most important moment is when the godfather receives the godson from the font from the hands of the priest. Therefore, godparents are otherwise called godparents. The godfather must receive the boy from the font, and the godmother must accept the girl.

Archpriest Mikhail Vorobyov, rector of the church in honor of the Exaltation of the Precious and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord in the city of Volsk, answers questions about godparents

Is it possible to refuse to participate in Baptism? They say that if you refuse to be a godfather, then you refuse the cross.

Of course, it is not worth giving up the cross that the Lord gives to every person to strengthen his spiritual strength. Yes, this is impossible, because, refusing one cross, a person immediately receives a new one, which most often turns out to be heavier than the previous one. However, the duties of godparents can hardly be considered a moral test from which it is a sin to refuse.

The very name “godparents” (in the rite of the sacrament of Baptism they are called more neutrally - godparents) shows that their responsibilities are very serious. They consist in caring for the correct spiritual development of the godson, in his upbringing in accordance with the moral principles of the Orthodox faith. Godparents guarantee before God that their godson or daughter will grow up to be a decent, worthy, believing person, that he or she will feel the need to live a full church life. In addition, godparents are obliged to help their godchildren with ordinary everyday needs, to provide them not only spiritual, but also material assistance.

If some circumstances do not allow you to confidently accept such responsibility, if there is no sincere love in your heart for the intended godson, it is better to refuse the honorary offer to become a godfather.

Two years ago, my relatives asked me to become a godmother. Now they demand gifts from me, tell me where and what I need to buy, without asking what my current financial situation is, what I can or cannot buy. What should I do?

Perhaps we should remind our godfathers of the Russian proverb: “Stretch your legs according to your clothes.” By becoming a godmother, you, first of all, accepted the responsibility to raise your godson in the spirit of Christian values. These, by the way, include moderation in meeting material needs. Try to conscientiously fulfill this basic duty: teach your child to pray, read the Gospel with him, explaining its meaning, attend divine services. Gifts, especially those that bring spiritual benefit and delight the child, are, of course, also a good thing. But you did not undertake any obligation to fully replace your natural parents. In addition, another proverb is true: “There is no judgment.”

Can my sister, whose son I baptized, become the godmother of my child?

Maybe. There are no canonical obstacles to this.

My husband and I are not married. But we became godparents of our relative, who was baptized as an adult. I didn’t immediately get into the ritual, but then I found out that it wasn’t possible. And now our marriage is falling apart. What to do?!

The circumstance you are talking about can under no circumstances be grounds for divorce. On the contrary, try to save your marriage. If this fails, together with ex-husband continue to diligently fulfill your duties as godparents.

What should the child’s parents do if his godfather has forgotten about his godson and does not fulfill his duties? How to proceed?

If the godfather is a relative or close friend of the family, it is worth reminding him of the responsibility that he bears before God for the correct Christian upbringing of his godson. If the godfather turned out to be random, and even not a church person at all, you should only blame yourself for a frivolous attitude towards the choice of a successor.

In this case, the parents themselves must diligently do what the godfather is obliged to do: raise the child in the spirit of Christian piety, accustom him to participate in divine services, and introduce him to the cultural wealth of the Orthodox Church.

Can I adopt my godson's child?

You can; There are no canonical obstacles to the adoption of a godson.

We decided to take relatives as our son’s godparents: our baby’s uncle and cousin, between them they are father and daughter. Please clarify, is this allowed? Let me explain that the choice was made consciously, and these are the people, in my opinion, who can be spiritual mentors for our child.

Your choice is quite acceptable if the intended godmother is not a minor child. After all, adoptees take on adult responsibility; they are obliged to raise their godson in the spirit of Christian values, which means they themselves must know what these values are, love the Church, worship, and live a church life.

Is it possible, being already godfather the eldest child in the family, and also become the godfather of the youngest?

If the godfather responsibly and conscientiously fulfills his duties towards his godson, then he may well become a godfather for his godson. younger brother (Bulgakov S.V. Desk book clergyman. M., 1913. P. 994).

Please tell me whether siblings can be godparents. And one more thing: can a 12-year-old girl be a godmother?

Siblings can be godparents of the same child. A twelve-year-old girl can also become a godmother only if she was raised in Orthodox tradition, has a strong faith, knows the doctrine of the Church and understands the godfather’s responsibility for the fate of his godson.

Are there dogmatic or canonical obstacles to nepotism between spouses; in other words, can my wife and I become godparents to our friends’ child? Can godfathers and godfathers who were not married at the time of Baptism subsequently become husband and wife? I heard that in the Church there is no consensus about this.

Article 211 of the Nomocanon prohibits a husband and wife from being children of the same child. However, some decrees of the highest ecclesiastical authority of the Russian Orthodox Church (see about this: Bulgakov S.V. A clergyman's handbook. M., 1913. P. 994) cancel the specified requirement of Nomocanon. In the current situation, in my opinion, one should adhere to the more ancient tradition, especially since in the Russian Orthodox Church it for a long time was considered the only correct one. In the case where the child’s parents absolutely desire to have their spouses as their adoptive parents, they should submit a corresponding petition to the Ruling Bishop of the diocese in which the sacrament of Baptism is supposed to be performed.

Recipients of the same child who were not married at the time of Baptism are not considered to be spiritually related. Therefore, in the future they can enter into legal marriage without any obstacles ( Bulgakov S.V. Handbook of a clergyman. M., 1913. P. 1184).

In fairness, it should be noted that there is an opposite opinion on this matter, which was held, for example, by St. Philaret of Moscow. If a priest refuses to marry the successors of the same child, one should also contact the Ruling Bishop of the diocese where the wedding is expected to take place.

Can the godfather have other godchildren?

It is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, when inviting a godfather for your child, you should think about whether he can adequately fulfill his duties, whether he has enough love, mental strength and material resources for the proper Christian upbringing of his godson.

At my cousin 10 years ago, a son was born with a congenital heart defect. The doctors said that the situation was bad, and the sister decided to baptize him right in the hospital. She was lying in a special box, where no one except doctors was allowed. Only the priest was allowed in to baptize the child. I was only told later that I was registered as a godfather. Later, in Moscow, the child underwent surgery, he got back on his feet, thank God. And in January, my friend’s son was born, and he invited me to become godfather. Can I be a godfather?

I repeat, it is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, it should be remembered that the responsibilities of godparents are very serious. Baptism is church sacrament, in which Divine grace itself operates. Therefore, you were not just “registered” as a godparent, perhaps without your knowledge, but you were given responsibility for the correct Christian upbringing of your godson. Having several godchildren is quite difficult. But, if you feel love for these children, the Lord will give you mental strength and the opportunity to become a worthy godfather for them.

Newspaper " Orthodox faith» No. 7 (459), 2012