Stages of self-development Self-development is your advantage! What is personal self-development and how to start developing.

Self-development is a process, and like any process, self-development is necessary to achieve a certain goal. The peculiarity of self-development is that goals always change, depending on the level of awareness, ability to take risks, self-discipline, self-confidence... All these criteria determine what goal we set for ourselves and how soon we will achieve this goal.

Personal self-development can be divided into several steps, we will talk about them below, but now let’s think about what motivates us, what forces us to get up and follow this interesting, sometimes difficult path of self-development.

So, as soon as we come into this world, we are surrounded by adults, our parents, perhaps brothers or sisters, grandparents. And, one way or another, they are older, stronger, smarter, wiser than us. And we unconsciously, sometimes consciously, compare ourselves with them, and this comparison is always not in our favor.

And it is at this moment, when we are faced with the fact that we are in some way “worse” than the people around us, that a complex of insufficiency, described in detail by A. Adler, arises in us. In an effort to overcome this complex of insufficiency, we begin to engage in self-development.

The process of self-discovery

The first step in self-development is the process of self-discovery. We strive to identify ourselves in this world, position ourselves in our mental coordinate system, in relation to our idols, ideals, work colleagues, members of our family (both parental and the family that we have already created), religion, spiritual teachers and mentors... In general, we are looking for the answer to the question “who am I in this world?” This search can last a moment, but it can drag on for many years.

I have some shortcomings

The second step is to admit to myself that I have some shortcomings that lead me to undesirable consequences and results in life. And here it is very important role self-acceptance plays. If we accept ourselves, then no problems arise with an objective view of the surrounding reality.

And we understand where we are and what (who) surrounds us. We may not like it, but we understand that it is so. As soon as our level of self-acceptance decreases, we begin to justify ourselves, to find people who, in our opinion, are “worse” than us. And this allows us not to change anything in our lives. And, therefore, the process of self-development ends.

And how I would like it to be

The third step comes if we do not give up, and openly look at our shortcomings (here it is important to understand that this is only our own subjective assessment of what are our shortcomings and what are our strengths), and begin to think about how I would like it to be . If not, then how? Often many people stop at this step.

Because we know how much we DO NOT WANT, but we don’t even think about what we WANT. And then we begin to complain about how bad our lives are, because we are surrounded by everything we don’t want and what we are trying to avoid (you can understand why this happens after watching the movie The Secret, everything is described in detail there). In this context, it is important for us to avoid the victim state and not shift responsibility for the cause of our dissatisfaction to others.

How to achieve the desired result

The fourth step is to see what ways I can achieve the desired result. What do I need to do to become what I want? And here on our way we can meet people, books, films, trainings that show different options and ways to achieve our goal.

And the help of other people is effective provided that we have already completed the first 3 steps on our own. Otherwise, it will turn out that we realize and justify other people’s expectations about us, about how they would like to see us, and this is far from self-development.

And perhaps you will get by without the help of others, and this is completely normal. However, when it comes to the need to consider as much as possible different options, then a detached, independent look is very useful.

And avoid those people who will insist on their opinion as the only true one, always reserve the right to choose and the right to doubt that the words and ideas of another person (or group of people) are one hundred percent correct. It may be true for them, but it doesn't matter to you. (However, like this article - perhaps these are just someone’s ideas that will not cause any response from you)

Steps to achieving your goal

And the last, fifth step is action. We make any efforts, take steps to achieve the goal that we set for ourselves in the 3rd step.

And at the end, we again move on to step number 1. We again begin to evaluate what we have achieved, what we are capable of, what place we occupy relative to those around us. And in fact, the process of self-development is endless; there will always be ideals to which we strive, in comparison with which we are not satisfied with our situation.

And this process stops either at the moment of death (which has not yet been proven), or at the moment when we stop believing in ourselves, in our strengths, our goal seems unattainable, and we stop, but only for a while...

Many people talk about the need to study. The issue of youth education comes up all the time. But what do people do when they finish educational establishments? Who should take care of their further development, and is this necessary at all? What skills should you develop as an adult? What knowledge and skills are important?

The answer is that it is necessary to develop. Who is responsible for this? - We ourselves. Therefore, the process of further personality development is self-development, which is much more difficult, because there are no more teachers. There is only one criterion – efficiency. How to achieve results on your own? We'll talk about this in this article.

What is self-development?

Self-development is continuous work on oneself, improving everyone, forming necessary qualities personality. It is precisely because a person engages in self-development on his own that so many difficulties arise along this path. No one government agency is not responsible for such services. This is not taught in schools or universities. The maximum they can give there is homework or titles of books for extracurricular preparation.

Even this stops with graduation. No one is responsible for the person anymore. Many “teachers” and self-development sites pursue completely different goals than simply helping a person in his desire to improve. What to do in this case? – Search by trial and error, listen to your inner voice, critically analyze the information received. And, to make it easier to understand how well the advice and recommendations correspond to real needs, we will present the basic principles of self-development.

Principles of self-development

To understand whether the right path has been chosen, it is worth understanding what it involves. What components complement the process of self-development. What sensations or feelings overwhelm a person if he moves in in the right direction. So, 12 principles of self-development.

The main goal of working on oneself is harmony;
The feeling of happiness is in the person himself, and not from his fame or abundance of money;
You should develop a positive type of thinking;
Everyone is responsible for their own life;
Self-development involves working on yourself;
Learning is an important attribute of development;
Objectives must be set as achievable and realistic;
The causes of problems or failures lie in the people themselves;
A person is capable of changing if he wants to;
Emotions are controllable and can be managed;
Self-development is not an easy path, but it is the only correct one;
There is no need to try to become better than others, in the future you need to become better than your current self.

This process should not be confused with studying or professional growth, which is not always chosen by a person. Society tends to impose stereotypes and clichés, but it is up to the individual whether to follow them or not.

Personal self-development presupposes improvement on the path to its or. All steps along this path should bring positive emotions and give joy. Of course, there may be an “internal struggle” or reassessment of values, but such moments should not be drawn out over time, otherwise the person will drive himself into depression before achieving his goals. Don’t forget that the result of self-development is harmony and happiness. These sensations are not associated with specific material goods. They depend on the totality of all components that are significant for a person, which will be discussed further.

Self-development and the Wheel of Life Balance

According to the teaching about, it is necessary to develop or maintain at a good level eight main areas:

Success at work or in business;
Monetary well-being;
Physical and mental health;
Spiritual development;
Communication with family, close friends;
Relationships with a partner;
Complete rest;
Personal development.

Some self-development sites can modify the structure of the Wheel of Life Balance, replacing individual points with “Solving everyday issues” or “Establishing communication in society.” But these are all details that do not change the overall picture. One should strive for harmony in each of the eight basic directions. Most often, people try to succeed in two or three areas of life, devoting less time to others, or even neglecting them altogether. For some time this may bring joy and satisfaction with one’s successes, but then a person becomes depressed and feels “out of place.”

It is a widespread phenomenon that people put all their efforts into building a career or developing a business, forgetting about everything and everyone. Sometimes they really achieve results in this, but looking back from the “height of their pedestal,” they sadly realize that they are absolutely alone, without family and friends. Or the diametrically opposite case, when someone devotes himself entirely to his husband/wife, and after a divorce he realizes that he cannot do anything except the role of a housewife.

To avoid such cases, any self-respecting website about self-development advises its readers to develop in all possible directions, so that the insufficient level of one skill does not subsequently overshadow the joy of success in another. What steps need to be applied in the process of personal improvement will be discussed in the next section.

Main stages of self-development

Any program or self-development plan involves movement “from” to “to”. Of course, important components of this process are goal setting, planning, and motivation. It is necessary to clearly understand what we want, imagine the stages of achieving it, and also stimulate ourselves to realize our plans. For example, our target– knowledge in English. – enroll in courses, successfully complete them, and then pass a qualifying exam. Motivation – the opportunity to do business with the involvement of foreign investors. A similar analogy can be applied to any case where self-improvement, self-development or self-education takes place. But not everything is as smooth in practice as it might seem in theory.

Do not forget that self-development is most often resorted to by adults who overflowing with cargo previous experience and knowledge. They were formed for decades under the influence of the same ideals or principles, and then they suddenly realized their inconsistency and decided to re-educate. Not so. are so firmly “eaten” into the subconscious that any self-development program must include a certain period of adaptation to a new vector of movement.

This is kind of reminiscent Flask principle, which is the basis of any professional training or adult education. It consists of providing an experience that literally “unsettles” a person and turns his worldview upside down. Next comes the comprehension stage. Then formation theoretical basis and application in practice.

Self-development works in a similar way. A person encounters something that goes beyond his usual picture of the world. He reflects on this and comes to the conclusion that he needs to relearn. Collects the necessary theoretical base, introducing it into your life.

For example, someone is absolutely dismissive of social networks, considering them a waste of time. This man has his own business. Let's say it's a small bakery. One day a blogger comes to him and writes several articles on his page about delicious pastries. Literally the next day the number of visitors increases. The bakery owner realizes it's time to take a more serious look at the possibilities. social networks starting to study this topic. He reads topical publications and watches training videos. After theoretical basis formed, he creates a page for his bakery and begins to carefully fill it with news. This is one of the examples of self-development of an adult who personal experience felt the need to reconsider his views and judgments.

An effective self-development technique called “ One minute method", borrowed from the Kaizen philosophy. It lies in the fact that one minute a day is enough to develop any new skill. For example, to force yourself to do push-ups, you should spend one minute on this exercise. The next day - another one. Every other day, add a second in a minute, then a third. After a week it will be about five to seven minutes. Gradually the skill will be developed, the body will adapt, push-ups will become good habit, which will no longer cause mental discomfort. This is thanks to just one minute of time in the first stages of self-development.

The process can be started by a self-development site that will offer the reader such a convincing alternative that he will certainly want to use it. The main thing is that all this advice is based on real experience and does not lead a person into the world of guesses or assumptions. It is also important that the information arrives exactly at the time when they are ready to perceive it.. When this condition is met, a “spark” appears that “ignites” enthusiasm or the desire to develop. But there are factors that can “extinguish” a noble impulse. You should know these enemies by sight, avoiding them in every possible way.

Obstacles to self-development

In addition to things that help in human development, there are many factors that can slow down this process, or even reverse it. These include the following threats to self-development:

Ignorance – distortion of information, failure to accept obvious facts;
– passivity, unwillingness to do anything;
Habits are ingrained patterns of behavior that prevent you from accepting new things;
Fear – fear of leaving your comfort zone;
Lack of independence - following other people's rules or norms.

In fact, these “attributes” do not depend on a person’s intellectual or physical development. Thus, an academician can be riddled to the core with outdated views, but any schoolchild will instantly see the grain of rationality. The two-meter tall guy will be afraid to go on stage, and the miniature girl will receive a flurry of applause. Self-development, first of all, depends on spiritual strength and vital energy person. Therefore, it is necessary to develop your strong-willed qualities, which will help you make a qualitative “leap” in development. To consolidate theory into practice, here is effective plan personal self-development, which covers all spheres of human life.

Self-development plan

To harmonize your inner world and the surrounding space, it is advisable to perform the following daily tasks that will help you find yourself and choose the right path:

Early rise (6-7 am);
Contrast shower and exercises;
A complete breakfast, rich in vitamins and microelements;
Spiritual practice, affirmations, yoga;
Rejection of bad habits;
Following your calling;
Development of professional skills and abilities;
New knowledge and experience;
Building the right relationships with people around you;
Improving moral and volitional qualities;
Developing your femininity or courage;
Quality rest and recuperation.

If a person pays attention to each item on this list every day, then he will be able to maintain the right balance between his spiritual, intellectual and physical development.

In a dynamic world that changes faster than a person adapts to it, it is extremely important to find yourself, choose your life path. Self-development helps with this, which is “launched” in response to the “emptiness” that arises from a lack of understanding of one’s calling and purpose. That's why it's so important to pay attention to it. Do not perceive it as a fad of people who have nothing to do, but realize that self-improvement is the shortest path to a happy life.

Self-improvement is a separate aspect of psychology, a science that does not have exact solutions. To understand it, an empty theory and unsupported facts are not enough - what is important here is the process that gives rise to the result. Where to start self-development?

There comes a time in every person's life when he realizes that it is time to step out of his comfort zone and take action. The starting point is a component of the trajectory of the human path to self-development: internal and external. In the struggle for individuality, it is necessary to discard such concepts as fear, uncertainty, embarrassment, although they will be present and mislead you from time to time.

The key to success is regulated thoughts

A guarantee of victory over yourself is a precise plan that you will stick to. How to start changes for the better?

First you need to sensibly evaluate the current situation. Psychologists advise you to stand in front of the mirror and talk frankly with your other self. Who you are? What do you want and what do you have? Set yourself goals and start achieving them.

Write your wishes on a piece of paper. Create 55 goals that you must achieve in six months.
Review your social circle. Maintain contact with successful people, learn new knowledge from them. It is inherent in nature that a person subconsciously begins to conform to his environment.
Change the pictures not only in your head, but also before your eyes. Travel, look for unique places that captivate you with their history.
Read! Knowledge is a power that prevails over the mind. To start, choose 15 books. After reading each of them, do brief analysis, highlight important points.
Don't make the same mistake twice.
Try to make a discovery for yourself every day. It doesn't matter whether it's a piano lesson or a hike in the mountains. The main thing is to do what you morally could not afford before.
Keep a diary in which you will record achievements and failures, thoughts, experiences, joyful moments.

It is a well-known fact that a person must constantly strive for more, otherwise he will come to personal degradation. Impossible for a long time being content with what you have is a sign of weakness and lack of desire to live and develop to the fullest.

Self-development affects all aspects of life, both public and personal. A person striving for excellence must:

Achieve compliance between internal and external state. Express your emotions, think through the details to the smallest detail. External image is a reflection of individuality, a way of self-expression. It is impossible to achieve success in social or professional field if you experience external discomfort.
Keep track of your Unexpectedly? This point relates to the first, because a feeling of comfort gives a feeling of security, strength and new opportunities.
Conquer yourself. You should not pay attention to others, look for idols for yourself. The essence of self-development is to be better than you were yesterday!
Be prepared for failure. The most valuable thing in your struggle is the experience gained, which develops into wisdom. Mistakes teach you to value time, money, knowledge and feelings.

The formula “happiness = success” is one of the starting points of development. Why do we strive for more, comprehend new facets? A successful result gives a feeling of happiness. You only get this feeling when you are satisfied with yourself.

How does work interfere with development?

An integral part of self-improvement is success in professional activity. There is no person who does not want to reach heights in their career. But everyday life dictates its own rules.

When you are young, you dream about future profession, imagine how your dream business will appear. It is dreams and desires that stimulate active development and constant progress. Often, after working in one place for many years, people bring their actions to the point of automatism, and they lose inspiration and excitement. Why waste energy if it's so good?

It is the constrained possibilities of the work process that give rise to a lack of zeal for excellence. The same everyday life, the simple life of an ordinary person - all this becomes the normal rhythm of life for the average resident. He stops dreaming and wanting more.

When assessing a personality, psychologists analyze the way he talks about his work, what he means by the concept of “work”, becomes decisive factor in the chosen development model. You can't become successful if you go for workplace without inspiration. Remember, every day should be victorious, fruitful and, in part, decisive.

Making a list of needs

For an individual, there is a list of specified goals. But there are things that everyone needs. In science, there are two categories: things without which it is difficult to live and without which it is impossible.

The first type includes material goods in the form of a car, an apartment, comfortable conditions and entertainment items. The second category includes food, air, hygiene.

To live in complete harmony, you must constantly feel a sense of comfort, confidence and security. Look at your life from the outside and start taking action, write on paper what you want to buy next year. It can be:

Car (replacement of old one).
Apartment.
Vacation home.
New household appliances.
Vacation abroad.

Don't forget to give gifts to your loved ones. The gratitude you receive in return enhances your sense of self and increases your inner level of self-awareness. Greed is a vice that prevents you from moving forward.

Get angry at yourself

An effective technique developed by a Hungarian psychologist has helped thousands of people surpass themselves. The point is that you should not accept yourself as you are - this is for the weak. You shouldn't miss what you get wages, available external data, knowledge.

Criticize yourself! Be strict when evaluating your work report. Looking in the mirror, you find a couple of extra pounds. Work for results, trying to surpass yourself every time.

At first it will seem unusual to you, but you will not notice how others will begin to admire you and follow your example.

Before you start changing your life for the better, take a break. Embark on an interesting journey, where you will have time to reflect and evaluate the path you have traveled. An important skill is to collect thoughts and generate them in in the right direction. Mental comfort and harmony, positive attitude, are the components of success.

A modern person is a successful person. He is handsome, healthy and well-built, knows exactly what he wants, loves and knows how to do something important that brings benefit to others, and gives him both moral satisfaction and income. We begin to develop such a picture under the influence of modern media, the rhythm of our lives, requests and desires.

However, comparing themselves with this image, many remain dissatisfied - one does not correspond to the other. Therefore, a person comes to the conclusion that he needs to change himself, but often does not know where to start, what this notorious personal growth is.

Self-development - what is it?

Speaking about self-development, we will try to formulate as simply as possible what this means. To do this not an easy task preferred by people who want to change their lives in better side and they do it. Most of us already have an ideal image of ourselves - fit, active and successful person with an excellent sense of humor, who does what he loves. But, thinking about where to start the process of self-improvement, many fall into a stupor, postponing and postponing it until later.

Self-development involves a qualitative improvement in any aspect of life, personal growth. Probably no one will be able to change everything in one fell swoop. Firstly, there are not enough resources for this - after all, each of us has important, but uninteresting things to do, from which it is simply impossible to escape. Secondly, a person is always afraid of sudden and cardinal changes, and anyone will give up before the picture of a complete reshaping of life. Therefore, it would be correct to start metamorphoses for the better from one area in which we feel “blocked”.

Initiate change: how?

Many people think that starting the process of change and personal growth requires a huge amount of time, money, talent and other opportunities, which they simply do not have. Therefore, a person either postpones this event, or ruins his mood every day, scolding himself for weak character and laziness.

But before that, it is important to analyze which area needs immediate growth first.

Sphere of the Human Spirit. Personal growth is, first of all, understanding your shortcomings. Changing yourself in this area means trying to get rid of anger and stop gossiping and settling scores, and changing your own attitude towards others for the better. They say that around a bright person the world becomes kinder.
Financial side of life. Which of us is satisfied with our income and does not want it to grow? However, the root cause is usually the individual’s dissatisfaction with the place and activity where he has to do his daily work. Ask yourself - are you really satisfied with your profession, position, corporation? It very often happens that no. But not everyone can simply quit their job or immediately change it to a better one. Therefore, you can start by attending trainings, courses or seminars, studying online, submitting a resume to other companies, while remaining working in the same place. Many people want to start their own business but are afraid of failure. Changing this situation gradually is the most reasonable solution. Find out what documents and conditions are important in this area, and what exactly it will cost you to open your own business.
Social sphere. Often, when communicating out of habit, we do not attach due importance to it, but it’s worth starting to do so. Think about whether the people you are talking to are really pleasant and necessary to you? Do you have comrades who pull you back, envy you, pour negativity on you with constant complaints? Ask yourself, why did problems appear in the family? Maybe you are the one to blame for this, paying little attention to your spouse, parents or children? To make sense of all this and continue your personal growth, it’s good to start keeping a journal. You can make a diagram or table for yourself, point by point what needs to be done in this area, and what you would like to get rid of. Such a " road map“will clarify the situation and begin changes for the better.
The sphere of intellectual growth of the individual. It relates to the development of attention and memory, deepening one’s own knowledge, abstract and creative thinking, which is necessary in any, even the most pragmatic, activity. Where to start to change for the better in this area? The most important way of gaining knowledge and education for thousands of years is the book. Having trained yourself to spend 20 minutes in the evening not in front of the TV or wandering on social networks, but actually reading interesting material, you will increase literacy, deepen lexicon and simply calm your nerves.

Productive - little by little

It is impossible to change yourself once and for all at an accelerated pace. We lose some skills, living conditions and circumstances change, and our body requires constant care and work on itself. Do it little by little, but regularly - main principle, capable of changing the internal and external in oneself for the better, which is what we all desire. Here are examples of such small activities that can move mountains and initiate great changes in oneself:

Do 15-20 squats twice a day.
in Week.
Change your habit of eating chocolate after lunch. Instead, use some seasonal fruit.
Turn off the TV for 20 minutes in the evening and just talk to your children.
Divide your apartment into small areas and cleaning one of them a day is also one of the manifestations of personal growth.
Go to English or Spanish courses, because you have dreamed of this since your student years.
Download video classes for the type of fitness that you like - stretching, yoga or incendiary Zumba - and perform one small complex per day.
Before breakfast, drink a glass of water with a spoonful of honey dissolved in it.
Walk before bed with your spouse for 15 minutes.

You can change your life for the better right from this moment. To do this, it is important to get up and do some small but important thing that will raise your self-esteem. Don't forget to praise and motivate yourself. Start only with those things that are truly interesting to you. In this case, self-improvement will take over you, changing your life and opening up new, unexplored horizons.

Boris Akunin

Did you know, Dear friends, that one of the most sublime human needs is self-development? I’m sure you know, or at least feel it, and that’s why you showed interest in this topic. Yes, this is indeed a very strong need, inherent in all people without exception from birth. It is thanks to self-development that many people find meaning in life and achieve simply outstanding results in a variety of areas. And this is not surprising, because self-development is a person’s work on himself, with the goal of making himself better, if not in all, then at least in many respects. And the better you become, the more you can do in this life to achieve success in what is important to you. And in general, self-development is very interesting. Friends, I want to confess to you that I have deep respect for people who show interest in such things as self-development, self-improvement, self-knowledge, self-education, self-training, self-discipline and other similar topics. I am pleased to work with such people and for such people. Because I also want to become better than I am now. I always wanted this and always worked in this direction. Let's do this together now. And for this, let’s look at how you can and how you should engage in self-development in order to receive not only benefit from this process, but also great pleasure.

First of all, I want to say that the very fact that you are reading this article is already a great achievement for you. The point, of course, is not the article itself, although I will try to make it very high quality and useful for you, the point is your interest in this topic. After all, self-development begins from the moment a person pays attention to himself in order to identify himself in this world, in order to realize his strengths and weak sides to decide what he wants to become. This is a process of self-knowledge, the purpose of which is a person’s search for himself in this world. And you have already done this, you, firstly, found yourself, and secondly, you decided that the one you understand as your own “I” needs to change, and not just change, but improve. This is a good start, this is the right beginning - this is the beginning of self-development. Any person, if he pays attention to himself, sooner or later can discover in himself some, not so much shortcomings, we all have enough of them, but, let’s say, not very good developed qualities which he considers poorly developed because he compares himself with other people. After all, everything is known by comparison, or almost everything. We cannot know how developed we are without comparing ourselves with other people.

But you don’t have to tell yourself that you are somehow worse than other people in order to want to develop yourself, if this does not so much motivate you to work on yourself as it suppresses you and forces you to give up. All you have to do is want to become a better person, being inspired by the merits of other people, without thinking about your own shortcomings. Let them, other people, especially successful people whom you sincerely admire, serve you good example of what a person can become. This will give you faith that you can become like that, and even better, because you are human too. And at a certain stage of his development, a person begins to compare himself not with other people, but with himself in the past, using this as motivation for self-development. So it all starts with you paying attention to yourself and thinking about what kind of person you are and what kind of person you want to become. You did it by starting to read this article. But we need to move on, we need to understand the meaning of self-development, so as not to engage in this business, so to speak, blindly.

The meaning of self-development

Let's ask ourselves a question - what is the point of engaging in self-development if ultimately we will all come to the same end, regardless of the level of our development and the results achieved in life? I know this is a question many people ask when talking about their lives. In fact, there may not be any such pronounced meaning in self-development, as, indeed, in everything else that we do in our lives, if we proceed from the above position. We all really have the same ending. But if you think about it, then most likely the whole point is that we simply do not know about this meaning. How can we, for example, know why our Universe exists at all, why we appeared in it, and how our existence will ultimately end? All these are questions that any person can run into when discussing the meaning of anything. Therefore, I cannot tell you with complete confidence why you need to engage in self-development, and what is the point of it, if we proceed from the idea that sooner or later everything in this world will cease to exist, at least in the form in which it exists now.

But I believe that self-development itself can become for you the meaning of your life, precisely in this life. Why not? Why not use this life to get the most out of it that you can? After all, there may also be no point in not doing this. Right? What's the point in not engaging in self-development? What is the point in being lazy, going with the flow, being mediocre, afraid of everything, dreaming of nothing, doing nothing, striving for nothing? You don’t know this meaning either, right? But nevertheless, some people choose one path in their lives, while others choose another. And everyone lives their life as they see fit to live it. So maybe you can just make this choice - either in favor of self-development, or in favor of not doing it?

Desire to develop

Let's now think about something else, also very interesting question– why do we want to do something, for example, engage in self-development, but don’t want to do something? Where do our desires come from anyway? Self-development is independent development, where independence is of key importance. But this desire to develop ourselves comes to us gradually. At first, any person learns and develops under the influence of external coercion, that is, with the help of other people who help him, so to speak, take the right path in life. If, of course, they help him with this. It is other people who serve as an example for us of how a person can live in general, showing us either a good or a bad example. A lot in our lives depends on this, you see, including the desire to develop.

If a person shows interest in the process of constant development, often thanks to other people, less often in spite of them, and becomes addicted to it, then he himself will be able to continue to teach and develop himself in the way he needs, and constantly, throughout his life. Therefore, it is so important, very important, to surround yourself with people as much as possible who can become good role models for you. It is their influence on you that will largely determine your attitude towards such things as self-development. Of course, we all have our own head on our shoulders, but what thoughts will prevail in it very much depends on our environment.

Let's take, for example, a type of activity such as reading, which very well contributes to the development of a person - it helps him gain new knowledge, develops his thinking, makes him more intelligent. You need to get addicted to reading, you just need to love this activity, and then you will never stop doing it, you will never stop reading. You will always and everywhere try to read something to occupy your time, to learn something new. You will develop yourself through reading. The same is true with self-development in general. You only need to fall in love with this business, with this process, once, and then you will never stop loving it. Because developing yourself is pleasant and interesting. This process gives much more pleasure than, say, smoking, drinking alcohol, gambling and other, let's be honest, nonsense that some people do. So you just need to accustom yourself to self-development, just once make the necessary efforts to become addicted to this activity, if other people have not helped you with this, and then in the future the desire to develop yourself will only grow stronger in you. Even if the usefulness and interest of this activity is not yet obvious to you, and you do not yet feel pleasure from it, it is already taking over your consciousness, making you understand that you need to do this, you need to develop yourself. Because other people do it and they like it. So you might like it too.

On initial stage It is entirely acceptable, and even necessary, for the reason stated above, to have someone help you fall in love with self-development. Some person whom you trust, whom you like, whom you will listen to if he begins to advise you something, should become a guide for you in truly amazing world people who engage in self-development and self-improvement with great pleasure and receive fabulous pleasure from this activity. After all, what is self-development, from the point of view of human activity, is the acquisition of new knowledge, skills and abilities, this physical development body, this is the development of thinking, this is the ability to manage one’s inner world and everything else that is connected with the improvement of a person, or everything that is in a person, it will be more correct. It is quite obvious that for such work on oneself, a person may need a mentor, a teacher, an adviser who will help him take the first steps in this difficult task. After all, to engage in self-development means to use all the means at your disposal to improve yourself, including other people.

Motivation for self-development

Let's now look at what motivation for self-development can be in our lives, based on the influence that external factors have on us. I think the most important thing in self-development, from the point of view of motivation, is emotions. It is they, as a rule, who encourage us to this very self-development. Emotions release our energy, forcing us, at a minimum, to want something very much, or not want it, depending on what kind of emotion it is, and, at a maximum, to do something. And anything can cause them, even, as mentioned above, other people, even circumstances, even our own thoughts. And at the same time, it doesn’t really matter what emotions force us to take care of ourselves, the main thing is that, while under their influence, we actually do something. Pay your attention to what turns you on, what forces you to move, to learn something, to strive for something. All this can be a good motivation for self-development for you. So educate yourself. Something must worry you, something very good or very bad. Or both. You can either want to get something, achieve something, achieve something, or get rid of something - from work, from people you don’t like, from a hard life, from your own shortcomings that poison your life, and so on. etc. Sometimes, when a person has no desires at all, when he can’t even set any goal for himself, because he doesn’t know what he wants, it won’t hurt him to make his life a little worse in order, firstly, to stir himself up, and secondly secondly, to realize the values that he already has and does not want to lose, and to preserve which he needs to comply certain requirements. In other words, look for opportunities to evoke strong emotions in yourself so that they motivate you to self-development. In general, life often throws us such problems that, as they say, you can’t relax, so it seems to me that many people have the motivation to become stronger, in the broad sense of the word.

We are constantly being controlled either negative emotions, or positive, the only question is how we react to them. Some people are overwhelmed by negative emotions, so they do nothing, no matter how bad and uncomfortable they feel. And for others, even very strong positive emotions cannot force them to do something, because either it is difficult for them to cope with their laziness, or they simply do not believe in own strength, that they can achieve something. And there are also people who are simply indifferent to everything, who don’t care how they live. All these character traits have their own reasons - depression, laziness, and indifference to everything. This means that any of these problems can be dealt with. This is the task of a psychologist - to help you understand yourself. The main thing is that you are “alive”, that is, show great interest in life and be active. If you feel very bad, you should want to feel better. And don’t justify your suffering by saying that other people may have it even worse than you. And if you feel good, you should want to feel even better, you should strive for what will give you great pleasure. You need to train yourself to strive for victories in order to develop yourself with passion, with sparkle in your eyes, with interest. It attracts people - the high from success, from achievements, from victories - it is a very strong drug. And most importantly, it is a useful drug that does not kill, but improves a person.

At the same time, I want to emphasize once again that it is important to be able to use any emotions to motivate self-development. Some people move better when they are in pain, others when they really want something, that is, for some the stick is a good motivator, and for others it is a carrot. I recommend that you do not spend too much time studying all your psychological characteristics– fill your tank with exactly the fuel that allows you to work well and fly upward with all your might. That is, motivate yourself with what is closest to you. If bad emotions force you to do something with yourself and for yourself - let them be bad emotions, it’s okay - motivate yourself with fear, resentment, anger, aggression, whatever is more convenient for you. If it's greed, vanity, curiosity, then use it for motivation. Or maybe you just want to leave something behind in this world, something that will allow you to get great satisfaction from your life, as from a life in which there is meaning. The main thing is for you to see why or why you will develop yourself, make yourself better, learn new things, acquire new skills and abilities, get rid of your shortcomings and weaknesses. The main thing is that you care how your life turns out.

The benefits of self-development

In order to engage in self-development correctly and maintain sufficient interest in this process, you need to notice the benefits that you receive from it. Therefore, in self-development it is very important has a record of achieved results when you notice real qualitative changes in yourself and certain successes in your life. Since we are designed in such a way that it is difficult for us to do something without seeing positive results from our activities for a long time, it is extremely important to notice even the slightest changes for the better in ourselves and enjoy them. Then you will not stop and will not stop engaging in self-development. Interest must be constantly fueled, a person must see the meaning and benefit in what he does. How to record results? This is not an easy matter, I’ll tell you right away. It all depends on what goals you pursue when developing yourself. Sometimes a person wants, well, let’s say, to get rich in a year, but in a year active work He may not have any visible success in this area. No matter how many books he reads, no matter what he learns in a year, no matter what skills he develops, his financial situation may remain the same, or it may improve, but not significantly. Why? Yes for many reasons. Because it may take more time to achieve this goal, because the rest of the world also does not stand still and no amount of planning can be guaranteed to lead a person to the desired result, because, in the end, he may do something wrong, he may make mistakes and therefore not have the result he wants. And in general, not everything and not always in this life can be done the first time. Therefore, success does not come to people immediately and not to everyone, but mainly only to those who are persistent enough to be worthy of it. So if something doesn’t work out for you, then this is not a reason to give up everything and stop striving for your goal, stop developing yourself. Simply the results you can achieve in certain time, may turn out to be more modest than you expected, but they will definitely be there.

I advise you to keep a diary and regularly write down in it all the changes that you observe in yourself and your life - this will help you see many positive changes in your life that will occur thanks to self-development. If you are learning something, studying something, training something in yourself, then any changes in this direction must be written down or otherwise recorded. Suppose you want to lose weight and go on a diet for this - start writing down in your diary how many kilograms you have lost in a week, a month, two months, six months, a year. Also yours emotional condition try to describe in as much detail as possible in order to notice progress in this direction. Let all your work on yourself be before your eyes. In other words, write down, photograph, videotape all the changes that occur in your life thanks to your work on yourself. Usually we do not change very quickly, so we do not always notice these changes and it seems to us that we do not receive any benefit from self-development. For example, if you start actively reading smart books and articles, you will not immediately notice changes in yourself. It will seem to you that you are still the same person you were before, when in fact you will become smarter, more knowledgeable in some important issues, more flexible in your behavior, more effective in solving various problems and tasks, you will become make fewer mistakes and you will accept more often right decisions and so on. All this is very difficult to notice, but it is possible and most importantly it is necessary, very necessary. After all, the trouble with many people is that they want everything at once, without even realizing that if they get everything they want, they will quickly lose all interest in life. This is why it is so difficult for some people to notice their progress. They notice only very strong changes, and these happen very rarely. So keep a diary and write down everything that happens to you in order to see the results that you have achieved through self-development.

But here’s the question: does it follow from the above that self-development must always have a clear and clear goal? No, friends, you shouldn't. There may not be a clear goal, for the simple reason that a person may not know about all goals, developing certain qualities in himself, receiving certain knowledge. But at the same time, he can be close to them, engaged in self-development. There are many examples in history of how some activity that initially seemed meaningless made the person doing it, if not great, then at least somewhat successful. It may be the same in your life. You can study something without fully understanding why you are doing it. And then your knowledge can be very useful to you. Well, let's say you're studying foreign language, without the explicit goal of going somewhere where you can communicate with other people on it. But one day you may see an advertisement in the newspaper that says that very large company on high paying job you need a specialist who, in addition to a good knowledge of his profession, also speaks the language that you studied. And at this moment your knowledge can be very useful to you. That is, I want to say that it does not always make sense to gain some knowledge to achieve a certain goal; you can do the opposite - adjust your knowledge to some interesting goal that you recently learned about. Therefore, the main thing, I believe, is that you have an interest in self-development, that you devote enough time to it, and that you can always find an opportunity to benefit from what you have gladly studied, mastered, developed in yourself.

Of course, you need to plan and set goals; life should not be chaotic, otherwise you may get confused in it. But understand one very important thing - when planning and setting goals, you are following a path already trodden by someone, because you are striving for what you already know and using methods that have already been developed by someone. This is good, but it may not be enough for a person who is not interested in everything known. Some people need a different meaning, a different motivation, in order to develop themselves, and in order to gain this meaning, they need to engage in self-development for the sake of self-development itself, without any plan or specific goals. You can combine self-development for the sake of a set goal with self-development for the sake of interest, when a person learns about everything he wants to know about and what he needs to know about, thereby maintaining an interest in working on himself. In other words, figuratively speaking, you need to maintain the fire of passion for self-development by any means. Because even though I wrote at the very beginning of the article that once you fall in love with this business, you will never stop doing it, but you can still lose the taste for an active life if you initially worked diligently on yourself in a way that was not appropriate for you. at will, but because of necessity, or in other words, because of the impact of other people on you.

Self-development results

What could be your results in self-development? In fact, very different, from outstanding to barely noticeable. But at the same time, believe me, they are always there. And these results will definitely make your life better. I know a lot of people who are engaged in self-development and adhere to different strategies in this difficult, but extremely useful task. They pursue different goals with varying degrees of success. And I can say for sure - they all get certain reward for your efforts. Someone simply begins to think better, more efficiently, more practically, someone learns a new skill and, having acquired it, changes their job to a more interesting and profitable one, someone becomes a very good specialist in their field and people begin to value him highly, and someone... then you become healthier and more cheerful by working on your body. We always have room to grow. There is something to strive for. There is something to achieve success in.

I believe that one of the important goals of self-development should be a person’s desire to make his internal picture of the world as consistent with reality as possible. After all, the better we understand the world around us - its structure, functions, laws, the greater opportunities we will have to make it more perfect. For example, an engineer, understanding the laws of nature, can use them to create various devices that will make people's lives better, easier, more interesting, more fun, more comfortable. And a specialist who is well versed in the psychology of people can help them become happier and more cheerful, he can teach them to love themselves and life so that they receive satisfaction from it. And other specialists create medicines that save many people's lives. And so on. In other words, by learning about this world, thanks to development and self-development, we get the opportunity to change it. And even if we don’t always change it for the better, there is still no doubt that this needs to be done. So the more developed a person is, the greater the master of his life and even of this entire world he feels.

So, friends, self-development is really great. By doing it, you will not live your life in vain. Therefore, do not waste time - develop, learn, acquire new skills, set ambitious goals and look for ways to achieve them, the whole world is at your feet - live in it as a person, that is, be active. I don’t encourage you to do anything specific, for example, study psychology or anything else, I can only offer it to you. And you decide for yourself what you want to succeed in, what you want to learn to do, what you want to know, understand, realize. Self-development is self-development because a person decides for himself how and in what direction to develop. The main thing is to improve yourself, guided by the principles I described, and everything in your life will be wonderful. I invite you, friends, to develop together - I will write for you interesting articles on topics that are useful, from my point of view, and you will read them. And in this way we will explore this world, mainly, of course, from the perspective of psychology, after all, I understand more about it, but we will definitely touch on other topics. What do you say, do you agree?